11. ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x GN!ReaderWarnings: Suggestive themes.Words: 11.5k+Request: YesSummary: Natasha never took love as anything serious. It was a little game to her. Until she is forced to choose between two of her pawns, not knowing how much she would regret her choice.

What can you say about love?

Is it something that comes unexpectedly, hitting you like a truck, making all those bruises inside your body? The ones that you can't get rid of, that stick permanently to you, not letting even a small part of them disappear. Bruises that are the beginning of someone becoming a part of you. How you hope to never have to be without that person, how their company is the only thing you really need in your life to make it better. How you want them to love you back, to become those bruises on their body. And when the bruises are getting bigger and bigger that at some point they start to reach each other, they merge into one. That's when you know you can't get rid of the person you fell for.

Or maybe it's something that comes along the way while you have the opportunity of getting to know someone a little bit better. When you listen to them talking or see them smiling. How with time you notice more things about that person that make you fall for them little by little. And your body is making sure to let you know about that erupting butterflies in your stomach or sending shivers down your spine.

How you become closer and you let that person creep into your heart, even though they started creeping into it a while ago when you let one of your walls slowly crumble down. They create their own walls around your heart, making sure you will not be able to break these walls, making sure you will not be able to reach your heart and rip that person out of it.

How there's a day when you watch them with a smile plastered on your face and a million thoughts running through your mind. How you finally let the thought of loving them register in it. This doesn't hit you like a truck. This gives you a nudging feeling from the very beginning and this feeling only grows with each passing day.

And maybe it's the feeling that hits you the moment you realize that you lost the only person that could make you happy. How you see them walk away not being able to do anything about it and have to live without them, just to after some time feel the emptiness. Because when that person left they took a part of you with them. And that empty feeling is your reminder of what you once had and didn't see it. And because of the ignorance of your own feelings, you lost that person just to find out they're the only one you need to live.

But is it easy to say if you're in love? That you start falling in love? Or who you are falling for? The feeling of safety and being understood, the feeling of meaning something more to someone else. And how you feel that you can trust that person with anything. How they look at you and how they smile at you with so many emotions running through their features. How they can brighten up your mood with the simplest things. This is foretelling of your feelings.

Sometimes you start to fall in love but are too blind to notice. Sometimes you ignore it. Sometimes you are too afraid to see and admit your love for someone. Sometimes you do all these three things at once, getting lost in your own head. And sometimes it's too late when you realize who your heart belongs to.

Do you often think about love and how you could find it? Or how it could find you?

Walking down along the hallway that was dimly lit with the rays of the sun peeking around the corner of the wall and piercing through the windows, light footsteps were silently echoing through the Avengers Compound.

At seven in the morning with messy hair sticking out in every possible way, eyelids lowered so much that you could mistake it for closed eyes that were hidden behind them and still full of sleep, hand in the hair gently massaging the scalp while the back of the other one covered a mouth in an attempt to stifle a yawn. Making her way to the kitchen so she could grab a snack or hopefully find someone making breakfast, Natasha wasn't thinking about any of those things.

Blinking a couple of times while nearing her destination, she could hear the voices of a couple of people and the sizzling sound of the cooking food. Continuing her walk she came to view slowly coming up to the countertop.

"Morning." She said in a raspy voice and with a small smile to the others.

She received smiles back and a chorus of greetings while she was taking a seat on the stool. Another yawn tried to make its way out of her mouth, making her cover it with her hand and close her eyes briefly.

"Do you want pancakes?" She heard a feminine voice, making her open her eyes to see Wanda standing by the stove and looking at her over her shoulder.

She was holding the handle of a pan while flipping the eggs and bacon using a spatula she was holding in the other hand.

Natasha smiled gratefully at her friend giving her a small nod. "Yeah, that would be great." Wanda nodded back and turned her focus to the food she was making.

Reaching her pocket, Natasha grabbed her phone and started busying herself with it while waiting for breakfast. She came across a lot of ads with clothes and one particular with dresses caught her attention.

She clicked on the picture to get a better look at the dress. "Wands?" The brunette hummed in response. "You wanted to go shopping for a dress right?"

The woman nodded, humming again. "Mhm, I was thinking that maybe we could go today? The party is in a couple of days and I don't want to be left with nothing." She said putting the pancakes on the plate before pouring the last drops of pancake batter on the pan.

A pair of footsteps could be heard from outside the kitchen, getting louder with every second until you entered the room. "You have a ton of shit in your closet, Wan. I'm still surprised it hasn't broken down from the number of clothes in it yet." You told the brunette passing her while grabbing a pancake and taking a bite.

Natasha's eyes trailed after you, noting your appearance. Your hair was messy, indicating that you just probably woke up but your face was awake. You were wearing some gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Knowing your schedule you got ready for the gym and would head there in a short time.

Wanda threw you a glare over her shoulder at which you just smiled sweetly and took a seat at the countertop next to Sam.

"I don't have a ton of shit, Y/n." She glared at you one more time before turning her head away from you.

You slowly nodded, chewing the food in your mouth. "You're right, I'm sorry." You said after swallowing.

"Thank you." Wanda said, glancing at you briefly.

You grabbed another pancake and looked ahead of you, staring at nothing in particular. "You have more than that." You muttered under your breath, making Sam snicker, turning his head to you and lowering it, trying to cover the sound.

Wanda turned her body in your direction, sticking out her hip with one hand on it and the other resting on the kitchen counter. A raised eyebrow added to annoyance that was already swirling in her eyes.

You were taking another bite, your eyebrows lifted the tiniest little bit at the action while your eyes met Wanda's looking at her innocently. "Yes?" The muffled question left your mouth.

Others were either watching and waiting if the brunette would throw you to the wall like that one time when you didn't know when to stop, Natasha being one of them, or they were just occupied with eating their food making small conversations with each other.

Wanda sighed, raising her hand to point a finger at you. "If you don't shut up I will take the food away from you." She was serious. She was trying to deprive you of one of the little things that made you happy.

Natasha let a small smile creep on her face, knowing you wouldn't mess with the witch when it comes to something like that.

The redhead watched as your hands immediately shot up in defense, pancake stuck between your teeth and hanging out from your mouth.

Her green eyes filled with amusement at your childishness when you gave Wanda a thumbs up in response. Sokovian sighed turning to the stove, before turning it off and moving the eggs, bacon, and pancakes from pans and on the plates.

The redhead's eyes were still looking at you. "You're gonna give her a headache one day." She teased you with a small smirk on her lips while Wanda slid a plate full of food in front of Natasha, getting a small 'thank you' from the redhead.

