𝟐𝟑

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Abby asked, a worried furrow in her brow, holding some textbooks in her hands.

She was already running late for her next class, even after I insisted I would be fine going back to my old dorm to retrieve the rest of my things. Abby still seemed uncertain, I reassured her repeatedly that I wouldn't it be going back alone.

"Seriously, I'll be fine, go to class." I dismiss her, a lightheartedness in my tone and shooing her out of the room.

She gave me a stern look, one of "I don't like this one bit, but fine."

She existed the room, saying a soft "see you later" before shutting the door behind her.

I take a deep breath- one that I felt like I had to hold when Abby was around. It's not like I didn't trust her or think she'd be shitty about it- I just didn't want her to get involved with my baggage.

Over the last couple of days, I've learned a lot about her. She was older than most students and in her 6th year of her major. She was studying psychology to be a physical therapist, her dad being a doctor himself, and wanting to follow in his footsteps.

It was a relief talking to her. She was like an open book and seemed more emotionally level-headed, unlike my ex roommate.

Abby was like sunrises by the lake, calm and only chirps of the birds breaking through the stillness of the morning dew. She was simple, calm and reliable- at least that's my first impressions of her.

If I had any self-respect, I'd forget- forget about Ellie and all the shit we went through, good and bad. I'd move on and put my time and heart into someone that would never make me feel the way Ellie did, but when you love someone, it makes it more complicated than that.

Ellie was a wildfire, a burning hot force, destroying anything that gets in its path, but in the same breath, she was an ocean, some parts deep and unknown- untouched by the human hand, giant waves ruthless with its fury and other parts vibrant with color and life. I wanted to be the first to know what was beneath the surface.

It was 3:30 on the dot, purposefully waiting that extra half hour in case Ellie was running late to her classes again.

'Can you meet me at the old dorm in 5?' I bit my nails, anxiously awaiting for Olivia to respond, the 3 dots almost immediately appearing.

'Yes ma'am :)'

Olivia was going to try to make light of the situation, wanting to distract me from the weight of it, and to be honest, I'm grateful. If she wasn't here to help me with this, I'd be more of a mess than I already am.

"O-okay." I take a deep, shaky breath, to myself, picking up the plastic totes that Abby so graciously lent me use to pack my things, and leave the room.

-"Seriously why did you bring your raggedy stuffed animals with you?"

I furrow my brow, shooting liv a unamused stare."Is now really the time to hate on me?"

She forces an apology, slightly laughing at my distressed state, well... distressed was a understatement. I was sweating, shoving all my belongings into boxes as fast as I could. I wanted to be long gone way before I knew Ellie would be returning. -

It felt like no time at all had passed, but really it had been a couple hours, olivia and I both working together in organized chaos; eventually, the room had no traces left of me.

I wiped my forehead with my sleeve, ridding it of the sweat that formed as I put the last overpacked tote outside of the room before returning to make sure I didn't forget anything.

"I think that's it." I sigh deeply, not necessarily in a bad way, just relived knowing that I wouldn't have to come back here.

Olivia hums in response, glancing between the now unevenly distributed room.

I can't help but think this room once was two different spaces, and over time they meddle into one, our clothes overlapping on the floor, one bed becoming forgotten when we started to share our nights.

Olivia must have caught on to the way my eyes glossed over, deep in reminiscing on the good memories I've shared in the room, and conveniently forgetting the bad.

Her hand came up to my shoulder, squeezing it lightly."Let's go get something to eat, yeah?" She asked in her usual happy-go-lucky tone, but I can tell she was forcing it.

I give her a weak smile, trying my best to reassure that I was going to be okay. "Sounds good-"

I was cut off by the noise of the students in the hallway growing louder into the room from the now open door, my stomach immediately dropping, knowing it could only be one person.

"Sky?" Ellie sounded just as surprised as I was as our eyes meet.

"Fuck." I say under my breath, feeling completely unprepared for this encounter.

I was speechless and so was Ellie, her eyes wide and still standing in the doorway of the room.

"I'll let you two talk." Liv whispered in my ear as her hand came down and squeezed mine at my side.

Olivia passes Ellie in the doorway, knowing her, she definitely gave her a murderous glare before slipping past her and into the hall, although I can't say I'd expect any different. She was my best friend after all.

Ellie steps inside the room, shutting the door behind her and leaving us in each others company, hidden away where no one could see.

"I don't want to fight with you, Els-"

The familiar nickname shot a bullet through Ellie's heart, once such an endearing sound that came from my lips- now felt distant and cold.

"-I just came for my things... that's all." I spoke quietly, purposefully sounding closed off to ensure that she didn't confuse my presence for something more, but it fell on deaf ears.

She took long strides over to me, her hands caressing my arms before pulling me in for an embrace.

She held me tightly, her head resting in the crook of my neck, breathing in the scent of me like she needed her fix of it.

My fist clenched at my sides, fighting back to urge to hold her closer. I try pulling away, but she wouldn't fucking budge.

"Stay... please sky, let me make this right." She pleaded whispers in my skin, sounding so little I almost didn't recognize it.

Her words muddled in my brain, the shock of seeing her was now overlapped with anger. "It's already done, Ellie. I had a new room assigned."

