Chapter 5 - Dirt on the Marble Floors

"Excited for your family's arrival?" Felix asks with a large smile as Ariastia and he stroll around the palace.

"Uhm... I guess so..." She chuckles nervously.

"You haven't seen them in so long! Do they send you many letters?"

"Not really, no..."

"This must be good, then! You'll get to catch up while they stay here."

"Yeah." She nods and tries to hide the uneasiness growing in her chest. She focuses on the palace's walls instead, intricate designs sculpted in stone, chandeliers in golden hues above their heads.

Ever since Felix returned from the west, he's been keen on spending time with his sister-in-law. They discuss all sorts of things, and he finds her company genuinely pleasant.

She would've thought the same about him if she weren't so deep in her head about her father's imminent arrival. He would come any day now.

~

"Mari, no matter what my father asks you to do, please remember that you are to stay by my side the whole time. Even if he asks you to step out, you don't. Is that clear?" Aristia dictates, looking at her maid's face through the mirror. She is arranging her high neck corset, which she picked specifically because it's hard to take off.

Just in case her father gets any ideas and asks her to strip for a beating, she's taking all precautions. Chris has already informed her that he's not interested in catering to her father the whole time he's here, and that he's only going to meet him during dinner time.

"Understood, Your Majesty." Mari says with a neutral expression.

"I know we are not on the best of terms, but still... This is my only request to you. Please stay by my side." Aristia pleads, hoping her tone didn't come off as desperate as she is feeling. She shouldn't plead. An Empress only commands, never asks, was what her mother's maid told her time and time again growing up.

However, she is in dire straits. This might be the only way to ensure she's safe from her father. If the clothes do nothing to protect her, her maid's gaze surely would. He wouldn't hurt her if someone else were present.

She asked the same of her personal guard.

Looking at herself in the mirror one more time, she is pleased with her looks: her hair hangs beautifully on her shoulders, and she truly likes the way the little bow on her black skirt looks.

She places her crown steadily on her head and she is good to go.

Hesitantly, she steps out of her room and lets herself be guided towards the side of the palace destined for guests. Her father arrived just this morning, and he's already asked for Aristia.

The anxiety rising in her stomach almost makes her want to throw up on the way to her father, and she's never felt more tired. She doesn't think she's gotten more than a few hours of sleep you can count on one hand in the past week.

"My daughter!" Her father rises from his seat and hugs her. "I see you're faring well! How have you been?"

His tone is friendly, his demeanour too, but Aristia knows it's only a façade.

"Father, it's good to see you after so long." She hugs him back, the smell of alcohol already lingering all around them. "I'm doing well indeed. How are you? How are mother, sister and brother? It's a shame they couldn't join.""

The King starts talking about her half-brother, sharing all the details of his development with her.

He is showing off, Aristia thinks as she notices he wouldn't stop talking about how smart and precious his son is, and about how good of a ruler he will turn out to be in a few years when he gets of age. He doesn't say anything about his wife, and on the subject about her half-sister, he brushes her off, telling her simply that "She's becoming more and more like you. Reckless, and too outspoken. Improper for a woman.", which tells the Empress that he hasn't changed one bit.

He talks and talks and talks, and more drinks are served. Aristia chooses to stick to tea, but her father is free of inhibitions. The alcohol keeps flowing as he has his glass emptied and refilled many times, and when he finally changes the subject hours later, Aristia starts expecting the worst.

"I appreciate that you've let me meet your close assistants, but still, I would like some time alone with my daughter." He says with a smile.

"I don't think that's needed, father." Aristia counters and smiles politely as well, looking intensely at her maid and guard. "It became quite late, and I'm afraid I must retire to my bedchambers."

I hope you remember what I asked of you, her gaze says.

The King laughs and puts his hands on his belly. "Grown up daughters, always defying their parents!" He exclaims with another laugh; the atmosphere feels anything but relaxed. "Come on, my daughter, we haven't seen each other in so long! Why the rush? You two better get out of the room so I can talk to my daughter alone, unless you want your heads served for dinner."

The maid and guard share an unsure look between them as Aristia keeps sipping her tea.

Don't go.

"Didn't you hear me?!" The King shouts and hits the table with his fist, looking sharply at the two servants, who tremble and apologise with a bow, before departing the room.

All hope is lost.

Aristia looks lifelessly at Mari as she closes the door, and when their eyes make contact, the maid averts hers in shame.

"Persistent, these servants of yours."

The Empress stays silent.

"Now that I've filled you in about life in the Kingdom, my daughter, it's your turn to fill me in about your life here."

"Well..." Aristia starts, her voice slightly trembling. She tries her hardest to control it, but it's getting harder to let words out. "Everything is good here."

"Is that so? How's your relationship with the Emperor?"

"Oh, we get along great." She lies through her teeth, in hopes that her father would believe it. If he knew she was valuable to Chris, he wouldn't dare lay a finger on her, as that could potentially start the war her father wants to avoid at all costs.

