39: Torn Between Two

"Are you alright hun? You haven't touched anything on your plate." Rosetta asked while my gaze was on a certain person in the hall.

"Oh- yeah. I was just thinking about what I wanted to eat first." I lied.

It's been a few days since Fred came into my dorm and I helped heal his cut and when I told him about Tom and then somehow it escalated but stopped. I haven't ate anything for the last few days and I could see my face get slimmer. It was sickening but I just couldn't go through anything right now. I was full of regret. I had made out with Fred and I felt totally bad, despite the fact that I strongly dislike Gaby. Coming from someone who was cheated on, I wouldn't want to commit that myself.

My eyes stared long and hard on Fred as I would watch him laugh and smile, but he never noticed me. It seemed as if he never came into my dorm, as if I never healed him. As if it was another dream, but it wasn't. He said he couldn't move on either but somehow he would be all on Gabriella, I was sure of it now that he moved on. In my dorm, maybe he realized that it was time to move on. Pushing him away was my fault so I can't be sad or mad about it, it was all my doing.

"So for final exams what do you lot have to do?" Amelia asked. "Surprisingly, nothing. I don't have to worry about NEWTS either for a while" Rosetta stated.

We were coming close to the end of half of our 7th year. Graduation was also coming up and it did scare me a bit. Obviously we still had the ball and Christmas but after that, things would go by faster.

"All I have to worry about is making a given potion correctly" the final exam was to individually recreate the potion Snape would assign to us. It was going to be different for every student, you could get an easy one or a hard one to Create.

"You two losers have dates to the ball? Let me guess Grey for you and Pansy with you?" I asked Ro and Lia, they would stay with me for meals but then go off and live their life with their lovers as they should.

"What about you?" Lia asked me."Ever since Jeremih's party and that stupid dance I gave him, I've been asked multiple times." I stated while picking at my bacon with my fork."So... who'd you say yes to go with?" Ro asked next.

"I didn't say yes to any because I'm not going"

Amelia and Rosetta had dropped their forks down and immediately had their jaws wide open at my answer. They know I've been dreaming about this exact moment so for me to tell them what I said, they were shocked.

"Em you're daft. You have to go!" "We're going to force you!""No please. I've been stressed and frustrated for the past few weeks, the ball is the last thing I need right now."

They both gone quiet. I hardly told them anything since they've been distant from me, and they realized it in that moment. I wasn't angry at them but I was angry at myself. "Just think about it love, maybe the ball is what will ease your mind.""Yeah. besides, Lia is making our Masks enchanted so it'll be fun. Just know we're here for you."

Nodding my head and giving a weak grin, I pushed my food away and just went off to the halls. I would find myself roaming around the halls before class would start, thinking about some mistakes I made. My mind would ponder on the ideas of "what would happen if I never..." and most of them involved Fred. I even wondered how much galleons he'd take if I bribed him to Obliviate me.

I got to potions and dreaded the way there, just thinking about having to look at Fred. I'm just glad this wasn't an assigned partner exam or else the chances of us being together would scare me. Once in class, there was no seats to be found, it was just tables. I walked to a random table in the back where a adorable little 4th year boy stood. Later on came a 5th year girl who seems like she had an attitude.

"For class I mustn't waste any time for how long I know the potions would take to be made correctly. Therefore, working on the potion individually would be a mistake."

Of fucking course. Spoke too soon.

"The final exam will be shared in a group of three and they are assigned. You will be working with others according to year. I'll assign the potion to your group while calling names"Great, so now not only do I have to make a most likely hard potion, but I also have to deal with the fact that Fred might be grouped with me. At this point, I rather take the girl with the attitude.

"Sylvester, White, and Berlonze. You three are a group and have to conjure up Poly Juice Potion"Snape was calling out the names and potions and by every last name being called, I grew nervous. I was biting my finger nails down as he was finishing up the last groups.

"Snow, Weasley, Knight. Assigned potion is Amortentia""Professor, excuse me but I thought we weren't allowed to brew Amortentia. Is this even allowed?""Ms. Snow you are correct but this is for exam purposes. Now carry on"

Did Professor Snape plan all of this? Because what in the bloody hell. Not only am I partnered up with Fred but also with someone who he hates and hates him. I also have to deal with the fact that we have to Conjure up fucking Amortentia.

I was alone at the table I stood at since I walked in, Jeremih had came up to the table first and I smiled. Then Fred joined and my smile died down, he noticed and furrowed his eyebrows. The table had Viles of a lot of ingredients and we were giving books to find the Instructions. So I all I did was begin to read.

