CHAPTER 20

After waking up alone in her bed, Aera found a note Chan left her on her nightstand.

She smiled at the words, but felt a pain in her heart. She knew last night was the last time they could be together. She knew it couldn't happen again. She was leaving and she didn't want to make it any harder on either of them.

After dressing and getting ready for the day, Aera went to the kitchen to get some coffee, even though she was a bit reluctant to see Chan after their night together. Neither Chan nor Felix  were in there, which was a bit of a relief. It was just Minhee and the two kids eating breakfast. Aera grabbed her coffee like she did so many other mornings, but this time it was different. This time her days in this house, with this family, were numbered. And a sense of sadness washed over her.

"Good morning, guys," Aera said to the kids.

"Hi, Aera!" Jaehyun shouted as he shovelled a spoonful of Lucky Charms in his mouth.

"Hi, Aera," Areum said more quietly than her older brother with a sweet smile spread across her face. They made Aera's heart burst with happiness and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Aera, I think I'm gonna lose my toof," Areum said, wiggling her bottom front tooth.

"No way! Let me see," Aera said, walking over to her quickly, watching as she wiggled it for her.

"Eww, gross," Aera said in an over-the-top manner. Areum giggled at her reaction.

"I can pull that out for you," Aera told her matter-of-factly.

"You can?" She asked, crumpling up her face.

"Yeah. Hold on a sec," Aera said and darted for the kitchen area.

She materialized a pair of tongs out of the drawer and brought them over to Areum, clinking them together as she did.

"No!" Areum giggled. Jaehyun was laughing at Aera's antics too – even Minhee had a smirk on her face.

"You can't use that!" Areum laughed.

"Why not? I can just grab on... let me... open... open up, baby," Aera laughed as she tried to get her to open her mouth. She giggled, but held her mouth closed tightly, trying to squirm away from Aera.

"What are you goofy kids doing in here?" Chan asked from behind them. Aera immediately tensed up, backing up away from Areum.

"Aera is trying to pull my toof with those thongs," Areum said and Aera giggled.

"Tongs, Areum. They're tongs," Aera corrected her with a smirk.

"Yeah, you don't need to know what thongs are until you're thirty," Chan laughed.

Aera walked back over to the kitchen area, behind the centre-island and replaced the tongs back in the drawer. Chan came over to grab a cup of coffee and then stood by Aera behind the counter.

"Felix  and I are going to go out. I just wanted to let you guys know. We shouldn't be gone long though. I'll have my cell phone on. So will Felix ," Chan said, loud enough for both Aera and Minhee to hear.

Minhee nodded her head in comprehension. And Aera said a quiet "okay". Minhee's attention fell back onto the kids as Chan's fell onto Aera. His eyes were happy to see her, but she could see the sadness behind them. Chan grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly before letting it go.

"I'll see you later," he said quietly and Aera nodded.

With that he turned and walked out of the kitchen. And Aera was left standing there in a daze. Seeing him no longer made her happy, it just left her feeling sad and lonely. Her heart ached in his presence.

...

It didn't take Aera long to pack up her Australian life – she didn't have much. Most of her belongings were in Korea , where she would be in two days.

Later that day when it was her time to watch the kids, Aera found them in the den playing with Felix  and Chan. Areum was cooking them 'dinner' with some of her toys and Jaehyun was lying on his stomach on the floor, playing with a few toy cars, making loud explosion noises as the cars crashed together.

"Good, you're both here," Chan said, smiling as Aera came into the living room. Aera looked at him curiously before noticing Minhee sitting on the sofa.

"I've made a decision to take the kids to spend the rest of the summer in Brisbane with my mum," Chan informed them and Aera nodded. Minhee sat silently staring at Mr. Bang.

"I will no longer need the two of you to help out with the children, because my mum will help me while we're over there," Chan explained and Aera nodded again, but looked at the rug on the floor instead of up at him.

