Chapter 24: Mental torture

WARNING: This chapter mentions some pretty dark and very sensitive topics. Again if you're not an adult please take this into consideration before reading.

Thank you

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"I don't know what to be more shocked by. The fact that he knocked out 16 villains by himself when he'd been starved and dehydrated for days not to mention beaten. Or the fact that the first thing he was worried about when he was fully awake was how many of them had been arrested. Like talk about being dedicated to the job but that's on another level!" Ashido said.

"Ashido please it was clearly very traumatic for him and for Uraraka" Yaoyorozu said warning her to be more thoughtful about what the experience had done to them.

"Oh yeah you're right. Sorry Uraraka" she said apologising to her friend.

"No you're right I thought the same thing. He hasn't been the same since he woke up. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he did it's a miracle he woke up as soon as he did and I'm glad he's already back at UA even if he is in a wheelchair at the minute but whatever they did to him clearly messed him up. He seems more on edge and he's been really protective of me since he woke up" Uraraka explained to the girls.

"Give him a break he was a hostage for 3 days. There's no telling what they did to him of course he'd be on edge" Jiro said trying to reassure her friend.

"Yeah you're right. I don't know I just keep thinking what if the torture wasn't physical? What if it was mental?" she questioned.

"What do you mean?" Asui asked.

"Well they said most of his injuries probably happened during his escape because if they'd happened before that he would've been dead long before then. Apparently the worst they probably did was a beating or two and thinking about it if they were going to give him to the league of villains they'd keep him in pretty good shape right? The leader of the league seems to really hate Deku so they probably didn't do any serious harm to him so that Shigaraki could do whatever he wanted when they handed him over. They probably thought that if they brought Deku to him half dead he'd be pissed with them for ruining his fun or something" Uraraka explained.

"Yeah I guess that makes sense but are you sure you're not just being paranoid?" Yaoyorozu asked.

"No I don't think I am. They managed to recover some surveillance footage from the warehouse. They got the whole fight on film. Deku was angry. The way he was fighting was different. He didn't just want to beat them he wanted to make sure he hurt them too. It looked like he just went into a rage and wasn't thinking about what he was doing he was just relentlessly went from villain to villain attacking them and landing blow after blow. He didn't even try to dodge their attacks he just let them land their hits that's why his injuries were so bad. The whole thing was impressive to watch him take down 16 villains all by himself but more than anything it scared me. That wasn't Deku. That was someone much darker. They did something to him" Uraraka explained yet again worried that the boy that had returned to UA wasn't the same light hearted boy that had left for a simple mission a few weeks ago.

"Ok if you're really worried we'll all keep an eye on him. Although I have to say he still seems like the same guy just more on edge" Yaoyorozu said.

"I agree in hindsight he doesn't seem any different he just seems really tense which is completely normal after going through that but I know what I saw on that tape and I didn't like it" Uraraka said her voice trembling a little.

"Talk to him. See what you can find out" Ashido suggested.

"What if he doesn't want to it was a pretty traumatic experience" Uraraka said.

"Then you make him open up to you. I don't know what it is that you do but he seems to find talking to you really easy" Ashido said.

"Oh I don't know maybe because I'm his girlfriend and we love each other?" Uraraka said sarcastically.

"No that's not it it's something else" Ashido replied after thinking about it for a second.

Oh my god she's being serious isn't she?

"Look just talk to him Uraraka ok? If something happened he'll talk to you" Yaoyorozu said putting a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"Ok I'll do it"

*The following day in Deku's room*

I have to find them. Every last one of them. They're out there somewhere. I have to stop them before they... before they...

"Hey Deku are you watching the movie or what?" Uraraka asked noticing he was spacing out.

"Oh um yeah of course" he lied. She frowned at him before turning the TV off and sitting up to face him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing" he lied again.

"Deku please talk to me" she begged.

"Ochako nothing is wrong I promise" he continued to lie.

"Deku. Stop lying to me" she said her expression stern and hurt. Suddenly he felt very guilty knowing he'd been lying to her for a couple of weeks. He'd been discharged from hospital a couple of days ago but he hadn't told anyone the truth about what they'd done to him when he was their hostage.

