Chapter 15

Rose came to only a moment later, though she was still mostly out of it. Sweat beaded her forehead, and her eyes darted to and fro, focusing on nothing. She seemed delirious with pain, and it was only getting worse. Her moans turned to gasping breaths, interspersed only by her voice frantically mumbling, 'Comrade, what about our trainings...I don't want this to put me out of practice,' over and over. Her eyes would close, her lips would go slack, and then she'd shake her head and repeat it all over again. I would have laughed if I weren't so worried.

By the time I reached the clinic her words were barely coherent anymore. Sobs mingled with her cries of pain, and the sounds struck me right in the heart each time. I couldn't bear to see her like this, and the fact that there was nothing I could do to help her left me feeling weak and powerless.

Dr. Olendzki materialised only a moment after I called for her, alarmed both by the anxiety in my tone and the yells tearing from Rose's throat.

'What's happened?' she barked, sharp eyes flitting over Rose's body.

'Not sure,' I panted. 'Her foot got caught in a bench. It might be broken.'

'Set her down on the bed over there,' she pointed, 'I'll get morphine.'

I did as instructed, laying an unconscious Rose down on the harsh hospital bed. I wanted to stay with her, but by that time the others had made it to the clinic and were crowding by the entrance.

Lissa's voice was loudest of all. 'Rose, Rose? Where is she?' She had been trying to keep up with my strides, adamant to stick by her friend, but in my haste to get to the clinic she had fallen behind.

I turned to reassure her. 'Lissa,' I called, fighting to keep my voice steady, 'she's in here.' Seeing me, Lissa rushed to the doorway and peered inside, fear clouding her eyes. I was just about to say something else when those eyes suddenly lifted to mine and held.

'I need to be with her.'

'Of course—' I began.

'Alone.'

I stared at her, all coherent thought gone from my head.

'It'll only take a moment,' Lissa continued, her voice silky and smooth.

And suddenly, what she said made complete sense. Why shouldn't she be alone with her friend? I nodded and stepped away from the doorway, watching as Lissa slipped quietly inside. As soon as she sat next to the bed, Rose's wails quieted and she grew still. Somewhat reassured, I left the girls alone for a moment and walked over to let the others know that the situation was under control and that they could leave now.

A moment later Dr. Olendzki came hurrying back through the hallway with her medicines and entered the room. As soon as she was finished doctoring I squeezed back inside, anxious to see what state Rose was in. Seeing that the doctor needed space to do her work, Lissa gave a nod of assent and left.

I stood by Rose's bed while the doctor prodded and examined and at last declared that nothing was wrong, not with her foot, ankle, or leg. And from what I could see, indeed nothing seemed to be damaged. Her ankle was a little red, but other than that, no bruises or other serious marks.

'Strange,' the doctor mumbled, frowning down at her patient, 'I would have thought with all that noise she was making...'

I was too relieved to question it. After a while there wasn't anything left for Olendzki to do, so she left the room on the assurances that I would keep watch on her.

So I took a seat, and I watched. I watched her slack face, finally relaxed in painless sleep. The dark long lashes that framed her eyes, slightly damp from the tears she had shed. The slightly upturned nose, which I knew must come from her mother. The soft lips, red from where she had bitten them. My eyes trailed down to her chest, gently heaving with her steady breaths, down past a flat stomach and strong legs to her one exposed calf—which to my repeated surprise, was completely fine.

I replayed the incident with the bench, recalling the way the leg had twisted, the way she had been propelled forward, the crack...how on earth could she be undamaged? She had to have insanely good genes.

It reminded me of something else, something the others had told me about Rose. I had heard so many stories about her, about her recklessness, her flirtatiousness, her supposed "unhinged violence". Rumours and exaggerations. But there was one story that had stuck out from the rest, the story of the accident that had killed Lissa's family. Rose and Lissa had both survived, but there had been some differences in why they had. Lissa had been seated in the most safe spot in the car, but Rose...she had been as exposed as the rest. And yet she had survived, again thanks to what had to amount to a body capable of remarkable recovery—either that, or she had to have a guardian angel. I resolved to find out more about it...if she would tell me.

Rose came to about an hour later, eyes flickering open to stare at the white ceiling. I had been so intent on her sleeping face, so lost in my own daydreams that for a moment I didn't want to break the spell that had fallen over me.

At last I leaned toward her and spoke.

'Rose.'

At the sound of my voice Rose turned her head and met my eyes.

'Hey,' she managed, her voice broken from the screaming. Screaming that had caused echoes of her pain to be felt in my own body.

'How do you feel?' I asked, assessing her. The dark eyes were clear enough, though a slight frown of confusion marred her forehead.

'Weird. Kind of groggy.'

