three

"So let me get this straight. You're saying that you're the daughter of Billy Loomis, and what that one of us is the killer?" Chad asked.

"The killer told me he knew my secret. He attacked Tara to lure me back here." Sam said.

"But then why immediately go and murder some douche-nozzle that was stalking Liv?" Chad asked.

"And why does it have to be one of us? What about Deputy Dewey, maybe he's the killer. No offense." Wes added.

"None taken, but what's my motive?" Dewey asked.

"You got stabbed like a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list." Wes said and Phoebe slapped his arm.

"Well maybe you're the killer, because that cut deep." Dewey said.

"Um guys, that douche-nozzle is connected, I googled him, he was Leslie Macher's son. Stu Macher's sister." Amber said, reading off her phone.

"Who's Stu Macher?" Liv asked.

"Oh my god." Mindy muttered under her breath.

"He's Billy Loomis' accomplice. A real loony tune." Dewey answered.

"Okay. So the first three attacks are all on people related to the original killers." Sam said.

"Oh my god, he's making a requel!" Mindy half shouted in an excited tone.

"A what?" Phoebe asked.

"Or a legacyquel, fans are still torn on the name." Mindy said.

"God please speak english." Chad said.

"Okay, remember the Stab movie that came out last year?" Mindy asked.

"Oh, yeah! The one the Knives Out guy directed right? You know I actually really liked that one." Liv asked.

"Of course you did, you have terrible taste." Mindy said.

"I hate you." Live remarked.

"The point is, the hard-core Stab fans hated it. You go on 4chan and Dreadit, all they're talking about is how Stab 8 pissed on their childhoods. How they crammed in social commentary just to elevate it. How the main character's a Mary Sue." Mindy said.

"What's a Mary Sue?" Richie asked.

"You really don't wanna know." Wes said.

"What's wrong with elevated horror?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah I mean Jordan Peele fucking rules." Amber commented.

"Uh obviously, but that's not Stab." Mindy stated.

"Real Stab movies are meta slasher whodunits, full stop." She added.

"Come on, it's just a movie." She added.

"No it's not. To some people the original is their favorite thing in the whole world. The movie that made them love horror. That mom or dad showed them when they were ten that bonded them together. And god help anyone who slightly fucks with that special memory." Mindy said.

"Who makes a movie they think disrespects it. It sounds like our killer is writing his own version of Stab 8, but doing it as a requel." She added.

"Which is?" Dewey asked.

"See, you can't just reboot a franchise from scratch anymore. The fans won't stand for it. Black Christmas, Child's Play, Flatliners...That shit doesn't work. But you can't just do a straight sequel, either. You gotta build something new. But not too new, or the internet goes bug-fucking-nuts. It's got to be part of an ongoing story line, even if the story shouldn't have been ongoing in the first place." She said.

"New main characters, yes. But supported by and related to legacy characters. Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel, but a requel. It always goes back to the original." Mindy said.

"Are you telling me that I'm caught in the middle of fan-fucking-fiction?" Sam asked.

wink wink

"Not just in the middle, Sam. You're the star." Mindy answered.

"So, not to put too fine a point on it, but, according to the requel rules, who's next?" Liv asked.

"Going by the pattern, whoever it is has to be connected to someone who came before." Mindy said, and everyone looked towards Dewey.

"I'm starting to regret coming here." Dewey said.

"Jesus our mom was a character in one of them." Wes said.

"No one cares about the shitty inferior sequels Wes. You two are safe." Mindy said.

"With Randy as our uncle though, you and I are probably screwed." She said, looking at Chad.

"Wait what?" He asked.

"Or you're the killer, and this whole elaborate monologue is just to cover your tracks." Richie piped up, and Mindy scoffed.

"I think it's pretty clear who the killer is at this point." She said.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"You." She answered, looking at Sam.

"Me?" Sam asked.

"It makes perfect requel sense." Mindy said.

"Yeah, that actually does make sense." Chad added and Sam looked around at everyone.

"Fuck this." She said with a scoff and got up to leave, Richie going after her.

"Nice going Mindy." Phoebe said.

"What, I just gave you all my opinion." She said.

"Well maybe next time try not to be so harsh about it." Phoebe said.

"I'm just trying to help us all not get carved up and put on a freaking mantle like my uncle Randy for our future children to look at." Mindy said pointing in the direction of her uncle's painting above the fireplace.

"I've gotta get home." Liv said as she got up from the couch.

"Yeah me too, I gotta run by the grocery store. My mom asked for me to get a few things." Phoebe said standing up.

"I'm supposed to come with you right?" Wes asked, standing up.

"Yeah, but I can probably just get everything by myself." She said.

"You sure." He asked.

"Yep, I love you okay. I'll see you at home?" She said, swinging her purse over her arm.

"Yep, love you Phebes." Wes said before she left.

As she made her way to the grocery store, her mom called.

"Hey honey." Her mom said.

"Hey mom." Phoebe said.

"Can you pick up some fruit while you're there. I think I'm gonna make a pie this weekend." She said.

"Sure thing, I love you mom." Phoebe said.

"Oh and what's for dinner?" She added.

"I love you too honey, and we're having sushi." She said before hanging up.

After getting everything she needed from the grocery store, Phoebe checked out and loaded the groceries in the car. She got in the car and called her mom to tell her she was on her way but she only got her voicemail.

"Hey this is Judy, I'm busy at the moment but leave a message and I'll call you back."

"Mom, I'm headed home okay. I love you." Phoebe said before hanging up and making her way home.