War breaking out would put the Kingdom into disarray, as it would crash the economy. The soldiers are also no longer as brave and powerful as they used to be, so the battle would most likely be lost, along with the rights to the emerald mine.

"Oh, is that so?" Her father hums. "Because I've heard something completely different..."

Aristia freezes.

"Daughter, let me just ask you this one question. Has your marriage been consummated?"

She avoids looking at her father, as his rage boils more and more within.

"Answer me!" He shouts, and she cowers in fear.

"... Yes." She lies again, hoping her father would buy it.

"You liar." He replies in anger. "The rumours about how the Emperor doesn't care for you have spread wide and far!"

"It's not true!"

"You useless bitch! You dare lie to me again! You had one job, and you can't even do that right!"

"What, is my only value determined on whether I sleep with him or not?!"

"Such an obvious thing to ask." The King scoffs.

He sits up fuming and grabs her by the hair, forcing her to look at him. Her crown falls off on the floor, making a clinking sound as it rolls away.

"Is it that difficult to use that unsightly body of yours for what it was made?! You simply had to seduce him and give him a child or two, and he would never dare try to take the emerald mine away from us!"

He drags her away from the sofa by her hair as she pants heavily, the lump in her throat becoming impossible to swallow.

She's scared.

She's so scared.

Someone, please...

"Father, I am no longer a mere princess. I am Empress and what you are doing is-"

"Empress?!" He laughs. "You're nothing! You're only on that throne because I put you there, and you can't even fulfil your duties as my daughter! Not only that, but you also talk back to me! Women these days, they can't understand that their only purpose is to be silent and appease their man!"

He shouts some more, and Aristia wishes she asked Chris for permission to have Changbin as a personal guard instead of that useless nobody. Changbin would've never left the room like a coward.

He would've never left her, she thinks.

She wishes her maid listened to her, just this once. She's never said anything about the shabby dresses, old food or cold bath water; the only thing she's ever asked her maid was to not leave this room.

"Take off that shirt and turn around, you useless wench. You're an excuse for a woman. Good for nothing!"

No one is coming.

Aristia starts trembling harder as her father grows impatient, turning her around himself. He starts untying the corset and curses a couple more times, before dragging the fabric of the dress down and uncovering her back completely.

She doesn't know what he's hitting her with, where he got it from, if it was on him the whole time.

A whip? A belt?

She can't say for sure.

She winces in pain and covers her mouth so as not to scream. She knows her father would get angrier and hit her harder if she let out the slightest sound.

Desperate for something else to focus on, she turns her attention to the tiles under her and looks for anything uneven, or maybe a spot missed by a cleaner.

She doesn't know how she got on the floor, but the tiles are cold under her.

Is this marble?

Her eyes keep searching, but there is not a single spot of dirt she can find. Nothing else to take her mind away from the abuse. She is forced to listen to every single curse word coming out of the King's mouth, forced to feel every hit.

Her back hurts badly, it burns, and the lack of hope in her heart weighs heavy on her.

She sees her crown laying flat on the ground, and how amusing this looks. That crown didn't protect her from anything. It didn't give her anything.

She believed she was safe in the Empire. She hoped the title of Empress would grant her protection, and this hope only grew when she saw how disinterested Chris was in her.

But it turns out that all along, this sense of safety has been fake. As fake as the smiles of the court ladies when they would bow at her in the hallways.

It hurt, not belonging anywhere, not being safe, not being loved.

If you don't have any of these, what point is there in living?

~

"Mari, do you think this is right...?" The guard asks the maid after they've just stepped out of the room.

"... I'm sure nothing bad is going to happen. It's her family, what could go wrong?" The maid answers. However, she is anything but calm, and her voice is trembling as she replies. She didn't obey her master, and if that was not bad enough, the look Aristia gave her made her blood run cold.

"She asked us to stay by her..."

"Well, why were you such a coward? You're her guard. I'm a mere maid." Mari retorts.

"He said he'd kill us. I say it's better we left."

"Yeah..." Mari says with an unsure nod, but something deep within her chest is tightening. She has a bad feeling about this, and with each passing moment, her anxiety is growing.

She starts running before she realises where she's headed, and being in front of the Emperor's office, she's stopped by his two guards.

"What business do you have here?" Lee Know asks, eying the maid sharply.

"Please... I need to talk to His Majesty. He needs to go-"

"Hold on." Changbin stops her. "Breathe a bit and explain it clearly. What's wrong?"

"The Empress- we, we were asked to get out, and-"

"You're not making any sense, girl." Lee Know shakes his head.

"Please! Something's definitely wrong! The only one who has enough authority to enter that room is the Emperor. Please!"

"What's with all this ruckus?" Seungmin opens the doors to the Emperor's office. "We are discussing an extremely important manner, and you-"

"Your Majesty!" The maid brushes past Seungmin and falls to her knees in front of Chan's desk. "Please forgive my imprudence!"

