Lesson 8 : Don't Catch Feelings

sorry for late update im drunk and its my birthday aayyyy im 20 this year :))) hehe. enjoy this chapter guys! x

MARLENES POV

I laid in bed imagining spending time with Ashton. Our sex was amazing. I couldn’t compare it to anyone because before him I was a virgin. Although, I didn’t imagine sex to be that passionate, especially since Ash wasn’t even my boyfriend. Honestly I was scared. I realized through all of this that I don’t want him giving me lessons, I want him to be teaching me this because we are together. Committed. And serious. But we weren’t.

I was scared like hell. People always said sex complicated things. Especially Ebony. Her and Michael were fuck buddies for like four months before they became serious. And I always had her crying on my shoulder because she always wanted more. And I’m glad he gave that to her.

I don’t know if Ashton wants to be my boyfriend.

Me : hey what are you doing?     (12:36pm)

….

I sat there staring at my phone waiting for him to text me, he was always so eager to talk to me. Although, he always made the first move. I always let him take the lead. Why am I so scared to text him? I just wanted to talk to him. Twenty minutes goes by and I can’t help but continue to peak over at my screen and it nothing shows up.

“Please Ashton…” I whisper to my phone. I huff to myself. I’m being silly. Why don’t I just call him? Yeah I’ll to that, I thought to myself.

I pick up my phone and click his name and the little phone icon. It starts to ring and after the third ring it shuts off. “Did he just cancel my call?” I thought out loud. What the hell. Why would he do that?

Me : hey call me.     (1:58pm)

Ashton : im busy     (2:10pm)

Me : ??     (2:11pm)

Ashton : what     (2:12pm)

Me : oh.. um I just wanted to see what youre doing     (2:13pm)

Ashton : mar I told you im busy     (2:14pm)

Me : why are you mad? :( babe stop     (2:16pm)

Ashton : don’t call me babe, and im not mad. I said I was busy.. see you around.      (2:47pm)

I literally stare the text and being bawling my eyes out. Why is he so angry, I pull out my phone again and start to dial Ebony’s number. I wiped my eyes so I could clearly see where I could dial her number. I put it up to my ear as she answers.

“Hey.” I hear a voice answer. “Mikey?” I answer sniffing. “Yeep, that’s my name.” He says laughing and I couldn’t help but smile. “Where’s eb?” I ask him. “She was taking a nap, I’ll just go jump on her.” He says and then I hear total silent followed by ‘Michael get the fuck off, I hate you!’ And I start chuckling.

“Ugh, hello?” I hear a sleepy Ebony answer and I start crying. “Ash… he wont… I don’t know... and then.” I cry inbetween telling her what was going on. “What? Wait slow down…” She says. “Ashton… He won’t talk to me and I don’t know-…”

“Come over to Michael right now.” She cuts me off. “Okay, give me 15 minutes.” I sniffle hanging up.

I hope in the shower and throw on some yoga pants and a band tee and leave to go to Michael’s. I cry a bit on the way there and I also cried in the shower. I just didn’t understand what I did wrong.

I see Ebony and Michael outside smoking. Eb was in shorts and Mikey’s shirt while he was shirtless and in some basketball shorts. “Hey…” I say walking up. Mikey kisses Ebony and walks inside.

“What the fuck happened?” She says flicking the bud of her cigarette into a make shift container full of endless cigs. “Okay… Me and Ashton had sex last night…” I huff and start crying. She gives me a hug and rubs my back, “lets go inside.” She suggests.

She sits down and I lay down next to her and place my head on her lap so she could play with me hair. “How was it?” She asks. “It was more than I could imagine, it hurt a little bit. But the pleasure consumed every ounce of pain I was feeling Eb. I really like him.” I confess to her. “Okay so whats wrong?” She questions.

“He won’t talk to me.” I pout and the tears start rolling down my face. “Mar… Don’t… I didn’t think you’d fuck him? I thought you guys were just seeing each other why did this escalate so fast.” She says.