She saw how your gaze moved to meet hers. A smirk of your own appearing on your face. "Well, if you feel left out I can always make something else of your's ache so you won't be able to walk for a week." Natasha's eyebrow raised at that.

Leaning forward and slightly on the countertop, her eyes never left yours. "You sure you could handle me?"

She watched as your smirk widened and you raised your hand, wiggling your fingers in the process. As you were about to say something, a loud groan was heard from her side.

"Could you, please, stop with this at least in the kitchen?" Steve's pleading voice spread throughout the place, making you lift an eyebrow, clearly amused with his reaction.

But he'd been listening to you flirting and teasing since you two met. No matter where and when there was always a comment thrown at one another. He knew you were just joking around but hearing those things didn't make it any better.

Natasha just leaned back, busying herself with breakfast. "Okay, Stevie with-holy-ears boy." You said out loud before standing up to make yourself a coffee.

Natasha continued eating while you were standing next to Wanda waiting for your coffee. Others got back to their own conversations or were occupied with a phone or some magazine.

Some other voices could be heard nearing the kitchen before Tony, Bruce, and Peter entered the room. The teenage boy immediately run up to you and hugged you tightly. You chuckled under your breath before wrapping your arms around him to reciprocate the gesture.

"You won't believe. My teacher was so fascinated with the project that she chose me to go on a science trip." He told you excitedly with a huge smile on his face after he released you from his embrace.

You smiled back at him, ruffling his hair. "See. And you were afraid that they wouldn't like it."

Natasha was observing you two all the time with a small smile on her face. Peter always saw you as an older sibling he always wanted. She stumbled on you two doing his school project on multiple occasions or when you two were playing some game she doesn't even know the name of.

Still, she found it adorable how you cared for the younger boy and were always ready to drop everything just to help him.

Like that last time, two weeks ago when she was looking for you to ask if you wanted to train with her, but when she walked into your room she was met with you and Peter laying on the ground with multiple electronic parts, building God knows what. But the sight of you two like that made her smile. It always did.

His face almost broke in two with the force his smile was sticking to his face. "I know. And thank you so much again. I will bring you a souvenir." He quickly said, before hugging you one more time and rushing out of the kitchen. "I need to go, but I'll see you later." His shouting was slowly fading away before it wasn't heard at all.

Natasha looked at you slightly amused

Your body turned a little and your eyes landed on hers. "What?"

She shook her head. "Oh, nothing, nothing. Don't mind me." She said before finishing her food.

Your eyes squinted at her before reaching for your coffee and leaning on the counter. You started making small talk with Wanda while Natasha was listening to others.

"That new prototype is going great by the way." She heard Tony say. Again their science stuff. She was bored listening to it, but there wasn't anything better to do for now.

Natasha faced Wanda and made grabby hands for the cup of coffee the brunette was holding. The other woman laughed under her breath, taking another cup and filling it with a hot drink, before handing it to the redhead and getting back to the conversation with you.

You two were close. Both leaning your sides on the kitchen counter and exchanging words, chuckling from time to time.

Natasha gripped her cup and took a sip of her drink, focusing her attention back on others.

"It's not the best idea to do that, Tony." Bruce said propping his glasses. "I mean, it could go wrong."

Tony shook his head and patted the man on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It's just one part, it won't do anything bad." Natasha had no idea what they were talking about. Probably another stupid thing.

"What are you building?" Your voice made Natasha direct her head to you.

Tony did the same and smiled at you. "A robot. I want something that could help us more. Like J.A.R.V.I.S. but slightly different."

You hummed nodding. "If this robot will do most things for me, then I want that." Said Sam standing up from his seat, grabbing his plate and moving to where you were standing to put it in the sink.

Bruce started fiddling with his fingers. "I don't know. Something can go wrong. I don't want to be stressed for another couple of days because of it." The scientist replied with a slight nervousness in his tone

Natasha wouldn't be herself if she didn't throw a comment having an opportunity like this. "There are ways to make you loosen up really quickly." She said in a flirtatious tone, throwing a wink in Bruce's way, before taking a sip of her coffee.

Bruce looked at her, mouth slightly agape, not having any reply and becoming more and more flustered by seconds.

The redhead was satisfied with herself. She liked to flirt. A lot. But seeing as almost nobody in the compound was responding to her, she didn't try that much with them. The only exception was you who had the same nature as her, and Bruce who was turning red because of one little comment from Natasha.

It was entertaining for her, so she kept doing it.

Steve cleared his throat when Bruce was struggling to resume his talk with Tony while Wanda, you, and Sam were quietly chuckling to each other at Banner's reaction and Bucky with Thor were in their own world debating something.

Natasha, however, received a disapproval look from Steve, making her shrug her shoulders and finish her drink.

She was standing up from her stool when she saw you putting your cup down and starting moving out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go train. Nat, you coming?" She heard you ask while she moved to the sink.

"To end up under you again?" She asked with a small smile, putting her own cup down and turning to you.

You smirked at her, bending forward a little bit. "You're always welcome to end up under me." Seems like you forgot not to do that when Steve was in the room.

Natasha slowly strutted to you with her smile turning to a small smirk. "As long as you show me those skills of yours." Now, Steve was probably wishing he had left the kitchen earlier.

"Anytime you want." You replied.

Steve's groan was heard again, making you smile amused.

Natasha shook her head looking up at you. "Good to know. But I have to go with Wanda to the mall." Natasha was met with your pout after she said that.

She thought you looked cute like that, even though she wouldn't tell you. "Okay. See you later." You answered and left addressing everyone.

Natasha followed you with her eyes for a short while, before turning to the others. Wanda started talking about dresses when Natasha saw Bruce glancing at her shyly and nervously in the corner of her eye.

It was probably because of her comment earlier. And if it was about something else she wouldn't know either way, so she just brushed it off getting back to her conversation. She had a party to prepare for.

——

"What about that blue one?" Pointing a finger at the said dress, Wanda asked her friend who seemed not to be able to decide on what to wear.

The closet full of dresses was wide open, the pieces of clothing hanging on the hangers or spilling out of it, others either thrown on the bed or the floor.

It was fucking hard to pick the right one. There were so many but at the same time, there was nothing to wear. At least that's what two women were thinking.

A huff left redhead's mouth when she reached with her fingers to lightly grab at the side of the dress, before pulling it a little bit to her. "I don't know. It doesn't look bad but it's not great either." The same thing was said the last fifteen times.

