Chapter 9

Alex sat in the doctor's office, her fingers intertwined tightly with Chan's as they waited in silence. The sterile scent of antiseptic filled the air, mingling with the distant hum of medical equipment and the soft murmurs of other patients behind closed doors. The fluorescent lighting above cast a cool, clinical glow over everything, heightening the tension that already coiled deep in Alex's stomach. She glanced down at their joined hands, her thumb absentmindedly tracing over Chan's knuckles, grounding herself in his warmth.

Chan, sensing her unease, squeezed her hand gently. "You okay?" His voice was soft, careful, but laced with an underlying concern that mirrored her own.

She inhaled deeply, offering a small, tight-lipped smile. "Yeah. Just... a little nervous." It was an understatement. Her heart felt like it was trying to claw its way out of her chest.

He leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple. "Me too," he murmured, his breath warm against her skin. "But we got this, yeah?"

Before she could respond, the nurse stepped into the waiting area, clipboard in hand and a polite, professional smile on her face. "Ms. Taylor, Mr. Bang? We're ready for you."

Alex felt Chan's grip tighten briefly, a silent promise, before they both rose to their feet. Her legs felt heavier than usual, as though each step toward the examination room carried the weight of every hope and fear she had buried inside. The soft echo of their footsteps down the hallway seemed louder in the otherwise quiet clinic.

Once inside, Alex settled onto the chair while Chan took the seat beside her, his leg bouncing anxiously. She reached over, placing a calming hand on his knee. He shot her a sheepish look, but didn't stop.

Dr. Kim entered a few moments later, her familiar warm smile offering some semblance of comfort. "Good to see you both again," she said, her voice soothing as she flipped through Alex's file. "I know this is a big step, but everything looks excellent so far. Are you both ready to proceed with the implantation today?"

Alex swallowed hard, her throat dry. "Yes," she managed, her voice stronger than she expected. Beside her, Chan nodded stiffly, his lips pressed into a thin line of tension.

Dr. Kim's gaze softened as she looked at him knowingly. "Mr. Bang, I understand you have a very demanding schedule, but rest assured, we'll coordinate to ensure Alex has the support she needs."

Chan let out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I—I'm gonna be in and out a lot with the tour and... everything." His voice trailed off, guilt flickering across his face like a shadow.

Alex immediately reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his. "We knew this wouldn't be easy with your schedule," she said gently, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "But we'll figure it out. I won't be alone."

A small smile crossed her lips as she thought of Kendra and Beth, who had practically made it their mission to be with her every step of the way. Whether it was watching movies, forcing her to relax, or just sitting in comfortable silence, they had promised to keep her company while Chan was away.

Dr. Kim nodded approvingly. "Having a solid support system is key, and I'm glad you have that. Today's procedure is straightforward, and we'll go over all the post-care instructions thoroughly. Just remember—rest is crucial, and no stress."

Alex nodded, absorbing Dr. Kim's words, but the weight of it all still pressed down on her chest. Rest and no stress—two things that felt almost impossible with Chan's demanding schedule and the emotional rollercoaster she had been on since they decided to take this step. She stole a glance at him, noting the crease in his brow, the way his jaw tensed slightly as if he were holding something back.

Chan exhaled slowly and reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You're in good hands," he said softly, his dark eyes searching hers for reassurance just as much as he was offering it.

"I know," she whispered, her lips curving into a faint smile. "And I'll have Kendra and Beth practically living at our place, making sure I don't lift a finger."

Dr. Kim chuckled, flipping to a new page in Alex's chart. "That's great to hear. Emotional and physical support go hand in hand, and I want you to feel comfortable reaching out if you experience any anxiety or concerns post-procedure."

Alex nodded again, her fingers gripping the cool metal arms of the examination chair as the gravity of the moment settled in. The reality of what they were about to do felt heavier now that they were in the sterile confines of the clinic, with machines humming softly and the faint sound of footsteps outside the door.

"Alright," Dr. Kim continued, her tone professional yet kind. "Let's go over the procedure once more before we begin. The embryo transfer itself is quick and relatively painless. You might feel some cramping afterward, which is completely normal. Afterward, I'll recommend a few days of complete rest. I know it's going to be tough, but your body needs to be in the best condition to support implantation."

Alex felt Chan's fingers tighten around hers again, and she knew exactly what he was thinking. He wouldn't be able to stay. The guilt was practically radiating off of him.

Dr. Kim must have noticed too, because she turned to Chan with a reassuring smile. "I understand your career demands a lot of you, Mr. Bang, but what matters most is that Alex feels supported emotionally. Whether that's through calls, messages, or even video chats, every bit of encouragement helps."

Chan nodded quickly, his grip never leaving Alex's hand. "I'll be there as much as I can," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I promise."

