Part 33 - Dinner

Pugsley

I don't bother to take my shoes off as the sound of the cottage front door closing behind me echoes down the dimly lit hallway.

There wasn't a soul in sight that came out to greet me upon entry this fine evening, but that was what I had expected to happen. I was rather early after all, but I only showed up 20 minutes prior to the agreed upon time so I could spend some time with my plants before dinner.

Distant chatter and the sound of sizzling pans travelled down from the kitchen, and the lovely scent of roadkill pot pie landed itself upon my senses, and I could practically feel my stomach cry out in hunger. The eating portion of tonight had to wait until Wednesday showed up, but until then, I'd find my parents first and say hello.

I made my way down the hall, passing by the kitchen where I gave a quick greeting to Lurch, who was currently preparing dinner, and I soon entered the living room, where my mother and father sat side by side being romantic with one another like they always were. 

No matter how much time passes, their love never ceases to amaze me. The connection they have is the kind of true bond I wish to have with someone one day, someone who I can love unconditionally, through every hour of every day, and have them never get sick of my affection.

Someone who finds comfort in my presence, just as much as I find comfort in theirs, and who accepts all of me, just as I am.

I have so much love to give, but not anyone to give it to. At least not in every aspect that I wish it to be given. I have my friends, but that's different.

I want romance. I want late night talks and shared memories of things we never thought we'd do, the simple pleasure of just enjoying the quiet moments where it's just the two of us, without words, because with real love, sometimes words aren't needed to know that they love you.

Someone to come home to and not have to act strong around, who I know I can bring my walls down when in their company, and just be however I need to without fear of judgement.

I wanted all of that, and I envied those my age who have already found it. When will it be my turn?

When my mother spotted me standing in the doorway, she immediately flashed me a kind smile as she rose from her seat, walking over to me with open arms, and I gladly accept her hug in return while she happily exclaimed that I was here.

"Oh Pugsley how wonderful it is to see your face,"

She pulls back from the hug to look down at me, but kept her hands on either side of my arms.

"I must admit I was a tad but worried that you wouldn't show up and instead choose to hang out with your friends tonight. Your father tells me you've made quite the nice little group at school."

She wasn't wrong, Eugene and Y/n did make quite the nice group to be around, but today was a bit different. Not to mention the fact that I had been trying to stay away from Y/n, and felt terrible while doing so. I know I needed to space to figure myself out, but it hurt me to blatantly ignore her when she smiled at me, it better be worth it in the end.

I show my mother a smile.

"Yeah, my friends are pretty great, but I think they can survive one night without me. Besides, I've always got time for you guys."

Her hands raised to hold my head as she leaned down and placed a peck to my forehead.

"My sweet boy. Dinner won't be ready for a little longer, and we are still awaiting on the arrival of your sister, so why don't you spend some time in the sun room with your plants while you wait."

I nod as she stepped back, her arms dropping down to her sides and made her way back to sit next to my father, and I too turn away and off towards said room across the cottage.

It was moments like that with my parents that I really missed these days.

With everything that has happened with Wednesday, they were always too busy worrying about her to spend much time with me. So while my sister got all of the attention from both of them,

I just sort of...faded into the background.

I had gotten used to it though. It had been like that since we were kids, Wednesday is always up to something that requires every one to look at her, while I sit back and wait patiently to have but just a glimpse of attention.

And so that is why when even for a fleeting moment, any interaction where the focus was on me, I grabbed onto it and got the most that I could out of it before it was ripped away from me again.

Seeing as it was past nightfall, the plants that once stood tall during the day, now were hunched over in the darkness, but I addressed them nonetheless.

"Icarus, Fitzgerald."

The empty chairs that sat in this room brought up the fond memory of when I was in here not too many days ago with Y/n, catching up, hearing that she missed me. 

God you have no idea how amazing it felt to hear those words from her. I never wanted her to worry about me like she had been, but it felt so nice to be missed, because I knew it meant that I crossed her mind even if I was not around.

