Chapter 4

When they got back, some of them were in high spirits, and others were so annoyed they wanted to punch a certain bubbly blonde. Akashi included in the latter group.

"Ne, Akashicchi, can I sleep on the right side? The left side is closer to the door, and so some robber might come in and kill me so I'm scared," Kise chatted to Akashi.

"Well, someone could climb in from the window. Plus there are so many rooms in this hotel, there's no chance that someone would go to our room. Also, robbers steal, they don't kill people," Akashi tried to reason with Kise.

"I don't care. I'm sleeping on the right side," Kise sulked, and Akashi thought that he really didn't have a choice after all. He didn't mind. Sleeping with Kise was all the same. Horrible.

"Alright, let's go to sleep now. You've worked hard today and you need some rest." Akashi sat on the edge of the bed.

Kise was already halfway lying down when he sat up again.

"What's wrong?" Akashi couldn't believe Kise was stalling. Was he going to watch TV or go to the bathroom or something?

"Why aren't you going to sleep, Akashicchi? I don't bite," Kise asked innocently.

"I will, after you get under the covers."

Kise happily complied, and Akashi internally sighed, getting into the bed and trying to stay as far away from Kise as possible. Akashi could literally sense Kise opening his mouth to ask or say something.

"Kise. Please no questions or anything. I want to sleep." Akashi stated before Kise could say anything. He knew from experience at middle school training camp that Kise was going to ask some deep, stupid questions, or comment something absurdly strange.

"Come closer, Akashicchi. I'm cold," Kise whined, ignoring Akashi's words.

"How are you cold? I'm smaller than you and I'm fine," Akashi said, disbelieving.

Kise was silent for a while, and Akashi was just about to drift off when Kise's voice cut into his peace again.

"It's because your heart is so cold, and the coldness is radiating off you, Akashicchi," Kise said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Akashi replied, annoyed.

"You're so mean and cruel sometimes," Kise whispered.

"Really," Akashi grumbled.

Without any warning, Kise had moved over closer to Akashi and wrapped his arms around the smaller redhead. Akashi shifted uncomfortably.

"If I'm cold, then why are you hugging me? Aren't you going to be more cold?"

"No, my heart is warm, and I'm bigger than you, so I'm going to warm you up."

Akashi sighed at Kise's horribly flawed logic.

"Fine. Do what you want, but just be quiet and let me sleep."

Instead of warmth, Akashi could feel happiness radiating off the blonde as he snuggled closer to Akashi. He could feel Kise's soft hair brushing against his neck, and his chin resting on the edge of Akashi's shoulder. Kise's contented breaths tickled Akashi. For some reason, Akashi's heart was beating faster and he felt shivers along his spine. It's only normal. Teenage hormones... sleeping against someone... But even so...being aroused by a guy... Akashi's head was spinning, so he tried to calm himself and closed his eyes, plunging into the safety of a black nothingness.

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It was an hour or few when Akashi suddenly woke up. Perhaps it was the coffee from earlier, or some other incomprehensible reason. Kise's arms were wrapped more tightly around Akashi now, and one leg was slung over his. As Akashi shifted slightly in Kise's embrace, he felt something wet on his shoulder, maybe some drops of water on his neck. Out of instinct, he tried to reach up to wipe it away.

"A-aka-shicchi?" Kise's voice was weaker, quieter now; he was trying to hide the trembling, but Akashi could tell. "Why are you still awake?"

Akashi felt Kise's arms drop from around him and heard the rustle of sheets as Kise sat up. Akashi turned over to look at the blonde.

"I just only woke up. What time is it?" Akashi replied nonchalantly.

When Kise didn't reply and just sat there, Akashi knew something was wrong.

"Kise. Is there something wrong? Are you alright?"

Kise turned towards the sound of his voice, then looked away.

"I-I don't know," Kise said with a small voice, and it sounded like his heart was breaking.

Akashi sat up as well, staring intensely at the blonde who was avoiding his gaze.

"Kise," Akashi repeated, his hand coming to a rest on Kise's shoulder blades.

The teen looked at him for one fleeting moment, glanced away, and then looked at Akashi again.

Akashi was struck by lightning.

Kise's eyes were brimming with tears, but he was still gazing blindly at Akashi, probably hoping that Akashi couldn't see his face in the dark. But the soft, silvery moonlight coming in from the window was enough to see Kise's glassy eyes, wet with sorrow. One luminous drop escaped and tumbled down the side of Kise's face. Kise started blinking rapidly, but it didn't help as more tears started streaming down.

"I-I..A-kashicchi..." Kise stammered.

Akashi hoisted himself closer to Kise, who was now shamelessly wiping his tears away, inhaling quickly, trembling, trying to control himself.

"I-I...Why- Why does it... seem like everybody hates me?" Kise finally managed to whisper.

"Am I not good enough? Why? I'm so lonely Akashicchi, nobody- I feel like no one likes me, wants me. All the fangirls don't...count, they don't care about me. No one does- What's wrong with me? Akashicchi? Why do you hate me?" Kise continued in anguish. His chest was heaving now, and his breath came in ragged, sharp gasps.

Akashi never thought that someone as happy as Kise would be so broken and sad. Was he like this every night? Alone and feeling worthless, hiding all his feelings behind a mask?

How am I going to do this? I was never good at comforting people... Akashi was panicking inwardly.

"No one hates you, Kise. You're not worthless, you have so much potential, you're pretty much good at everything." Akashi paused, then continued. "It's alright, I'm here for you- I'll always be here if you ever feel lonely."

The tears were flowing more rapidly now, Kise aimlessly trying to wipe them off. "Kurokocchi... he turned me down... beat me... then he won again... I can't do anything. Even in today's game. I'm so useless. Aominecchi..beating me...getting injured...I let my teammates down...I'm so..."

Akashi was struck again by the truthfulness of Kise's words. It was so heartbreaking. Suddenly Akashi felt a rush of anger. Hatred, fury, and rage to all those who had hurt Kise. Those who had taunted him, belittled him, underestimated him. All Akashi could see was Kise's anguished, distressed face streaked with tears. Blood was pumping loudly in his ears and Kise's image swirled and distorted.

"It will be okay, Ryota. No one is ever going to hurt you anymore."