"I will be paying you both for the whole summer, so don't worry about losing out on money. And I will be paying for both of your plane tickets home," Chan told them finally.

"Chan – no," Aera protested, finally looking up at him.

"No, no. We paid for your tickets here, we'll pay for you to get home. We are the reason you're here," he insisted and Aera nodded again, looking back down at the rug. It took all she had to disregard the 'we' in his sentence – meaning Jihye . She didn't want to think about Jihye .

"What I need from the two of you is to start helping me pack things up – tonight. We're leaving at the end of the week," Chan told them and both girls nodded in compliance.

"Daddy, we get to go see Gramma, Grandpa , Uncle Lucas and Auntie Hannah?" Areum asked.

"Yes, baby. And they are so excited to see you," he said, smiling at his only daughter.

"Yay!" Jaehyun cheered, jumping up and down. Areum joined in as well and Aera couldn't help but smile at them.

"I can help you start packing now, Mr. Bang," Minhee offered as she stood up from the sofa.

"No, Minhee. It's your time off. Go do... whatever you do," he said awkwardly. She nodded, but hesitated.

"Go ahead, Minhee. I'm finished. That's all I had to say," he said, smiling at her. She nodded again and left the living room.

"She's hilarious," Felix  said, laughing at Minhee's awkwardness.

"She's something else," Chan agreed, laughing along with Felix .

"Are you guys ready to play?" Aera asked the kids, trying to muster as much excitement as she could.

"Yay!" They both cheered again and Areum came over to hug Aera's leg. She rubbed at the little girl's back.

Felix  stood up and left the room, but Chan stayed for a moment, watching them.

"Daddy, are you going to stay to play?" Jaehyun asked. Aera looked over at Chan curiously.

"I would, but I think Aera wants you all to herself. She's going to miss you guys," Chan told them.

Aera smiled because she did want them all to herself. She wanted to be free to have fun with them without the constant waves of sadness crashing over her with their father in the room.

"I'm gonna miss you, Aera," Areum said, tightening her grasp on her thigh.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Aera!" Jaehyun said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much. You're my favourite kids... ever," Aera told them as she wrapped her arms around them.

"You three have fun," Chan said, smiling at them, catching Aera's eye for a moment before he left the room.

...

After dinner – Chan, Minhee and Aera began packing up the kids' belongings. Aera started in Areum's room as she played with her dolls. Minhee started in Jaehyun's room as he played with his toys. Chan came into Areum's room, of course, to help Aera. They moved around in silence, but they both were agonisingly aware of each other.

The two of them put Areum to bed together after they had most of her things packed away and then went down to Jaehyun's room to help put him to sleep. Berry was lying at the foot of his bed as Jaehyun lay under the covers.

"Aera, I'm really going to miss you," Jaehyun said sadly as Aera hugged him.

"Same here, buddy. But we can keep in touch. We can talk on the phone and write letters if you want," Aera reassured him. He excitedly nodded his head and Aera smiled widely at him.

"We'll make sure to keep in touch with her, buddy," Chan said, giving Aera a knowing look.

"Okay," Jaehyun said as he hugged his father.

When Chan and Aera left Jaehyun's room, Minhee was nowhere in sight. Aera felt kind of bad for her that the kids were both fawning all over her, saying how much they were going to miss her, but weren't doing such things with Minhee.

"Hey, come here," Chan said, grabbing her hand, pulling her in the direction of his room.

"Chan, no," Aera said as he pulled her in and shut the door.

He dropped her hand, but immediately grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Chan, we can't," Aera said, pulling back from him.

"Why not?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at her.

"Because..." She said sadly, dropping her gaze to look at his shirt rather than look him in the eye.

"Aera, why not?" He asked firmly.

"Because... I've already said goodbye to you. I've already begun to put this behind me," Aera told him quietly, her eyes looking anywhere but in his eyes.

"No, don't. Please don't put this behind you," he said in a pleading tone.

