15

I met eyes with Frankie as I got to the pool, and he cocked his head at me as if the ploy to get Y/N in a bikini was successful.

I shook my head subtly at him.

Fucking idiot.

Does he not realize there are bigger things at stake here?

Oh.

Hm..

I guess he doesn't..

I didn't tell him about the aftermath of the sex.. and how she is feeling..

There's no way she would get in a bikini with that going on in her mind.

I'd be lucky to even see her out of the room.

I guess I can't spend all day moping about in here.

I'll need to face it.

This is just how I'll feel for now, but like Chan said.. it will feel better.

I dragged myself out of bed and changed into the baggiest clothes I could find.

My safe place is amongst layers of cotton.. even if it's hot outside.

I just need to feel like I'm at home as much as possible..

I stepped out of the balcony, and as I reached the pool, I noticed Chans face light up upon noticing me.

I gave him a small wave, then I sat by the pool under the shade, the other side of the pool to him.

He got up as if to see me, but I raised my hands to stop him.

I just want to be alone for the time being, but seeing his expression turn sad gave me a little reassurance that he does actually care about me.

I sat for a moment, staring out to the mountain views.

It's pretty tranquil here.

Everyone's just chilling, and Derek has his lofi coffee shop playlist on fairly low, which is adding a nice bit of ambience.

This is what it's all about.

I was enjoying the zen, until someone sat on my bed.

God, he's so clingy..

I turned, expecting Chan, only to be greeted by Yua.

What does she want?

I glanced over at Chan, and he looked uncomfortable to see us both together.

"You okay?" I smile at her, and she lets out a sigh.

"Girl, I'm sorry how things have been going.. but you need to know something I just found out."

Uh..

I stared blankly at her.

Does she expect me to be jumping eagerly to hear what she has to say?

I couldn't care less what shit she wants to spew.

"Chan and Frankie had a bet." She told me anyway, and I had no idea what she meant by that.

I cocked my head at her, and she smirked back at me.

"Chan's winning, Y/N."

My heart dropped.

Chan?

I looked over at Chan again, and he was staring straight back at me with worry.

Did he know she'd say something to me about this?

He fucking told Frankie that we had sex.

What is wrong with him?!

I'm not giving her the satisfaction of hurting me.. Not when Chan can do a fine job at that himself.

"What do you mean?" I snapped my head at her, maintaining a completely unphased look which caught her off guard.

"Well, I looked at Frankie's phone while he was asleep last night.

Chan's been exchanging photos of you for money."

What?!

I felt sick to my stomach.

He never deleted that photo.

How could I be so stupid?

To believe his word like that.

What a fool I am.

If it wasn't bad enough that he's been blabbing about me to his mate..he's also been sending him photos?!

And for Yua to tell me is just the icing on the cake.

I want to cry.

I can't believe I thought he wouldn't hurt me.

I'll keep my composure, though.

This is something I need to discuss with Chan. Alone.

As much as intimate moments have been shared with not only Frankie, but also Yua.. I just want this to stay contained.

I'm not being publicly ridiculed by this bitch, and I don't want Yua to think she's helping me. She is selfish and is doing it to humiliate me.

"I know already. Chan's splitting the money with me." I told her casually, and she went pale.

Wait til I get my hands on Chan

I knew I should never have agreed to do this.. Or be stupid enough to trust him.

"Really?" She then muttered under her breath, and I shrugged at her.

"Right.. okay, well.. I'm glad it's not been behind your back.. that would have sucked for you.." She tried to recover, and I smiled back at her.

"Thanks for thinking of me, girl." I exhaled, then got up to my feet.

She looked up at me with confusion, and I walked away from her, headed towards Chan.

This is awful.

Any other day and I'd have just broken down and screamed in his face, but I want to give him a chance to tell me himself.

Not that it would make a difference, but it might show he has a little bit of a conscience at least.

"Room for one more?" I smiled at him, and he budged over for me to lay next to him.

I got comfy, and I looked over at Yua.

Fuck you.

Chan held his arm around me, and I nuzzled into his chest.

"What did Yua say?" He eventually asked, and I let out a small sigh.

"She just wanted to clear the air.."

"Really? Did you tell her to fuck off?" He retorted, and I let slip a giggle.

"I'm tired of two faced people." I mumbled, and he pecked my head softly.

My heart hurts.

Why did he have to do that to me?

After everything?

I wrapped my arm around his torso, and he caressed my skin, pecking my head once more as he enjoyed the embrace.

I felt tears leave my eyes, and Chan noticed, pulling my face up to look at him.

"Why are you crying, baby?" He soothed me, wiping the tears, but I wasn't in a hurry to tell him the reason just yet.

