Chapter 32

“What?  What is it?” Mary asks, leaning across the table with her hand out, waiting for me to pass my phone to her. 

I hand it over as Nicole leans to the left to get a better view of the phone in Mary’s hand.  We all watch as Mary’s mouth drops open and then turns into a huge smile.

“Oh, my gosh, is this for real?” she turns to face Rocky.

“Is what for real?  I can’t see anything!” Nicole grabs my phone out of Mary’s hand.

“Yes, we’ll be playing our show on October 28th, in honor of your birthday,” Rocky wraps his arms around his girlfriend as she hugs him.  “And to celebrate mine a few days later of course.”

"You are seriously the best boyfriend ever,” Mary gushes.  “You guys are amazing as well,” she addresses the rest of the table.  “I cannot wait for my birthday now!”

We then spend the rest of the afternoon eating pizza and swimming, talking all about the tour and the five days that the band will be in Buffalo with us, since their next show isn’t until November 2nd.  As soon as we made the realization that it also means they’ll be spending Halloween with us, we all starting suggesting different ideas for our costumes.  Going back homes never looked so good, especially since there is something to look forward to.

                                    ______________________________

The Teen Choice Awards were only a week away and I still haven’t been able to find the perfect outfit to wear.  Not only will there be a bunch of photographers and interviewers on the red carpet, who may or may not take a picture of me, but inside during the show, the camera will probably lock onto R5 at least once, meaning that I will also be broadcasted onto live, national television.  The last thing I needed was to look like a fashion disaster in front of everyone, especially when I hopefully get the chance to meet a bunch of famous people.  This show was like a dream come true for me.  I have been watching it for years and adored a great amount of the people who attended the show and won awards. 

“So who do you think the boys will introduce us to?” Nicole asks as she walks into my room and flops down onto my bed.

"Been thinking about next week too?” I ask, not taking my eyes of my laptop as I browsed for dresses online. 

“You bet!  What are you looking at?” she scoots herself up so that she is sitting next to me on my bed.  “You know, the best thing to do is to probably actually go out and look at the stores.”

 “Yeah, I know, it’s just so overwhelming!” I say, clicking to load another page.

“And this isn’t?” Nicole gestures to the 72 dress designs that just popped up on my screen.

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” I shut my laptop.  “Go grab Mary and I’ll call up Rydel.  Then we’ll go out and see what we can find.”

 “I’m on it, sir,” Nicole salutes and turns on her heel, marching out of my room in search of our best friend.  Rydel eagerly agrees to come along, saying she still hasn’t found the perfect shoes for her dress yet.  The four of us quickly climb into Rachel’s car and head into the heart of the city, Rydel directing us to the perfect stores. 

By the time we had walked into our sixth store, everyone had found what they were looking for except me.  “I just want to find the perfect dress,” I explain while sorting through a rack of dresses, frowning at the obscene price on a sleek black cocktail dress.

“We understand, Elizabeth.  Don’t you worry; I have a good feeling about this place,” Nicole says while wandering off into the back of the room.  We all fan out and tackle various racks of clothes.  I don’t have an image of the perfect dress inside my head, but I’m sure that when I see it, I’ll know it. 

My hope was fading fast as I approached the last rack in the store.  My friends kept coming up to me with different dresses but I just kept dismissing them, finding at least one little thing about each dress that I didn’t like.  I reached for the first hanger, quickly pushing the dress aside at the sight of the mustard-yellow color.  Just as I was about to give, my fingers landed on a soft, silky material.  I grabbed onto the hanger and pulled the dress out of the overcrowded mess to get a better look at it and I knew I had found what I was looking for. 

                                                            ________________

“Did you have any luck in finding a dress?” Ross asked as I snuggled up to him on his couch in the Austin & Ally dressing room.

“Yes, I did!  Wait, how did you know that’s what I was doing today?” I question.

“Rydel,” we said simultaneously.  That girl can’t keep her mouth shut for the life of her, not like us going shopping was supposed to be a big secret or anything.

“Ross,” Calum comes knocking on the door, poking his head in.  “The live taping is starting soon.  Time to head onto set.”

Ross and I follow Calum down the hallway.  Today was the filming for the season three finale.  Ross refused to tell me anything about the episode, wanting it to be a surprise.  I took a seat in the stands along with everyone else and waited for the show to start. 

I held my breath during the majority of the episode.  I knew they were just acting, but I couldn’t help but see Ross and Laura on set instead of Austin and Ally as they proclaim their love for each other.  I tried my best to not be jealous, but it was a lot harder than I thought.  Ross and I haven’t even said those three words, those eight letters, to each other yet.  My mind began to wander as the cast took their final bow.  Am I ready to tell him I love him, I ask myself.  Do I love him?  I remain seated while the audience leaves their seats and a few are allowed to go down on set and talk to the cast members.  I watch as Ross and Laura take pictures with a few fans, the two costars with their arms wrapped around each other.  I feel the tears well up as my emotions bounce all over the place.  I quickly get up and begin to head towards Ross’s dressing room, not wanting anyone to see me like this. 

