Date

W: This chapter will contain smut.

Azriel's PoV:

As promised, he picked her up at six.

She was wearing a pink dress and Az couldn't stop staring at her.

She looked like the moon cloaked in pink, peeking timidly out from behind the stars. She was beautiful.

"Shall we?" asked Az, holding his arm out.

"Yes, please," said Cal with a smile.

They walked to a theatre in Velaris. It was crowded, to say the least.

"So," said Cal inquisitively, "we are watching something tonight?"

"Yes," said Az, producing two tickets from his pocket which he had purchased beforehand. "You okay with that?"

"Yes." Cal smiled at him again, the radiant smile lighting up his world.

They were sitting at their spot under the bridge, watching the rainbows across the Sidra.

After watching the play, they had taken a walk. They spent the evening talking about the play which had turned out to be a funny one. Az remembered feeling a white-hot pang of jealousy as Cal kept gushing over how tempting the male lead in the play was.

They ate at a restaurant while Az explained to Cal the rules of a very difficult version of hide and seek which he used to play with Cass and Rhys. She seemed interested, her face lighting up at the funny details.

"What do you think about mates?" asked Az, looking at Cal who was looking at the Sidra, mesmerised.

"Mates?" asked Cal, still looking ahead. "You mean the mates that the Cauldron decides?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe in that." Az felt like she had just poured cold water all over him.

"You know that mates are literally chosen by the universe to be together?"

"And how is it different from an arranged marriage? In fact, I think its worse. In an arranged marriage, you get a choice. Here you don't. The universe tells you who you are supposed to love and that's it. And then the universe manipulates you into feeling drawn to that person. I mean, its just unfair."

"You know that most of the mates have lived happily, right?"

"I know. And I am happy for them. But, its not for me. I need to love someone to be happy with them. And I cannot afford to be confused about that. I mean, how would you feel if some other faerie comes along and tells you that I am his mate? Would you like to let me go?"

"No." Az felt his heart skip a beat at that. "But if you loved him, I would find a way to be happy about that."

"That's very nice, Az. But that's not me. If you suddenly become mates with another faerie, I would be so angry. I would feel betrayed. I mean, the Cauldron has no right to take you away from me just because it thought that you were a better fit with someone else. I mean, what about our feelings for each other? Should we just throw it all away because the Cauldron said so?"

She turned to look at Az then, her eyes intense. He saw it in her then.

She didn't believe she could be his mate. And she was scared that he would be taken away from her.

"So," said Az, trying to calm her down, "you want to choose who you love? If you become mates with someone, you would like to fall in love with them before accepting the bond, is that what you are saying?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. "And I want to be able to fall in love normally and not be influenced into it. And if I love someone, I want that to be acknowledged. I don't want them running away just because they found a mate."

"Fair enough."

Az sat back in silence, realising that revealing to Cal that she was his mate might not be the best idea.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Az, shifting closer to her until their hands touched.

"Yes," she said simply, taking his hand in hers before tracing his scars with her fingertips.

"Was I your first kiss?" Az had been wondering that for a while.

"Yes. You were. I mean, you were the first one who asked permission and made it good for me." She shrugged, her fingertips still tracing the scars.

Amarantha, yes. How could he have forgotten? She had been assaulted there; Rhys had said that. Of course, people had tried to force her.

"I am sorry," said Az, tightening his hold on her hand. "I am sorry you had to go through that."

"Its alright. Its in the past now. Which brings me to my request. Az, will you teach me how to fight?"

"Fight? You mean mortals or faeries?"

"Both."

"Faeries are strong. And very fast. Its not easy to fight them."

"I know. But the next time one attacks me, I don't want to be defenceless. I want to be able to buy enough time to escape."

"Alright, I will teach you how to fight. But you are not allowed to overwork yourself, okay?"

"Okay, sir."

Az grabbed her hand that was holding his and pulled her towards himself. He looked at her lips which were parted slightly.

"You are so beautiful," said Az. "I can't stop looking at you."

And he wasn't lying. Her smile was still one of the best things he had laid eyes on. And her strength was something he hadn't quite been able to map. After being attacked countless times, she hadn't run away. After being attacked in the library, he had half expected her to ask Rhys to take her back to her sisters. But instead, here she was, asking him to teach her how to fight.

"You're pretty," said Cal simply, tracing a fingertip down the side of his face.

