♡41

I can't concentrate on anything. All I can think about is my conversation with Jake.

"Listen, Y/n," Sunghoon says, breaking me out of my trance. "I am sorry I have been giving you a hard time. Tim seems like a really great guy and you do deserve that. Sohyun was talking to me and made me realize that I need to step back. My behavior isn't helping your situation and that should be my priority. For the time we have left here, I will be better. I promise. And I will apologize to Tim, too."

Sohyun told him this? Wow, she and Jake need to get on the same page. While he was giving me a pep talk on how great Sunghoon is, she was telling Sunghoon how terrible he had been.

"We aren't together." I blurt out before I can think about it. Why did I say that? "Tim, I mean. We aren't together."

"I know." He nods. "There was no presence of you in his car. It didn't smell like you, your music wasn't playing, nothing in the car said you were there on a daily basis. Same thing with his room. No sign of you at all."

"You went into his room?"

"I was looking for the bathroom." He shrugs, but I can tell he is lying.

"You just said all that stuff about how he was nice and I deserved that."

"You do deserve someone nice. And I didn't want to out you for having a fake boyfriend. I am sorry you felt you needed to pretend to be with him to keep me from bothering you."

My chest tightens. He says it so casually, like it's the simplest thing in the world. And it shouldn't be. Not after everything between us. Has he really gotten over it, just like that?

"You don't get to say things like that," I shake my head, though my voice trembles. "Not after what happened."

Sunghoon doesn't flinch. His eyes stay locked on mine, steady and unyielding.

"I know I ruined it. I ruined us. And I've hated myself for it every single day." His voice is low and he doesn't move. "I know I should let you go. Sohyun seems to think it is what is best for you. I told her if coming here and apologizing didn't work I would leave you alone and let you live your life." What is happening? Is he dumping me all over again? "But Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I would like to get to a time where we can be friends." He is looking at the ground, not at the wombats and not at me. "I don't think I am going to be ready for that anytime soon, but I need to know that is at least an option."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. For so long, I told myself I was moving on. That I would be healed in time.

But standing here, listening to him talk about letting me go and friendship down the road nearly breaks me all over again. My chest is tight and I am not getting enough air to my lungs.

"You're just giving up on me?" I whisper, more to myself than to him.

"I am giving you what you want, Peaches." His voice is soft, almost matching my whisper. "It is what you want, isn't it?"

I am silent, looking straight ahead at the wombats. I don't want to answer him. I don't want to look as weak as I feel. But he reaches forward and wipes a tear from my face, gently turning my head to look up at him. There are tears in his eyes too.

"Say the word and I will stay. Tell me that you don't want me to give up and I won't." He runs his thumb over my bottom lip and I can taste the tears he wiped off my face. "I love you, Y/n. I love you so much that I think I might explode sometimes. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I sleep. You fill my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night. I will never not love you." He inhales sharply. "It is because I love you that I will let you go if you want me to."

"I don't..." My voice is still low and my eyes dart to the side.

"What?" He takes a step forward, his eyes wide and hopeful. "You don't what? I need you to say exactly what you mean right now."

"I don't want you to let me go." I tell him, more tears falling. "I love you, too, you dumbass."

The second the words leave my mouth, his breath catches like he wasn't expecting to hear them. His hand is still cupping my cheek, his thumb trembling just slightly against my skin.

For a moment, neither of us move. It's as if the world has stilled, the wombats, the chatter in the distance, even the air itself holding its breath.

"You..." His voice cracks and he swallows hard. "Say it again."

"I love you, Sunghoon." My lips quiver, but I don't look away. "I've always loved you. Even when I tried to hate you. Even when I pretended I was moving on. It's always been you."

Something in his expression shatters, like all the walls he's built for this conversation are crumbling. And then he's pulling me against him, his arms wrapping around me so tight I can barely breathe.

His face buries into the crook of my neck, his voice muffled but desperate.

"God, Peaches, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that. I thought I'd lost you forever."

"Yeah, me too."

"I swear nothing like this will ever happen again. I will never put you in this position ever again." He stands up, looking back at my face. "You have my word. It's you and only you for here and for forever."

"Sunghoon." I giggle, shaking my head at his dramatics.

"I mean it. I never want to be apart from you again for as long as I live."

He leans down and kisses me.

It's desperate, unpracticed, like he's terrified I'll vanish if he doesn't hold on tight enough. His mouth claims mine with an intense hunger, and for a second, all I can do is cling to his shirt and let myself drown in him.

But then the desperation softens. His lips slow, molding against mine with a tenderness that is familiar. He pulls back just slightly, his forehead resting against mine. Our breath mingles, uneven and shaky, before he kisses me again, slower this time, savoring it.

The taste of salt lingers between us and I am unsure if it is his tears or my tears. Maybe a mixture of both. His hand slides from my cheek to the back of my neck, his thumb stroking the skin there softly.

"I'm never letting you go again." He whispers, voice rough. We are oblivious to anything around us.

"You better not," I whisper back, still breathless.

"It is you and me forever, Peaches." He promises. "Marry me?"