Part 8

November 2016

Dear diary Remember when I told you last time that life is soo great. Well screw that , life is stupid. There's been so much on my mind lately that I just can't get away from.

First of all, I've failed yet another french test, which already ruined my mood, but then when I told mom about it, she wasn't  mad, just really disappointed. I think that's even worse. I could live with her yelling at me, but no, she just said nothing. I love my mom dont get me wrong . She's just always been more strict about my grades and I am good in school, just not in French.

And second of all, I haven't talked to Billie in about 2 weeks. Which is so weird because we usually talk all the time just not since the other day when I was at her house and she...

Well, I still don't know what happened or better what would have happened. Was she trying to kiss me . No, probably not. But it surly looked like it. And why would she even do that. Billie claims that she is straight all the time. And we are just friends. I mean, really good friends who cuddle some times, but that's just how Billie is . She is like that with all her friends . Right?

I just don't know. She hasn't texted me since I left her house. But well, I haven't either...

Real-life

I closed my diary, letting out a deep breath before rubbing my temples. Mabey, I should text her. All casual just to  check in .

Yeah, I'm gonna do that , I thought to myself. But were was my stupid phone any way? I roamed my desk, but nothing. I got up looking all around my room but unsuccessful. "Where the hell..." i mumbled to myself before I caught a glimpse of my phone halfway under my bed .

How did it even get there? I wondered, crouching down to pick it up. As I finally got back up, I opened Billies contact. But before I could even think about what I was gonna write,my phone started vibrating.

Billie was FaceTimeing me .

"Hello?" I called out after I picked up."Hey Val!" Billies voice was muffled, and I was looking at what I'm assuming is Billies' celling. "Sorry for not texting you. I've been busy these past few days."Billie said, finally visible on the screen."No worries. I've been busy with school as well. " I said, propping my phone up against the mirror on my desk so I could start getting ready for bed while calling.

"Was there anything you needed or?" I asked because Billie had been silent for a bit."Yeah, actually. Could you...Could you maybe come over?" She sounded unsure, almost a little shy."Hmm, I don't know Bil it's  pretty late. Is it something important?"

"No, yeah, you're right ,sorry. It's not important anyway." Billie looked nervous? I noticed her eyebrow twitching. Her tourette.

"Billie, you good?" And then it clicked in my brain. She was scared of falling asleep alone. Billie had been struggling with sleep paralysis for a while, not wanting to fall asleep unless she wasn't alone. She didn't have to say it cause I knew she was subconsciously asking me to come over to sleep in a bed with her.

"Ok, hold on . I'll be over in 10." She nooded, and i could make out a faint "thank you" before I hung up.

I grabbed all the things I needed to spend a night at Billies, which was not much because I already had almost everything I needed at Billies. Making my way down the stairs, I could make out the soft sounds of the tv playing. Mom was  sitting on the couch ,flicking through a magazine .

"Where are you going, Valerie?"She looked up at me."Gonna sleep over at Billies tonight, if that's ok.""Yeah, that's fine. Have a good time, honey. " mom said, smiling at me .

As I reached Billies door , I was shivering. Mabey, I should have put on a jacket for the short walk. I reached for the key in the pocket of my hoodie and carefully unlocked the door. It was already past 12 pm, so I didn't want to wake anyone.

I creeped down the hallway to Billies door, giving it a soft knock before opening. Billie looked up at me from her phone, a soft smile creeping up her face.

"You came." She breathed out."Yeah, obviously. For you, always ,"I put my bag down, leaning it against the wall, getting out some shorts and a top to change into.

I went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. Brushing my teeth with the toothbrush I already have at billies and taking off my makeup.

Billie had changed into some basketball shorts and a baggy tee by the time I got back."You ready to sleep?" I asked. Billie just nooded climbing into bed.

I could tell she was tired. She looked like she hadn't sleeped in days. Dark circles had formed under her beautiful blue eyes. And she'd always get all shy when she was tired ,not really saying a word. It was so unlike the typical energetic Billie who would always talk about anything and everything.

I followed her suit, also climbing into bed next to her, pulling the blanket over the both of us. I turned on my side, coming face to face with Billie. "Thx for coming over Val. I really appreciate it." giving me a tired smile. "No problem, really. I sleep better when I'm not alone anyway, "I whispered.

"We should really go to sleep now ,B.""Hmm . One more thing, though." said Billie, breaking the silence. "I need your opinion on something. So Finneas has been wanting to upload Ocean eyes on SoundCloud. He wants everyone to be able to listen to it.  But I'm not sure if I should."

"That sounds like a great idea . Why shouldn't you?" I questioned. "I dont know . I just don't think I'm good enough, you know. " Billie whispered,her hands fiddling with my fingers.

" Billie, you sound amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend . I really mean it . You have a real talent. I swear you're gonna get famous oneday. "

Billie laughed out ."Yeah, sure. I'm so not gonna become famous. "

"Well, you never know." I said laughing as well before yawning.

"Ok, I'm gonna do it. But now let's sleep. " Billies arms slipped around my body, pulling me closer to her.

" Yeah. Good night, Billie, " I said, laying my head in the crook of Billie's neck , getting comfy.

"Good night,Valerie. Sleep well. "

I could feel  myself starting to drift off into sleep ,wrapped up in Billies arms.

A.NNother chapter done. This one took me a while for some reason . Hope you enjoy it.