I want him to feel guilty just a little longer.

"I'm scared I'll regret wearing my heart on my sleeve." I admitted, and he gave me a confused look, but I knew deep down that I hit a nerve.

He kissed me on the lips and squeezed me into him.

"You'll not regret it." He tried to reassure me, and I let out a sigh.

I knew it was all too good to be true.

Y/N fell asleep next to me, and my heart felt so full.

I hope she doesn't feel bad when she finds out I took her virginity.

I mean, it was fully consensual, and I stopped as soon as she wanted me to..

I couldn't have been anymore on her side, and I'll continue to be for as long as I live.

She deserves the world.

I just wish it was more enjoyable for her.

I don't want to pressure her into trying again, but it would be good for her to experience it how it's meant to be.

I decided to slip off the bed without disturbing her, and I made my way to the kitchen for a drink.

I'll make Y/N one as well, just in case she wakes up.

As I got to the kitchen, I walked in on Frankie and Yua giggling close together, but as soon as Yua saw me, she pushed him away.

Ugh.

"Maybe that's why she hides herself. She's ashamed of her outie.." Yua suddenly spoke as my back was facing her, and I froze.

The fuck?

I turned and stared back at her, and Frankie watched on awkwardly.

Does she know?

"What the fuck have you told her, Frank?" I shot at him, failing to keep my cool.

"Hey, I caught him getting off at the photos.. he didn't exactly try to be discreet about it.. and he couldn't help but spill." Yua argued to semi defend him, and I was dumbfounded.

"Are you fucking serious dude? Telling Yua as well??" I approached him angrily, taking him by the scruff, and he held his hands in the air.

"Look, it wasn't my proudest wank, but she is so hot. You can't blame me." He shrugged.

"That's it. I'm done with you. You're a fucking weirdo." I shoved him into the counter, and Yua just snickered like it was the funniest thing ever.

"I don't know what the fuck you're laughing at either! You're part of the problem! Lying to Y/N? To everyone? This whole fucking time!"

She looked slightly taken aback by my attack, but that just shows she knew it wasn't Y/N who Frankie fucked in that hotel. We've outed her and her lie, but it doesn't change anything.

She just scoffed at me.

"I don't need to explain myself to you. It couldn't possibly be worse than a fucking bet.." She scowled, and I couldn't believe someone could be such a cunt.

It'll come out soon enough, and I hope Y/N smashes her face in.

I walked out of the kitchen with the drinks, and Y/N was still fast asleep in the shade.

I need to calm myself down.

Y/N will pick it up instantly, otherwise.

Today will just be a day for me and her, as will the rest of the holiday and beyond.

I perched on the foot end of the sun lounger, and after a few minutes, I felt a soft hand wrap around my torso.

"Hi baby." Y/N whispered, kissing my skin, and I felt her rest her head against me.

I caressed her arms as they held me tightly, but I could sense something more in this than just a loving embrace.

"You okay?" I squeezed her hand, turning my body to look into her eyes.

She nodded with a small smile, but her eyes looked sad.

I know she feels down about the sex, but my mind can't help but drift to what I've done to hurt her.

I hate myself.

She never deserved any of it.

Should I tell her?

Would there even be a slight chance of us moving on from it if so?

Something's telling me we wouldn't be able to, which is devastating.

I can't be selfish, though, and I can't keep something like that from her.

Maybe I'll tell her at the end of the holiday. We won't be sitting together on the plane, so if it's bad, she won't see me.

What am I saying? Of course it'll be bad.

I've done the unforgivable.

"I'm gonna cool off in the pool." I quickly kissed her, then did a couple big strides and bombed into the water before she could react.

As I resurfaced, I noticed she was still watching me, and I swam up to the edge to see her.

"Nice and cool?" She beamed, and I flicked my hair like a dog to wet her, making her gasp.

"You little shit." She chuckled, getting up off the bed.

"Ooh, I'm so scared." I mocked her playfully, and she sat on the edge to kick water at me.

Without thinking, I pulled her in the pool by her legs, and as she dunked under the surface, my heart dropped.

I pulled her back up by her waist, and her little panicked look she gave me broke my heart, but as she wrapped her arms around my neck for security, I knew she wouldn't hold it against me.

It just seems like I keep hurting her, and I hate it.

"It's okay, I'm fine." She exhaled in my ear, and I felt her legs wrap around me.

"I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry." I sighed in her ear, but she ran her fingers through my hair as she tightened her hug over my shoulders.

"You're not an idiot. There's no harm done." She then pulled back, kissing my lips, and I couldn't help but stare deeply in her eyes.

I don't deserve her.