"Deku. Look at me" she said softly. He looked up into her eyes to see the worry in them.

There's no way out of this is there? I'm gonna have to tell her.

"What's going on with you you haven't been the same since you woke up" she said worried about him.

"I'm not getting out of this one am I?" he asked.

"No you're not" she said taking his hand.

"They tortured me Ochako" Deku said looking away. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Mentally or physically?" she asked.

"Mentally" he replied.

"Ok. What did they do to you?" she asked holding his hand now to provide him with some comfort.

"They...they..." Deku couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Hey I'm right here Deku. It's ok nobody is going to hurt you" she said trying to calm him down.

It's not me I'm worried about.

"...I don't know if it was a quirk or whether they'd produced it but there was a gas in the room almost all the time. The only time it wasn't was when they ate or they were bored of torturing me for the day" he explained.

"Ok. What did the gas do?" she asked.

"It made me see things... horrible... horrific things..." he said his voice trembling and trailing off not wanting to give her specifics.

"So it made you hallucinate? she asked. He just nodded.

"I tried to close my eyes so I wouldn't have to see it... but then I'd hear screams and voices begging me to help them...one of them would usually make me look anyway so I had to watch..." he was struggling to get this out but he knew it was better to tell her than to keep it quiet and make things worse for himself.

"What did you see Deku?" she asked.

"I saw...I saw... All Might...being killed in the most gruesome ways... I saw Shigaraki kill me over and over again... I saw my mom being tortured and killed over and over..." he stopped dreading the next part.

"It's ok Deku keep going" she encouraged him.

It's not ok at all.

"I saw you" he said tears forming in his eyes.

"Ok. Tell me what you saw specifically Deku" she said surprisingly not phased one bit.

"I saw you being beaten...being stabbed...sliced up...burnt alive... tortured...all kinds of horrifying things...on the night I escaped I thought I was handling it well doing my best to convince myself it wasn't real...that's when I saw you...I saw you...you were....you were being...raped...that's what I saw Ochako...it was the final straw. I snapped. I just saw red and felt this rage burning inside me. When I calmed down I was free of my restraints and they were all unconcious. I was bleeding heavily and half my vision was gone. My legs were completely destroyed from using my quirk as well" he began to sob ashamed of what he'd done and worried about how Uraraka was going to take it. To his surprise he felt her hand on his face as she turned his towards her own. She was crying too but she kissed him passionately before pulling back after a few moments.

"Deku. That's awful. I'm sorry you went through that. I'm sorry you saw such terrible things but you need to know that it wasn't real. None of it was. I need you to know that. Nothing you saw actually happened. Nobody has laid a finger on me. Your mom is perfectly fine and safe at home. All Might is still alive and well too. All of us are perfectly ok. The only thing causing me pain at the minute is seeing you like this but that'll pass you should be fully recovered soon" she said through tears trying to convince him that everything he'd seen was fake and just to mess with his head.

"I know it wasn't real but it felt it. Every last bit of it felt real" he said crying himself.

"Deku. Listen to my voice. I want you to repeat after me ok? It wasn't real" she said.

"It wasn't real" he did as she said.

"It wasn't real" she said again.

"It wasn't real" he copied her once again.

"It wasn't real"

"It wasn't real"

"It wasn't real"

"It wasn't real" they continued this for several minutes until eventually Deku calmed down.

"Feel better?" she asked wiping her tears from her eyes.

"Yeah. Tons. Thank you" he said smiling at her.

It wasn't real.

He believed it. For the first time since he woke up he actually believed it wasn't real. He knew it was fake. All thanks to Uraraka sitting her with him and getting him to repeat it to himself out loud until he actually believed it himself.

"Good. You're welcome. I should probably head back to my room huh?" she said getting up to leave.

"No!" Deku almost shouted it. She stopped in her tracks turning to look at him in confusion.

"Deku?" she asked.

"Sorry I didn't mean to raise my voice at you. I was just wondering if you'd maybe like to stay here with me tonight?" he asked shyly. She smiled at him.

"I'd be happy to Deku" she said jumping back into bed with him and cuddling up to his warm body.

Well she's helped me fix one thing. Now I've just gotta figure out how to fix the other problem...