Chapter 5

His name was Matt...

I barely took any notice of him as I sat in the same spot I had sat in Detention for the last week.

Every day, after school.

My head would just lean on my hand, as my eyes would drift to the world outside the window I was sitting next to.

So I took no notice of Matt... until he spoke.

And when he spoke to me for the first time... to be honest, I barely listened.

"Sucks..." He just said. He was sitting at the desk to the side of me. The teacher made him sit there, I guess he wanted to be able to see the two of us at the same time when he looked our way.

When his head wasn't stuffed in the newspaper.

I didn't reply back straight away, and Matt gazed at me slowly, before back at his own hands. His hands that seemed to have a little of a nervous shake to them.

"Yeah..." I finally said, when I was sure his gaze had finally left me for good.

"Why are you here..?" He asked weakly, and I gave a small cough, clearing my throat to indicate to him that the teacher was right there in front of us.

"Okay..." He said back, a small nervous shy blush coming weakly to his cheeks. This was new to me. I never saw guys blush.

At least, never around me.

"Playing hooky..." I finally said back to him, and he giggled a little at this answer.

We both froze up though the second the teacher shook his paper hard, indicating he was still there.

Still present.

"I'm Matt," Matt said, and I finally glanced over to look at him properly.

He had messy black hair, and a lot of it too. It wasn't long, but it also wasn't super short.

It just fitted him... if that makes sense.

He smiled weakly at me, and I said back quietly.

"Anna..."

"Nice to meet you..." He said with a soft calm voice and reached out his timid hand to me.

My heart for some reason sped right up at that moment, and I looked down at his hand, then up at his nervous shy eyes, and I took his hand, shaking it back barely.

"Why are you here?" I asked him back finally and he gave a small nervous chuckle.

"Oh... murder..."

My eyes went wide and he only laughed weakly at me.

"No... I've not been finishing my homework."

"Oh... okay," I replied back to him, and he nodded his head the littlest amount possible. But I could still tell the gesture and what it meant.

"Well..." I said now, and turned my eyes back to my hands that are now nervously on my desk, "Nice to meet you..."

"You too, I guess..." He says with a small friendly shrug of his shoulders, and I smile awkwardly back at him before I force my gaze to keep at the window. I can feel my cheeks heating up and I don't want to talk to him anymore...

But that sadly wouldn't happen.

~x~

Who was that you were talking to today?

Marnie asked me this as the three of us, her, me and Emily walked around the city park.

"Who?" I asked... I couldn't remember talking to anyone at that moment.

"You know who," Emily pressed and my cheeks went red in shyness, "Matt..."

"That's his name?" I replied, smirking as I shrugged my shoulders – the same way Matt had, "I completely forgot."

~x~

I did NOT completely forget him as the next day was a Friday and I only had one week left of detention after it.

"Hey again..."

I smiled... if you could call it one. My lips barely moved, but it was definitely in an upward action so it would be considered a smile, or a smirk at the least.

"Hey, Matt..." I said back to him.

"Anna..?" He says then and I glance a look at him as he's sitting on the desk beside mine again.

"Yeah..?"

"We should hang out sometime,"

"We... are hanging out?" I replied back confused, and he only chuckles nervously, brushing his bangs away from his dark eyes... and it was then I got a good look at him.

He had a tender expression, a calm soft face... young looking... even though I knew he had hit puberty.

"Well..?" He asks me, sounding the least threatening anyone ever could sound.

"But..?" I reply back, still confused, "What are we doing right here?"

"I don't think this is 'exactly' hanging out... how about AFTER detention?"

I gulp in panic, my fingers gripping the sides of my desk.

I want to be brave... but this guy... this KID... he was asking too much of me... I didn't really know him at all.

"I understand,"

I blink my eyes suddenly, puzzled by his reply.

"Okay..." I utter out in nearly a whisper and his eyes light up a little when I say this.

"Okay," He says back and smiles at me... a sincere kind smile and I know now that this boy isn't dangerous...

He was like me, if that makes any sense? And he'd make more sense to me in the coming days.

~x~

When detention was over for that day, I didn't find Marnie or Emily waiting for me.

I looked and looked around for them but they were nowhere to be seen.

"Who are you looking for?" Matt asked me nervously and I finally placed my eyes back on him, as I laughed nervously myself and replied.

"Just... my friends..."

"You have friends?" He asked, and I'm shocked to hear him say this. I get the sudden urge to storm away but he jumps in front of me instantly, waving his hands around as he begs, "I didn't mean it in that way! I... I don't have any friends really, either..."

"Yes, okay." I say to him, looking him right in his eyes now, and I can't believe the words coming out of my mouth as I claim, "But I ACTUALLY DO have friends... they're just not here right now, okay?"

"Okay," He answers and I repeat myself again.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay..."

I smile, a little triumphant as if I had won the argument or something.

Matt smiles nervously at me, coming to my side and the two of us walk in silence for a few minutes till he breaks it with words.