"What is going on?" Chris asks sharply, and the maid cowers in fear. She broke several rules by coming here and speaking without being asked to, but the impending sense of doom in her heart forces her to keep acting rashly.

"It's about her Majesty. The southern King threatened me and the guard to step out of the room, and as soon as we left, loud voices could be heard from the other side!"

"So, what point is there in disturbing me? You dare come here and interrupt an important discussion for a mere family dispute?"

"Your Highness, my apologies, but... something is definitely wrong. Her Highness has been on edge for the past week, and even more so this morning. Her only request was to not leave her alone with her father, and we failed to respect it. Please, I beg of you, go there and check if Her Highness is unharmed!"

Unharmed...? Chris raises an eyebrow.

"How imprudent of you to come here and interrupt our meeting for something so trivial." Seungmin scoffs. "She must've been on edge because she didn't gather any intel from us to report to the King, Your Highness."

Chris nods at Seungmin's words, but looking at Mari's face, he grows anxious.

There's probably no reason for him to feel this way, but he decides to listen to the maid's words, and stands up.

"Fine. I shall pay my dear father-in-law a visit. Meeting's dismissed." He waves his hand in the air to Seungmin and Jisung and begins walking towards the guest rooms.

~

The doors open and Chris' presence is announced in the room.

"If it's not my son!" The King stands up from the sofa and heads to Chris, pulling him into a large hug. The first thing Chris notices is that he reeks of alcohol, and the second thing he notices is Aristia, who's gripping her collar tightly, whose eyes are unfocused, who didn't even move a muscle to at least look at him.

Something feels odd, and as he comes closer to sit down next to the girl, she shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

She's trembling slightly, hanging onto her collar for dear life, and her eyes are red, slightly glossy. The crown is sitting weirdly on top of her head, and her hair is messy.

"Hey-" Chris begins, but Aristia cuts him off.

"Excuse me..." She says and gets up hastily, running out the door.

"Tsk. These girls have no manners. Apologies, my son. Seems like I've raised an improper daughter." The King shakes his head in disapproval, but Chris finds it all odd. Still, he must entertain the King for a little while, so they begin talking.

~

"Your Majesty!" Mari exclaims as she sees Aristia and tries to grab her hand so she can apologise for not obeying her orders.

Aristia, however, slaps her hand away and doesn't look at her.

"Draw me a bath and get out." She commands as soon as they get to her room, and Mari nods and leaves hastily.

Aristia is hurt. Finally left alone, she throws the crown away as hard as she can, and her expression turns into a grimace as she's wincing, small whimpers falling out of her lips.

She sits down and is trying to keep her body as stiff as possible, for if she relaxes even for a second, it would hurt so much more. The burning in her back is simply unbearable, and she's feeling herself grow weaker.

She doesn't even notice the time passing, but as her maid returns and informs her that the bath is ready, she figures out she's been sitting on the floor for about 30 minutes without realising.

Getting up is agonising, as sharp pain shoots all-throughout her body with every move, but she manages to get to the bathroom and take off her clothes. Her white blouse is covered in red spots. She wonders how many lacerations she has, for them to leave such deep red marks, and she wonders how she'll be able to treat them this time, without her father's doctor, without alerting the whole Empire.

Once everyone knows Aristia doesn't mean anything to her father, no one would support her any longer. As it stands now, she only has the support of the people tired by war; they love her because she represents the very peace symbol they so dearly wished for. But if she doesn't mean anything to the Kingdom... she doesn't have any value.

It hurts.

It hurts to not mean anything to anyone. To only be loved because you are able to give them something in return, not because you are an individual deserving of love.

It hurts.

Aristia doesn't even know at this point if she is deserving of anything but this constant state of fear and anxiety.

She hops in the bathtub, preparing herself to face freezing cold waters, but is instead met with the perfect temperature.

She almost wants to laugh.

All this time, she's been given cold water to bathe in, but now that her maid disobeyed her, she feels bad, so she finally gives Aristia a normal treatment, deserving of the Empress?!

The Empress. What a joke. Aristia starts laughing for real this time. She laughs and laughs and laughs, and tears begin falling as the laughter fades into more whimpers from all the pain she is feeling.

If only that pain was just physical.

She buries her body underwater and her head is soon to follow, and she just keeps it there for as long as possible, trying to not pay any mind to the burning of the cuts on her back, that is more intense than ever in contact with the water.

Despite the water being warm, she is freezing cold, and trembling. She tries to not dwell on anything; not on her feelings, not on the shivering, not on the pain – and instead focuses on her past habit.

All the practice these past months to hold her breath has been proven useful. She can now be underwater for more than 5 minutes without feeling the need to breathe.

Once her head raises to the surface, she dips it back in immediately. She doesn't want to be outside of the water's warmth, for that would make her cry again and think about how shit her life is, and she doesn't think she'd be able to stand it.

~

(A/N) So, this happened.

Do you think Chris will find out about what Aristia's gone through?

Let me know!

Love,

Storm