Chapter 19

I'm lost in a black hole and I cannot see a thing in either direction. No way is up and no way is down. Without absolute positivity that Niall James Horan is in love with me, this is my life. I'm lost, outcasted, and alone. I can't believe he cheated on me. He promised me. I thought he was saving his virginity for me, I thought he loved me, I thought, I thought, I thought.

My phone dinged, as if a ping of bullets are going through my spinal chords. I wonder if it's Niall. Ugh, my head hurts.

Twitter.@RealLiamPayne : Hey

Why is Liam messaging me?

@Maceyyy_Fuls : Hi?

@RealLiamPayne : why the question mark, love?

@Maceyyy_Fuls : you've hated me since primary school "love."

@RealLiamPayne : that was primary and secondary school babe.

@Maceyyy_Fuls : why do you all of a sudden care about me?

@RealLiamPayne : c'mon. Let's hang?

@Maceyyy_Fuls : Fine. when & where??

@RealLiamPayne : the field behind our primary school? In an hour?

@Maceyyy_Fuls : see you then.

That's weird. Why in the world is Liam James Payne wanting to meet up with me? Whatever. I should just get ready.

I stroll to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water glazes over my skin and I scrub soap over myself.

"Hey?" I hear from downstairs. I hear footsteps heading upstairs. "hello?"

Holy crap. It's Zayn. I really hope he doesn't come into the bathroom.

The door creeks open.

"Nice. the "in the shower" trick to avoid me," Zayn begins to pull the shower curtain back, seeing that I'm naked and actually showering.

He stands there for a second and looks at me as if he is taken aback. He finally just sighs and shakes his head like a wet dog for a second. "Wow..." He says,"I've never even imagined you naked before..."

"What's so surprising?" I'm a little scared to move to even Close the curtain.

"You're so..." he breaths deeply.

"Have you never seen Perrie naked before?" I ask.

"Well, yeah, but she doesn't look like you... You're... sexier.." he bites his lip.

"In what way?" Gosh Mace, close the curtain. I slide the curtain shut before he answers. Oh my God, my best friend just saw me naked...

"I mean like... you're... bigger in the right places..." He says awkwardly.

"Well I'm not a strip show, so let me shower now please." I speak. God, Macey you should have just yelled at him.

"Oh... yeah. I'll come back later," he walks away still sounding shocked.

I finish my shower and dry off. A joke Harry told me and Lou once comes to mind:

"What gets wetter the more it dries?""God, harry, I really have no clue," Louis laughs, expecting some cheesy joke."A towel!" He screams. We all bursted into hysterics simply because Harry's jokes are not funny.

I force myself to return to reality to determine what I'm going to look like today.

I put on a simple tribal print sweater, black leggings, and my grey Uggs. I decide to side fishtail my hair. Once I do my make up and decide I look presentable, I exit and head to my car.

I haven't used my car in a while..

I drive to my primary school and park. I'm a little nervous about meeting Liam... what will he do? I walk to the field behind the children's playground. Liam is sat on the hill.

"Hey," he greets.

"Hi."

"We need to talk, Macey," he looks down.

"Okay?" I question.

"Okay well don't go thinking I'm in love with you or anything, because I'm not... but I've liked you since grade school," he begins.

"And?" I say.

"I'm sorry for saying those things to you on Twitter. It wasn't your fault."

"Apology accepted," I agree.

"Why didn't you say it's okay?" He laughs.

In my most serious tone I say,"Because it's not okay."

"Oh.." he shrugs.

I feel as if I'm tied up. I wish to scream all of my lungs out and spit in his face. I wish to tell him how much of a hell he has made my life. I wish to tell him that he belongs in hell and I hope he burns in it. I wish to slap him one million times and within all of that I still wish to cry in the corner and hug my only friend-the teddy bear named Darcy. Instead of doing any of those, I sit quietly and do not say a word unless I am spoken to. So many emotions are inside of me that I can barely take it all in.

"Want some fruit?" He offers. I didn't even notice he set up a picnic.

"No thank you." i respond sharply,"You know we're never getting together, right?"

"What makes you say that?" He raises an eyebrow. Niall and Zayn are the only people who have permission to do that and look cute. Wait-not Zayn cute-just Niall, right?

"I'm in love with Niall Horan. I wouldn't care if he cheated on me with a million girls, I wouldn't care if he betrayed me in every way possible, I wouldn't care if he treated me awfully, I wouldn't care a thing of any wrong doings of him... I'm in love with him. I now know what can happen when someone is hurt, and I don't care how hurt I ever am, I'm never going to intentionally hurt the love of my life," I look at the sky,"Niall, wherever you are baby, I love you more than anything. I don't care that you cheated. I'm not losing you. Never again..."