38

The night was rough.

Though my body was screaming it needed rest and I felt so tired but I couldn't sleep at all.

Cato ended up dozing off, he needed it just as much as I did. I know My father was just as important to him and the Hadley's as he was to me.

Training has been cancelled for the next couple days to get everything cleaned up and break the news in a town wide meeting today.

Everyone last night weren't going. I don't need to see all the pitiful faces looking at me and my mother when they announce my father died.

Since the sun was just rising I decided to go take a shower, though all I really did was just sit on the floor and let the water wash over me, I couldn't manage to do anything else.

Last night kept running through my head, I went back to looking at Odessa's group... Why didn't I say something.

If I just said something it could've changed everything, I know that will be with me forever now. More guilt to add to the existing.

I must've been in the bathroom a long time, there was a knock on the door. " Kay?" Cato says.

" I'm just finishing up." I weakly say standing up.

I turn off the water grabbing a towel, stepping out. Cato was still standing there his expression was exactly why I didn't want to go anywhere today.

" Stop looking at me like that." I spit.

The wave of anger just washed over me, I said it before I really thought. " Sorry."

" You have nothing to be sorry about." He says. "Everyone will be here in a couple hours, just so you know."

I clench my jaw, the last thing I want to do is see everyone. Even Vad, I know he didn't do anything but his....whatever Odessa was did.

She killed my dad.

" I'll go grab you some clothes." Cato says excusing himself.

I don't say anything, I just turn looking around in the mirror. Who I see looks so broken, her hair is a wet mess, my eyes have dark circles forming and pale skin.

I didn't even know the tears were coming until they were running down my face. Cato comes back in pausing before he walks cautiously over.

" Your ok." He whispers.

I felt to weak to respond, all I could do is cry. The whole time he stood there just letting me cry it out. "Can you get dressed for me?" He asks.

I muster a nod, he smiles softly sending me the clothes " I'll be just out here." He says giving me one more kiss before going out.

He grabbed me some sweats and one of his sweat shirts. Once he leaves I slowly get dressed, I feel a headache come on making me sigh.

What else can go wrong?

Once I get dressed I go out by Cato who was waiting on the bed for me, He looks up inspecting me. " Sit on the bed."

I do as he says, he comes out with a brush sitting behind me. He gently goes through my hair, every little knock the barely pulled he would apologize making me smile a bit, they never even hurt. I'm so thankful he's making an effort.

" Thanks." I whisper, I feel a kiss on my head. "Anything for you Musak."

I feel a small smile form, " Come down stairs, I'll make you something to eat." He says offering his hand for me to take to get up.

" I'm not really hungry."

" Your eating. Just something small." He says.

He goes in the kitchen while I go in the living room, The Tv flashed to the news, and the first thing was the explosion on from last night.

Switch.

Thanks for the reminder Capitol.

I curled up on the couch letting my mind wander, though all I really did was just stare at the Tv blankly. It felt like to much just trying to think.

" Here." Cato says handing me a small plate of eggs.

I look down at them, they looked good but just thinking about eating made me wanna puke.

" Take a bite." Cato demands looking at me.

" Cato-"

" If you don't eat yourself I'll happily feed you. 3 bites and I'll leave you alone."

I glare at him, does it look like I'm in the mood to be bossed around, but 3 bites isn't a lot so I stuff it all in my mouth swallowing. It almost made me puke.

" Good." Cato says grabbing the plate from me.

He grabs a blanket draping it over me before finishing whatever was on my plate.

Awhile later there was the knock on the door, Everyone is here. I didn't feel like crying anymore everything hurts at this point. " I can't Cato." I whine.

" I'll do the talking. I know no one wants to talk today. We just need to talk about the funerals and they'll all be on their way."

" I don't think I can.." I drifted off the tears coming back.

" I'll talk." He assures me.

He opens the door, Baria, Vad, my mother, and the Hadleys, and Neffy all come in.

As soon as my mother sees me she wraps me in a hug, " How are you today?" She asks.

" My face hurts."

She laughs lightly, " Mine too."

" I'm so sorry sweetie." Ms.Hadley says also giving me a hug.

Everyone did telling me how sorry they were except for Vad who looked like he was in his own little world.

" let's get these figured out." Baria says making her way to the table.

I see she wants this done just as fast as I do.

We went through all the details for my dads funeral, We decided he should be cremated, I don't want to see him how he looks right now. I don't want him to be remembered like that.

And a private ceremony, me and my mother don't want all the pity.

All I know Belldonnas are having one for Odessa today in the late afternoon.

We were just finishing up when Vad looked my direction, " Kaylaya..can I talk to you?"

I snap my eyes to his red ones. No.. but I know better to say that. I feel Cato's hand on my leg, letting me know it's ok I should say no but we all need closure or something like that right?

" Yea, We can go up in the loft."

I give Cato's hand a slight squeeze before getting up leading the way to the loft. I don't brother staying standing I sit on one of the chairs while Vad sits on the other one next to me.

I see a tear drop though he quickly wipes it off clearing his throat.

" I want to apologize." I say quickly.

" Apologize?"

" Yea."

" Vad, you have nothing to apologize for-"

" -No I do. I..I told them not to go. I told Dess...." He trialed off, I see his jaw tense like he's reliving the moment  " She was mad, She wanted to make a statement. I should've said something or went after them-"

" -If you went after her you could've been dead to."

He shakes his head, " I just... I know how special you dad was to you. If I said something this wouldn't have happened."

I turn my body more towards him, " I thought the same thing, Me and Cato saw their group when we were walking out of the academy. We should've said something."

Vad stays quiet looking down at his hands, " I guess we can call it even." I finally said. " And... Just know I'm here for you too. Let's not go through this alone."

He lifts his head, " Really? After what I did?"

I shrug, " It's done and over with. Everything worked out so... Clean slate."

I see a small smile form, " Thank you."

" No problem."

Everyone went home shortly after, for the rest of the day I just lounged around and tried not to cry.

————————————————————————-

A couple days later we had the ceremony. I think it was a little easier not seeing him physically though it still hurt.

But we can only go up from here right?

SORRY for the short chapter.... I didn't like the original story line so I changed it lol