Chapter 32

I wake up a shivering mess and remember I am on a train. I lean my head against the metal wall which is cold against the skin of my scalp. My mouth is dry, I am craving water. Hopefully where ever I get off this train will have some. I needed to get out of Dauntless. I couldn't take it. Being told that I could get killed within a matter of days, my body shivers but it isn't cold. It is the middle of summer at least 30 degrees out there. I stand up and put both of my hands onto the smooth glass of the window to see where I am. My eyes still try to close themselves but I fight to stay awake. Outside of the window I can see green fields that stretch to the sky, red flowers that are scattered like drops of blood in a battlefield. Hardly an appropriate comparison with what I have just found out. I realize that I am heading towards Amity. Again, kind ironic that for so long I wish I chose Amity. If I did then maybe I woulnd't be fearful of maintaining my life. Maybe I wouldn't be covered in bruises and blood. But just maybe, if I did choose Amity then I wouldn't have realized how strong I can be. And I wouldn't have met Connor. I kneel to the floor and let out the tidal of tears that have been building up in my eyes for so long. 

I'm confused, I want to be dead, but I want to be alive, I want to be in Amity, but I want to be in Dauntless. 

I jump off the train when it gets further into Amity. I land onto the grass as people watch in awe. A few smile, a few shake their heads and others watch in fear. Either because I'm Dauntless or because I'm Divergent. Marcus always told me that the Dauntless weren't here to protect us, they were her to scare us and keep us in line. I get it now. As I walk down the grass lane people continue to watch me. I pull the hoop up to conceal myself from their eyes. I continue to walk and I past a set of greenhouses which are topaz coloured from the sun's light. I watch my reflection and I see the broken girl who has been fear full of her life since the day she could walk. 

But the more I look, the more I can feel the effects the Divergence has on me. It is as if I could smash every single bit of glass in the city by the click of my fingers. I turn my head away from the reflection and continue to walk. But my eyes focus on a blond haired girl who is laughing with a bronze skinned male who wears thick black framed glasses. The sort all the Erudite wear to make them seem smarter. She turns her head to the sound of my footsteps and I run to her and wrap my hands around her shoulders. Cheryl has grown slightly since the last time I saw her, her clothes smell of many fruits but her hair carries the same soap scent that the rest of her family carries. She slowly puts her hands on me. 

"R-Ruby what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be in initiation?" She asks as I follow her through the wooden hall way of some building. There are white canvases on the wall with many drawings of peaceful things. Rainbows, trees, hearts and one that really gets me is a drawing of a sunset over the Hub whilst people all hold hands. And a quote underneath it, 

“The Wrong is past that is past. You must let it rest where it lies.” 

"If only." I mutter to myself. "Oh I just needed to get out, they're a little crazy." I say scratching my nose. Cheryl raises an eyebrow to me, I notice that the tips of her hair have been dyed a light red and yellow. The colours of Amity. The turns a wooden handle and she opens the door and I follow her into a room. A small room with a table and two chairs which are by the window, a bed and blank canvas that is half painted. By the looks of it she is painting a set of flowers on a river. I have always been pretty envious of Cheryl's artwork in the few rare occasions we could draw together she would make my drawings look like a three year old's. 

"Please take a seat." I pull out a wooden chair and sit on it's red cushion. "I apologize for the mess, I have only just moved in here. We finished initiation weeks ago. Though it was more like a few classes." She says whilst pouring a violet coloured liquid into two light green glasses. 

"There's no kitchen." Is the first thing that comes to my mind. Cheryl chuckles as she puts the two glasses onto a pink tray and she carries them over to the table. "Nope. We all sit together in the canteen for meals. Pretty similar to what Dauntless do I think. Apparently it is to make us all get along with one another better." She says handing me a glass of that violet coloured liquid. I observe it and stare at it, in fascination and fear. "What the hell is this?" I ask myself. Cheryl laughs,

"Don't worry it is only a blueberry smoothie. I reacted the same way when I first had one. And now I am hooked to them. But be careful as Ameer put it may be a little too exotic for us...Abnegationers." She says with sadness. I guess like me she knows about the reports of the Erudite. Her parents under scrutiny because of false accusations. Because of Marcus's doing. Guilt attaches itself to my chest tightly like an octopus tentacle. "I guess you have heard about the articles then?" I ask. She nods her head and wipes a tear from her eye.