They'd been trying to pick a dress for about two hours now and came up with nothing. It was either too dull, too long, too revealing, not revealing too much, too tight, too loose, with annoying sleeves, without the needed sleeves. The list went on. With reasons, someone else wouldn't understand. But they made sense to them so they kept looking and looking.

Honestly, how they hadn't had enough of that by now was impressive.

Wanda stepped closer, moving the hangers left and right in an attempt to find something. Like there weren't already twenty dresses and more laying around the room.

"There's absolutely nothing. If it stays like that I will have to go in my underwear." Natasha said a little bit annoyed.

Wanda chuckled, still going through the clothes. "I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't mind that." And she wasn't wrong. Undoubtedly, everyone would be happy to see that.

Natasha groaned loudly, throwing her head back and burying her face in her hands. "It's not funny." Her voice muffled a little. Her hands dropped back to her sides while she looked at her friend. "The party is in the next few hours and I still don't have anything to wear." She said it like her closet wasn't just in front of her and all of her clothes were invisible.

Wanda grabbed a dark-gray dress and held it in front of her. She hummed to herself getting a look at it. "This one is the one." She said throwing it at Nat, before turning around and walking up to the multiple pairs of shoes.

Natasha was startled with a sudden movement and the dress landing on her face and shoulder. She quickly removed it from her head and took a look as well. It didn't look bad. Probably the best one out of the rest she had. She shrugged to herself and looked up in time to see Wanda coming up to her with pair of black high-heels in one hand and gray in the other.

"You're taking black ones, cause I have a black dress. This way we will match." Wanda told her shrugging one of her shoulders and smiling sweetly.

Natasha took the pair of high-heels from the witch. "Okay, we can go change now and then do hair and make-up." The brunette nodded at that and both women got to work.

They spent... God knows how long to get ready for that party, but they wouldn't be late. Hard to believe but still true. Both of them stood in front of Natasha's mirror doing last touches to their hair and smothering their dresses.

"We look hot." Sokovian stated, leaning her face closer to the mirror and tapping her painted lips.

Natasha smiled at her running her hands through her red hair. "Yes, we do." She agreed. She trailed her eyes over her body to make sure everything was looking great. Her dark-gray dress reached her knees and was supported with a small black belt wrapped around her waist. The dress was sleeveless with wide straps on her shoulders. One part of the upper part of her torso was entirely covered while on the other her collarbone was in plain view.

Wanda turned to her and took a good look before she smirked. "We're definitely gonna feel some stares." Both women laughed before making their way out of Natasha's room.

As they were walking down the hallway Wanda looked at the redhead. "You have some plan for tonight?"

Russian only shook her head, meeting her friend's eyes. "No, just the usual. Drink, talk here and there and have fun. I'll probably be dancing with you all night again."

It was always like that. Alcohol, mingling, and staying by each other's sides. But nothing was wrong with that, Natasha had fun and wasn't bothered by people she didn't take interest in.

Wanda smirked at the redhead. "About that fun. Are you gonna end up with Y/n tonight?"

Natasha gave her a slightly confused look. "No. Why would I?" She really didn't know why Wanda would ask such a question.

Wanda scoffed throwing her head to the side, before looking back at Natasha. "You guys have been flirting since forever. It's only normal if you end up in their bed on one of these nights." Natasha furrowed her eyebrows at that.

Yeah, sure, she had been flirting with you from the very beginning and you had been doing the same, but that doesn't mean you two have something going on.

"It's just playful flirting. We're friends." The redhead told the brunette. Cause friends you were.

They got to the door that led to the party. "Yeah, friends that want to fuck each other." The brunette replied pushing the door open and walking in with her friend beside her.

The both of them headed straight to the bar, taking their seats and ordering drinks. "We don't want to fuck each other."

Wanda rolled her eyes, putting her arm on the bar top and leaning on it. "With the number and intensity of comments you two have shared, I could say you already did that only using them." Witchy had a point. Sometimes the things that left your mouths were a real deal. God help the people who heard them.

The bartender came back, sliding the drinks towards the two women who thanked her and got back to their conversation. "We are friends Wanda. Y/n is not serious about this flirting thing. They do it with a lot of other women."

Sokovian sighed taking a sip of her margarita. "What about Bruce then? He seems to like you."

Natasha's eyebrow raised at that as she took a sip of her red wine. "Bruce? He gets all flustered when I say something suggestive. And barely looks at me. Only glances when he thinks I don't see."

"And do you like him?"

Natasha didn't need to think much about it before replaying after a second and without hesitation. "He is a nice guy, but I don't think there's something more." Natasha said. "Besides, I don't think he likes me in that way."

Wanda nodded. "Well, shame. You and Y/n would look cute together. But you're right, they flirt a lot." The brunette's eyes wandered around the room when her eyes stopped. "I'm gonna leave you for a moment." She said, before standing up and walking somewhere.

Natasha shrugged to herself, lifting the glass of wine to her lips and sipping it. She was watching different people talking, laughing, and dancing, but didn't see you anywhere. She thought that you probably would be late. Her eyes finally landed on Wanda. Natasha smirked to herself seeing that her friend left her alone to be with her robo-crush Vision.

The redhead felt someone sitting beside her but didn't bother to look. She continued looking at others and drinking her wine. "How did you end up alone at the party?" She heard the person asking, making her finally turn her head to them.

Bruce was sitting on the stool next to her, looking at her with a smile. She turned her body to face him better. "Certain woman decided to ditch me tonight." She said playfully, making Bruce smile wider and nod slightly.

"I thought so. Wanda and you are always with each other at parties." He said diverting his gaze to the bar top and putting his arm on it.

Natasha hummed, looking in the direction her friend was. "Yeah, she decided to have fun with someone else." She took a sip of her drink again, observing how Wanda laughed at something Vision said. Natasha internally cheered for the brunette.

"Well, uh, I can always keep you company and provide some fun." She heard the man say, making her look back at him with slightly raised eyebrows.

Was he? Was he flirting? Natasha looked at him for a while, examining him to find any hint if he was just being friendly or decided to flirt back after so many times of staying silent at her comments.

"Company is always welcome." She replied. "And can't wait for that fun." She added in a sultry tone with a wink.

They started talking and stayed by each other's sides, but Natasha's eyes kept wandering around the room, looking for something. Or someone. Leaving the bar they stopped near one of the bar tables, continuing their talk there.

The colorful lights turned up and fireworks had gone off, creating different and wonderful shapes on the night sky.

Natasha's eyes were fascinated with the sight and couldn't look away. "It looks beautiful." She said quietly.

