25: Deep

Time. Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. Time can go by fast but also slow it can be seen on a clock or even on parchment. Time can be told from many other perspectives and from many other events.

In my case, Time went by faster than ever. It was now November. I wrote a letter back to my brother last night and already couldn't wait for him to send one back. Starting off school consisted of two months being with Fred and even having a great time whether it was with quidditch or even with partying or just hanging around with my mates. But now, now it was different. Things have changed and I don't know why. Fred and I have talked in the past week but only when I tried to talk to him, he would simply make a conversation if i started it. We haven't actually got to doing anything which is okay but it was so not normal for me. He wouldn't even be in his flirtatious self and I couldn't figure out why.

I've been telling myself to focus on my life and school and quidditch so that's what I've been doing and try to do. I woke up early or maybe just took a nap since I haven't been sleeping well. I had walked to my bathroom mirror to see that my terrible sleeping schedule is shown right under my eyes. It's been like that for a week, I never really cared about it and I wouldn't care to even cover it up.

I decided to atleast look presentable today, I would be lazy in the mornings so I would just throw on the school uniforms and tie my hair up. I got up, did my hair nicely by just washing it and letting my natural dark loose curls flow. I wore a black turtle neck tucked in my plaid gray and black skirt. I would wear my heels but no. I slipped on my black short heeled Mary Janes, it was easy to walk in.

Going to the library early was never something I did but I needed to study more and also find some books that I needed. I did ask Amelia if she wanted to join me but she turned the offer down and said she was going to "go for a stroll" in the morning. Yeah a stroll into Pansy's trousers and knickers i bet.

Once I got there to the library, it was oddly empty. It was around 7 in the morning so students are either getting breakfast but I would've thought many students would be there for O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s.

I sat in the back and had my robe rested on my shoulders like it was a top sheet. I did bring an apple to at-least eat something since I was skipping breakfast. I had grabbed out my quill and parchment and began looking at the assignments for my Herbology studies class.

I needed to physically get up and find this "One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi" book but atleast it wasn't too far from me in the back. I would've asked Madam Irma Pince who was the librarian but she seemed quite busy, I'm also pretty sure it was just us in there anyways.

Once I got to the back where I'd find the book, there was a window, it was open and I got cold since I left my robe at my seat. It was just like any other window near the booths and chairs in the library but this one caught my eyes. It was sunny out but it was raining which never made sense to me. I remember Fred saying something similar to that weather in his Amortentia.

The smell it gave off was empty but aware. It smelled fresh and new. I absolutely loved the scent, back home where I lived- that's what it smelt like. The feeling of being alone had entered my head again and I couldn't help but to tear up in silence as a few water droplets filled my eyes and stained the window from the rain. I could hear loud footsteps walking into the library but my attention remained on the window. The footsteps stopped near me and then began to become slow and closer.

"I knew I smelt strawberries" a voice had said that brought my attention back.

"Thats just my.....wait Fred...?"

"Good morning, Emerald" he said.

Emerald? I have never heard Fred call me by my full name. Actually, he never said my full name before. It was always Snow or just teasing little names he'd call me during pranks. Something was so off with him, maybe he was going through a tough time as well and I'd been reading it wrong.

"Hey hey hey. What's wrong?" Fred asked while finally looking at me and wiping my tears away.

"I just miss my family that's all"

"You're lying, you've always been a bad liar"

"Am not. I smelled the weather and it smelt like how it did back home and now I miss them. Geez bugger off"

I said while pushing his hands off of me. He just stood there and watched me while I took my attention back to the window. I felt bad for pushing him away but he ignored me all week while I tried talking to him.

"Why are you here anyways? You're not a morning person and you don't even like the library" I asked while I looked at the pouring rain.

"I went to your dorm and you weren't there, Amelia heard me knocking and she came out from hers to tell me you were here" Fred had told me while approaching me even closer.

I ignored him. I hated the feeling of being alone but suddenly I wanted to feel that just to take my mind away from distractions.