"I know you love to work individually but you can atleast tell me what we're supposed to be doing here" Jeremih said."Us. She can tell us, not just you." Fred had added.Geez they had just got to the table. Fred was to my left and Jeremih was to my right and they stared at each other deadly. I kept ignoring them.

Before grabbing the ingredients needed, I reached my hands back to my hair and started to tie it in a ponytail but my hair was stuck on the right side of my earring. "Here, let me help you Milady" Jeremih offered. And so he tucked the hair that was stuck and combed it through my head.

"How fond of you Sir, thank you" I said while playing along to his "milady" joke. I turned catching Fred's eyes and he looked disgusted. I wasn't even trying to make him jealous but it sure looked like he was.

After tying my hair, I opened the book again and Fred was peaking over. "What page?" He asked."Mhm 276 in mine but your book is different let me see" I moved over to Fred and took his book to look through the pages. He had his chest leaned against my side and he sort of hovered over me, I got to a page where it showed some wild cat like creature and just chuckled at it.

"That looks like George when he sleeps." Fred said and it did so I chuckled even harder."Wait- wait no, looks like Mione cause how her hair is everywhere when she wakes up""Yes!" And together me and Fred both chuckled, I missed his laugh. I moved back to my spot and I was still chuckling very low, Fred noticed and we made eye contact but I brushed it off when Jeremih scoffed.

I was leaning down and reading the instructions when Jeremih had took his robe off and rolled his sleeves up. He was wearing a black turtleneck and he was actually very handsome with his dark curly hair and just dark style he gave off. Jeremih seen me notice and he smiled while taking his hand through his hair. He fluttered his eyes and pretended to flip his hair.

"Take a picture, you don't get to see this beautiful face everyday now" he smirked and I rolled my eyes."Barf. We have to focus on the potion and like- pass. So pay attention" Fred said while clenching his jaw, he was mad."Wow Fred, since when did you care so much about Potions?" I replied and he just looked away.

After a long 30 minutes of myself doing the work with Fred and Jeremih fighting over who gets to stir and then who gets to drop the ingredients in, we finally finished and had to wait for Snape to come around. It was awfully quiet and the cauldron was closed thank god, I already knew I'd be smelling Fred."Sooo Snow, any Handsome Chap ask you to the ball yet?"

I looked up from my feet and I noticed Fred was already looking at me so I turned my attention to Jeremih. "Yeah actually, ever since your um birthday I've been getting asked by a few impeccable Arseholes just because that little dance" I replied.

"Well, what lucky arsehole did you say yes to?" He asked."I didn't say yes to anyone." I said while I opened the cauldron. "I'm not going to the ball" I added while stirring and drifting my attention away. I could feel the deep stares into me from Fred and Jeremih.

"Why not?" Fred asked. He then leaned a little closer to the edge of the corner where I was. I looked into his eyes."I've just been stressed and not interested at all anymore. It's a stupid ball. Stupid masquerade idea with stupid people with stupid dates doing stupid dances." I said

I closed the cauldron again and as we just stood in silence. Fred was spinning his wand in between his fingers and Jeremih was just fidgeting with his silver ring. Like always, I had my left arm across my body while my right elbow rested on top of it and my hand fidgeted with my earring. I looked into space just thinking about the "enchanted masks" Ro mentioned.

Snape finally came to our Table and we were all nervous. Amortentia is very tricky but by the smell of it, I knew we had made it right. "I must say, I am impressed." Snape said."Wicked! So we pass?" Fred asked but Snape brought his pointer finger to his chin and was in a thinking mode. He looked at all three of us and then stopped his eyes on me.

"Miss Snow, please proceed to share the scent you smell"

The fuck? I grew even more nervous. I didn't know if Fred still smelt my scent in the cauldron, for anything he could be smelling Gabriella. Now it was Snape, Fred and Jeremih who all looked at me when I took my nose to the cauldron. My nostrils had been filled with the scent of the boy to my left. Without making eye contact with Fred, I decided to just tell the truth of what I smelt. I was going to lie but I just didn't have it me to make up smells quick.

"I smell...Sweets, cinnamon, smoke..like fireworks, and also wood. That's what I smell." I said while playing with my earring and looking into the cauldron.

"Excellent" Snape said as he closed the top. I have no idea why he wanted me to smell it but I'm just glad we passed. Fred was staring at me the whole time and I know he tried grabbing my attention but I ignored him. I knew he would try to approach me after class so thank god Jeremih walked out with me as we talked about the dreading exam. Fred was still walking behind us like a creep but I didn't pay too much attention to him.

"So, I know you're not sure about the dance but-""Jeremih I'm not going""I know I know but if you change your mind..." he continued but stopped once Fred caught up to us and was now on the right side near my shoulder.