"They're not just attacking my parents, they are attacking my brother, the Priors and your father! They have made nothing but lies. They have painted a good faction black with permanent ink." Cheryl's wobly voice says. She pulls out a pink tissue and wipes both her eyes and regains her composure. "Anyways take a drink." She tells me. I raise my glass and put the cold rim of it to my lips and pour the sweet smelling purple liquid to my lips. My body shudders on impact but I open my mouth and let the thick purple liquid enter. My tongue dances to the sweetness it has. Sweet and cool to the touch of my tongue. I take another gulp which ends the supply  of my new favourite drink. I open my eyes to see Cheryl with her mouth wide open. "Sorry I really needed a drink." I say.

"Good to see you like it. So erm what brings you here?"  She asks. Time to lie, again. Suddenly the sweet taste in my throat has bittered. I put the glass on the table. "I-I don't think I am going to pass initiation. I'm going to be factionless in a matter of days, I had to get out." I say. Spurting out my lies like vomit.

"Oh, what makes you think that?" She asks.

"I'm the worst one there. I'm not going to pass that test." I say, pleading for her to do something to make this whole situation better. "I got an Amity result on my aptitude test, maybe Dad can do something to allow me to move here or maybe I can go home." I say whispering. Cheryl shakes her head.

"I don't think that will happen. I think it will only fuel Erudite's ever growing fire faster." Cheryl says dampening my spirit. But I am almost shocked that amount of honesty has come out of an Amity's mouth. I always use to think they would tell white lies to keep the peace, to keep people plesant and to keep their place in the system.

"Well what do I do then? Just give up and become factionless?" I ask as the tears begin to overflow in my eyes causing everything to become a blur.

"No! Of course not. You are Dauntless you have been since the days you could walk. Remember when you climbed the monument at school?" She asks.

"Yes, I fell off." I say moving myself back to that day; the grass in my eyes, my head throbbing and Tobias's tears.

"I know. But you went higher than anyone from Dauntless who climbed. I swear you was the most popular person in school that week. I knew from that moment when it was our turn to chose your blood would fall onto the lit coal. So show them that you are Dauntless and that you belong there. Ok?" Cheryl says hugging me and molding her face into a smile. "Prove your doubters wrong." She whispers. We move apart. And I think about the last thing she said to me, "Prove your doubters wrong."  The thought of seeing Jessica, Lewis, Oliver everyone in disgust is beyond tantalizing. Oh what a vision that would be.

"I will thank you." I say with a smile.

"You're welcome and the next time I see you I want some of that famous Dauntless cake." She grins cheekily.

"I will admit it is delicious." I say. She smiles but it soon fades when she looks out of the window. "Erudite here?" She says. I look back to see a group of blue uniformed men and women walk underneath the flying kites. Are they following me? I quickly stand up and walk to the door. "I need to go thank you again see you soon." I say quickly leaving the room. As I close the door I hear Cheryl's muffled voice say goodbye to me. I pull the hood up of my jacket and begin to walk down the corridor. Not wanting to be haggled by the Erudite. I make my way outside of the building and continue to walk fastly to the train station. Hoping that they will think I am one of many Dauntless here working on the fence.

I walk into something. Or someone. I look up to see a bald man in thick framed glasses, blue shirt, grey trousers that have never seen a crease, black leather shoes that reflect my face and a stripped tie that sways in the wind. "Ah Miss Eaton, perfect I was meaning to have a word with you. Care to have a chat?" A female's voice says behind me causing me to shake. Jeanine Matthews. They have found me, shit.