Chapter 7: The Times of Being Rejected

When mom finally picked up, I found myself thinking about Sean again. The way he picked me up again was–

Oh no, here I am thinking about him again. I sighed. My mom looked up at me. “You okay, Jakes?” 

“I’m fine.” I mumbled. 

I looked up at the window and I suddenly saw a familiar house appear out of nowhere. That’s Sean’s house! “Hey, mom. I still have time, right? I-is it okay if I go to my friend’s house for a while?”

“That… boy?” Mom raised a brow. My face suddenly turned red when she said that. She looked at the time in her car and sighed. “Okay, fine."

I smiled, "Thank you, mom.”

She hailed her car and I opened the door. I said goodbye to my mom and she told me, “I’ll call you when it’s time to go.” I nodded and then she left.

To be honest, I was trembling. Like, would it be normal to visit your crush’s home all of a sudden?

I knocked on the door and heard a woman yell, “Sean?! A friend is here to see you!” I heard footsteps coming down and my heart was beating so fast. This… is probably not a good idea. 

The door opened and Sean’s eyes widened. All of a sudden, he dropped his phone. 

Sean looked at me and I chuckled. I picked up his phone, and we ended up entwining our hands. I gasped, pulling away. He did the same and I finally gave his phone to him. I wonder if this was the best choice. I feel sudden trembles across the pit of my stomach. 

“Hey Jake, what brings you here?” Sean asked, putting his phone inside his pockets.

Oh shoot. I told my mom to drop me off here because I wanted to tell Sean something. And I did. I wanted to tell him if he loved me or not. I… didn’t think his house would be a bad decision. “Well, I was bored and I know your address; so maybe we can do that vocal thingy again. Hailey can't stop reminding us about it anyway.” That was the best excuse. It was half true. 

“Oh…sure.” Sean looked at his mom and she nodded, pointing up. 

“You two can go up stairs.”

The DJ nodded and I followed Sean up the stairs. I think we’re supposed to be going into his room. Sean opened the door and I awed at the view. It was so clean! Like, literally cleaner than my room. There was music stuff all over the place; like headphones, DJ player, and the LED lights lit up the room like fireworks. 

I turn to Sean, “Your room is cleaner than mine to be honest.”

He chuckled and I could feel my cheeks bursting with heat. "Yeah, Milly saids that to me. I always keep my room tidy while playing some music in the background." 

I took a step closer to his bed and I saw a book laying down on the ground that saids, ‘My Journal.’ I was about to take it when he grabbed it from my hands. “U-uh, that’s private, sorry.”

Wait! So, that’s supposed to be his diary?! Without a warning, I smirked. "Ooooh~ looks like somebody's got a crush~" 

“What?! Crush?! No!” He put his journal inside his drawer, leaning to his desk. "I'm not ready for those kinds of things. It's not love, I swear." 

“Oh. I see.” I crossed my arms, feeling unsatisfied with what he just said. He… doesn’t have feelings for anyone? In my head, I’m trying to find the meaning for the ‘I’m not ready for those kinds of things.’ Maybe he does have a crush on someone. “Can you… at least tell me who this person is a little bit?”

Sean sighed and sat next to me on his bed. “You know that feeling where you wanna admit something, but… you just can’t?” 

Those words hit me hard like a bullet. “Y-yeah?” 

“Exactly. I just keep everything to myself.” He crossed his arms. “I’m just.. In denial.” he shook his head. “So, I can’t tell you who the person is behind the journal.”

"Alright, well. I'm not gonna force it out of you if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But, at least let me help you confess to them. If you keep your feelings bottled up, you're gonna end up closer to despair." I told him. “And I don’t want that.”

He made a sly smile. 

“A-also about the sleepover…” I scratched my head. “I am so sorry. I don’t know how I got…like… really clumsy.” I chuckled awkwardly.

“Don’t worry, man. It could’ve happened to any of us.” Sean patted my back and I looked down. This is probably the part where I say something cheesy, but nothing came to me. “Alright!” Sean changed the subject. “Now about that song.” 

I smiled. “Has Hailey came up with a title yet?” 

Sean nodded his head. “It’s called, ‘Hero.’” 

“Woah, that’s a cool name.” I stood up and looked at the music lyrics laying in Sean’s study table. “Wait, since when did we create love songs?”

“To be fair, ‘Loved with your love’” was kind of a love song, too.” 

I raised a brow. “I always thought the love part was a metaphor and the song was about making difficult choices and going for the heart because you’ve been suffering for too long.”

Sean scoffed, but it sounded like a soft chuckle, “I think the song was about the choice of the one you love being right in front of you, but you just didn’t know it till now because there’s something preventing you from being with them, but you know deep in your heart that you want to be with them forever.”

Sean started saying something else after that, but I found myself staring at the black haired him. I didn’t realize those lyrics would describe my love for him in a way. Maybe I wanted to be loved by his love. When I look into your eyes I see my future my para–

“Jake, you okay?” 

My thoughts vanish and my cheeks suddenly turn red. “B-but music can mean multiple things, y’know.”

Sean looked at me, concerned. “...yeah, right.” he tilts his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” I chuckled. “The way you described that song kind of reminded me of my experience of… well… that.”

Sean’s eyes widened. I guess he was taken by surprise. “Is this… Daisy or Hailey?”

I shook my head. “Someone else” 

“Oh.” Sean curved out a small smile. “Well, what’s she like?”

I chuckled softly and sat next to the black haired boy. She? As if. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I decided to go along with it. “She's really great with kids. I hang out with her a lot and I see her play with a little girl who stole her laptop one time. She’s kind, caring, and is the best music creator ever.”