'Dr. Olendzki gave you something for the pain,' I explained, still surprised that she seemed so fine now. 'You seemed pretty bad when we brought you in.'

'I don't remember that... How long have I been out?'

'A few hours.'

'Must have been strong,' she mumbled, eyes drifting from my face. 'Must still be strong.' She began to move the toes on her exposed foot, testing the movement. 'I don't hurt at all,' she said, disbelief lacing the words.

I shook my head. 'No. Because you weren't seriously injured.' And thank god for that.

That deepened her frown. 'Are you sure? I remember...the way it bent. No. Something must be broken.' She heaved herself up into a sitting position before I could offer to help her. 'Or at least sprained.'

I moved to intercede her before she could make any sudden movements. 'Be careful. Your ankle might be fine, but you're probably still a little out of it.'

She shifted to the edge of the bed more carefully and peered down, her features settling into a look of relieved astonishment.

'God, I got lucky,' she breathed. 'If I'd hurt it, it would have put me out of practice for a while.'

I smiled and returned to my chair, feeling warmth spread through my chest. 'I know. You kept telling me that while I was carrying you. You were very upset.' Her delirious words drifted through my head. Promise I can still practice with one leg?

'You...you carried me here?' Rose looked like she didn't know what to make of that.

'After we broke the bench apart and freed your foot.'

She mulled this over for a moment, then she suddenly hung her head and groaned. 'I was taken down by a bench.'

I stared at her, confused. 'What?'

'I survived the whole day guarding Lissa, and you guys said I did a good job. Then, I get back here and meet my downfall in the form of a bench.' She squeezed her eyes shut. 'Do you know how embarrassing it is? And all those guys saw, too.'

'It wasn't your fault,' I said gently. 'No one knew the bench was rotted. It looked fine.'

'Still. I should have just stuck to the sidewalk like a normal person. The other novices are going to give me shit when I get back.'

Trust Rose to be mortified over something like that. Holding back a smile, I said, 'Maybe presents will cheer you up.'

She sat up straighter, eyes going round with curiosity. 'Presents?'

Unable to help myself, I grinned at her enthusiasm and handed her a small box with a piece of paper stuck to it.

'This is from Prince Victor.' He had snuck in while I'd been allowing myself a short doze. I'd woken up to find him quietly studying Rose's ankle, and hearing my movement, he'd turned to express his relief that she was unharmed and that he wished for me to give her his present, since he needed to return to bed and rest. I'd assured him that I would.

Rose was quiet while her eyes flitted across the note. 'That's nice of him,' she murmured, opening the box. Her eyes widened at what was inside. 'Whoa. Very nice.'

She plucked the necklace up from the clinging paper and held it up, looping its chain over her head. The diamond-crusted rose glimmered where the light struck it, fitting snugly just above her neckline. Rose might not have been the type to be overly impressed by jewellery, but I still had the wistful image of me being the one to drape something like that around her neck.

'This is pretty extreme for a get-well present,' she noted, fingering the glistening pendant.

'He actually bought it in honour of you doing so well on your first day as an official guardian. He saw you and Lissa looking at it.'

She absorbed this information with muted awe. 'Wow. I don't think I did that good of a job.'

'I do.'

Grinning, she placed the necklace back in the box and set it on the sidetable. 'You did say "presents," right? Like more than one?'

I laughed outright and handed her the bag with my present. 'This is from me.'

Puzzlement and excitement lit up her face as she opened it up, and I drank in the sight of it. All those times she had complained about how she was running out of lip gloss, thinking I wasn't paying attention. Well...now she knew I did.

'How'd you manage to buy this?' she demanded to know. 'I saw you the whole time at the mall.'

'Guardian secrets,' I disclosed, resisting a wink.

She smiled and met my gaze. 'What's this for? For my first day?'

'No,' I said simply, and before I could halt the words, 'because I thought it would make you happy.'

She moved, and before I knew what was happening she had leaned forward and hugged me. 'Thank you,' she murmured into my ear.

I was so surprised, so unprepared for the touch and scent of her to engulf me that I remained stiff as a plank in her arms. I relaxed a few moments later, just allowing myself to sink into that physical connection, and finally dared to reach around and rest my hands on her lower back. And that tension that was always in my body, that need to be with her, to close the space between us and just be near...it just melted away. The skin on her back seemed to burn through the material of her shirt against my hands. I thought I could stay like this forever, but finally I had to speak.

'I'm glad you're better,' I murmured against her hair, just above her ear. 'When I saw you fall...' I swallowed.

'You thought, "Wow, she's a loser."'

'That's not what I thought.' I pulled back slightly so that I could see her better—and so that she could see me. Because those words could never leave my lips, could never exist between us.