"You want to go home?" asked Az, unable to take his eyes off her lips.

"Yes," she said.

Az winnowed her back to the House of Wind and went straight to her bedroom.

The moment the doors closed, his lips were on hers.

Everything became a blur as he kissed her, drawing out moans from her as he slid his tongue into her mouth.

He withdrew from her lips then, kissing along her jaw. He then bit her neck gently, making her squirm a little. Then he removed his teeth from her neck and kissed the reddening spot.

He pulled her away from the door and pushed her gently into the bed. He climbed into bed with her then, his arms tracing gently down her body. He slipped his arms into her dress and squeezed her breast.

She moaned at the contact and he did it again, making her arch her back. He traced circles along her stomach with the other hand while kissing her deeply.

His hand crept lower until they found her pants. He traced lazily around the border before slipping a finger inside.

She stiffened suddenly, a sharp gasp escaping her lips.

"Cal," said Az, his lips against her neck, "do you want to stop?"

"Can you stop?" asked Cal, her voice a little breathless.

"I will stop if you ask me to, Snowflake. I mean, it will be hard, given I want all of you right now, but if you ask me to stop, I stop. That is how it works."

"Then, I'd like you to stop. I don't think- I me-"

"You don't need to explain yourself," he said, placing a kiss on her collarbones. "If you want me to stop, I stop, no questions asked."

"You won't be mad?" Her voice sounded small and scared, he realised that resisting any assault by herself Under the Mountain had probably earned her some punishment. Even though she was with Azriel, he knew her body was responding to the trauma.

"Not at all, Snowflake." Azriel softened his voice as he spoke to her, looking at her eyes which still looked fearful. He kissed her eyelids and stroked her collarbone gently.

"Can I still kiss you?" asked Cal softly, looking up at him from under her eyelashes.

"Yes, baby, you do."

Az sat up on the bed, pulling her up with him. He kissed her deeply again, feeling her melt in his arms. He lifted her up gently and placed her on his lap.

He kissed her till she had had her full of them. And then he kissed her some more.

Az didn't stop kissing her until his lips were sore and he was sure they would bleed.

But if they did, it would be worth it.

Cal's PoV:

Cal heard a noise and woke up at night. She saw the light on in her bathroom and heard retching noises coming from it. She glanced beside her and saw that the bed was empty.

"Az?" she called out softly, knowing he would hear her.

"In here," replied Az and his voice was hoarse. "I'm fine."

She stepped gingerly into the bathroom, so as not to startle him.

The sight squeezed her stomach.

Azriel, the shadowsinger, was sitting on the floor, hurling his guts out into the toilet. His face was pale and his hair a mess.

"Oh my God, Az," said Cal, coming closer to him. "What happened?"

"Bad dream," he said in a strained voice but then smiled at her. The smile made her want to cry. "I am fine, Snowflake. You should get some sleep."

"I am good, Az. I want to help you. Do you need something?"

"I just- I need to be alone for some time. Do you mind if I take a bath in here?"

"No, of course. Take a bath, do whatever you need to do."

"I will join you in a few minutes then." He gave her another tight smile and she could see how much he was trying to look okay to her.

"You don't have to. You can take whatever time you need, wherever you need. You can go back to your own room if you want. You don't have to sleep here."

"I know I don't have to. I want to. But, do you want me to leave?" His eyes looked tired but the fear was evident in his voice.

"No, I don't want you to leave. But you said you needed some time. I thought you wanted to go back to your room."

"I want to stay with you, Snowflake. I just- need a few minutes. I will take a bath and then I will join you. You can go back to sleep; when you wake up, I will be there."

Cal nodded at him and stepped out of the bathroom. He closed the door behind her.

She sat down outside the door, worry clouding her mind.

They had just gone out on a date and they had kissed for a long while before she got tired and went to sleep.

She had been anxious right after she refused to take things further with him. She had thought he would leave, that he would finally understand how broken and damaged she was and just, leave.

Even though he had been so gentle, some things reminded her of her time Under the Mountain. She hated to compare, hated to associate those monsters with Az, but sometimes she couldn't really help it.

She wanted to forget it. She wanted to forget all of it.

And Az was helping her. He had been wonderful from the first day she met him. Yes, he had been a little scary and cold the first day, but that was before they had talked.