Alex blinked back the sting in her eyes and leaned her head against his shoulder briefly. "I know," she murmured, letting herself enjoy the fleeting comfort of his presence before everything changed.

The procedure began with Alex lying on the examination table, her legs positioned carefully in the stirrups while Chan sat beside her, his hand steady in hers. Her bladder was full as instructed, an uncomfortable pressure that added to the already mounting anxiety swirling in her chest.

Dr. Kim offered a reassuring smile as she adjusted the ultrasound equipment. "We're going to get started now. You'll feel some pressure, but it shouldn't be painful. If at any point you feel discomfort, just let me know."

Alex nodded, tightening her grip on Chan's hand as the cool ultrasound gel was applied to her abdomen. The probe pressed gently against her skin, and she tried to focus on the monitor rather than the queasy anticipation bubbling in her stomach. Chan's thumb traced soothing circles against her knuckles, his silent way of grounding her.

"You're doing great," he whispered, his voice soft but firm, the way it always was when he needed to be strong for her.

The speculum's insertion brought a mild pressure, a sensation she was familiar with from routine exams, but somehow today, it felt heavier. Alex took a slow, measured breath, staring at the ceiling tiles while Dr. Kim worked efficiently.

"Okay, Alex, I'm inserting the catheter now," the doctor said gently. "You might feel a bit of cramping."

As the thin, flexible catheter slid through her cervix, Alex winced. A dull, achy sensation bloomed in her lower abdomen, radiating outward like a slow wave of discomfort. She exhaled shakily, her other hand gripping the edge of the table. It wasn't unbearable, but it was enough to make her eyes sting with tears she stubbornly refused to let fall.

Chan noticed immediately and leaned closer. "Breathe, baby," he murmured, pressing his lips against her temple. "It's almost done."

Alex nodded, blinking rapidly to clear the moisture in her eyes. "I'm okay," she whispered, though the ache lingered, a sharp reminder of what was happening inside her body.

Dr. Kim's voice broke through her thoughts. "We're in the right position now. I'm going to release the embryo."

Alex held her breath, the moment feeling so much bigger than the small movement happening inside her. She could see it on the ultrasound screen—the faintest flicker of something, a tiny speck of hope, now within her.

"And there we go," Dr. Kim said softly. She carefully withdrew the catheter and turned to the embryologist, who nodded after inspecting the tip under the microscope. "The embryo is in place."

Alex exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, her gaze still fixed on the monitor. That tiny flicker on the screen felt surreal—so much hope wrapped up in something so small. Chan squeezed her hand, his eyes locked onto the ultrasound image with an intensity that made her chest tighten.

Dr. Kim wiped the gel from Alex's abdomen with a practiced gentleness. "You did great, Alex. Now, the next few days are important. We'll need you to rest as much as possible and avoid any strenuous activities. Your body needs the best chance to accept the embryo."

Alex nodded, her throat too tight to speak. Rest. No stress. It sounded so simple, yet she knew it would be anything but with Chan's relentless schedule pulling him away. She could already feel the weight of his absence pressing in on her, even as he sat right next to her.

Chan cleared his throat, his voice rough but steady. "And what about... emotional stress?" He glanced at Alex, concern etched in every feature.

Dr. Kim offered a small, understanding smile. "It's important to stay positive, but I know that's easier said than done. The next two weeks will be challenging, but I encourage you to find comfort in small things—routine, loved ones, and self-care. If you're able to work from home, I highly suggest doing that."

Alex nodded, absorbing the doctor's advice, though the idea of sitting still for the next two weeks felt daunting. Her mind was already spinning with thoughts of how she would fill the time—how she would keep herself from overanalyzing every twinge, every ache, every tiny sign that could mean success or heartbreak.

Chan squeezed her hand again, his thumb running over her skin in slow, rhythmic strokes. "We'll take it one day at a time," he said softly, his eyes locked on hers with unwavering devotion.

Dr. Kim smiled, packing away her equipment with practiced efficiency. "That's the best approach. We'll schedule a blood test in two weeks to check for pregnancy. In the meantime, take care of yourself, stay hydrated, and—most importantly—be patient with yourself."

Alex managed a shaky laugh. "Patience isn't exactly my strong suit."

Chan chuckled, his lips curving into a knowing smile. "Tell me about it."

Dr. Kim stood, giving them both an encouraging nod. "You have a strong support system, and that's half the battle. Take it easy today, Alex. And Chan, even if you're away, emotional support is just as important as physical."

"I understand." Chan said firmly.

Alex appreciated the sincerity in his voice, but deep down, she knew how difficult it would be for him. His tour schedule was relentless, with barely a moment to breathe, let alone be fully present for her during this critical time. She wanted to tell him that she'd be fine, that she could handle it, but the truth was, she wasn't sure. The idea of him being halfway across the world while she was stuck in limbo filled her with a quiet dread.