But in that moment I was careless enough to want her to see, to know. And staring into her eyes, I thought she did know, that she understood what it was between us. Her eyes were dark and bottomless and seemed to see and know everything about me in that moment. My need for her burned deep within me, and as if in a trance my hand lifted to her face. Ever so slowly and carefully I traced my fingers along the edge of her cheekbone, moving up the side of her face. She shivered, and her shiver echoed through my body. Touching her made me feel complete in a way I had never felt before. I couldn't stop. I wound a lock of her dark hair around one finger, just marvelling at the silky feel of it.

Her throat moved as she swallowed, and she dragged her eyes up to mine. I thought she might have been staring at my lips, but I couldn't be sure. Was she as affected by me as I was by her? Could it be? Just the thought of it...of kissing her, of closing the distance and pressing my lips to her soft ones. God, I could never handle that. To live with the shame of it, to know I had crossed a barrier so forbidden...how could I live with myself? If I kissed her I was lost, if I wasn't far lost already.

Thankfully, I was saved by a soft knock at the door. The spell broke, and Rose leaned hastily away. I took the time to collect myself while Dr. Olendzki came inside.

'I thought I heard you talking. How do you feel?'

She made Rose lie back down and checked on the ankle again, shaking her head when she once more discovered nothing wrong with it.

'You're lucky. With all the noise you made coming in here, I thought your foot had been amputated. Must have just been shock.' She stepped back. 'I'd feel better if you sat out from your normal trainings tomorrow, but otherwise, you're good to go.'

Rose breathed a sigh of relief, her cheeks turning faintly pink with some private thought. Of me? I wondered. No, probably just embarrassment. I had to get a grip on myself.

When the doctor was gone I walked over to the chair where her things had been stashed and brought her shoes and coat. She watched me silently, though I could swear her blush deepened.

It was my turn to watch while she slipped her shoes back on. Once more I was struck by the vivid image of her ankle twisting...the unnatural angle...and had to blink to make sure that it really was fine. 'You have a guardian angel,' I found myself saying.

'I don't believe in angels,' Rose told me pragmatically. 'I believe in what I can do for myself.'

'Well then, you have an amazing body.' The words slipped out before I could think twice, and Rose glanced up at me with a questioning look, the blush not quite gone. Hurrying to explain, I added, 'For healing, I mean. I heard about the accident...'

I was afraid it would bother her that I brought it up, but thankfully it didn't.

'Everyone said I shouldn't have survived,' she explained. 'Because of where I sat and the way the car hit the tree. Lissa was really the only one in a secure spot. She and I walked away with only a few scratches.'

'And you don't believe in angels or miracles.' I wasn't sure whether I truly did either, but I had been raised in an Orthodox household, and the old traditions and beliefs remained.

'Nope,' Rose began. 'I—'

She fell silent. Her eyes had gone wide and round, all of the whites showing.

'What's wrong?' I insisted.

Her eyes got that focused look. 'Where's Lissa? Was she here?'

'I don't know where she is. She wouldn't leave your side while I brought you in. She stayed right next the bed, right up until the doctor came in. You calmed down when she sat next to you.'

Rose closed her eyes. The colour in her cheeks was gone, and several emotions seemed to cross her face. Confusion. Anger. Sorrow. Horror. I knew she wasn't here anymore—she had to be with Lissa. Yet seeing her vacant face still brought with it the same agitation. There was something off about it, something inherently wrong. Rose teemed with life lust and energy. And this Rose...this Rose scared me.

I started to call her name. Once, twice. First gently, then firmly. Then desperately. Over and over I called her name. I grasped her shoulders and began to shake her, panicking now. She had never been gone this long. She had never looked so bereft. She was suffering, I knew she had to be. And that meant that somewhere, Lissa was too. That's the one I should have been worrying about. Lissa, my charge. I should have left the clinic and searched the school grounds for her, to make sure she was okay. But no part of me was willing to leave Rose's side. I simply couldn't.

Not knowing what else to do, I shouted for Dr. Olendzki, my eyes never leaving Rose's face. The doctor appeared after a moment, confused while I explained, then deeply concerned.

'This happens often?' she asked among other questions, though I was in no position to explain. My lips could only form Rose's name.

When Rose's eyes finally snapped open, I didn't at first notice the change. It took a while for her to reacclimatise herself; she shifted her gaze to the doctor, then back to me, and I saw her face crumple. At long last, the secret she had been keeping, the burden she had been carrying, it all came pouring out. And that was the moment that my relationship with Rose truly changed, because now, for the very first time, I knew that she finally accepted me, finally trusted me. That sense of understanding we shared, that feeling of oneness...for me, it had never felt more complete.

Her voice cracked as she spoke. 'I know where she is. Lissa. We have to help her.'