"I don't think anything could compare to how beautiful your eyes are." The redhead lowered her head and again stared at Bruce.

This definitely was flirting. There couldn't be any other explanation. "Thank you." She said to him with a smile, before she turned it to a smirk and added. "But I think I have some other and even better assets."

She sipped her drink and watched how the man became flustered. His cheeks got a little bit red and his hand started nervously rub his arm.

"Natalia." She heard someone saying slowly and in a low tone, making her turn around. You were standing dressed in your black suit with a white shirt. Your eyes going all over Natasha. "Wow." You said completely amazed. "I was looking in the mirror thinking I couldn't see anything sexier, and here you are."

Natasha laughed lightly at your comment, putting her drink down, and came up to you. "Well, you don't look bad yourself, L/n." She said patting you in the middle of your chest with a small smirk.

You smiled at her, chuckling. "How long have you been here?" You asked moving with Natasha to stand with Bruce.

"Maybe an hour or two. Where have you been so long?" She replied, looking into your eyes.

You smirked a little. "Why? You missed me?" In her head, she subconsciously answered your question.

But in reality, she tilted her head, raising her hand, and pinched two fingers together. "Just a little." She said squinting her eyes at the small space between her fingertips, making you laugh.

Smile instantly made its way on her face at the sound. "What about you Bruce? Having fun?" You asked the man.

Bruce nodded smiling. "Yes. It's actually not that boring tonight."

"Bruce! Come here!" Tony shouted from somewhere at the man and Bruce sent the both of you an apologetic smile before walking to the billionaire.

A new song came up and Natasha gasped grabbing your hand and dragging you to the dance floor. You were laughing behind her, and when she came to a stop she looked up to your eyes.

"Shut up and dance." She said giggling, you only nodded with a huge smile, doing as she said.

You were moving your bodies in sync. Natasha was putting her hands all over you, at some points turning around and pressing her back to your chest. She felt your hands on her waist all the time.

The redhead swirled in your arms, facing you again and wrapping her arms around your neck. "You really look gorgeous." She smiled at that. "I know you took it as a playful comment, but I wasn't even joking." You told her chuckling at the end. She felt something different at the admission. But she brushed it off and continued dancing with you.

She had a whole night ahead of her, and she wanted to spend it with you. With you she always had fun. And she planned to make your feet hurt, not letting you avoid a single dance.

——

Natasha's laughter filled the kitchen.

She was sitting with Bruce and talking about different things. Mostly missions that something funny happened on.

"It wasn't that bad." Natasha said between her giggles.

Bruce shook his head smiling. "I think it was pretty bad. But the way Thor dropped from that railing was funny, can't lie."

Natasha nodded still in the fit of giggles. Her eyes landed on the clock on a wall. "Okay. I have to go. I have training in an hour."

Bruce nodded smiling and Natasha started walking out of the kitchen.

Since the party, it seemed like Bruce was more confident in talking to Russian. He was making conversations with her. Her suggestive comments still made him stutter and all flustered, but he was talking to her and looking for her company.

Others noticed the difference in man's behavior as well. But didn't try to comment on it.

She had been spending more time with Bruce, but she found herself spending more time with you than before as well. However, the scientist took more of her day than anyone else, always taking a chance of being with her when he saw it.

Natasha liked to spend time with both of you. And although Bruce had some funny jokes, you always made her laugh very easily. And she liked it even more.

Going out of the elevator she headed to the gym where she knew you would be. And she wasn't wrong cause as soon as she opened the door she spotted you near the punching bag, wrapping your hands.

"Hey, hot stuff." She called out gaining your attention. When your eyes found her face, a smile appeared on yours at the same second.

"Hey, Red. What are you doing here?" You asked her, continuing what you were previously doing.

Natasha came up to you. "To train. Isn't it obvious?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

You chuckled at her response and nodded slowly. "But your sexy ass has training in an hour."

She smirked at you and moved closer. "Well, I wanted to come here and show you some of that sexy ass."

You mirrored her smirk, slowing down the wrapping. "In that case, I don't mind at all. But I think the sight would be even better without these shorts of yours." You told her, making her giggle.

Natasha's hands raised to yours, stilling your movements, and started unwrapping the tapes. "I thought we could spar." She said glancing up at you.

The smile didn't leave your face. "So, no show?." You said as she took the tape from your hands and threw it somewhere near the benches while rolling her eyes at you. "Okay. Show later. It's worth the wait anyway." You told her and she shook her head at you, smiling. "Shall we?" You gestured to the mat.

Natasha smirked turning slowly. "We shall."

The both of you had been in the gym for about two hours now. Not taking a break. After some rounds of sparring, that Natasha ended up under you every time, you moved to the pressing bench while Natasha was on a treadmill next to you.

Lifting the weights one last time you secured the bar, before slowly sitting up.

"So, do you have plans for today?" The redhead asked you as she slowed down her run and came to a stop.

You wiped your face with the end of the t-shirt and Natasha's eyes wandered to your abs, taking in the sight. She could look at that for the rest of her life. "Nope. Why?"

Natasha moved away from the treadmill and to you. "We could go grab a coffee or something. If you want." She said to you kind of hesitantly. "You know, spend some time together and maybe~" She trailed off and you raised an eyebrow.

"You mean like a date?" Now she felt a little bit nervous. Why? She never got nervous.

She quickly composed herself and replied. "If you want to, then yes."

Your confused look made her slightly confused as well. "But don't you have something going with Bruce?" This caught her off guard.

Yeah, they had been spending a lot of time together, going out as well. But there wasn't anything serious.

With that thought, she smiled at you. "No. So?"

You smiled back and stood up. "Well then, I'll pick you up at 7?" You asked her and her smile broadened.

"7 it is." She said and before you could walk away she leaned up to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You showed her your toothy grin in response and started leaving the gym. "See you at 7 gorgeous." You called out loudly.

Natasha giggled to herself and started thinking of what to wear for tonight. But it was just a date. And with you. She didn't have to pretend. She didn't have to act like someone who she's not.

Smiling to herself at the thought of her spending tonight with you, she started making her way to her room.

——

Weeks went by. Natasha was spending more time with you than with anyone else. The two of you often found each other in your or her bedroom, laying under the covers and multiple blankets that Natasha insisted on having. Laptop on your lap with some movie playing on it, the redhead always had the privilege of picking what you would occupy your eyes with after you told her that anything she chose, you would gladly accept.

