from me

first things first, thank you everybody for reading this story!

idk if that's dumb info lol but I've been writing short stories and starting books for 10 years now - this is the first book i've ever finished. lol.

Im sad and also relieved that I finished this book. it kind of feels like a step closer to recovery if that even makes sense.

oh yeah btw for the questions :

did you ever change your plot?

yeah a lot actually. my original idea was to make minho die in the end. turns out I'm not a big fan of sad endings.

what gave you the idea to write this story and make minho the main character?

I needed to vent somehow. having no friends that knew and being in this shithole for well over a year, I needed something to let my feelings out. boom. lucky I write.

my original thought was to make hyunjin the main character. I don't know why but I changed my idea once I started writing.

how are you?(cute question lol thanks)

better. ups and downs, but better. I didn't decide to recover after a year of osfed, five months of anorexia or four months with bulimia. I didn't decide to recover after fainting at school or losing all my interests. I decided to recover when I finally got so incredibly sick of being sick.

the truth is, eating disorders are all a lie. they're lying to us, telling us pretty hypocritical things we can only dream of being. and even if we ever succeed, it would never ever be enough.

I don't want to keep remembering everything the way I do now. I don't want to celebrate another christmas but not remember the fun I had but instead how I threw up my dinner in my grandmas bathroom. I don't want to remember another birthday as the time I binged and purged. I truly want to enjoy the summer and not just tell myself that I will when I'm skinny enough.

it's actually worth it. a few months ago I thought I might as well just die from heart failure and get it over with, but now having friends that get me, summer nights under the stars, I see that it's all worth it.

I started this story feeling like there was no other way out than death. ended this story having a plan for the future and real, genuine happiness by my side.

Im starting to like myself. and I hope you do too.

I hope you enjoyed this ride! let's see each other in another book!