"Chan..." Aera sighed, closing her eyes tightly.

"Aera, what are you saying?" He asked sadly.

"I wanted things with you I never had with anyone else. But you've already had it all, Chan, and it's not fair to me," she told him. She was second place in a contest where there were no winners.

"Aera..." He said sadly.

"I think we just need to end it now," she said, still not able to look at him.

"What about in the future?" He asked hopefully.

"I don't know what the future holds. If it's meant to be, it will happen," she told him vaguely, finally looking up at him. He looked a little relieved that she wasn't completely writing him off.

"I don't understand why we can't just be together these last two days, Aera. I'm really going to miss you," he told her, his eyes pleading.

"Chan, it hurts too much. It makes me too sad," she told him honestly.

"I-I'm sorry," he said morosely, his vision falling to the floor for a moment.

"So am I," she told him quietly.

"Come here," he said, wrapping his arms around her. Aera did the same and held onto him tightly as her tear drops silently fell.

"I'm sorry, Aera. I wish I was ready," he breathed, kissing the top of her head.

"Chan, it's not your fault you aren't ready and I couldn't expect you to be. You're going through something so heartbreaking and life changing. I just want you to focus on your kids. They need you so much," Aera told him and she felt his grip tighten around her.

"I love you for that," Chan breathed against her ear.

"For what?" Aera asked, pulling back just enough to look at him.

"For caring so much about them. You are amazing," he told her, his green eyes staring into hers.

"I'm really going to miss them," Aera said as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"We're all going to miss you," Chan whispered, swiping his thumb under her eyes to wipe away the tears.

Aera leaned up to kiss him quickly. Chan gripped onto the back of her neck and kissed her more deeply, more passionately before he finally let her go.

"Goodnight, Chan," Aera whispered a moment later.

"Goodnight, Aera," Chan said, smiling softly at her.

Aera grasped the door handle, pulling it open. She gave Chan one last sombre look before she turned and walked out of his room.

...

The next day went by in a flash – from breakfast in the morning, to spending her time off with Chan and Felix  by the pool, to continuing her time out by the pool with the kids, to dinner, to bath time, to bed time. It was the last day Aera would be going through the motions she went through so many times during the summer. It was bittersweet. But she knew she would see Jaehyun and Areum again.

Aera went down to her room that night to double check her bags. She wanted to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. She was leaving in the morning for the airport and she wouldn't be coming back. When she finished, she was restless. She didn't know what she should be doing. She was too tired to really do anything, but she was too awake to go to sleep.

She crept out of the room and went outside onto the patio. She could see Felix  through the patio door in the pool house watching TV on the couch. He saw her and they waved at each other. Aera sat down in a lounge chair by the pool and just looked up at the stars.

A few moments later, she heard the pool house door open and close and she knew Felix  was coming out to talk to her. He laid down next to her on the neighbouring lounge chair, but stayed silent, just watching the stars with her.

"There's the big dipper. And the little dipper," she said, pointing up to the sky, causing Felix  to chuckle.

"Orion's belt," Felix  said, pointing it out.

They fell silent again as Aera's eyes found the constellation Felix  mentioned, trying to piece the rest of Orion together.

"He's really going to miss you. He's a mess," Felix  spoke softly. Aera's heart squeezed in her chest – it was almost hard to breathe at the mention of Chan.

"He wants to give you your space, but he wants to spend as much time with you as possible before you leave," Felix  told her.

"I leave in the morning," Aera whispered.

"I know. And Chan is extremely aware of that," Felix  replied.

Aera stared into nothingness – her eyes were blurring from the tears. She couldn't look at Felix  for fear of breaking down in front of him.

"He's going to miss you so much," Felix  told her.

"I'm really going to miss him too," she said softly.

"Then go... be with him," Felix  urged. Aera finally looked over at him timidly.