Every time she was curled up to your side with her head on your shoulder and an arm resting over your stomach while you were sitting up slightly with your head leaning on the headboard, one arm wrapped around Natasha and stroking hers, and the other at your side resting on the mattress. You both were content on those nights, sharing kisses here and there, but not going any further.

After that first date went absolutely great, you were going on more dates. To restaurants, talking for hours about your days, and sharing some jokes making the other laugh. She was a little bit shocked but smiled to herself at how you made sure to always open the doors and pull a chair for her.

You went to the carnival, spending hours on different games. The most time you spent at the shooting ones, making deals and taunting each other in the process. It ended with you both having a tie. Natasha felt a warmth spreading in her body when you took your time to win her a teddy bear. It wasn't hard for you to do that, but she found it sweet.

You spent time on cooking breakfast with each other on some days. She wouldn't lie, her mornings were better on those days. Right after that the both of you would go to the gym or sometimes Natasha would have to pass on that to which you just nodded and kissed her on the cheek before walking to get done with training.

Nobody knew about whatever it was between you two. But everything seemed to be going great.

Well, Natasha was doing a lot of things with you. And she was happy doing them. She felt safe, understood, and relaxed. She always smiled at your sight, or even at the thought of you. Her day always got better and the reason for it was you.

But it didn't stop her from keeping a secret from you. And it wasn't something that would make you happy. Surprised? Shocked? Yes. But happy? Definitely doubt it.

But secrets can be kept only for so long and there's always a line nobody should cross. And at some point, everybody loses their patience. Right?

——

Natasha was sitting in the living room, watching a movie with the others except for you. The characters' voices were coming out of the speakers and spreading all over the room. A loud noise was suddenly heard when the scene with an explosion came up startling Sam who jumped in his seat.

Her eyes were entirely focused on the screen, following every movement appearing on it. She wished you were here watching it with her, but she knew that you were helping Maria and probably come later than normal.

She heard footsteps from behind her and looked over her shoulder to see Bruce coming up to where she was sitting with a smile on his face and eyes focused on her. She gave a small smile in return, before getting back to the screen and continuing watching.

The man rounded the couch and took a seat beside her. Not too close, but closer than normal. Natasha didn't react to that, but when she looked to her other side she saw Wanda with a raised eyebrow. The redhead raised hers as well and the other woman flickered her eyes to Bruce, before meeting Nat's eyes again in a silent question.

Natasha mouthed 'later' making Wanda nod and return her attention back to the movie, Natasha doing the same.

As the time was passing, Bruce was getting closer and closer, finally putting his arm over the redhead's shoulders. Nat shifted slightly so her body was pressed more to his and turned to him slightly. Further in the movie, Bruce got so close that there was no space between them and Natasha's head rested on his shoulder.

Hearing a movement, Natasha looked to the side to see Wanda slowly standing up with a cup in her hand. The brunette silently jogged to the Russian and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"You wanna refill?" She asked and pulled her face away to see Nat's face.

The redhead nodded, making a move to stand up. "I'll go with you." She whispered back and started walking to the kitchen with Wanda.

In the corner of her eye, she saw Bruce looking after her and shifting in his place a little.

Reaching the kitchen, Wanda grabbed Nat's cup and started pouring juice. "So you gonna tell me what that was about?" She asked, glancing at her friend over her shoulder.

Natasha shrugged, moving to sit on the kitchen counter next to Wanda. "Just testing waters."

Wanda stopped her actions and looked at the redhead. "Testing waters?" The redhead only nodded. "Aren't you testing waters with Y/n as well?" She asked, trying to understand her friend.

Natasha nodded again. "Yeah, but it's different."

Wanda got confused at that. She didn't know what that 'different' meant, but she didn't want to question the woman in the middle of the movie night.

"Just don't do something you will regret." She said, getting back to refilling the cups.

Natasha shook her head and sighed softly. "Don't worry. Everything is going just fine."

Wanda nodded, putting the juice down and grabbing two cups, before looking at Natasha. "Could you grab the snacks?"

Hopping off the kitchen counter, Natasha nodded at the brunette. "Yeah, you can go. I'll get there soon." Wanda nodded again and started leaving the kitchen.

Natasha went up to the cabinet with different sweets and chips, and other unhealthy but good as fuck food. She was rummaging through multiple things picking the ones she wanted and the ones she knew Wanda liked.

"Need help?" She heard behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Bruce coming her way. "Yeah. You can take some." She said sliding the things in his direction and grabbing more from the shelf.

Bruce didn't touch the snacks, he just walked closer to the redhead. Natasha was still on her tiptoes trying to find more things she would like to eat, when she felt arms around her waist. She stopped her movements and lowered her hands on the kitchen counter.

"Natasha, I know I told you about this, but I hope you know I'm not joking when I say that whatever is between us is something serious for me." He said hugging her closer to his chest. "And that it's not just some momentary crush."

Natasha slowly turned around. She knew he was attracted to her. Hell, for all she knew probably everybody she ever met was. And he had told her many times already. But now it was clear that there was no room for arguing if he really meant it. His voice held determination.

"And all those times when I've said I have feelings for you, it was the truth as well." Her green eyes just stared at him. "And I would like to take this one step forward."

They were just staring at each other for a little while, his hands still on her waist and hers on his upper arms. He started leaning in and in the next second, he pressed his lips to hers. Natasha's eyes closed and her hands went to his neck, cupping it.

It was the first time they kissed. And it was nothing like she imagined. Their lips lingered on each other for a bit longer, before they slowly pulled away.

This kiss was different from all those she shared with you. She couldn't exactly say how different it was and if it was bad or good, but it was just something else. But she wouldn't think about that now. He told her he had feelings for her, she had someone who didn't see her only for her body, at least she hoped so, someone who admitted to feeling something more than just like her.

She smiled at him gently and started picking up the snacks. "We should go back to the others." He only smiled back and wordlessly grabbed the rest of the things before both of them left the kitchen.

Walking to the living room Natasha looked at Wanda and saw her already looking at her, making grabby hands at the snacks. The redhead moved further to the room in the direction of her friend, and when the wall didn't cover the rest of the place anymore she spotted you sitting next to Sam and Carol.

Natasha smiled at the sight of you and moved to Wanda to give her food. As Natasha was doing that you stood up and slowly walked up to her. "We need to talk." You told her.

She looked at you for a second before nodding and you started making your way out of the living room.

"I'll be right back." The redhead told Wanda. She put all the snacks next to the witch, before turning around and walking out after you.

Natasha quickly followed, trying to catch up with you. You were almost at your door, opening it and about to walk through. "Y/n/n." Natasha called out. Your head whipped to the side and Natasha's green met your E/c.