Az just made her feel. She had turned off all feelings for a long time, ever since Amarantha had taken her. Yes, she still felt gratitude for Rhys, but she had switched off the part in her brain that still had hope. The part in her brain that could be hurt.

And yet, when she met Az for the first time, she had hoped beyond hope that the meeting wasn't for a short time.

Az just made her feel important, like she wasn't just a weak mortal who would only live a few decades and then fade away into oblivion.

But she eventually would die, and Az would live for centuries after.

She dreaded the day he would finally find his mate.

She didn't believe in mates, but she knew faeries held that connection in the highest pedestal. So, if Az found his mate, it would be over with her. And she would have to find a way to be okay with it.

Maybe she was being selfish, but she hoped he wouldn't find his mate while she was still alive. And she hated herself for wanting that.

She couldn't give Az anything other than a few decades of worry and stress. Not to mention she had her demons that would probably never leave her side.

So, by wanting that, she was dooming herself as well as Azriel for the next few decades at least.

She remembered the expression on his face when he had seen Truth-Teller at her throat. She knew that had taken a big toll on him.

She wanted to bury that memory away, but she knew Az would never forget.

She heard the water stop inside the bathroom and she hurried back to the bed, leaning against the headboard.

Az came back to the room wearing a fresh set of shorts.

He smiled at her as he walked back to the bed.

"I am sorry for waking you up," he said, getting up on the bed. "This rarely happens, I didn't think it would be tonight."

"What happened in the morning," started Cal, "with Truth-Teller, caused this, didn't it?"

"You don't have to worry about it."

"I don't have to. But I want to."

"I didn't like what I saw." He gently traced a finger along Cal's cheek bone and she could feel the apology in it. "I got scared."

His voice broke again and Cal touched his face, caressing his eyelids. He closed them under her touch, letting out a long sigh as if in relief and she knew he needed the comfort tonight.

She got up slightly and sat herself down upon his lap, her legs astride his waist. She didn't want to put her entire weight upon him so she kept her knees down on the bed.

"Az, look at me," she said, getting up slightly on her knees so her eyes were a little above his. He opened his eyes. "I am not hurt. I am alright. You made sure of that. You don't have to torture yourself with that."

"I was back in the dungeons again," he said, still looking at her, his lips trembling. She felt him hold her waist gently. "I saw myself back there, and my hand was on fire once again. But this time, you were there too. And one of my brothers, he kept stabbing you with Truth-Teller. He kept stabbing you with my blade. MY blade. And I just watched. And screamed. I did nothing but scream."

"And that was just a dream, Az. I am alright. You are not back in the dungeons. Your hand isn't burning again."

"I am sorry, I am just whining at this point."

"No. No, you are not. You got scared by what you saw. I would have been scared too."

"How am I supposed to protect you if I get so scared?"

A tear ran down Azriel's cheek and Cal kissed it.

He had once kissed away her tears. It was her turn now. She kissed the tears on his cheek. Then she kissed his closed eyelids, causing him to tighten his hold on her waist.

"You don't always have to protect me, Az," she said, placing another gentle kiss on his lips. "Sometimes, it is okay to be vulnerable. And when that happens, I would like to take care of you."

She kissed his ear and then his jaw, his neck. She kept going down until she reached the tattoos on his chest.

"Wait," said Az, grabbing the back of her head and gently making her look at him. "You don't have to-"

"I want to," she said. "Do you want me to?"

"Oh Gods, yes."

The words came out hoarse and Cal was proud of the effect she had on the shadowsinger.

She went back to his mouth, kissing him tenderly. She lifted herself up on her knees and then sat back down on his lap, applying slight pressure on his groin.

Az threw his head back and moaned, giving Cal better access to his neck. She kissed the bulge on the centre of his neck before biting down hard, earning another moan from him. She felt his cock twitching through his shorts and rotated her hips against his.

She kept thrusting and rotating her hips against his while still kissing and biting his neck. She could feel that he was fully aroused, restrained by his shorts. She suddenly felt his hands on her waist tightening, and he looked at her, his eyes dark. He lifted her up this time and then pressed her back down harder, thrusting his hips up at her.

Cal felt the pressure in the pit of her stomach and gasped out loudly. He repeated it, his eyes locked with hers. Every time, his thrusts became harder until she started squeezing his waist with her thighs.