She pulls back, eyes narrowed in and eyebrows curled. She was confused, bewildered that I actually fell through with it.

"What?-" she scoffed, shaking her head in denial. "What do you mean? I told you, I changed- that I won't do that shit anymore."

I sigh deeply, the anger rising in her voice immediately making me want to surrender to her to avoid any further damage.

"Ellie- I can't do this anymore, and if you care about me in the slightest, you'd understand."

I watch her closely, holding my breath. She was frantic, and maybe even in denial. Her head was shaking, looking at the floor and shifting her weight where she stood.

Honestly, she looked like shit, but in the hottest way you can imagine, dark circles around her eyes, lips more chapped than usual and strands of her hair hung loosely from her low bun.

She halted her pacing, her eyes shifting from the floor to look at me. Her eyes were dark, pupils dilated to a pinpoint, and she was pissed.

"What's her name?"

My head tilted slightly at the question, confused that she'd ask such a thing.

"What?" I slightly scoff, getting annoyed that her anger felt directed at me.

"Her name- what is it, Skyler?"

She took a step forward, her chest almost bumping against mine with each breath she took. She glared down at me, her jaw clenching because of my lack to respond quick enough.

"I-I'm not saying, Els..." my voice dropped into a whisper, looking away in fear as she loomed over me.

I hear her mutter a frustrated groan, backing away to pace some more before siting on her bed. Her head hung low in her hands, taking deep breaths to stop herself from making the situation worse because the truth is.. she really was trying to change. She wanted to keep her promises.

I stood there, arms wrapped around myself tightly, and looking at my shoes. This is what I wanted, right? I wanted to move on, focus on myself and do right by me, so why does my heart still flutter at the sight of her?

She sat with her own thoughts for what felt like hours, stoping herself from saying what she instinctively wanted to say, not wanting to give me a reason to never speak to her again.

"So this is it-? M' just suppose to forget about you and pretend to not know you when I walk past you in the halls?" Her head came up, a sadness written between the creases of her brows.

I hummed, not trusting my words that would immediately deny such a statement.

"Please, sky... just tell me her name." She was begging now, her voice softer and lush with torment. At that moment, she truly did need to know; she needed to know if she should be worried.

"You know why I can't tell you that.."

My refusal hit Ellie at that moment; I didn't trust her. I couldn't. Her violent tendencies used to be overlooked by me, but now that the pink-tinted sunglasses have cracked- I have to put the safety of others in mind.

She stood from the bed in utter defeat- at least that's the show she was putting on, and wrapped me in her grip. It felt like a goodbye, like finally she was taking me seriously, and this time I hugged her back.

She held me close, her arms wrapping around my waist while mine rested on her shoulders, and my face nuzzled in her chest.

I felt tears welling in my eyes, threatening to break, but I force them away. I didn't want Ellie to think I still depended on her to make me feel loved- I needed to learn how to do that myself.

We break away, Ellie wiping away a tear that trailed her cheek. Her eyes shifted away from me as she cleared her throat.

I grab my phone from the empty mattress, waving a weak goodbye as I walk towards the door.

"I meant it-"

Ellie voiced caused me to halt in my tracks, my hand stopping the turning of the handle.

"I love you, Skyler."

My breath hitches, the words sounding almost too inviting coming from Ellie's mouth. It was sweet and full of honesty, but I couldn't know that for sure.

I didn't look back, I squeeze my eyes shut before going forward with my decision. 'This doesn't change anything.' I opened the door and leave her, and this time, it's going to be different.

Ellie's pov"I love you, Skyler." I said it in a desperate attempt, one last plea for forgiveness, but I know her better than that.

She left, probably thinking this was the last time she'd have to deal with my shit.

I couldn't give her up that easily.

I waited a few seconds before leaving the room, my eyes scanning the hall until I found her. I lingered behind, making sure to to keep my distance from her.

I knew it was wrong and definitely considered stalking, but I had to know where and who she was rooming with, just in case she needed help.

I wasn't even thinking about how morally wrong this was or how Skyler would definitely hate me if she caught me, my body just moving on instinct to keep her in my grasp in any way I could.

I thought about the possibilities of it, purposely going out of my way to cross her path, getting glances of her in any way I could. If she saw me enough, or even if we shared small talk between classes, maybe we could start over.

She follow her down to one of the wings of the first floor, mentally taking a sigh of relief that she was still living in the same building.

I stayed back, keeping my head low as I watch her struggle with the heavy tote in her hands. I giggle to myself as she kept the box balanced on her knee that she hiked up, using her now free hand to knock on the door.

The door opened, and she was smiling? Her face lighting up upon seeing the mystery person on the other side, hands immediately reaching out to take the heavy item from her.

I considered changing my position, wanting to get a look at who the other person was, but I didn't have to.

A tall, muscular woman stepped out, bending down and lifting the 2 totes that were placed beside the door- assuming Olivia had dropped them off when she left Skyler and I alone.

I don't know what that bitch said that made Skyler look so fucking happy, but there she was, practicing hanging off her arm as they disappeared into the room.

I didn't recognize her, but I didn't have to. I'll find out everything there is to know about her, and I will get Skyler back.