Natasha noticed that you were a little bit more irritated? Or maybe angry? Or sad? Or maybe those three things at once.

She glued her eyes to yours. "Something happe-" She started saying, raising her hand to put it on your shoulder, but you pushed your door open and started walking to your room.

"We need to talk." She heard you say again. She followed you with her eyes, trying to figure out why you were acting like this before she stepped into your room, closing the door behind her.

She observed you for a second and when she came up with nothing she decided to speak. "Y/n, what's going o-" She started saying to be cut off, again.

You abruptly turned around and faced her. "Me or him?" You asked. Your voice was calm but stern.

Natasha's eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. "What?" She didn't know what you were talking about. As clear as it may have seemed, she didn't understand.

You straightened up your posture, looking straight into her eyes. "Me or him?" You asked slowly now.

Natasha kept your gaze for a little longer before she shook her head and closed her eyes for a second. "What? What are you talking about?"

She saw you take a breath and exhale through your nose making your nostrils flare. "Me or Bruce?" The redhead's eyebrows furrowed a little bit more and you noticing it continued. "You know what I'm talking about. I know we had been playing a flirting game for fun, but going on dates is not just flirting anymore."

Natasha nodded at you. "Yeah, I know. And I have a great time on our dates and being with you." If she wanted to say something more, she didn't, because yet again, she didn't have a chance before you spoke up.

"Natasha. Answer my question." Your calmness still was there, but she could see that you were getting irritated with the situation.

She tried to gather her thoughts. "Y/n, this is stupid." Deep down she knew it was not, but she didn't want to do that. So she just ignored it.

You shook your head. "I know you've been going on dates and do the same stuff with him as we've been doing." At this Natasha stiffen in one place, not moving an inch.

"And I didn't say anything, because at first, I thought that you just were hanging out as friends, considering that we were going on dates and you told me that you two didn't have anything going on." Natasha's blood started to slowly drain from her face. "But then I heard Steve talking with Sam. But again, I thought there was an explanation, so I didn't say anything."

She didn't know you knew. How did you even find out? When did you find you? For how long had you known?

"They were just dates, like with you. It didn't mean anything." Natasha stated, going back to her defensive self. She was lying to herself. And she wanted you to disagree. She wanted to hear that it meant something to you.

You only nodded at that and deep inside she felt like something small just stabbed her. "Good to know it didn't mean anything. But I saw you kissing him in the kitchen and I'm done with being quiet." Natasha didn't know why, but she felt something weird in her stomach. She had no clue what it was but she didn't like it. "So choose. Me or him?"

Natasha swallowed a little. "What is there to choose? And you can't just come home and question me about it." The redhead said defensively, throwing her hand in the air.

She saw how your jaw clenched the tiniest little bit. "No?"

"No." She answered and crossed her arms over her chest.

You nodded and scrunched your face looking at the floor, before meeting her eyes again. "I don't care. It's not fair that you've been doing that with both of us-" This time you were cut off by Natasha.

She scoffed annoyed. "Yeah, well, I already told you they were just dates, nothing more." She didn't care what was about to be said. She was starting to get angry and too defensive. She felt like she was losing control, like she didn't know what to do and what to say. And she always knew.

"It's not fucking fair that you play us. Doing these things and act like nothing is happening. Like you don't date two people at the same time." You told her this time more sternly and raising your voice. Irritation slipping to it. "It's either me or him. I'm not gonna be a part of this any longer. You want him, I will get out of the picture. No problem." Voice getting louder and louder. "So choose."

"I'm not gonna choose shit, cause there's nothing to choose." She shouted back at you, uncrossing her arms and throwing them in the air, before letting them fall to her sides.

Your nostrils flared again and your jaw clenched tighter. "It's not fucking fair to me or Bruce. How can you think it's okay? It's not. So choose, me or him." Your loud voice rang throughout the room.

The words left Natasha's mouth in anger and irritation before she even thought about it. "Well, I'd rather be with him than you." She shouted at you. She felt like she made the right decision. Bruce told her he had feelings for her and had been taking whatever it was between them seriously. Unlike you, you never said anything about how you felt.

She saw your jaw relax and calm down. "I'm glad you finally gave me the answer. I will not be getting in between you two any longer." You told her with the same tone as when you started this 'conversation'. Completely calm.

Then you walked past Natasha and left the room, leaving the redhead alone. She was staring outside the window thinking about what happened. But she was convinced her choice was the right one and the one she wanted.

——

Voices were heard all around the room. One shouting over the other, trying to make the person shut up with their arguments. Laughter was bouncing off the walls. Almost the whole team was in the kitchen, having something to eat or drink with Pietro and Sam arguing about everything and nothing, entertaining the others.

A cup of hot coffee rested between small cold hands. Eyes focused on the middle of the countertop, mind full of thoughts.

Natasha was in her own little world, replaying the talk she had with you a couple of weeks ago. And thinking about its consequences.

At first, changes weren't that much noticeable. You just stopped the flirting. Not even one suggestive comment left your mouth in Natasha's direction. Not one word, gesture. Completely nothing.

It made others a little bit confused that you two didn't fall into your playful thing for so long, but they were relieved, especially Steve, that their ears could finally rest from your dirty words.

You were acting just like a friend. Exchange some words here and there, mostly speaking to Natasha when you had to, it was rare that you would start a conversation with the redheaded woman.

Natasha knew you were doing what you said you would do. Keeping your distance and not trying to break her and Bruce's 'relationship'.

Talking about that. The pair still didn't make anything official. Natasha was very hesitant about that and told the man that she wanted to have a little bit more time to think about it. So they stuck to the simple things like before.

However, they were spending more time with each other. Mostly watching some movies and cuddling. Some kisses were shared when nobody was looking. Natasha felt fine. She felt content, having someone who paid so much attention to her. Who was reminding her how much they cared for her and how their feelings were always there.

But Natasha couldn't help but think tha-

"You okay?" A voice from beside her asked, stopping her thoughts and she turned her head to be met with Bruce who was sitting beside her.

She smiled slightly and gave a short nod. "Yeah. Everything's fine." She lied, not wanting to talk about something she couldn't figure out.

Bruce smiled back and put his hand on her leg, getting back to the conversation that was happening around the two. Natasha just let her eyes fell on her coffee and sighed to herself.

The sound of feet hitting the floor got closer to the kitchen. "Morning everyone." Natasha heard your voice and looked up while everyone greeted you back.