I truly did win the best friend lottery with her.

And that is why it's so difficult for me to even think about ruining that with the feeling of wanting more than just to be her best friend. If I were to tell her all of these confusing things I've been feeling, I'm not sure if she would take them well or not.

I'm just not certain that I'm ready to try just yet..

The last thing I want is to scare her away, because she's the only person who hasn't left me already.

Especially after the way she looked at me today. At first I felt bad because I was the one ignoring her, but I only ended up feeling worse when she returned the same actions back to me. 

I mean I can't say that I've ever seen her roll her eyes at me before in a way that wasn't joking, but when Agnes came up to talk to me, I couldn't even focus on the words she was saying, because the pure disgust on Y/n's face shocked me, genuinely. 

I didn't know what I did wrong, but she looked mad at me...

And then I saw her and Eugene having fun together and laughing, it made me a little sad that I wasn't apart of the game that they were playing at lunch, it looked awesome. And seeing Y/n smile like that was the best feeling in the world to me, I wish I had been the one to make her feel like that, because it made me forget literally everything else that existed, and I could only see her.

Maybe I should have just gone over there, and joined them. But at the same time, it was nice to see the two of them getting along so well, so I didn't really want to intrude on their joy, not when I had the pleasure of seeing it from afar with my own eyes.

Maybe I should try asking her if I did anything to upset her tomorrow when I see her next, I don't want there being something that I might have done to make her act like that. Whatever I did to make her pissed off had to have been bad if I couldn't even see what it was myself. 

But best to ask her so I can fix it as soon as possible.

My head snaps to the side when I hear another person enter the sun room, and I see my dad standing half in the doorway.

"Come on mijo, your sister's here so let's sit down for dinner."

I give him a short nod, and he turns away to walk towards the dining room where my mother and sister were probably waiting too.

Okay, I just have to focus on my family tonight.

««« ♪ ♪ »»»

I shift impatiently in my seat as both of my parents let out a delighted gasp as Lurch picked up the cover that revealed our dinner. The smell alone made me feel like I was starving.

"Bravo, Lurch. You have outdone yourself."

My mother of course, praised his cooking, which I'll admit did look really good. And when my eyes quickly glanced up at my sister who sat across from me, her expression surprised me a little.

I expected to see excitement, which if you didn't know her well enough, would just look like any of the other faces she makes, or rather lack thereof. 

But no, she was glancing sideways at the food uncomfortably, and I could actually see the emotion behind her eyes as she swallowed nervously. Weird...

The first plate went to mom, naturally, and I waited with anticipation as Lurch served Wednesday next. And I can't deny that I felt a little bit disappointed when I saw that she was getting the head of the animal, that's the bit that I wanted. But oh well, it's gonna be good no matter what part I get.

Wednesday let out a small sound that almost appeared like a laugh, but without being amused, and her voice sounded a lot more timid than usual. Maybe I'm not the only one having an off day.

"Remind me what this is again..?"

My mother gasped at the question, 

"Darling, don't you recognize your favorite family dish?"

I was tapping my fingers against the table in excitement, and I smile as Lurch made his way over to me.

"Roadkill pot pie."

Wednesday just nods slightly.

"Of course...yum...what's in it?"

As Lurch finished dishing up the plates with delicious food, my father gestures to answer her.

"Possum. Little guy ran out right in front of us. Lurch backed up over it twice! Tenderized it."

"He also added a little leftover raccoon, which gives that special woodsy flavor you adore."

She wasn't wrong, by the time she was finished with her sentence, I'd already taken my first bite, and it was amazing. I really should have savored it more though, because before I was able to take another, mom gently tapped her knife against the outside of her wine glass to get our attention.

"Now that we're all here together, it's time to have a serious discussion."

