Chapter 47

They were appointed a sleeping area. It's an open area where Riley feels exposed. They all found their beds quickly. Once settled, they began to venture out. Tris went to speak with David. He was the director of everything.

She had wasted the entire day thinking, as she commonly did.

Now, it was night. It was time to sleep, but Riley couldn't shut off her thoughts. They were consuming her. She felt vulnerable and scared. Looking around, she noticed everyone else was asleep. They had no problem resting. Tris and Tobias were close by. Uriah and Peter to the right of her. Caleb was to the left of Tris, and Christina was next to Riley. The only person not close was Eric, who was keeping his distance. She couldn't blame him. The only person who liked him was her, and she still wasn't sure that was a true statement.

Riley wasn't sure what to do next. Learning she was part of an experiment and that her entire life was based on a lie wasn't something easily processed by the mind. She had no idea what to do with herself. All of them were handling the news differently. Uriah and Peter were more upbeat. Tris seemed optimistic, as did Christina. Tobias was wary. Caleb and Eric were a different story. They both helped Jeanine because they believed in her. Now they had an entirely different perspective. Everything they believed in was a lie. So many people had died because of them, both of them.

Riley felt an urge to comfort Eric, but she didn't. Being here at the Bureau made her realize all of the horrible things all of them had done. All of the pointless fighting and wars. None of it mattered.

The Faction system was just a prison. Evelyn was right. It was a way to control everything. It was all meaningless. Riley had never felt so insignificant in the world. A world that was much bigger than she imagined. For so many years, she trusted the Faction system. She believed there was a place out there for her. Now she was staring the truth in the face and still couldn't accept it.

When she found out she was Divergent, it terrified her. Yet, it gave her hope. It made her feel like she was different. She wasn't just the daughter of Marcus Eaton. She was more. She was special. It turns out she isn't. Riley wasn't anything special.

She pushes out of bed. Sleep wasn't something that would visit her tonight. So, she starts to walk. In Dauntless, it helped her. She found comfort in being alone. However, as she walked out of the room and down the hallway. Riley felt anything but comfort. This wasn't a place she found solace in. This place wasn't her home. But her home wasn't her home anymore. It was just an experiment. None of it was real.

Riley finds an empty ledge against a window. She is on the second floor of the airport. Air travel still didn't seem real. It seems crazy but exciting. She had always loved heights. Maybe they will get a chance to experience air travel.

Her eyes scan over the area. She curls into herself and leans against the cool glass. The area is full of plant life, at least a mile all around. Then, it turns back to orange/red clay. The Bureau was in the center. Almost a perfect circle. There were long roads that led to nowhere.

The Bureau itself was still questionable. It didn't help that the Bureau was watching everything. They knew every detail about them. They had been watching them for years. Riley fears what they saw. Did they see her father's abuse? Did they watch her cry herself to sleep every night? Did they watch her time in Dauntless? A shiver went down her spine at the thought. She hoped they didn't see some of the things she did.

"Hey," a voice said. Riley jumped, placing a hand on her heart. She turned her head to see Eric standing in the shadows. His figure was barely illuminated by the outside light.

"Hey." Riley isn't sure why he's there. "What are you doing out here?"

He ignores the question and sits across from her. She watches him for a moment. "What are you thinking about?"

It's an odd question to hear from Eric. Normally, he doesn't care about the thoughts of others. He hardly cares about their feelings as well. But it was never like that with her. He always cared. "I don't like it here." It was the first time she said it out loud. The others seemed to like this place, but something was off about it. It reminded her too much of how Jeanie did things. Everyone fell perfectly in line. Everyone had a job or place. There was perfect order.

That was the last thing Eric was expecting her to say. "You don't?"

Riley looks back out the window. "They've been watching us this whole time and did nothing to help." They could have used their help many times. Eric stiffens at the idea. Everyone here knew what he did. They watched him kill innocent people, Divergents.

The Bureau had watched them all for years. They watched them grow up, fall in love, and fight in wars. Riley looked back at Eric. She wondered in the Bureau watched what happened between them. She hated that they might have seen the most intimate moments between them. "They watched me kill all those people," Eric whispered.