God… Now its time to tell her. I feel like a piece of shit I never keep secrets from her. “Umm okay.. So Ashton gave me lessons?” I say nervously. “What do you mean lessons?” she sneered. “He… kind of taught me how to have sex, or show affection…” I say not looking at her. “Mar, what the hell? Explain more please.” She huffed and she shifted and lifted me up so I could face her.

I began to explain each lesson and I told her everything that happened. She went into the kitchen and grabbed two shot glasses and some vodka. Hell it was a Sunday but why not drink? While I told each lesson we took a drink and occasionally she would say some awes and cover her mouth quickly remembering that things with me and him aren’t how I’d prefer. “Sooo… what you going to do now?” Eb asks me. “I don’t know, that’s why I came over here and I wanted to ask you what I should -…”

I was cut off with the door opening. Me and Ebony look up to see Ashton, Luke and Calum walk in. They were all laughing and in conversation until Ashton notices me. He face turns cold and he looks away. “Ashton.” I say trying to grab his attention.

He just walks by and the guys walk behind him awkwardly. “Where Mike?” Calum asks. “Idk.” Ebony says annoyed. “Well sheesh, walked in at the wrong time.” Luke complains and Eb just rolls her eyes.

They all walk into the kitchen and I hear them making drinks. I also hear Ashton’s giggle and just hearing him talk made me pissed off. Why was he ignoring me. “Fuck that.” I growled getting up and storming to the kitchen with Ebony on my tail.

“Look, why the fuck are you ignoring me? What the hell did I do?” I say looking up at him. “What are you talking about?” He says taking a sip of his beer. “You are blowing me the fuck off? Why?” I repeat raising my voice a lot louder than before. “Honestly I told you, I’m giving you lessons and that’s it. We fucked.” He says harshly. He leans forward into my face. “Lessons are over, that its. What else did you expect?” He chuckles at my pity and I turn to the door and run out.

I don’t even stop with Ebony calling out for me to come back.

ASHTONS POV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That was too harsh. I didn’t have to say it like that. “Mar wait!” I scream to her but she was already walking outside. I shrugged my shoulders and huffed, “oh well.”

Deep down I was freaking out.

~

It was finally Monday and I knew that I was going to be seeing Marlene. I couldn’t avoid her. I need to stay away from her though. My feelings grew so strongly for her and it was scary.

I walked through the halls of school trying to avoid her. I was high so I was kind of paranoid. This morning was weird because Michael and Eb didn’t come over to smoke. Eb was really pissed off, Michael was also mad because he missed out on free bud. I kinda felt bad.

My first classes when by too fast. I found myself walking into Math. I saw her sitting down on the opposite side of the room. She was wearing short shorts and a crop top. I could only imagine fucking her, this time I’d just bend her over to cause her to scream my name. I just didn’t look her way anymore and I sat next to Michael. “Hey man, your are the definition of screw up.” He say to me chuckling. “Leave me alone.” I huffed. Luke just sat there grinning, “you better watch it. So many guys were looking her way today.” He warned.

Oh god. Now everyone wants her when before they weren’t even looking her way. “I don’t care.” I shrugged. Our teacher began passing out our lesson and note plans for the week. My heart stopped when I say her ‘Lesson 1’ It only brought me back to me and Mar’s first date, first kiss, first fuck. The first time she moaned my name…

I shake my head and fix my hair trying to ignore those lingering thoughts. Class went by very slowly and so did the rest of the week.  

~

It was finally Friday and I had another break away from the hell hole known as school. Everytime I turned the corner I saw Marlene holding her books just casually talking to new guys. They seemed to make a move but I couldn’t help but notice she didn’t look at them the way that she looked at me.

I laid in bed and imagined what it would be like if I didn’t do that to her. I suddenly hear at knock at my door taking me away from my thoughts. I opened the door and looked up.

It was Marlene.

so update at 3am, but i am drunk as fuck. u g h , i hope this chapter ended up making sense with my edits and stuff. hahaha pls vote/ comment/ share.