11 realization

Y/N's POV | Few weeks later |

I was in my class when I got a message from Jungkook. 

[ Text ]

JK: When will your class end?

Y/N: At 4. Why?

JK: Nothing just wanted to kiss you. Okay see ya later.

[ End of Text ]

Why is he so flirty all the time?

Mina: Why are you blushing?

Y/N: Umm....no I am not blushing. It's just too hot in here.

Mina: It's Jungkook, isn't it?

Y/N: It's nothing Mina...

Mina: Show me your phone!!

Y/N: Wait what?? Nooooo...

Mina: Come on babe it's just me. I wanna see. Show me please. 

Then she just snatched my phone from my hand and I just sighed.

Mina: Oh my god. He is so romantic. Aww.

Y/N: In my dreams. All he wants are kisses. 

Mina: Kiss is also a romantic thing. Btw I will leave now. My other class will start now.

Y/N: Ok. See ya.

After Class

I got out of the class and went towards the main gate. As I stepped out of the building a familiar car stopped in front of the building. I was shocked to see the person. But I was also a little happy to see that person. It's my dad. Also it was the first time he came to my university.

Y/N: Dad!!!

I called him excitedly and quickly went to him. But he had a cold expression on his face. 

Y/N: Dad what are you doing here?

Dad: Follow me. I need to talk to you.

Then he started making his way to the corner where there weren't too many people. I followed and stood behind him. Then he turned to me. His eyes were red out of anger. But I don't know why he is angry. 

Dad: You bloody fool. How much do I have to suffer for you?

I was confused and shocked after hearing his words. 

Y/N: What are you talking about?

Dad: Because of you I had lost a very important project and a client. 

Y/N: What? But how can you lose it because of me?

Suddenly he harshly grabbed my jaw. He was clenching his hand and it was hurting me. 

Dad: Because Kai is my client's son. Because of you Jungkook beated Kai and his father got angry. And now he cancelled all of our deals. 

Y/N: But dad he was the one who touched and talked inappropriately about me. 

Dad: I don't care how he behaved but couldn't you tolerate that much? I clearly remember mentioning his name in front of you before. So you already knew who he was, but still you let this happen? Now how will you pay up for this you slut?

Tears trekked down from my eyes when he called me a slut. How can he call his own daughter a slut when someone else forcefully touched her? He was still holding my jaw tightly. 

Y/N: Dad let me go. You are hurting me.

Dad: Not until you.....

???: What the fuck are you doing to her? 

His words got cut when a voice interrupted him. I was relieved when I heard that voice. It was Jungkook who was clearly more angry than my dad. He came near us and slapped my dad's hand off me. He turned to me and checked my face which had become red because of the pressure. I had tears in my eyes as I looked up at him. 

JK: Are you okay baby? Is it hurting?

Y/N: N-no.....

I stuttered because of sobbing. His eyes became red as he shot a death glare at my dad.

JK: What the fuck was that for?

Dad: Jungkook , you don't know how much loss I had to face because of her. I lost my precious client. 

JK: Don't you know that motherfucker was the one who has started all this? I didn't kill him that day just because he was your client's son. And now you are coming here and accusing her. What a shitty person you are!

Dad: No Jungkook look, it's not like that.

My dad was slightly scared right now because of Jungkook.

JK: Listen you old man. From now on try to lay a single finger on her and I will bury you in that same place. Now don't you dare to utter a single word in front of me. Let's go baby.

He hugged my shoulder and led me to his car. He opened the car door for me and then got inside himself. I couldn't think straight as my vision was blurry. I was continuously wiping them and they were flowing. He looked at me and sighed.

JK: Are you okay?

I just nodded my head, unable to say anything. He looked at the road and started driving. So many thoughts started coming into my mind about everything. Why does my dad never love me? Why did mom die so early? Why don't I have many friends? Why doesn't my fiance love me? 

Then I remembered what Jungkook told me that day. "I now get why your dad doesn't love you a bit. It's because you are so desperate for that shit." Maybe he was right. Because of my desperation nobody loves me. Maybe I should stop seeking love. Maybe I should stop expecting anything from anyone. 

After reaching home I silently got inside the washroom turning on the shower. Hot water touched my body. It's been an hour and I was still under the shower. 

Jungkook's POV 

I started worrying. It's been more than an hour. She is still in the shower. I can't hear a single sound except the water. I was scared that she might not be okay. What if she collapsed? I couldn't wait anymore and started knocking on the door. 

JK: Baby....are you done? What have you been doing for so long? 

No answer.

JK: Princess, answer me, are you okay?

Again no answer. 

JK: Y/N what are you doing? Open the door now. Yah Y/N open the goddamn door.

Again no answer.

JK: If you don't open it in a minute then I will break the door. I won't care if you are naked or not.

I waited for a minute which felt like an eternity. One minute passed but she didn't open the door. 

JK: Fine I am coming inside. 

I was about to push the door when she suddenly opened the door. Her face was blank which broke my heart. She was never like that. I have never seen such a blank expression on her face. I hugged her tightly as I was relieved that she was okay.

JK: You scared the shit out of me. What took you so long, hmm princess?

She didn't answer nor hugged me back. I broke the hug to look at her. Again that blank face which I am hating right now.

JK: What happened? 

Y/N: Jungkook....

Finally she spoke.

JK: Yes princess? Tell me.

Y/N: I think you are right.

JK: About what?

Y/N: That day at my dad's place when you said that maybe nobody loves me because of my desperation. I thought about it. And I think you are right. I was always so desperate that I couldn't see reality. I was not borned to be loved. Only my mom who maybe loved me died. And since then no one actually loved me. My dad, my friends and now not even you.

I felt a sharp pain in my heart when she said the last part that I don't even love her. Then she continued again.

Y/N: But now I fully understand. Love is not something I should expect in my life because at the end of the day I won't be getting it. The desperation to get love will just make me look pathetic. So from now I will stop. I am so sorry Jungkook for disturbing you about this. But I promise that I will never mention or want you to love me anymore. I am sorry again. I actually don't deserve it.

She sadly chuckled and it was enough for me. I can never see her like this. I can never let her feel so unloved and unwanted when here I am dying for her every second. Here my dumb heart couldn't realise it's own feelings. It took me so long to understand. But now I won't let her feel unloved anymore because it's not the truth. Does she know someone is ready to even die for her?

I cupped her face and made her look at me. Her stares were sad. Full of pain.

JK: Listen to me princess. Don't ever say sorry for expecting love from me. Don't ever say that you don't deserve to be loved because if you are not the most deserving person for love then I don't know who is. You should expect love from anyone in your life. At least from me.

She looked at me confused. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on her's. I deeply looked into her beautiful dark orbs which were now shining in tears.

JK: I am sorry for being late. I love you. I am sorry for being a dickhead but I love you so fucking much. I just realised it late. Will you forgive me for that?

She was crying in disbelief. She was definitely happy but suspicious too.

Y/N: You really love me? Are you telling the truth?

She said while crying. I nodded my head.

JK: Yes baby. I love you. I love you a lot. I think it's impossible for me to even breathe without loving you. You are just my life. I can't imagine anything in my life without you. Please stay with me forever. Will you?

She nodded her head quickly and tightly hugged me which I instantly returned. 

Y/N: Thank you. 

That's the last word she said before crying her heart out in my chest soaking my shirt completely. I planted a kiss on her head.

JK: I love you a lot angel.