Chapter 30

I sit on my bed still feeling the tickling sensation on my skin, I can still feel them those bugs in my throat. It is not hard seeing why Christina is scared of them. My body is still shaking slightly as we all discuss how it went for us.

"Oh God it was awful those bug things all in my throat and ears even thinking about it now just makes me wanna throw up." Olivia says. She holds Shayne's hand.

"Well if that was just a practice then who knows what we heading for." Shayne says. I watch the Candor male cry and wrap himself up in the black blankets of his bed. "What about you Ruby? Apparently you were the quickest one to stop the simulation." Shayne wonders with a smile. "Oh no it was terrible I think Uriah made a mistake it felt like I was in there for hours." I say pushing the attention away from me. Connor enters the dorm quietly talking with Jason, now seeing Connor only reminds me of the warning he gave me about the danger of his old faction. I lay back down back on my bed from a sudden feeling of sickness. I lay my hands on my stomach and just look up to the ceiling. I hear footsteps approach me. "I'm not in the mood for another lecture Connor. I'll talk later." I say unusually resistant to Connor's ability to overwhelm me with his charm.

"Well at least you spoke to me first this time." A deep voice. It doesn't match Connor's it sounds familiar. Too familiar. I sit myself up and see him. The olive skin, the 6ft muscular frame, the noticable scar on his chin, dark blue eyes and short hair. Four. Brother dearest. He clears his throat with a deep cough. "I hear you did well in the fear landscape." He says. 

"So? What's it too you?" I ask with a familiar sense of caustic-ness in my voice. Why am I so bitter? His smile soon fades and he steps closer to me and I edge back in case he decides to lash out on me. "What was your test result?" He asks with a worried expression on his face. 

"None of your business." I sharply say back. But from the look of his face I think he notices the shaky tone behind it. I head for the exit of the dormitory, I don't to be infected with Marcus's genes. Sonia's dead and Ruby is alive. She is Dauntless, always has been. He chuckles slightly the way Marcus did. And I run out there.

I'm trying to get away from all that everyday, everyday I wake up I think  I get closer to a new life, but it turns out I am only getting further away. It is almost like Marcus has an invisible thread wrapped around me and every time I get away he does something to pull me back. The thread called Four.

I find the others who are sitting with Aspin and Ryan in the training hall. They are playing a game of cards and I nearly laugh at the fact Olivia looks completely lost. But I don't because I realize that if I was playing the game I would probably have no idea what to do. I put my cold fingers on my cheeks which are boiling with fear and anger. I eventually turn away and leave after deciding that I won't be much company. 

I sit on a metal bench in the pit and watch a group of Dauntless climb the rock wall. And think about my life. My Divergence is on the verge of coming out, my brother is here and is permanent reminder of the abuse I endured in Abnegation, Erudite are planning an attack against hundreds of innocent people and I crave some guy who only feels sorry for me. I pick at my finger nails until they are raw and red with blood. I look at the tattoo on my wrist and remember the defiance I made at the choosing ceremony and I think of the phoenix tattoo on my rib cage. A hint that people are capable of putting themselves together slowly but eventually stronger than last time. I push those thoughts aside and ask myself 'Surely my life can be a lot worse, if Tris was going to tell anyone she would have said something by now. My life is ok.' Then I see the three Erudite come along. 'yep I spoke too soon.'  

"Well Stiff you apparently did well today." Jessica spits. Her bruising has gone down, but there is some swelling on her cheeks. "A bit weird how you were the worse one here and now you did well-"  Jessica adds. I actually thought about extending the olive branch out to them but it would most likely  get snapped. 

"What's your point Jessica?" I ask continuing to watch the Dauntless climb the rock face. Strange to think one small move or slip could kill them. 

"Didn't your older brother transfer to Dauntless. Is that your little secret how you got so good yesterday?" Lewis asks. I swear he gets bigger every time I see him. Like a skyscraper under construction, each day he gets taller and more dominant. 

"He did yes but I don't have anything to do with him and I don't have any little secret. I do not need one." I mock Jesssica's  croaky voice. At least in the first part of the sentence there was some honesty. 

"Just a heads up you piece of trash. We haven't gotten over what you did to us, like we have said we will manipulate everyone around you. We will break you down and hurt you bit by bit." Oliver says. I smile at his threats. Just like him, broken. 

"We I will look forward to it." I smile and walk away. I'm glad I didn't hurt them my revenge would be short lived and tempory and not worth the grief of any guilt. I see Tris with Christina and Charity. They are painting one another's nails with heavy black ink. Christina looks up to me with a smile.

"Well there she is the girl who finished the simulation faster than anybody else. Well done, Abnegationers surely are full of surprises aren't they." Christina says. Their nail polish is heavy with the scent of paint so much so it nearly knocks me back. Tris has a look of dissaproval on her face. "I hope my fear landscape wasn't too much for ya." She says blowing on her glossy nails that reflect her face.

"I need a word with Tris. Please." I say. Tris nods her head and stands up we walk together down a hallway in silence. She then leans against the wall and crosses her skinny arms. "Well what do you want?" She asks.