It's the first time Riley's ever heard him speak with remorse. Most likely, it is the first time. He's changing for the better, as Riley knew he would. She always believed there was good in him. Maybe this was when it shined through. "You thought you were doing the right thing."

"No," he says. "I didn't." Riley isn't sure what he means. "If I thought I was doing the right thing, I would have killed you when I found out."

"When did you find out?" That was something she had always wanted to know.

Eric thinks for a moment. "I think I always knew." He stares out the window. "It was there from the start." That's what everyone said. "It wasn't until that night on the bridge that I knew for sure." He had always known she was Divergent. He kept that information to himself because he knew what it would mean for her.

Riley stared at the dark horizon. Somewhere out there was her home. Chicago. She had always hated the walls that entrapped the city, but now she missed them. She wanted to return home and see Maddie again. Riley regretted leaving her behind. She should have come with them. "I want to go back." Eric couldn't agree with her. There was no place for him there. There wasn't a place for him here either.

"Where would you even go?"

Riley thought for a moment. "Amity." That was the only place she wanted to be. "I was there for a few days, but I had never felt more at home." She should have picked Amity on her choosing day. "It was perfect there." It was perfect until the Dauntless showed up. People were killed, and she was shot twice.

Eric's eyes flicker down to her arm. There's no longer a bandage around her arm, but the wound hadn't healed. It was a red scar that traveled halfway around her arm. At some point, she had ripped the wound open from one side to the other. Stitches were holding it together, but it had healed well. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, as many already had.

She takes a deep breath. She thinks back on her time in Dauntless. Some of the memories had faded, but others were crystal clear. "Eric," she finds herself saying. "You knew I was related to Tobias, right?" He nods. "Then why-" he words fail her. What she wants to say is: Why did you still pursue me? Why did you save me? Why me?

But she can't. No words come out. All she can do is stare. Luckily, Eric knows what she is trying to ask. "Originally, I saw you as a way to torment him. Something to hold over his head." Riley's heart aches at his words. It hurts her in a way she doesn't understand. "I don't know what happened after that." He had clearly changed his mind.

"What changed your mind?"

"About what?"

"About me."

He thinks for a minute. Eric can't pinpoint the exact moment that mindset changed. All he remembers is a vibrant red-haired girl walking into him one night. He already knows who she is at that point, but he can't help himself from admiring her beauty. The next day he sees her smiling at breakfast. What is there to be happy about, he thought then.

He understands now why she was smiling. Riley was just a happy person. There wasn't a lot of those left. Until then, he had never met anyone who was just happy. Even after what she went through, she was happy.

Maybe that was why he liked her so much. From the start, he felt drawn to her. He knew it was wrong. She was Four's younger sister. Yet, he found himself looking for her in dark corridors. Like Four had as an initiate, she walked around at night.

"I'm not sure," he finally says. Riley isn't sure she believes him. "But I knew I shouldn't get attached to you-" he pauses. "I couldn't get attached to you." Riley notices how he changed one of the words.

"Why not?" She wants to know why. Was it because she was related to Tobias? Or was it something else?

He sighs, "in my experience. Girls like you don't live very long."

Riley's offended by his words. "Girls like me?" She had constantly proven herself to others. Time and time again, she put herself on the line for others. She was just as strong as any of them.

"Yeah."

"Because I'm not strong enough? Because I'm not cold enough?"

Not once does Eric display any emotion. "Because there is good in you, and good people never live very long." She's stunned into silence. Eric clears his throat and stands up. "Here." He takes out a folded piece of paper. "You dropped this on the truck." Silently, she takes the paper from him. Eric walks away from her, his body vanishing in the darkness.

Riley unfolds the piece of paper and finds the drawing that Maddie had made for her. She smiles faintly, grateful that Eric found the drawing. It meant a lot to her.

His words sit with her a moment longer than she would have liked. She thought Eric was insulting her, but he wasn't. It was a compliment, a twisted compliment. But it was one. Eric didn't see her as weak. He saw her as good. You can be good and brave.

The smile on her face grows, and she bites her bottom lip. She had no idea what would happen to them at the Bureau, but she knew was that she was right. There was good in Eric. All that was left to do was make him see it too.