And just like that, my appetite was gone. Those were not words that you ever wanted to hear come out of a parents mouth, and definitely not in a whole family situation like this one, and I stay silent and hover my utensil over my plate as she continued.

"Your father and I have tried to instill our family values in you children."

And from my other side,

"But we draw the line on lying."

Well shit. I did not like where this conversation was headed. Especially when I know I lied, like big time. But how the fuck did they figure it out? Is my poker face really so bad that even my dad could see through me...

I'm not sure if it would be worth trying to get myself out of this, but I'll do it anyway.

"I thought you said lying was an important life skill.."

Dad gave one of those 'that's not what I meant' faces. Something I'd picked up the skill of noticing because of how often Y/n used it around me.

"Yes, like in business, politics, jury duty - that's a big one."

Mom looks between me and Wednesday.

"You two have been lying to us. And I'll give you one chance to confess."

Wednesday looked at me, even more nervous than before. What is going on with her?

I look over at my mother with a sheepish expression.

"There's still a punishment, right?"

"Of course, don't be silly."

I sigh, placing my fork down gently before turning my head back to face my dad, who was looking at me expectingly.

There's really no getting out of this now.

"I lied to you, about Slurp. I saw him at Pilgrim World, and I let him go...I'm really sorry pops.

My gaze turned downwards, away from him as he sighs.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. But,"

Oh god what else more could there be.

"I think we both know that's not the only thing that you've been hiding from us."

What? But that WAS the only thing that I-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh god.

Please no. How the- how did they even know about THAT, I'm pretty certain I haven't brought it up with anyone, let alone them.

I thought I had done a pretty good job keeping it under wraps, but somehow they knew.

Though I suppose out of all the people that could be told about it, they were the most likely to not tell anyone if I asked them to. I just really wished it didn't have to be revealed this way.

She'd forgive me for telling them, right?

"And..."

Oh why do they have to be looking at me like that, I'm already nervous enough telling them this.

"And, Eugene isn't really my roommate. Nor was he ever my roommate."

The already silent room somehow become quieter. Like you could hear a speck of dust drop.

...

"It's Y/n."

There was a deep breath taken by my father, and I figured I'm already this deep in trouble, and I needed to get this off my chest completely.

"There was a mix up at the start of the year, and we didn't tell anybody. And it wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing, but the more time we spent together, the closer we got, and we decided to just stay in the same dorm anyway and keep it a secret so we wouldn't get in trouble and be separated. And these past few days I..."

I could feel every pair of eyes staring straight at me, almost into my soul.

Come on Pugsley, just a few more words.

"I think I'm starting to catch feelings for her. Like...real feelings. And I don't know what to do."

The room stayed without any words for what felt like an eternity, until Wednesday spoke up in an unusually happy tone.

"You like her?? Awww wait that's so sweeeet."

Well that was not the reaction I thought I'd get from her.

I fiddle with my hands in my lap, not making eye contact with my sister as she smiled all giddy at me.

"I uh...yeah. I guess I do."

My gaze slowly rises back up to my father, who had a touch of empathy on his face.

"I'm sorry for hiding that too..."

He gives me a small understanding nod, and I ask the real question here.

"So uhm...do I get the rack or iron maiden?"

Both were equally as fun, but it wasn't up to me to decide my form of discipline.

I get a pointed finger and a small smile from him as he starts to push himself away from the table.

"We'll flip for it. Come on, let's go." 

I too got up from my seat, and I felt a little sad I had to leave the food here, but I was looking forward to whatever punishment I was about to get. Dad lead me over to one of the rooms over in the back of the hall, giving the girls a quick goodbye for now.

"Please excuse us. You ladies enjoy dinner!"

With that, the door behind us closed, and while he walked further into the room, I paused.

"Hey...dad?"

He turned to me with a hum as his focus was divided between me and finding a coin to flip.

...

"Do you think that I have a chance?"

He stopped his movement to look at me, and I knew that I had his full attention now.