"I've been wanting to talk to you, just never found the right Time of when I should"

Fred had sounded sad or just as lonely as I felt. I turned to Look at his face and it wasn't too bright anymore. He had looked stressed and he even had dark under eyes just like I have. His freckles seemed lost and his body was tense. We were now looking in each other's gloomy eyes.

"You could've talked to me when I tried talking to you but you ignored" I whispered.

"I'm sorry." Fred never apologized unless he really meant it, he was genuine about this apology.

"Fred, I do miss my family. But I also missed you-a lot. I know these past few weeks have been busy and the hardest for the both of us. I'm sorry If I came off rude I just - ...I just hate being Alone at times like these. I've been feeling scared about what my present events and what the future holds."

A few more tears had rolled down my face as a the words came out of my mouth. Fred had looked down, breaking eye contact once he spoke.

"Snow...I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to feel you, I wanted to wake up to you in the morning...I missed you too. But These past two weeks kicked my arse. Quidditch practice, Classes and exams, The stupid N.E.W.T.s George and I don't care about. Mum doesn't really support our Joke shop idea and I've just been thinking about my life being a waste"

My heart felt broken. I could relate to Fred but what I didn't know was how stressed he really was. I've payed too much attention to myself that I never realized how he looked or even felt. I felt dumb after reading the situation wrong.

I tilted his head back up to look him in his eyes and tell him,

"Don't ever consider your life of 'being a waste'. You're way more than that Freddie. There is people out there who absolutely adore and look up to you and even more people that get all giddy and excited when you're around." I've never seen Fred cry before ever in my life or even show such emotions but when I looked deeply into his eyes I could see a small puddle of water that wanted to escape.

I continued to walk closer to him, now our bodies fully touching. I proceeded to whisper and finish what I was saying while looking up at him.

"And there is also a girl who is absolutely lost without you in her life and not to mention she's totally mad about you" I added and chuckled at the last sentence with ugly tears running down my face.

Fred had chuckled a bit too at the words I ended with but he darted his eyes from one of my eyes to the other. He gently grabbed my chin and pulled me into a deep kiss. We stood there in the embrace of each other while sharing the slow kiss as if time didn't exist.

Fred had pulled away and looked at me once again.

"Snow, I L......"

But he stopped. My heart was beating fast at the thought of what he could've said or was going to say.

"...You what ...Freddie?"

"I'm Lost without you as well. We've known each other for almost our whole lives and for the two months we spent together of finally being close I...I just wished it happened sooner."

Something was telling me that, that was not all he wanted to say. I had took in the words he spilled and completely just evaporated into them.

"And I suppose I'm totally mad about you too" he added while shrugging.

We both giggled silently a bit after I flicked his ear but before I could punch his throat, he had pulled me in by my neck and brought me into an even more deepened kiss. I had missed his touch, the soft to roughness in him.

"I really missed you" he whispered as he brought his mouth to my neck, pulling down my turtle neck shirt to suck my now exposed skin. His lips were so soft and cold on my warm neck. Shivers on my back creeped up on me as chills went down my body but not because of the breeze weaving in through the window .

"I really missed you too" I told him, while pushing him off. "But, not in here" I added while pointing to Madam Pince.

"Name your time and place then" he smiled and smirked while lazily opening his eyes.

I thought to myself, last time he was in control so maybe it's my turn. I could even add in the pink vibrator like he suggested but I had other things in mind.

"My dorm, tonight at midnight" I said as I scooted my lips closer to his face.

I had started kissing with my tongue near his ear and let a soft moan out of his mouth just from my touch. I had took my hand and palm and started from his chest, sliding it down to his crotch. He had gave me a nice low "fuuuck"

I stopped sucking near his ear to whisper; "Don't be late Freddie, I really hate being lonely" I whispered seductively. And palmed him slightly.

I had left him hard in the library and in my head I made the perfect the plan of what I wanted to do. I got excited all day. I can't wait for him.

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Anyways, HEY. So i feel like I rushed a lot during this story and believe me there is going to be way more drama but I hope I didn't make it all messy and out of place.

Also outfit Inspo: grabbed from Pinterest like always