"I love art, drawing... I really do,"

I raise an eyebrow when he says this, and I utter back shyly.

"Me too,"

"I know," He replies, smiling wider now as he looks at me and there's a twinkle in his eyes, "I see your work on the wall in the art room sometimes." He blinks his eyes shut weakly, before continuing in an admiring voice, "You're my muse,"

"I'm your WHAT?!" I squeak and he blinks open his eyes again, looking at my shocked worried face and he laughs awkwardly as he explains, the worst way possible, mind you.

"I mean, YOUR WORK! It makes me want to get better!"

"Oh..." I weakly peep, and suddenly give him a giant real smile. He dashes his eyes quickly to the ground and I giggle weakly at this and say to him softly in return, "I... I'm not really that good..."

"Don't be humble," He utters on fast, his eyes dashing to look at me again before back to the ground. His hands are scrunching together, not able to keep still and I can see he's really nervous.

Like me.

Funny...

"Can I see... one of your pieces?" I asked him weakly. I am actually curious to see what his art looks like, and he blushes even harder before nodding his head quickly and pulling out his mobile phone.

"Yeah... here," He says, and presses the gallery app on his device, showing me some of his work.

And it... it looks really good...

"Wow... that's impressive," I barely say, a slight bit of jealousy in me now and he only shakes his head as he continues.

"It's digital... so not as much work... but your stuff... really, like wow."

The jealousy disappears as quickly as it had come.

I blink my eyes up and they catch his stare and we lock eyes for more than three seconds, before forcing our heads the opposite ways so that the shy energy between us cannot amplify.

But when I had been in that locked gaze with him for those few seconds... it was like... there was a connection.

There had been something, and that couldn't be... because all my life, it had always been nothing with boys my own age.

No one ever noticed me... I think even when I looked at myself in my reflection... there was nothing there.

I was a nobody.

I was nothing.

"Anna..?" I hear him say shyly and I have tears welling in my eyes but I force myself to look at him again and I smile hard.

"Yes, Matt..?"

"It was lovely talking to you," He says to me, and his eyes are so kind. Not a speck of meanness in them.

"Oh, thanks..." I reply, smiling at him and he smiles at me again.

He lifts up his hand, making me guess he was departing from me now and I hold my own hand up to shake his.

But instead of shaking my hand, he holds it in his and lifts it to his lips, kissing the back of my hand with one small soft peck, and my heart speeds up so fast, until he releases me gently and says to me with such warmth, he felt like a fire in winter warming up my soul.

"I'll see you on Monday..?"

"Where?" I asked back dumbly and he only laughed gently before adding.

"In Detention... I thought?"

"You did..." I reply back, my body nearly oozing like jelly as he nods at me once more before waving goodbye.

"Goodbye, Anna," He calls to me and I feel like I'm melting a little bit.

"Goodbye, Matt."

~x~

"So, you made a friend?" My therapist asked me at my second session and I went red in the cheeks at the mention of that word.

"Yeah... I guess..." I say back to her and imagine Matt's face in my head. And his smile... he had the most loveliest of smiles.

"And that same week... you didn't see your ghost friends that much?"

"I-I mean..." I go on quickly, shy to having to answer to this question, "I've been too busy..."

"With Matt..?"

"Yeah..." I say back to her weakly, my fingers scrunching together the way I had seen Matt's do. The two of us were so alike... yet...

So alike...

"I think you should spend some more time with this 'Matt',"

I jumped a little in fright when she mentioned this to me, and I quickly shook my head, mortified at such an idea.

"M-me?! And M-Matt?!"

"As friends, of course..." She says back to me calmly, not understanding my fear or fright at such an idea.

"But..." I whisper to myself now as Marnie and Emily come to my mind, "...I already have friends..." I whisper this out so quietly I don't think my therapist hears me.

"Anna..?"

~x~

"Anna?" He asked me on that Monday when the two of us took our spots in the detention room.

"Yeah, Matt..?" I uttered back at him, too afraid and scared to look him in the eyes.

"Do you want to hang out... after-"

"After detention..?" I barely interrupt him and he smiles at me. I look his way and I see a happy eagerness in his eyes.

Eyes that are fascinated by me, and I swallow hard.

I nearly choke.

"Okay..." I force out the word and he smiles at me, so much kindness and gentleness in his face.

He's not like other boys that I know... and that worries me, because...

I wasn't like other girls...

Either he was the alien here or I was.

But I didn't care for that moment, as I finally smiled back at him... the biggest gleam I have ever made.

"Okay then.." He says back.

And if I only knew how I would feel about him at the end of this week... I don't think I would've ever 'hung' out with him... because...

I had started to have feelings for this kind gentle boy.

And that hurt me...

Because I was seeing less and less of Emily... of Marnie...

Living more in the real world than in the ghost world.

And this would all come together in a huge catastrophe.

As I was soon to learn.

I couldn't have both...

And it all started with this boy, Matt.

I was going to taste love.

And that would nearly destroy me.