"Az," said Cal, surprised at how breathless her voice sounded. She grabbed his face with her hands, touching his forehead with hers. She closed her eyes as he thrusted harder, her insides throbbing. "I want to make you feel good, Az. Tell me what you want."

"I want," Az stopped as a moan seemed to escape his lips, his grip tightening on her waist so hard that she was sure she would have bruises. "I want to see you come."

"Then make me."

A growl emanated from his chest and Cal opened her eyes in surprise.

Suddenly, his hands had tightened around her knees, and he straightened them in one fluid motion. He pushed her down on the bed, still looking into her eyes.

He grabbed both her wrists in one of his hands and this was one of the times when Cal became hyperaware of how large his hands really were. He pinned both her wrists above her head and squeezed her breast over her shirt with the other hand.

He went lower until he found the border of her pants.

He kissed her lips then and lowered her undergarment.

Her legs spread of their own accord to allow him better access and she heard his growl of approval.

She looked again into his hazel eyes and they were staring intently at her face.

He rubbed gently on her bundle of nerves until she felt like she could take it no more. She arched her back off the bed but his body weight kept her pressed down tightly.

Then she felt the intrusion of his finger and Gods did it feel good.

She arched her back at the intrusion, closing her eyes and moaning loudly. He thrusted his finger inside her while rubbing his hips against her leg that was tightly wedged against his cock, only separated by the thin fabric of his shorts.

She felt him remove the finger and then the intrusion felt thicker.

She felt a tinge of pain when she realised he was inserting two fingers now. He hadn't even gone deep when she jerked her hips slightly away with a small cry.

He stopped and looked at her, his eyes scanning her.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked breathlessly, looking into her eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. She knew how hard it must be for him, but she knew he would stop.

"No," she said, sounding equally breathless. "Don't stop."

He kissed her lips then, inserting his finger a little bit more. She could feel the resistance in her body, but she also felt the sweet fire burning inside her which could only be extinguished by him.

She felt him go deeper and she couldn't help the small cry that escaped her mouth.

"Shh," Az said, his lips at her ear. "Just relax. I am right here with you, Snowflake. Just breathe, and let me make you feel good."

She closed her eyes then, letting her body take over.

She felt his fingers going deeper. And then he thrust his fingers into her. Very soon, she was bucking her hips in time with his thrusts, moans falling from her mouth which were swallowed by his mouth.

The thrusts became harder and she could feel her moans getting louder with each.

He removed his mouth from hers and buried his face in her neck, thrusting faster and harder.

She squirmed underneath his assault, teetering dangerously along the edge of paradise.

She felt the knot tightening ruthlessly and she wanted to release it.

She felt Az thrusting his hips against her thigh in time with his finger.

"Come for me, Snowflake," whispered Az hoarsely. "Come for me like a good girl."

He bit down harshly on her neck, his teeth sinking deep while his thrusts became harder than anything.

The sudden pain and his words threw Cal over the edge as she let out a scream, her entire body shaking with the climax. Somewhere in the middle of it, she heard Az let out a guttural groan, his teeth tightly locked onto her neck.

He kept thrusting his fingers into her until she came down from her high.

They lay quietly for a while, both panting heavily.

"That was," started Cal, searching for the right words. "That was good."

"It was," said Az with a chuckle. "I am glad it was good for you too."

He took his fingers out of her and while maintaining eye contact with her, licked them clean.

Her face heated at the sight and she looked away.

"So shy," said Az, a hint of mischief in his voice. He then grabbed her chin and turned it slightly, making her look at him. "I can't wait to bend you over the table and fuck you, making you scream my name. And after you are done, I will take you against the wall. And then, I will pin you against the bookshelf and fuck you hard enough to make the books fall off. And finally, we can end it on the bed, with you squirming and begging underneath me. When I will finally be done with you, you won't be able to walk straight."

The words filled Cal with a deep sense of horror at the obscenity of them. But she also felt a twinge of arousal deep inside her, wanting him to actually do all of that.

She knew she would probably let him.

He picked her up gently and placed her head on the pillow before hugging her from the back, enveloping her in his arms. She felt so small in his arms and she liked that. She shrunk back towards him, letting him envelope her completely.

She felt a satisfying ache in her core, knowing that she would probably wake up throbbing but would still love it.

And probably want more of it.

She felt him kiss her cheek gently.

Then, before she could form anymore coherent thoughts, sleep claimed her.