After Dr. Kim left, the room fell into a heavy silence. Alex sat up slowly, careful not to move too quickly. Chan helped her adjust, his touch lingering at her waist, his eyes scanning her face for any signs of discomfort.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, softer this time.

She let out a slow breath, leaning into his side. "Yeah. Just... overwhelmed, I guess."

He pressed another kiss to her forehead. "Me too," he admitted. "I hate that I have to leave tomorrow. I want to be here with you."

Alex forced a smile, resting her head against his shoulder. "I know. But we knew this would be the reality when we decided to try. You have a job, and I'm not going to hold that against you."

Chan exhaled heavily, his fingers tightening around hers. "It doesn't make it any easier."

"I know," she whispered.

They sat in silence for a few moments, letting the weight of the day settle around them. Finally, Chan pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. "What do you want to do when we get home? Anything that'll make you feel better?"

Alex thought for a moment before a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Honestly? I just want to lie on the couch, eat way too much ice cream, and watch terrible reality TV with you."

Chan chuckled, relief flickering in his expression. "Done. I'll even let you pick the show."

A few hours later, they were curled up on the couch in their apartment, the faint hum of the television filling the space between them. Alex lay nestled against Chan's chest, her head resting just beneath his chin as his arm wrapped securely around her. The flickering images of a mindless reality dating show played across the screen, the contestants' over-the-top dramatics providing a welcome distraction from the weight of the day.

Chan stroked her arm absentmindedly, his fingers tracing slow patterns against her skin. "You comfortable?" he murmured, his voice thick with exhaustion but laced with concern.

Alex hummed softly, eyes half-lidded. "Mmhmm. This is perfect."

He smiled against her hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "You sure? I can get you more pillows. Or another blanket."

She chuckled lightly, tilting her face to look up at him. "You're fussing."

"Of course I'm fussing," he said, his expression soft but serious. "I want you to be okay. Especially with me leaving tomorrow."

Alex sighed, shifting slightly to better face him. "I know, Chan. And I will be okay. Kendra and Beth will be here, and I'll be parked on this couch doing absolutely nothing." She poked his side playfully. "I promise to follow doctor's orders."

Chan's lips twitched, but there was still a trace of guilt in his eyes. "I just hate that I can't be here for the next few days. You shouldn't have to go through this alone."

She reached up, cupping his cheek gently. "I won't be alone," she said firmly. "You're doing everything you can, and I know you'd be here if you could. But your schedule is insane, and I understand that. We both knew this would be the reality, and I'm okay with it."

He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes for a brief moment before letting out a long sigh. "I just... I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Alex pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, letting her lips linger for a moment. "Me too. But you'll call, right? Every day?"

"Of course," he whispered. "Every chance I get."

She smiled faintly, curling back into his embrace. "Then that's enough for me."

They sat in comfortable silence, the glow of the TV flickering against the walls as the show continued its ridiculous antics. Alex felt her eyelids growing heavier, the emotional and physical exhaustion of the day finally catching up to her. She let herself sink into the warmth of Chan's embrace, his steady heartbeat lulling her into a state of drowsy contentment.

Just as Alex was drifting into the peaceful haze of sleep, the soft buzz of Chan's phone vibrated against his thigh. She felt his arm shift slightly as he reached for it, his movements careful not to disturb her. Through half-lidded eyes, she watched as he glanced at the screen and sighed quietly.

"It's Hyunjin," he murmured, brushing his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion. "I should take this."

Alex nodded sleepily, nuzzling closer into his chest. "Mmhm... go ahead." Her voice was barely above a whisper, heavy with exhaustion.

Chan hesitated for a moment before answering the call, his voice dropping to a gentle tone. "Hey, Jinnie."

Hyunjin's voice crackled through the speaker, warm but laced with a familiar worry. "Hey, hyung. Just wanted to check in... how's everything? How's Alex?"

Chan glanced down at her, his eyes softening as he watched her fight sleep. "She's okay," he replied quietly, his fingers continuing their absentminded tracing along her arm. "Procedure went fine, and now we're just taking it easy. She's about to pass out on me."

Hyunjin's soft chuckle came through the phone, warm and familiar. "That sounds like Alex," he said, his voice carrying a gentle fondness that made Alex's heart ache in the best way. "I wish I could be there... I hate that we're leaving tomorrow."

Alex shifted slightly, her eyelids heavy as she tilted her head up to look at Chan. His expression was tired but filled with so much affection that it made her chest tighten. She could hear the worry in Hyunjin's voice, the same kind of guilt Chan had been carrying all day. She mustered up enough energy to mumble, "You guys are such worriers..."