He sighed in a way that made me know that I didn't have to clarify what I meant. He knew.

"Pugsley, if there's one thing I know, it's that a man doesn't get his hands bloody for a girl he merely thinks of as just a friend."

I gave him a look of confusion. What was he talking about? Bloody hands...

Wait..

"Back at camp. That fight with the human kid who shot Y/n."

I winced a little at his words.

"You saw that..?"

He nods.

"I did. And all I have to say about it, is that I'm proud of you. For standing up for her when she couldn't. The look I saw in your eyes was the only thing I needed, to know that you would do anything for that girl, and when I saw you like that,"

He takes a short breath, and a smile crosses his face.

"I saw myself. And there is nothing that I could be more proud of than that. And when you're around her, looking at her, it's the same way I stared at your mother when I was your age. I was unable to keep my eyes off of her, she is that beautiful. And I see that in you."

...

Wow..

I didn't know what to say. I mean, he was right, I would do anything for her. Even almost kill a guy just because he hurt her. That feeling of wanting to keep her safe, needing to...it knocked every ounce of sanity and logic out of my body.

And honestly, it scared me how strong that feeling was.

"And I saw it again. That night at Pilgrim World. But only that time, I saw it in her eyes."

His words were keeping me hooked, but I was still confused.

"What do you mean?"

He moves closer to me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Son, that girl put herself through pain so she could be by your side when you needed her the most. And when she looks at you, I see nothing but pure love in her eyes. She may not know it, but it's clear as day how she feels about you. She just has to realize it on her own, so you must give her time."

I looked away from him.

"You really think so?"

He nods.

"Pugsley, an Addams will only fall in love once,"

I know. Fuck I know that more than anything, that's the only thing I've been thinking about. Because if she doesn't end up feeling the same way that I do, I don't think I'll ever feel this way about anyone ever again.

"But...what if I might have done something unknowingly to make her mad at me?"

Dad's eyebrows furrow at my question.

"What are you talking about?"

I glance to the side. I didn't really know what I was talking about, seeing as I had no idea what I did in the first place, but all I knew is that I fucked up somehow.

"I'm not really sure, but today when I saw her in the courtyard, she kind of ignored me once I started talking to Agnes. You should have seen her face, she looked pissed at me. It honestly scared me a little bit..."

"Agnes? You were talking to a girl other than Y/n?"

I nod.

"Yeah, well- It was more like she was talking to me, or at me for that matter, I wasn't really focusing much on what she said. She made a joke about Orloff's class and it was kind of funny so I laughed, but when I looked back over at Y/n across the yard she gave me this ticked off looked and rolled her eyes at me. And I don't know what I did wrong, do you?"

Dad sighs.

"Oh Pugsley, you still have so much to learn about that dear girl of yours. But a little word of advice, never laugh at another girls words. Don't even talk to another girl alone if you can help it, especially if Y/n saw you. It's jealousy 101 I'm afraid. But it's a good sign, it means that Y/n cares more about you than you may think."

Wait, huh? I am so lost right now.

She was jealous?

That was not my first thought in the slightest.

But if she was jealous of me talking to Agnes, who I would literally never like in that way, then that meant something good for me. But I should definitely still apologize to her for making her feel that way. I don't ever want to give her a reason to be jealous, ever.

I smile to myself, thinking about the idea of Y/n acting like that just because of one laugh at a joke that wasn't even entirely sincere,

And dad speaks up again.

"Pugsley, let me say this. If what you and Y/n isn't love, then I don't know what is. I know it when I see it, and if you don't have a chance, nobody does. Trust me."

I kind of just stared off into space, trying to process everything he's just said, because while he may be right, being kind of an expert in this sort of thing, there was still that slight chance that he's not, and I could ruin everything.

He pats me on the shoulder, guiding me further into the room.

"Come on, let's flip that coin."

I nod without saying anything.

Maybe I did have a chance...