4

It's been a week.Lip came home today.

I saw him walk into the Gallagher house from across the street. He looked tired—older, maybe. I don't know. I'm just glad he made it back safe.

It's nearly 11 p.m. when there's a knock at the door.

I already know who it is.

I open it, and sure enough—there he is. Lip. Standing on my porch like a ghost.I go to shut the door, but he catches it with his hand.

"I want to talk," he says quickly.

"Talk about what, Lip? How I made you feel like such a fucking burden?"My voice is flat. Cold. And it takes all my strength not to let it shake.

"I never said that, Erin. Can you just talk to me for two damn minutes without bitching?"

That one hits like a slap. I blink, stunned. My heart sinks, fast and low.

"Oh, so now I'm bitchy on top of everything?" I laugh, sharp and bitter."Guess I win girlfriend of the year."I turn and start to walk away from the door, but I don't stop talking."You don't get to disappear when shit gets hard, Lip. That's not how a relationship works. That's not how the real world works."I keep my voice low so I don't wake the boys, but it's taking everything in me not to scream.

"I'm not gonna bail, Erin," he says behind me."I'm here. For you. For the boys."

I turn and look at him.

He's drunk. Really drunk.

He's swaying slightly, eyes glassy, flushed cheeks.And for a split second—he looks like Frank.He must see it in my face, because he says:

"I'm not my dad."His voice is rough, but softer now. Pleading.

I step toward the door."Get out."

His jaw clenches."You hear me?" he snaps, louder now."I'M NOT MY FUCKING DAD!"

I flinch. The shout echoes through the hallway. My hands shake.

"Get out, Lip. Now," I say, tears streaming down my cheeks before I even realize they're falling.

Then—

"Erin?"

I spin around. Lucas is standing halfway down the stairs, rubbing his eyes. His voice is small, scared.

"Are you okay?"

Lip turns toward the door, finally realizing what he's done.He doesn't say a word—just looks at Lucas, then back at me.

I force a smile for the kid.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm fine. Go back to bed, okay?"

Lucas nods slowly, still unsure, and walks back upstairs. I wait until I hear his door click shut.

Then I look back at Lip.

"You've lost your fucking mind," I whisper."Get the hell out of my house. Now."

Lip just stares at me for a long second. His eyes are red. His mouth opens like he's about to say something—but he doesn't.

He turns, steps outside, and slams the door behind him.

The walls shake.

I lock the deadbolt with trembling hands. Press my back to the door.

And then—I finally let it all go.

I sink to the floor, knees pulled to my chest, and sob into the silence of the house. I still can't believe he did that. And I'm still in love with him. That's the worst part.