“Hey, wait, you’re Elizabeth, right?  Ross’s girlfriend?” a young teenage girl asks after I climb out of the stands. 

“Yes, I am,” I say, trying with all my might to keep it together. 

“Well I just wanted to let you know that you and Ross are never going to last.  I mean, look at him with Laura – they’re perfect together,” I steal a glance in their direction just as Laura reaches up and kisses Ross on the cheek as a picture is being taken.  I turn back to face the small teen.  “Raura is forever.  Trust me, you’re just a little summer fling for Ross and nothing more.”  The girl crosses her arms, testing to see how I would react to her statement. 

I contemplate in my head if I should respond or would just be better off walking away from her.  I steal a glance back at my boyfriend who continues to stand awfully close to Laura, laughing at some joke she said while looking at her in a way that I couldn’t but feel was similar to how he looks at me. 

“Thank you for your opinion,” I curtly say before brushing past the girl and walking as fast as I can away from everyone, only allowing the tears to fall once Ross’s dressing room door is closed securely behind me.  I slowly sink to the ground and pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. 

Everything from the past few weeks just came spilling out.  I had tried my best, pretending that what the fans were saying about me on social media didn’t bother me, but some of those comments really got under my skin.  Now someone has actually said those things to my face which was just a completely different thing than reading it.  That girl wasn’t hiding behind a computer screen like everyone else.  She actually took the time to confront me and say those horrible things, which just put even more doubts in my mind that I have been having recently. 

I know Ross and Laura are close – they’ve always been, especially with their romantic on-screen relationship, but a lot of the times I felt like that spilled into reality, like I had just witnessed while that girl was badgering me.  I really do like Ross and really care about him a lot, but if I truly loved him, would I honestly be having all these doubts and questions that are flying through my head right now?  I tried to imagine my life without him in it and it came to be nearly impossible.  He was someone who I could tell anything to and never looked down on me or treated me any differently even though I wasn’t a huge success like he is.  We had an intense mental, emotional and physical connection, one I don’t have with anyone.  I felt safe and comfortable and knew I could always be myself around him.

“I do love him,” I whisper to myself as I brush away the few remaining tears that stained my face.  I picked myself up off the ground and rushed to Ross’s mirror, dabbing at the slightly smeared eyeliner in the corner of my eyes with a tissue.  When I was satisfied with my appearance, I couldn’t help but smile.  “I love him,” I say again as I head out of the room, in search of finding my boyfriend and telling him. 

I slowed down as I got near Laura’s room, hearing what sounded to be a heated discussion between her and someone else.  I wasn’t planning on eavesdropping but then I heard the deep voice responding. 

“You can’t just do that, Laura!  I have a girlfriend!” I heard Ross respond.  I wondered what they could be arguing about.  I wanted to turn around and walk away, leaving them to their private conversation, but a part of me told me to stay, that I needed to hear this. 

“I know, and I already said I’m sorry!  But –”

“No ‘buts’ Laura!  A kiss on the cheek is one thing, but to kiss me on the lips, in front of fans, without the camera rolling is unacceptable!  You and I aren’t together and now what do you think is going to happen when those people who saw that post about it online!” Ross burst out. 

“You’re right, Ross.  I’m sorry I did that,” Laura apologizes.  “It won’t happen again, but in case you forgot, you did kiss me back, even if was only for a second before you realized what you were doing.” 

“It better not happen again,” Ross retorts, completely ignoring the second part of Laura’s apology, something I on the other hand, heard perfectly. 

As I hear the sounds of footsteps approaching the door from inside the room, I turn, ready to bolt in the opposite direction until they come to a stop and Ross continues to talk.  “It’s called acting, by the way, I wasn’t kissing you back, I was just doing my job.”

“But like you said, the cameras weren’t rolling, so you could have pushed me away the second my lips touched yours, but you didn’t,” I can almost picture Laura smirking at my boyfriend. 

“Call it instinct.  Whenever I kiss you, it’s for the show, and obviously if I pull away it would ruin the scene,” Ross snaps.  “I love Elizabeth, and your little antics better not get in the way of that.”

My heart practically stops when I hear those words and I become so giddy with excitement, I almost don’t hear as Ross approaches the door.  I sprint down the hall and round the corner just as I hear the door open and listen as Ross walks back up the hallway, away from me and his dressing room.I hesitate before returning to Ross’s dressing room, knowing he’ll show up there eventually.  Talk about an emotional twenty minutes, I think as I lay back onto the couch.  First I was furious at that stupid fan, then overjoyed at the realization about my true feelings for Ross, then pissed off and annoyed at Laura, and back to overjoy because of Ross.  I ponder what I had heard between the two costars.  Obviously Laura has feelings for Ross and I understand that, but I didn’t appreciate at all that she acted on it, especially in public.  I’m honestly confused as to how I should feel about Laura.  Angry that she kissed Ross?  Hurt?  Betrayed?  But he did kiss her back, a voice in the back of my head whispers.  I quickly shake the thought away, remembering Ross’s response to that.  The jealousy and anger and confusion all melt away as my mind focuses on the fact that Ross and I really do love each other.  Now all I have to do is tell him.