"It's stupid to avoid each other. Just go. You had one last night. Don't waste it," Felix  insisted, nodding his head toward the house. Aera was frozen in apprehension.

"He wants to make things work with you once things are over with Jihye . She's filed for divorce already," Felix  informed her.

"She... she did?" Aera gasped. Chan never told her. Her heart broke for him. Even though it was a good thing, she still felt incredibly bad for him.

"Yeah. She knew it wasn't working out," he said with a somber nod.

"Did... did Chan tell her about... us?" Aera asked, feeling sick to her stomach.

"No. He doesn't want her to have anything on him when they go to court. He wants full custody of Jaehyun and Areum," Felix  explained.

It all made perfect sense now. Although Aera knew he would need to have some time to grieve his marriage – the separation between them was for his kids' sake rather than his own. He was incredible and selfless and amazing. It caused Aera's heart to flourish for him.

"I-I need to see him," she told Felix  finally as she sat up.

"Yeah. Go," Felix  said, sitting up as well, nodding toward the house. Aera stood up swiftly.

"Thanks, Felix ," she told him.

"For what?" He asked.

"For everything. For caring about Chan. For helping me realize so much. You are a good man," Aera said before bending over to kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, Aera. You're good for Chan," he told her and Aera couldn't help but smile.

She practically ran in the house and up the stairs. When she got to his door she took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. Her heart was beating out of her chest. Inhale. Exhale. Aera knocked softly on the door.

"Come in," she heard Chan's muffled voice through the door. Aera grabbed the doorknob and opened it slowly, finding the room dark.

"Aera?" Chan asked, sitting up in the large bed.

"Chan..." She said as she quickly closed the door behind her.

Chan turned on his bedside lamp and the light illuminated the dark space. He was sitting up in bed, covered up to his waist with no shirt on. He was a vision and she couldn't help but smile at him. He smiled back immediately as she tip-toed toward the bed and sat down at the foot of it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. Neither of them could get their smiles off their faces – they didn't want to.

"I had to see you," she told him.

"I'm glad. Come here," he said, holding out his arms.

Aera crawled up toward him and he took her into his arms, spooning her as their heads hit the pillow.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear and she smiled widely.

"I love you too," she said softly.

Chan kissed her shoulder and just held her against him. He made her feel so safe wrapped up in his arms.

"What made you change your mind?" He whispered through the stillness.

"Felix ," she told him.

"Felix ?" He asked curiously.

"He told me you were taking time from us because you didn't want Jihye  to have anything against you as you fight for full custody for Jaehyun and Areum," she explained.

"Yeah," he breathed lowly, barely above a whisper. Aera turned in his arms so she could look at him.

"Chan, I completely understand that. Honestly, everything you do for those kid's just makes my love for you grow even more. You are such an amazing father," she said with a wide smile.

"My life may not be complete, but it began the day that Jaehyun was born and just got better when Areum was born," he told her sincerely.

"Oh my god. I love you so much," Aera gushed, her heart feeling as if it were bursting with love from his words. It left her hoping someday she might bear one of his children.

"I love you too. I love you for all you do for them," he told her, kissing her sweetly.

Aera wrapped her arms around him and just held him, her ear to his chest, listening to his big heart beating.

"I'm sorry I'm damaged goods, Aera. I wish I could be ready for this right now. I wish you could come with me to Brisbane  to meet my mum and sister and to just be with us. I wish we could start this right now. I wish..." Chan said, getting really sad.

"Shh. It's okay. We have time. I promise," Aera cooed, shushing him before kissing his lips softly.

"Please, Chan. Just hold me. I want to fall asleep in your arms," Aera told him. His arms wrapped around her as she shifted her body back so he was spooning her again.

"I love you," he breathed quietly in her ear.

"I love you too," she told him with a smile on her face.

Aera fell asleep, listening to the quiet whispers of Chan's inhaling and exhaling against her ear. It was the best sleep she'd gotten all summer.