Chapter Twelve

A second bead curls on his rounded cheek, swaying down to the edge until it drops onto the collar of Jisung's shirt. It's the first, but not the last.

Another glimmering pearl falls by the same trail, but by contrast gets bundled in a palm. They press against his eyes, shoving the liquid back into his body in an attempt to push the heartache to the side. The effort gets thrown in vain because the gesture instead stimulates a sudden waterfall.

Papers lay by his side on the bed. Papers he wants to burn along with his self-worth. His bedroom is dimly lit, only his yellow floor lamp sparkling through on the lowest strength. Two pairs of feet shuffle outside his door. They have been for a while now.

"Sung?" A soft voice calls. A voice he's heard too many times in too many similar situations. "Are you okay?"

Jisung's sleeve comes to his aid and wipes away the evidence crumbling on his reddening face. "Yeah." He faintly nods to himself. "I'm okay," he reassures, but it isn't enough to satisfy his roommates, so he continues. "Just watching 'A silent voice' again," he tries with a defeated chuckle.

Chan's hum vibrates through the air. "You know it's okay not to be, yeah?"

He doesn't want to burden his bandmates any more like he does by eating the kitchen empty. Or by being stuck in a writer's block, not having written new song lyrics in weeks. It all makes a particular clump swarm in his stomach, readying itself to spring out from between his lips.

With a thick swallow, Jisung speaks. "I know."

Chan and Changbin regularly make it clear to him that they'll always be there for him, and Jisung knows that it's true, genuine. It's more of an internal issue with his pride.

That's why he gently lets them know he's fine, that it'll all be over soon. And they eat it up, aware that Jisung will come to them once the eye of the storm has passed.

***

"Jisung still lives with you, right?"

Changbin glances at his colleague as he cleans the large coffee brewer. "Obviously," he jokes.

"Oh, okay," Minho says, not moving his eyes from the machine.

"Is something wrong?" Changbin inquires. Since Minho is so well acquainted with Jisung, he hardly seeks information about him through mutual friends. Changbin could even argue that Minho knows more about Jisung than he does himself. Despite only recently becoming friends, they've gotten attached by the hip; theoretically and physically.

Without an immediate answer, Changbin instead manoeuvres from the cash register over to the sink to wash the dirty dishes. Now he stands closer to his colleague while also getting a clearer view of his face. Even if Changbin can't read Minho's expressions that well, he can take notice of plain blushing.

"Nothing, really." Minho shrugs. "He just hasn't been answering my messages as often." It's not that Jisung hasn't been answering Minho's messages as often, he hasn't been answering at all. The last message Jisung replied to was a picture of Doongie in a christmas hat where Jisung responded with: 'Cute, just like Minho hyung'.

Changbin nods, drizzling some dawn onto the dish sponge. Wet gloves aren't the most ideal texture, but they'll have to do for a few minutes. "There's a lot going on with school right now, but I'm sure he'll reply once it's over."

The elder hums. Minho knows it's tough with school and midterm exams, but that never ceased to stop Jisung before, so why now? "How's it going with Seungmin?" Minho asks, deciding to divert the subject.

Changbin exhales. "It's okay, he's still a bit standoffish at times, but he's coming around." He knows what Minho's doing, but he won't inquire further if that displeases his senior.

"It's all just a facade, y'know," Minho professes, watching the machine's metal glisten under the pink rag's strokes.

With a hum, Changbin agrees. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm sure the sight of your muscles is what makes him malfunction," Minho says with a delinquent grin, wiggling his eyebrows as his elbow nudges the latter's.

Changbin's cheeks tense up in a smile. "I mean, he appreciates them." He tries to shrug nonchalantly, but the red tint on his face isn't doing him a favour.

Minho's head gets thrown back into a fit of laughter. "Aigoooo," he coos at the blush. "Our Changbinnie is so cute," he murmurs, further egging Changbin on to do his frightfully cringe 'aegyo' act.

Soon enough, Changbin purses his lips, presses his pointer-finger to his left cheek, raising his eyebrows and tries to act cute. Minho watches the scene with delight, loudly laughing and faintly clapping his hands like a seal. Their colleagues, Hyunjin and Seungmin would most probably act disgusted, but Minho likes the little stunt.

Changbin breaks into a smile, the act crumbling a second after it arrives. The flush intensifies as Seungmin walks out from the staff-rooms. Having watched the play act out in front of him with widened eyes and a wrinkled nose.

Once Minho takes notice of the third shadow, his laugh escalates and he points a finger at the puppy boy's expression. Changbin glances over and his smile drops to the floor, his cheeks heating up.

"Is this supposed to be a bad horror movie?" Ryujin grimaces from behind the manager.

"It was better than your birth," Minho laughs as the pleasant sounds come to an end.

She rolls her eyes. "Mine was a gift, yours was a curse," she says as she strolls beside her brother. Ryujin observes a brown cat brush against her leg, gently laying down on top of her black Vans.

"A gift from the devil," Minho retorts.

