26

The sign of Darry come's back into view welcome the teen's back into their home town, driving down the road they eye's scanning across the street seeing the familiar people and building they are used to see everyday.. "Am I the only one that wished this place magically disappeared while we were gone?" Stanley let's out a sigh keeping his eyes forward on the road his brows furrowed "Nope" Richie sighs popping his P louder his arms crossed over his chest watching the town outside.. shit he hated this place.. His eye's land on Eddie seeing the nervous look on his face as he stared down at the watch on his wrist, he had to see his mother again through the whole trip he didn't even think about this moment the moment he had to face and live under the same roof as his mother again. It was like knowing you were about to be entering hell.. 

The group starts to drop each off one by one, Stanley being the first the six of them climbing out watching him grab his stuff and walk towards the front door of his house before he turns around giving them a way "Bye losers, see you later!" He says before disappearing into the house. Ben was the next to be dropped off repeating the same thing, then it was Bill and before Eddie knew it the van was parked in front of his house.. When everyone get's out of the van watching as he grabs his stuff Richie speaks up "I don't think your mom is home Ed's" 

When he hears his words he peaks over at the driveway seeing that Richie was right, there was no car parked there meaning his mother had gone into town to do something also meaning that Eddie would have the house to himself for a bit. After throwing his bag onto his shoulder he gives a smile to the group starting to walk up his driveway, Richie look's between him and the group a sudden feeling of panic settling into his stomach almost feeling like he could throw up "Do something idiot"

"You guy's go without me" He says making Bev and Mike give him a confused look, suddenly it hit's Beverly. She fights the gasp she wants to let out knowing it would just make Mike even more confused so instead she gives Richie a supportive smile "Alright, call me later okay?"

"Will do" Richie gives a nod watching the two climbs back into the van Beverly giving him a quick wink before they leave, he waits until they turn onto the next road leaving Richie alone.. Eddie had just gotten inside dropping his bag on the end of the stairs with a huff, he look's around the fact that he was really back in his house settling in making his stomach turn.. There was to much in his head right now all he wanted to do was crash and some how make his brain shut off, he walk's into the kitchen going to grab himself a glass of water now that everything was quiet it felt like his thoughts were on full blast.. He had officially decided he couldn't be gay that just wasnt him right? He was just spending to much time with Richie but now that he was home they wouldn't be spending every waking hour with each other these feelings will go away. 

He brings the glass up to his lips taking a sip of the water before a few knocks land on his door making him look over confused but when no voice comes from behind it he places the glass down then walks over with a sigh, pulling the door open he looks at the glasses wearing teen in front of him confused "Richie? What are you doing here?" He ask pulling the door fully open. Richie stood there nervously staring at the boy in front of him that vomiting feeling becoming much worse the second he pulled open that door the words he wanted to say suddenly stuck in his throat making him just stand there. "Rich? You gonna say anything or just stand there?" 

All these year's of friendship, the friendship that Richie wished he could change hung in front of him he could just leave and keep everything the way it was.. But he couldn't lie to himself anymore being with him everyday was like torture, not being able to tell him how he felt was being stuck in a prison.. He didn't want to feel like that anymore, with his shaky hands he reach's forward hold the side of Eddie's face the last thing he see's is his big brown eye's staring up at him before he leans forward his lips connecting with is..

Suddenly the thought's stopped Eddie's brain going quiet, he was gay.. No.. Oh god no

Richie pull's away standing in front of Eddie watching the surprise of his face as he stood there frozen his eyes wide his lips parted, it felt like days passed by but Richie's stomach drops watching the surprise soon turn to terror.. His breath become rapid's his small shaking hands digging into his fanny pack pulling out his inhaler nearly dropping it his hands unable to hold it stable his brown eyes filled with fear his breathing coming out in gasp. Richie quickly grabs the teen's inhaler placing the part into his mouth pushing it down hearing the gust of air come out of it and Eddie inhale it his breathing still rough but it was enough it didn't sound like wheezing "Are you okay?" Richie asked but Eddie doesn't answer he jus stares ahead looking starstruck in fear "Ed's..?"

"No.. God no, why" He suddenly says backing away from Richie the sinking feeling in his stomach deepening.. He did it, he ruined everything.. Eddie look's up meeting his eyes Richie could see the water building up in the as he kept his inhaler tight in his grip like if he let go it was disappear.. "I can't- Richie this.. I'm not gay I can't be"

It felt like Richie had been punched in the gut.. The words "I can't be" broke him his own breathing becoming shaky, "You.. You can't be?"

"My life would be over Richie! I'd be looked at like a freak!" Eddie snaps his breathing going back to it's wheezing state, Richie didn't want to argue fuck it hated fighting but the word's just start spilling out of his mouth "How do you think I feel!? I've been stuck with these feelings for years!" it felt like everything was crashing done on him all the secrets he's been holding in just come spilling out his eye's filling with anger and sad tears he couldn't even tell what he felt..

"Fuck.. Shit Eddie, I'm sorry.. Just forget this happened" Richie spits out before stepping back off his porch quickly turning around and running down the driveway, the walk home felt awful.. He shouldn't have done everything his friendship was over, Eddie would freak out and tell everyone and the whole loser's club would just leave him.. He'd be alone like always stuck in his quiet house and distant parents forever, walking through the front door he ignores everything around him knowing his parent's weren't home to greet the son they hadn't seen in days. For all he knows the two of them most likely forgot they even had a kid, crashing into his room he sit's down on his bed everything hitting him like a brick across the head his tears he had been holding in finally spilling out drenching his cheeks in burning salty tears his sobs being silence by the palms of his hand. Through his blurry eyes he reach's forward dialing the one person he wanted to talk to praying she would answer the phone, after three rings the line clicks her soft voice filling the line "Richie? What's up" 

"I fucked everything up Beverly" He sobs breaking down all over again his knee's hugged close to his chest removing his glasses with his free hands the lenses filled with tears, "Richie what are you talking about?"

"I kissed him.. Out of everything I could have done I kissed him! Then to make it even worse I fucking made it all about me!" 

"Richie.."

"I'm so fucking dumb Beverly, why did I ever think that was a good idea?"

"Rich, do you want me to come over?"

"No- No I want to be alone right now I.. I just god I feel awful" Richie sighs wiping the tears out of his eyes his hands still feeling weak, all he wanted to do was take a shower and crash in his bed for the rest of the night which is what he does after ending the call with Beverly who tries her best to comfort him which didn't really work.. He had fucked everything up..