"I-I need help Tris. How did you pass initiation? There has to be a way of not getting...detected." I whisper. I can barely see Tris in the hallway, only the side of her face is shown underneath the cold light. She hesitates and sighs. "I will help you just not now. I will arrange to meet you. There is a way but I need time to sort it out." She says letting the Abnegation side take over her.

"Thank you." I say. Tris nods and smiles her white teeth look yellow underneath the light. No wonder Tobias fell in love with her. If let Tris show off how beautiful she is, it is hard not to be envious of her appearance. Long blond hair, smooth skin, a small and slender frame and a natural kindness which is rare in this city.  Now I just need to know how to stay alive until her message comes to me. 

Sooner the better. 

The next day we are in the fear landscape only this time it is different. I'm not fighting bugs off me know I am slowly bleeding to death. I'm in an enclosed room and I rapidly search for an exit as blood trails along the white floor. I try every door but they're either locked or have no handles. I look for a window but I am presented with miles upon miles of white brick walls. By now I have lost a ton of blood and my skin is covered in a maroon-ish coloured liquid. My head feels dizzy and my vision begins to whiten. I need to stop the simulation. "It's not real it is a simulation." I mutter the words. The blood stops trickling down my face and I find the strength to pick myself up from the floor. I head on over to a door that has suddenly been given a golden handle and I press down and walk into the white light until there is darkness and my awake and throw me back into the test room. I jump and wipe sweat off my forehead, and grip the edges of my sleeves to stop my shaking. Uriah puckers his lips and rubs his temples. "Four minutes again. Still a lot better than the rest even the Dauntless born are no where near this. Last time I saw this was when -" Like a train halting Uriah stops speaking and turns to face me. "What was your test result?" He asks and all the cheeriness in his voice has seemingly died. I guess the person he mentioned was one of the unfortunate ones.

"W-what?" I ask in shock. I subtly rock my body back and fourth. He gets closer to me and I can smell...alcohol? Not just on his breath but it lingers on his black clothing. I swear a big enough smell and I would be permanently drunk. "Your test result from the aptitude test. What was it?" He asks again.

"Amity." I lie selfishly. Uriah shakes his head.

"You're lying aren't you?" He says with a sarcastic smile. I feel sweat beads form on my eyebrows and my head become dizzy.

"W-why would I lie to you?" I ask. He looks down and nods his head.

"Ok whatever, but be aware normal people don't open the doors like that." He says going back to his computer. I leave the room a shaken mess and head back to dorm.

I was the last person to be called in so training is officially over for today. I walk past Jason who is polishing his leather boots with at least half a tin of the black stuff for each boot. His pale hands are covered in the stuff. I walk over to my bed and see the corner of a yellow piece of paper underneath my black pillow. I look over to Jason who is still fixed on his boots, I subtly take the note out and unfold it and read the neat handwriting.

'Meet me in the tattoo parlour later today.'

-Tris

I slide the piece of paper into my pocket and aproach Connor, Olivia and Shayne. "Hi guys." I say.

"Hello so how did it go?" Olivia asks.

"Alright. What about you guys?" I ask. They all nod their heads.

"Hey Eric is about to unleash the set of rankings in the training hall wanna come see?" Shayne says. I nod my head. And we eventually walk off into the training hall where there is already a circle of people around the black board. As soon as we enter people have begun to fix their eyes on to me. I should be used to people staring at me but all I get is an uncomfortable feeling. I walk into the crowd and to the front of them to see my name right there, with my own eyes.

1. Ruby

2. Connor

3. Aspin

I am first. I am first.

I get sting of excitement which forces my mouth to smile. Connor puts his hand on my shoulder. "Well done Ruby, I guess this means we are a power couple now." He says shocked either because I am first or he is second, I don't need to ask I already know the answer. I feel a little upset to think he is shocked I was capable of coming first. I push his arm off my shoulder and looked to the floor.

"I guess taking after her father gives her some advantages. Have you read today's article stiff?" Oliver asks walking to me with Jessica and Lewis at either side of him. He whips out a piece of white paper and unfolds it. "When talking to reporters an anonymous source said; Well I was only talking to her and she was very mean to me. She insulted my faction and everyone here, I was only trying to be nice. And then when we were sparring she almost killed me. I often heard her in the night scratching herself but I didn't help her in case she killed me." When Oliver finishes talking Jessica has a wide smile upon her face with her teeth and full display. By now anger has leaked into my blood stream and I lash out towards the first one of the three I can get my hands on. But a set of arms barricade me from my prey and I am lifted out of the training hall by Connor.

Despite his kindness I can't look at him. I'll be reminded of Erudite and their attacks on Abnegation.

"You ok?" He asks.

"I'm fine I need to go." I say walking away from him. Sadness has taken over his face.

"Don't do anything stupid ok." He says in the distance. As I walk down the hall  I feel a heavy guilt, he isn't the enemy his old faction is. I shouldn't be taking it on him, if I do I will only pushing him away and I don't think I can do without him.