"Because I'm a lesbian?" She shifts her gaze from the cute cat to her brother, watching him sneer.

"Oh please." He rolls his eyes. "God knew how gay you'd be, so he made your sole purpose breathing lesbian air inside of a closet."

Ryujin shrugs. "I was with Yeji so that's fine."

They then turn to look at Changbin and Seungmin who've been awfully quiet since Minho and Ryujin began bickering. The two are in the middle of tiptoeing back into the staff rooms, a leading hand guiding Changbin behind the latter.

The door briskly shuts and muffled sounds begin seething through the cracks.

Minho and Ryujin share a glance and their faces wrinkle with disgust.

"He's supposed to be the manager?" Minho questions, moving towards the cash register when the entry's doorbell rings.

"I expected more of him," Ryujin adds with a heavy sigh.

Suddenly the door to the staff room is busting open, getting slammed shut as Hyunjin plasters himself to the wall as a starfish. His eyes are blown wide, his chest heavily rising up and down as he pants fiercely. The cafe has gone quiet, customers looking over to see what the commotion is about.

Ryujin is quick to bow and apologise, making the chatter slowly arise again. The cats haven't moved much, only a few startled into their miniature homes.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Minho whisper-shouts at Hyunjin. He watches the boy become offended, detaching himself from the now locked door with his mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?! What the fuck is wrong with them?!" Hyunjin frantically points at the door. "They were about to fuck with me in the fucking room with them!"

Minho shrugs. "Let them. It's not often Seungmin gets to that level of desperation," he says apathetically while he stands behind the cash register to take care of the new customers.

Hyunjin's hands find themselves in his pink hair, brutally pulling at it, creating the illusion of two pigtails. "Am I supposed to submit to trauma now?!"

The woman of the three workers laughs as she begins brewing the first order. "It's a canon event, nobody can interfere, Jin," Ryujin chuckles.

"Bullshit!" He calls. "You two just like seeing me suffer!" Hyunjin shouts as quietly as he can manage.

"Yeah, that too," Minho chimes, getting beside his sister to make an Iced Latte.

***

Still no new messages. Their chat has been drier than Chan's unshaved ass.

Minho stares at his delivered messages, unknowing of what to write next.

Sat, 3rd Oct at 5:49 p.m.M: *Image attached*Doongie

J: CuteJust like Minho hyung

M: Right?❤️ Liked by 'Jisungie'

Mon, 5th Oct at 3:14 p.m.M: you have your maths exam this week, right?Good luck❤️ Liked by 'Jisungie'

I'm sure you'll do great, Jagi❤️ Liked by 'Jisungie'

Tue, 6th Oct at 9:02 a.m.M: I think you said it was today, so good luck!!Seen

↳ 3:39 p.m.M: how'd it go??Delivered

Sat, 9th Oct at 7:21 p.m.M: It feels sort of weird not having the tutoring sessions, right?

at least for meidk abt youDelivered

Will it look pathetic if Minho tries to message him again? He's already tried calling Jisung twice. Should he visit his apartment? No, that'd be creepy. But it's not like Minho really cares about what people perceive of him. He just wants to make sure Jisung is okay after all.

But what if Jisung gets repulsed by him suddenly appearing? What if Jisung doesn't want to speak to Minho anymore? But what would Minho have done for it to turn out this way?

Thoughts rush through his mind as the longed sleep races down onto his eyelids. But he doesn't want to sleep just yet.

Minho shoves the comfortable sheets away and arises from his bed to wobble his way into the kitchen. Felix and Hyunjin lay cuddled in the couch together, having fallen asleep during a series marathon.

A faint smile falls onto the elder's lips at the display.

Although he wishes it was him and Jisung on that couch right now, cuddling.

Minho quietly strolls along the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the bright numbers displayed on the microwave.

02:32 A.M.

He really should be gathering his required hours of sleep since he opens the cafe at 7 a.m. But he couldn't care less right now. With a hazy mind Minho gets a cup of pudding from the fridge and a small spoon from one of the drawers.

"Can't sleep?"

The elder jumps at the sudden voice. "'The fuck?" He curses, turning around to meet a somewhat bright Hwang Hyunjin.

But the boy just shrugs and, too, gets a cup of pudding. "Me too, bro," Hyunjin slurs with fatigue.

Minho merely watches him with a bare expression. "I never knew 'bro' could sound so gay." The boy shivers. "Your existence never ceases to surprise me."

Hyunjin gasps in retaliation, promptly finding himself whisper-shouting. "I sound very straight, thank you very much!"

A scoff shoves itself past Minho's lips. "Really?"

"Mhm," Hyunjin chimes.

"Jin-ah," Felix suddenly calls in a soft tone. He's still lying on the couch, hidden away underneath a mountain of covers. "C'mere, I need you."

"Aw," Hyunjin coos. "I'm coming, baby." But before he manages to end his sentence, he catches himself in the act with the abrupt delicate tone that's washed over his voice to talk to his significant other. He hesitantly glances at Minho who's got one eyebrow raised.