You were sweating. Your navy-blue t-shirt was clinging to your body with a sweat stain at the top of it. Your hair was a little bit wet as well and some of it was stuck to your forehead. Opening the fridge you took out a water bottle and started drinking. Natasha didn't take her eyes off of you.

"Y/n/n, if there was a zombie apocalypse." Sam started and you nodded, drinking your water.

"Who would have more chances to survive? Me or Sam?" Pietro asked ending Sam's sentence.

Everyone stayed silent, waiting for your response to something the two were arguing about for the last 20 minutes or so.

"Both of you would survive." You replied right away. Two men looked at each other and high-fived smiling. "Cause you're both too stupid to even attract a zombie." You added, not missing a beat and a loud snort was heard in the kitchen.

Sam and Pietro's smiles immediately vanished. They were looking at you like you just hurt their puppy. A shrug was your only reply to their staring.

"I felt that it wasn't everything." Bucky said coming up to you and giving you a high-five. "Do you wanna go to the bar with me?"

Natasha saw you shook your head. "No. I have something planned today. But definitely tomorrow." Bucky smiled at you and you patted his shoulder then looked at everyone. "I need to go now, so later." You said walking out of the kitchen.

Natasha's eyebrows furrowed a little bit. You said you had something planned? But what? And where? With someone else? Shooking her head she decided that it was probably nothing important and got back to drinking her coffee.

——

The days were passing by rather quickly than not. Everybody could take a breather for a long time now. There weren't any missions in the near future, giving the whole team a chance to spend their time how they wanted and where they wanted.

Probably a couple of weeks just disappeared from everyone's lives by now, but Natasha couldn't care less about counting the time.

On what she was counting was that you would be spending more time at the compound. Your lack of presence was noticed by the redhead, and she couldn't help but think about what you said the last time. Maybe it wasn't 'nothing' after all.

Focusing on the movie she got out of her head and tried not to think about you and your escapades right now.

Bruce was sitting next to her on the couch with an arm around her shoulders and the redhead pressed to his side, leaving no room between them.

The movie was playing, the man and his wife were slowly walking down the stairs to the basement after hearing strange noises. Horror movies were something Natasha really liked. Sometimes they were boring, but nothing is perfect.

As the two people opened the door and walked to the room the horrendous face jumped out, causing the characters to scream. And Bruce to jump in his seat.

Natasha glanced at the man who looked like he was about to have a panic attack. His eyes were closed as he was calming down his breathing.

She could only think how you would snort at the movie's and its characters' stupidness. The comments you made every time she was watching something with you always made it better.

She sighed to herself at the thought, when a cool air came from somewhere causing her to shiver. Bruce seemed to notice and hugged her closer. But it didn't help.

And Natasha couldn't stop her mind from wandering to you.

How your body didn't even have to be pressed tightly with hers and she still felt the warmth of it, increasing her own, making all the cold go away. It always made her melt. Made her feel hot. Not that she wasn't hot or something, don't get me wrong. But it was a different kind of hot. The kind that was inside her, spreading everywhere, reaching the smallest parts of her, warming them even on the coldest days when she felt like freezing.

And your touch. How your hand could only brush against hers. How your fingers were dancing on her arm and going up to her red hair, gently stroking it and massaging her scalp. How she would feel relaxed under the feeling of your fingertips.

Or your eyes. When she looked up at you. How they were shining brighter than the sun, lighting up even her darkest day. How they would focus on her green ones, staying in place as if you wanted to look into her soul. How you would smile at her with them.

With your other smile playing on your lips. The same lips she wanted to kiss so bad. The lips that were so soft that it felt like they were made of the feather. Same ones that she always wanted more of when they met with hers. Feeling like she was kissing heaven.

She couldn't stop thinking about how your arms went around her, keeping her close to you, not letting go and playfully tickle her neck making her squirm. But she wouldn't want to leave your hold. Your arms made her feel safe. Made her feel like nothing could get her when being in your embrace. Her safe place.

She couldn't help but think how Bruce and anything he had done couldn't ever compare to you and what you had done.

And you didn't even have to try. While he was trying his hardest.

How she felt empty without you.

She was brought out of her thoughts when loud voices were heard in the hallway and getting closer. She separated herself from Bruce and second later Pietro, Wanda, Sam, Thor, Steve, and you entered the living room.

Everyone was talking about something but Natasha couldn't hear until all of you got to the couches.

"Are we going to play tonight? We need to get through that level someday." Sam said looking at you.

You shook your head. "Not tonight. But we definitely have to." Natasha's eyebrows furrowed at your words. Were you going somewhere again?

Sam groaned and the rest chuckled at him. "Come on, what's so important that you can't stay?" Natasha would like to know as well.

"Something." Then you looked at your watch. "I need to go now. Need to do something." You said looking up again.

Natasha noticed Pietro's smirk, making her squint her eyes in question. Did he know anything? "Something? Or more like someone?" Pietro asked. Your head turned to him.

You smiled at him a little. "You better run if you want to live, Speedy." You told him pointing a finger at him.

He only laughed and shook his head. As you were telling your goodbye and walking out, Natasha had one question in her head. Someone? You were seeing someone?

Wanda and Steve looked at Pietro with questioning and confused looks. "What was that comment about?" The brunette asked her brother.

Pietro chuckled, taking a seat on the couch. "You people are so blind." This only earned him more confused looks. He sighed exasperatedly. "Y/n is going on a date with Carol. Just like they have been for the last three weeks."

Natasha froze. Everything that others started saying was completely tuned out. She could only see their mouths moving. Her mind went blank for a second, before she calmly stood up and walked out of the living room. Nobody even noticed. They were too fascinated with you and Carol dating.

The redhead quickly got to her room. Door slamming behind her and back pressed to it. Thoughts were flooding back to her mind. Thoughts of you with Carol. Of her conversation with you. Of what she had said and how she had screamed she preferred Bruce to you.

She took a shaky breath, her hands shaking as well. Her head fell back hitting the wood. Eyes bunched closed, trying to keep herself together.

Just now she ran through every moment she was with you, how her heart always sped up at the smallest thing you did. How your smile or laugh made her do the same.

How she fucked up.

How stupid she was when she made this decision guided by the irritation that was swirling in her and mind that was clouded with reasons that didn't even make sense to her now.

Her chest felt heavier and it seemed like it was harder to take breaths with every thought that entered her mind.

She couldn't believe how she ruined everything. She could have it all. Have you. And now she didn't.

Her body started to shake, tears trailing down her cheeks, as she tried not to let a cry leave her mouth.