Chan huffed a soft laugh, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You're stuck with us," he murmured before returning his attention to the phone. "We both wish you were here, too, man. It's... hard leaving right now."

There was a pause on Hyunjin's end, the weight of unspoken words lingering between them. "I know," he said quietly. "But she's strong. She'll be okay."

Alex smiled sleepily, letting the warmth of their concern settle over her. She reached for the phone with sluggish fingers, and Chan handed it over carefully. "Hey, Jinnie," she whispered, her voice thick with drowsiness.

"Hey, beautiful," Hyunjin's voice softened even more, the familiar term of endearment making her stomach flutter despite the exhaustion. "You should be sleeping."

"I'm trying," she murmured, closing her eyes. "But you two keep talking about me like I'm not here."

Hyunjin chuckled again, a low and soothing sound. "Sorry, sorry. We just... want to make sure you're okay. This is a big deal."

Alex hummed softly, the heaviness of sleep tugging at her again. "I know. But I'm okay. You guys just do your thing. I'll be here when you get back."

There was a slight hesitation before Hyunjin spoke again, his voice quieter this time. "I still don't like leaving you, though. Six days feels way too long."

Alex sighed, shifting deeper into Chan's chest. "It'll fly by," she reassured him, even as a small part of her worried about how long six days would actually feel without them. "Kendra and Beth will keep me entertained. And I have plenty of terrible TV to watch."

Chan ran his hand through her hair, his touch light and soothing. "We'll be back before you know it," he promised, though Alex could hear the reluctance in his tone.

"Yeah," Hyunjin echoed softly. "And I'll call you every night. Just so you don't forget about me."

Alex smiled faintly, her grip on the phone loosening as sleep started to claim her. "Never," she whispered. "Love you, Jinnie..."

There was a sharp inhale on the other end of the line, followed by a beat of silence before Hyunjin's voice came through, thick with emotion. "Love you too, Alex. Get some rest, okay?"

She didn't reply, already drifting into sleep, but Chan felt the way her breathing evened out, the weight of the day finally settling into exhaustion. He held the phone to his ear, lowering his voice. "She's out."

Hyunjin sighed. "I hate this, hyung. I hate that we have to leave her now."

Chan rubbed a hand over his face, staring down at Alex, who was curled so perfectly against him. "I know, Jinnie. I'm doing my best not to think of all the ways this could go wrong while we are gone."

Hyunjin's sigh on the other end of the call was heavy with the same guilt and worry that weighed on Chan. "I keep thinking about it too," he admitted, his voice quieter now. "She's going to be here without us, and even though I know she's strong, I... I don't want her to feel alone."

Chan glanced down at Alex, her features softened in sleep, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm against him. His fingers traced gentle patterns along her arm, grounding himself in the simple reassurance of her presence. "She won't be alone," he said softly, but it felt like he was trying to convince himself more than Hyunjin. "She has Kendra and Beth. And we'll check in every day."

"It's not the same," Hyunjin murmured, frustration evident in his tone. "I hate that our schedule is this crazy right now. I hate that she has to go through this without us there."

Chan closed his eyes briefly, feeling the same helplessness curl in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to stay right here, holding Alex through the next two weeks, making sure she didn't have to face any of it alone. But the reality of their careers didn't allow for that luxury. The 5-STAR Dome Tour was in full swing, and their commitments were relentless. Six days away felt like an eternity, and yet, it was just a fraction of the time they would spend apart in the coming months.

"I know, man," Chan sighed, rubbing at his temple. "I know. But she's counting on us to be strong about this. She needs to see that we're confident, even when we're not."

After a brief pause, Hyunjin's voice softened again. "You think... you're ready for this? Being a dad?"

Chan swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on Alex's sleeping form. It was the question that had been sitting at the back of his mind for weeks, gnawing at him in the quiet moments between rehearsals and meetings. "Honestly?" he murmured. "I don't know. I want to be. But I'm scared, Jinnie. Scared that I won't be here enough. That I won't be the father Alex and the baby deserve."

Hyunjin was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "You're going to be an amazing dad, hyung. I know it. And Alex knows it, too. If she didn't, she wouldn't be doing this with you."

Chan exhaled slowly, feeling some of the tension ease in his chest. "Thanks, man. I needed to hear that."

"Always," Hyunjin said softly. "Now go cuddle your girl and get some sleep while you can. I'll see you at the airport."

"Yeah. See you soon," Chan replied, hanging up the call and placing his phone on the coffee table. He looked down at Alex, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. Carefully, he shifted so he could pull her closer, wrapping his arms around her securely.

"I'll be back before you know it," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Alex murmured something unintelligible in her sleep, her body instinctively curling deeper into his embrace. Chan closed his eyes, holding onto her as if it could somehow make up for the days he wouldn't be by her side.