“She’s a music creator? Seems like a good fit for you.” I hear Sean tremble as he said those words, he was looking down. 

All of a sudden, I couldn’t take it. I felt myself trembling. I didn’t want to lie this time. I felt my eyes watering. “No… no, Sean. It’s not a girl.”

The black haired boy raised a brow and turned to me. “What do you mean?”

“I lied.” I laughed. “I actually- I have feelings for this boy. I just- I couldn’t say anything because I’m just scared someone will tell and make fun of me. I saw Luke and Zander go through the same thing in PE, and I couldn’t bring myself to go through that kind of experience because I already have one friend who betrayed me last year. And-”

I stopped when I felt arms wrapped all around me. “Hey, hey. You don’t have to be ashamed just because you like a boy. The club accepts you, I accept you.” Sean patted my back. “And this guy seems really nice.”

When he let go of me, I wiped my tears. “Thank you, Sean.” I smiled. “And I’m sorry for getting all teary.”

“Don’t worry.” He smiled warmly. “Music does have a way of turning you emotional, after all.”

“Hey Sean.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it me you have a crush on?” 

He laughed nervously. “I don’t know if you’re saying that just to change the subject or to joke around.” he shook his head. “No, I don’t and if I did, your crush would be very jealous of me.”

I chuckled, but that just bought a bullet onto my chest. I didn’t want to cry more, so I tried my best to let it all in. 

Buzz

Buzz

Buzz

All of a sudden, my phone rang. I looked at the phone ID: Mom.

“Hello?”

“Your brother is alone in the house, you need to come here and watch him while me and your dad are at work.”

Great… my brother.

“Okay yeah, I’ll be there.”

I sighed. “I need to take care of my little brother ‘cause mom and dad are at work.”

Sean rubbed his back. “Oh, well, a duty is a duty; you should go on ahead.”

I nodded. I went through the door and looked at Sean, smiling. “Thank you for everything, Sean.”

He waved back. “No problem. See you tomorrow.”

****

After Jake’s mom dropped him off their house, Jake immediately went through the door step. He wiped his shoes on the rug, just about ready to flop down his bed with his dog friend Oreo. It has been a long day; and the worse part; getting rejected without his crush knowing he got hurt… Yeah, a very long day indeed. 

Jake was about to open the door, but before he could do that, someone did it for him. Unfortunately for him, it was his little brother: Matt. 

Matt tilted his head and crossed his arms. He looked at Jake as if he failed at something and was just about to mock him about it. “What happened to you?”

Jake glared at his little brother.  “Can you just let me inside?” Jake groaned and walked right past him.

“No need to be rude.” Matt scoffed and rolled his eyes at his big brother. “I’m just saying what happened.”

“I just had a long day, okay? Now would you do me a favor and leave me alone?” Jake hissed. 

“I didn’t expect you to get mad after going to your boyfriend’s house.” Matt laughed hysterically, pointing at the taller boy. He tried to catch his breath and continued, “Okay, okay. Lemme guess, he doesn’t feel the same about you. Wow, I bet he still likes that girl you loved before. Her name is Daisy, right? Or maybe it was Hailey. Oh wait! You got rejected!” He crossed his arms. “I still don’t understand why mom loves you over me. Maybe I’ll be her favorite child after she finds out you’re in love with a boy.”

Those words burned through Jake’s body. He felt his heart beat fast and he was boiling with anger. Tears almost fell from his eyes, but he tried not to show it. He glared at his brother. “You know what?! I’m not in love with anyone, okay Matt!? Stop saying I like him ‘cause I don’t! I only see him as a school mate, band mate, whatever! I don’t like any boys so you better shut your frickin mouth!”

The little boy put his arms up like he was surrendering. He didn’t know how to respond to his big brother’s words; especially the last comment. 

Jake didn’t want to hear another word from Matt’s mouth, so he shoved past him, knocking his shoulder. He walked to his room, angrily.

Matt yelled after his big brother. “You know I was only joking, Jake. Stop taking things too seriously!” 

Jake shook his head, ignoring everything his brother had to say. Once he went inside his room, he closed the door. It made a hard bang that scared him; what he said to his brother. He turned to the corner and he spotted Oreo, his dog, who looked at him with a terrified expression. Jake’s eyes widened and he ran to the dog. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Oreo. I didn’t scare you, right?”

Oreo licked the boy’s face. Jake laughed, but it was fake. Before he knew it, he broke down, crying. “I can’t take this anymore! I can’t take this anymore!” He buried his face onto his legs. “Why is it so hard to just tell them who I am!? Why did I let my stupid brother say those things to me. Maybe I’m just a coward. I-I mean… it shows, right?” He felt hot tears streaming down his eyes, but he also felt Oreo’s furr wrapping around him. The dog was whimpering.

All he wanted was to stay there for hours. Not do anything else.

Just stay there.

***

Meanwhile, outside of Jake’s room was his little brother. He crossed his arms.

I did it again…

He rubbed his head and looked at his big brother’s room, nervous… but also, ashamed.

I just want everyone to know that this chapter's purpose is to showcase Juffering.

Okay im joking.

Anyway, I'm sorry for not publishing for so long. Sometimes I wish I could finish, like... 5 chapters at once and publish them day by day like Lander month. But unfortunetly I have a screen limit for the phone now. Fortunetly I'm having more ideas on what to write and continue. Just need to figure out HOW to write it and manage my time on screen. Haha...

Anyway, enough ramboling. Thanks for reading this chapter and hope to see you soon!~