Hands on her face, fingers tightly pressed to her eyes. Even her attempts at stopping herself didn't help. Sobs started spilling out of her mouth as more tears fell from her green orbs.

She was calming herself down as best as she could. And when she managed to do it after a while she knew she couldn't do it any longer. She couldn't be with someone she didn't have feelings for. Someone who she chose because of his words.

She had to end it. Even if it meant she would be alone. She couldn't lie to herself anymore.

——

It was a few days later. Natasha ended with Bruce whatever it was between them and felt somehow relieved. But the empty feeling was still there. At least now she knew why.

Party was in full swing. An uncountable number of people was scattered around the entire room in the Avengers Compound. Bottles of alcohol were almost flying from one end of the bar to the other one while people who were sitting on the stools and leaning on the bar top were waiting for their drinks, making small talk here and there with friends and strangers expanding their social circles.

The place was lit up with multiple colorful lights that reached every one of the corners, causing all shadows to completely disappear. There were groups everywhere, either laughing at jokes they were sharing between them or talking about business, work, and life in general.

Almost everybody had someone to be with. There was barely a soul who didn't have anyone for company. Arms looped with each other, hands holding onto them pressing bodies to one another, leaving practically no room between. All this closeness in the room, this feeling like nobody was alone. Like nobody could be alone around so many people.

Yet, Natasha was sitting on the barstool with a glass of her favorite red wine filled to the brim. One arm resting with the length of the bar top while the other was propped on her elbow. Bent wrist, making her hand hang and allow her pointing finger to slowly circle the top of her glass. Eyes dancing from her movements to the other side of the room.

Million thoughts plaguing her mind, making her remember her words. Making her remember what she had felt for the last couple of months.

Her eyes moved from the drink to the other end of the party. The place where you were. Her eyes stayed on you and couldn't help but let the hurt flash in their green.

You were standing with Sam and Thor fascinated with whatever you were talking about. You were smiling brightly at the two, but every time you looked down at the face of the person standing next to you, your smile broadened more but became soft.

Your eyes were giving Carol their whole attention, not daring to look away. They were looking at the brown that kept you captivated. With so many emotions.

Natasha had been observing you and the blonde since the party started. How her arm was resting over your back and yours over her shoulders, making her press herself closer to your side with her head on your shoulder.

Sometimes she raised her head when she playfully argued with two men that were standing with you two. Her hand lifted and her finger pointing at them in a joking manner. But her other arm stayed around you at all times. Her body didn't even try to move away from yours. And you only pulled her closer, making her hand lower and wrap around your waist hugging herself to you more.

Natasha couldn't stand it. Her mind went back to a couple of months ago when your eyes were looking like that but into her green ones. How the smile you had plastered on your face was only for her. And how she was the one you held like that. Like she was your everything and you didn't want to let go.

Some people are in a relationship and feel lonely, even though they have the other person right next to them.

Natasha felt like she was surrounded by your presence, still feeling the familiar feeling of you being beside her when in reality you were far away and not even hers.

"What happened." The redhead heard faintly some feminine voice say. But her attention still was somewhere else.

Two women were sitting on the barstools next to Russian. "He told me to choose." The words made Natasha shook her out of her thoughts and turn to the bar shelves, keeping her eyes on her drink. "Said he couldn't keep doing this. That he knew it was hard, but it was not fair for either of them."

Natasha felt like her conversation with you just replayed in her head. The memory of you saying those words came to the front of her mind.

"He was right, Amy." The woman sitting next to Natasha said. "I love you and you know that, but he was right."

The woman called Amy sighed and Natasha saw her nod slightly. "I know, Jess. I just wasn't expecting him to do it that day." Natasha couldn't help but let her mind go back to you again. How you caught her off guard with the same thing.

The sound of clinking glasses rang throughout the whole bar section. But Natasha's ears didn't lose their focus from the talk even for a second.

"What did you do?" The other female asked with curiosity.

The air leaving Amy's mouth was clearly audible. "I chose."

"Who?" Her friend asked again. This time it was quieter. Not laced with curiosity, but with gentleness. Natasha could only imagine how her eyes were probably filled with the same thing.

The long pause hung in the air. The redhead wasn't the part of the conversation, but she was impatiently waiting for the answer just as the woman's friend was.

In the corner of her eye, Natasha saw a small but bright smile slowly creeping on Amy's face while she was looking down at the drink in her hand.

The woman raised her head to meet the eyes of her friend, widening her smile. A sincere one, full of happiness and sweetness. Full of thoughts about the person she chose. "The one I love." She said in such a soft tone that the hardest stone could crack, the highest iceberg could melt, every heart could swoon.

But Natasha's heart only tightened, like it tried to suffocate itself. Her gaze fell on you again, focusing on your huge smile that covered half of your face, how your eyes sparkled so much that she could see it even when being so far away from you. How your body shook when you let out a laugh.

Woman's words were quietly echoing in the redhead's head while her eyes were glued to you. Following every little movement, taking in every little detail to imprint it in her mind.

She wanted someone to make her feel like she was their world. She wanted to prove that the sick ideas the Red Room tried to make her believe weren't true so bad that she didn't even stop to think about what she was doing. She saw her chance in Bruce. She had been doing the same things with him as she had been doing with you.

But doing them with you always left the warm feeling inside her that spread all over her body, making her feel like the world just filled with new brighter colors. And even though doing them with Bruce didn't have any effect on her she still chose him.

Because he openly told her how he felt about her. That he was serious about what was going on between them and it was not something he would let go of with the passing time.

So she chose him.

Because you never said anything about your feelings or how deep they were. Because you never verbally expressed them. Because you never gave her a word that could tell her it was not just a temporary thing for you. And she didn't want to go into something uncertain. She didn't want to do that when she had someone who told her every little thing they felt towards her.

If only she voiced her insecurities, asked the question that was running through her mind over and over again. She would get the answer. She would find out that she meant to you more than anything.

She wanted to be loved. But she wanted to be loved by someone who was loved by her. And when she finally admitted to herself where her heart really belonged, she was too late.

Because she chose him.

But her heart chose you.

That kiss she shared with Bruce in the kitchen wasn't the same as yours, because she didn't feel anything for him. It didn't leave her with heart fluttering and dazed like your kisses because she didn't love him.

And because of one wrong choice, she lost her chance. Her chance of being truly happy, of having that what she always dreamt about.

Her fears made her do one thing she never wanted to do and would always regret. It was the worst decision in her life that would haunt her forever.

Letting you go.