Chapter 018

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I opened my eyes. I look to see a white ceiling. Was I still alive. I move my eyes to see a room. I was in a room.

I couldn't lift my body up, my body felt so sore. I felt so much dam pain in my stomach. My hand was wrap in a bandage. Did I injure my hand that bad? It was just a small cut on the palm of my hand. I sat down using all the strength I had. This felt uncomfortable. I took off the bandages I had on my left hand. The more it came undone the more visible I can see the blood. I look at my blood. It wasn't a bit like the color pink. Why did it look like that.

I tried to stand up but fell to the floor. A loud thud was heard. I look to where the window is. The sun is out. It was the middle of the day, wasn't it? The door opened. I was met with green eyes.

"Violet are you okay."

He came over and tried to help me. I look at him. He had a handkerchief over his mouth. Was he cleaning. He came down to help me on my feet. His hand was on my shoulder. Memories burst into my head.

It gave me a headache. I saw his blood splatter all over me. I just stood there like an idiot. My body began to shake. I slap Eren hand away from me. Causing him to fall to the floor.

"Stop please don't come near me"

I held my hands out.

"Violet are you okay."

"Yes just need some space, can you leave"

"Violet why are you doing this again."

I look at him. What did he mean by his words? I don't understand anything at all. Why should I care about them. I am a selfish person. I let those people die because of the flow of time.

"You are distancing yourself again."

I look to him. I when did I."I never did, what are you talking about."

"You did and you know that. Everyone is worried about you. All you do is distance yourself can you not? I am tired of not knowing anything about you. I am supposed to know you the best and here I know nothing. Am I even consider your friend. Violet I knew since we were dammed kids. I don't know what you are dealing with. But just please set those boundaries down."

I look down onto the floor. He was right, whenever I feel trouble I would distance myself from them. I would do it because I would feel burden and guilt with them. It's not because of fear more like the guilt is hidden within me. I remember the blood on my hands. When I see their faces I fell guilty. They are fighting for freedom and here I am.

"Ayyy kiddo you have to enjoy your childhood while you can. I can see those three really care about you, so stop. distancing yourself. Ah, another thing stops acting mature. You are just 7, don't worry about anything else. Anyways I will protect you from danger since I am a soldier and you are a child."

"You don't look like a soldier tho"

"I am a soldier, you see this uniform here"

"I guess anyone could become a soldier."

"Hahaha, it's not that easy kid."

"You just drink all day. I don't think you can run anymore"

"I can run faster than anyone here. Go have fun, Violet. Looks like you still have a bedtime."

I felt angry at myself. I touched my head, it was all storming in. His smiles, laughter, and encouragement. Why now, I thought I didn't need to. I felt ashamed of myself even more than before. I look up to see Eren was still here. I ask in a shaky voice.

"Is Hannes dead"

He flinched.

"Yes"

He then lowered his gaze.

"I AM USELESS, I COULDN'T EVEN SAVE HIM. I HAD TRAINED TO BE A SOLDIER AND I COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT. I WAS RIGHT THERE AND ALL I COULD DO IS JUST SIT AND WATCH HIM. EREN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW. HE IS GONE AND ITS BECAUSE I AM USELESS. WHAT AM I TRYING TO DO HERE. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED ALONG WITH HIM. AM I EVEN A SOLDIER. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END. ARE WE GOING TO BE FIGHTING FOREVER?"Tears fell down my cheek.

I felt arms around my shaking body. I open my eyes. I was crying on his shoulder. His hand was patting my back.

"Violet you are not useless, I am the one who couldn't move at all. You were injured so don't blame yourself."

"Eren you don't understand. I am useless. I could have done something to prevent it. To prevent everything but I didn't"

"Violet you could have done nothing you were hurt. No one knows the future."

My tears had stopped. But I knew the future. More than you can imagine. My hands become weak. I was tired. No one knows the future, if I didn't know would I be alive. If Violet was still here.

"I wish that too Eren"

I closed my eyes. I don't have the strength to talk. I remember hearing his voice once again. Did I say something, I don't know but it didn't feel like I said those words.

"Violet I'm worried about you. You were asleep for three whole days."

"It didn't feel like that. I didn't know that but thank you Eren for everything. Don't hesitate okay"

Eren Pov

"Hesitate what are you talking about."

Violet hug me tighter. But then loosen her grip.

I felt Violet's body fall onto me. "Violet are you asleep"

All I heard was her breathing. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. The floor was cold for her.

Today was the first time you open up to me. I moved her hair out of her face. It was all over the place. To think you were frightened as well. I am sorry I couldn't do anything for you.

I finally get to see the real Violet after all these years. One by one you would open up your secrets to us. We will be waiting for that day to come.

I stood up but then I heard something from her.

"Papaaa when are you coming backkk"

I turn to see her asleep. Was she sleep talking. If her mother is from the outside world could Violet also be? But Violet is as clueless as us. Was Violet born within the walls? I held her hand tightly. It was smaller compare to mine.

It had calluses all over. I remember her saying she just wanted to spend her life living doing nothing. But now she is fighting along with us. I promise to make it up to you. I kiss the back of her hand.

I should go help the others now. I close the door gently and walk downstairs.

"Ah, Eren how is she."

"Armin she is fine just a little shock about Hannes."

"Oh I see should I go up there"

I held my arms out.

"No, she is sleeping. We should clean before Captain comes back. Hurry now"

I look to see Mikasa.

"Why are you chopping firewood. Mikasa, you were grabbed by a titan."

"I caught her doing sit-ups earlier Armin. I bet if Violet had the strength she would also have gone and collected firewood along her"

"Eren she wouldn't I would have stopped her"

I look to see Mikasa's glaring eyes. Wow, she really is scary. Sasha was eating bread again.

"We just swept the dam floor Horseface."

The Captain could be here any minute and they are all running around. If Violet was here she would have put them to work.

The door opens and he came in.

"I thought I gave you enough time to clean brats."

He slid his hand under the table.

Then look at my direction, my body froze for no reason.

"I see you awake now brat. It's looks like you have heal alright. We will talk about your cleaning later. We have things to discuss"

Was he talking to me. I then turn to see her leaning against the wall. Her bandages were all gone. Was she still the same person that was crying earlier

How did she get all dress up.

She was then tackle by Sasha

"Violet are you okay. I was scared to death you were sleeping for two straight days. It was torture for me. I miss you"

I saw her smile. We walked to the dining table. Sasha was attach to her. Violet wasn't really talking much. She just sat there still as ever.