Hyunjin sighs. "Fine. You win."

Minho sneers happily, beginning to tip-toe back into his room, however Hyunjin catches a hold of the elder's arm.

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin asks, which apprehends Minho off-guard, having him snapping his head in a twirl.

"What?"

"Y'know," the latter begins. "Since you and Jisung haven't talked in a while."

"I'm fine."

But Hyunjin doesn't believe him. It's been so long since he saw Minho so entranced by another man. "Are you sure?" He knows Jisung is special. He holds something so captivating that it has managed to catch hold of Minho's entire mental faculties.

"Jin." Minho sighs. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"Don't tell me not to worry." Hyunjin knits his eyebrows together as his stare hardens. "I care about you, Hyung. If something's wrong, I want you to tell me."

Minho's gaze slackens and his eyes crease with a grin. "I know. I will."

The younger boy winds them up in a comforting, snug embrace. They stay like that for a while. Pudding going soft in their hands.

Without many words, they go their separate ways.

Hyunjin: To his tender boyfriend in need of a plush body to hold onto. Minho: To his cold, empty room.

God's got his favourites, he guesses.

***

Minho shivers behind his hoodie, feet going cold in his shoes. He should've brought a jacket. Whatever. He's already on his way now.

A knock lands itself on 3racha's apartment door. With a deep breath, Minho tries to stabilise his thoughts. He's gone over what he's planned to say at least fifty times. He's ready.

Or maybe not. Because the moment the door handle moves downwards, his breath gets stuck in his throat and he doesn't remember how to function.

It's been three weeks. Jisung hasn't responded to any of his messages. Maybe he just forgot to reply. Or maybe he just forgot about Minho alone.

A small paper bag hangs from one of his hands. It's not much, but it's something. He hopes Jisung will like it.

Once the door swings open, Minho feels his stomach drop. His feet twitch with an itch, wanting to run away. He feels stupid- no, desperate for having thought this would work.

"Minho?" Chan inquires, surprised at the sudden appearance. He's used to Minho coming over, but the boy usually syncs himself with Jisung and they come home together, it's typically never a solitary visit.

Minho chews at his bottom lip, a habit he retrieved from the boy he's seeking for himself. He swallows hard before speaking, trying to get rid of the tightness in his chest that's beginning to cloud his already hazy mind. "Is Jisung home?"

"Ah." The elder gasps with a hum. "I'm pretty sure he's at the Studio right now, and I'm sadly not sure when he'll be back since he's in a lyrical flow at the moment."

Minho hums, evidently avoiding to grasp Chan's eyes in eye-contact, lowering his head to avoid the moisture blurring his vision. "Oh," he merely exhales with a nod. He then reaches to hand Chan the small paper bag he's been holding.

Chan grabs it from the latter, watching him with curious eyes. "It's for Jisung, I suppose?" He tries with a grin, but Minho just diverts his gaze.

The boy nods again.

With a mind filled with new inquiries, Minho bids his goodbyes and leaves. Chan watches him walk away, disturbed at the unusual behaviour he's just witnessed.

He tries to leave the failed mission with a smile. He really does. But Minho's eyes sting with guilt, threatening to break him down in the middle of the street. His chin trembles as he slams the door to his own apartment shut. Nobody's home. It's just him. Again.

***

The longed figure stands up from where he'd hidden himself from behind the elevator, having stood by the emergency staircase. He takes slow, heavy steps towards the door as he gnaws on his already bruised lower lip. Jisung tries to enter the apartment as quietly as possible, but the attempt doesn't go unnoticed and soon enough, he's being caught by Chan.

"Oh! Sung, you're back early," Chan cheers.

Jisung purely hums in response, trying to kick his shoes off of his feet to hurry into his room. But before he knows it, Chan has neared him with a small, brown paper bag.

"Here." Chan grins, handing his bandmate the present. "Minho just left, but he got this for you." He watches as Jisung gently grabs it from his hold. "I'm sure he hasn't gone far, you can call him and he'll probably just be around the corner to get back-"

"I'm not really in the mood, hyung."

With no explanation, Jisung ends the conversation with a slumped posture and a clenched jaw. He slams the door shut to his room, the internal anger he's been piling up these past few weeks bubbling once again.

Chan just stares at the abruptly blank space where his roommate had just stood. He's starting to connect the dots. The past few weeks, Chan has been quite occupied with their new album, but his bandmates' mental health is his priority.

***

Jisung glances into the paper bag. An iced americano and a slice of chocolate cheesecake. His lips involuntarily quiver upwards as the pleasant smell fills his lungs. The supposed ice cubes are mere white dots, but it makes something in his stomach hitch.

His eyes then catch the sight of a pink coloured cat-shaped note sitting at the bottom. The boy hesitantly picks it up and reads the printed text on top.

An aching smile tickles at his lips, pulling them apart into his heart-shaped grin.

'Paw-don me, I'm feline sad. Whisker me away, paw-lease. Purr-haps we can cuddle?'