"Emerald, would you like to be my date to the Ball. If you ever change your mind about going." At first I thought about telling him no but what if I did change my mind-"Jeremih, I would be honored. If I change my mind though."

Fred was still near us listening like a fucking weirdo. He didn't look at us but I could hear him making noises and being childish like he would always be. Jeremih had left to the Slytherin common room and now it was just me and Fred in the halls. He was on the right side still as I moved all the way to the left. It was dead silent, but I didn't mind. Fred started to scoot more to the left where I was but he was in the center.

"Fireworks, cinnamon, wood, sweets. I don't know him but I do Wonder who that may be" I was expecting a smirk but he actually seemed gloomy. Jerk.

We don't talk for few days after he comes into my dorm and I heal him. The least he could do was acknowledge me during school hours.

"I still wonder who he really is too. Then I remember he's just someone who never shows his feelings, unless it's just the two of you in a room where no one knows. Or maybe even when it's early in the morning and he just wants someone to shag. Mhm I guess I don't really know him either."

"Snow, that's not true. You know I'd never-"

"I thought you didn't know him? Funny." after saying that, I just stormed off as he stood there in the middle of the halls. Looking dumbfounded and lost. I had a lot of emotions built in me but I felt violent. I could've said way more but if I stood there in front of him, he would've knew how to get under my skin.

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After a few hours, it was late and I had the box my mother gave me through our house owl. I haven't opened it but I decided that maybe I could take a peak if I do change my mind about going.

I careful cut the ribbon that held it closed and removed the top of the box. On the top was a little fabric box that had a little parchment on it that read "Happy Early Birthday Sweetheart". I haven't realized but I'd be spending my birthday at the Weasley's as well, unless I just don't tell them and hope Mione forgot. In the beautiful little black box was a beautiful gold necklace that had an Emerald gem, and under the gem was a a diamond. It was absolutely gorgeous, I had put it on right away.

While having the necklace on, i removed the first layer of tissue paper that will now reveal the dress. My eyes widened and roamed around the beautiful silk yet also stretchy dress that was now in my hands. The front had these beautiful lace designs on the breast area and to the sides. I turned it around and the back would be exposed, it was strings or straps that cross in the back and then tied. It was absolutely stunning, now I admired the lovely gifts my mother sent me.

The ball would be in a bout three days and I've been wondering if I should just go. I was thinking about Ro and Lia saying that maybe this ball would take everything off my mind and now I sort of agree. I had a dress, I would have the mask, I also have a date but what I didn't have was the courage.

A knock on my room door with girls screaming had brought me out my thoughts. It was Ro and Amelia. I had closed the box and opened the door, they had a cute bag with them and looked at me while blushing.

"So what's this surprise you two wanted to tell me?" "Patience child, this of for the end of the night." Ro said while walking in.Amelia seemed way more excited than usual, I was starting to think she was high again.

They have been in my dorm for about twenty minutes and I told them about why I've been feeling the way I have. I told them about the dream, how Fred came to my dorm, the amortentia, the conversations I had after and just about my whole week. After talking, they noticed I've gone sad after telling my whole problems so they finally gave me the secret bag they brought. As I was going through it, they were telling me why they got it.

"It's an Early birthday gift from the both of us" Ro said."Yes and we know you've been stressed so that's why we got it. If you don't like it, it was all Ro's idea."

I pulled out the gift and the first one was two finger rings that vibrate and used for pleasuring yourself or a significant other. "You little pieces of shit- this is sort of awkward...""Keep going, there's one more-"And so I did, on the bottom sat an all black matching lingerie set with thigh high fish nets that had a lace design on the top of it. Also had these clips that attached to a beautiful lace garter belt.

"You little Minx! Both of you- I ... Thank you? Honestly thank you. This gave me a real good blush and laugh so surprised I am.""So you like it? Because the rings were my idea actually I use them on Pan-" "Ok Amelia OH MY- thanks." I replied to her.

"Yes and the lingerie was from me, you know when I'm stressed I start buying sets and it would make me feel better. And even better when Grey and I-""OH MY GODRIC- I love you two but out ...NOW."

After sharing gifts and sharing more than I wanted to know, I thanked them and they left with all of us chuckling. I hated the thought of Fred being the first person I'd share my gifts with. Who knows maybe during Christmas if he's not with Gabriella at the time, I could share a few gifts.

This night is what I needed, a real good laugh. So maybe the ball isn't a bad idea after all. Ive decided that I'll go. Besides, it was a dream I wanted to live out so that is what I'll do.

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