Chapter 132

Lucy’s POV

June 14th.

The day I leave high school.

What the...

I still can’t believe how fast this has gone. I don’t even know what to think.

“Can you believe it’s our last day?” Leila falls into my arms, wiping her tears all over my fully signed leaver’s shirt. Jack took up most of the space by drawing inappropriate things on me and writing compliments about himself.

“I know!” I coo, squeezing her tightly.

“I can’t believe we’re finally out of this hell hole” Lois smiles widely, dropping her bag on the floor next to me and sitting on a bench on the yard. We’re the only people on here. Mike, Ben and Jack are skipping class which they’re probably going to get bollocked for, and everyone else has probably left school already.

“Leila, ten pounds” Conor smirks, holding his hand out to her.

“What?” she gasps, lifting her head up off me. “Oh for fuck sake” she moans, digging into her pocket and handing him ten pounds.

“What’s this for?” I chuckle.

“She said she wouldn’t cry on our last day” he rolls his eyes.

“As if you betted on that” I frown at Leila.

“I was setting myself a challenge” she moans.

Since the whole thing with Conor and I, I’ve got to admit, it has been weird. We agreed on being ‘just friends’ but the relationship we have is definitely forced. It’s hard to go from loving to someone to trying to just be friends with them but I’m just trying to convince myself it’s for the best. Him and I don’t work out so the best I can do is at least try and be friends with him seeing as I’m with him most days in his group and school.

I still go round to his house a lot to see Jack and obviously Conor’s there, but we usually just say a quick ‘hello’ and choose to stay out of each other’s way. It’s easier that way.

But I wouldn’t say things are awkward. No, I don’t find it weird to be around him. If he’s there, I’ll still talk to him whether it’s forced or not. We always find something to talk about and I’ve got to say, I miss him like crazy. But it’s understandable. I mean, I hate to admit it but I still love the boy. I’ve just learnt to control my feelings a bit more.

Now if we want to talk about awkward, let’s talk about Ben and I. I think I’ve looked at him for a total of 10 seconds since the night he accidentally pushed me down the stairs. We haven’t looked or even tried to talk to each other. Of course it bothers me but all this isn’t my fault.

Ben and Conor are still on rough terms as usual. Conor tells me he still hates Ben and Jack told me Ben still hates Conor. I gave up trying to get those two to talk to each other ages ago. I think their relationship ended the night I stayed at Ben’s house back in October or something. Wow, that was ages ago.

“Charlotte doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into. Having a party the day we leave school? Everyone’s gonna get messy” Alex chuckles, shaking his head.

“Don’t tell her that. She’ll cancel!” Liv gasps. I smirk, looking over at Charlotte who’s getting her shirt signed by Sam.

“We’ve gotta help her out if it gets out of control, guys” I responsibly step in, as usual.

“Yeah, we will” Alex nods. “I’m so pumped. We have no exams, no homework, no revision-“

“Alex, stop. I feel sick” Lois holds her head.

“Why do you feel sick?” Conor frowns.

“The excitement’s getting to me” she breathes. I burst out laughing with the rest of the group, holding my stomach in pain.

Revising since March has probably been the toughest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s so hard to concentrate on revision books, knowing that you could be doing... Well, anything other than revising. Anything’s better than revising. Our exams started on 13th May. Yeah, they were tricky but I’ve tried my hardest on them so I’m not going to worry about until the 20th August; the day after my birthday and 2 days before I get my results back. Yippee. 2 days is enough time to worry, I think.

I’m just glad we’ve got this party tonight at Charlotte’s. It’ll be a good way to finish the year.

“Lucy! Let me sign you!” Sam smiles widely, strolling over to me.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Conor and I may have failed to set Sam up with the girl in our year that he liked but we did something better! We actually came together and set him up with Lois. They’re a pretty cute couple to be honest. Well, I wouldn’t say ‘cute’. They’re good for each other though.

“If you can find a space. You might have to draw inside one of the many penis’s that Jack’s drawn on me” I sigh, handing him a pink pen.

“No! Draw around them. It’s all coming together now” Jack gasps.

“Alright, mate. Calm down” Sam smirks.

“It’s going to be so weird not seeing any of you in school” Jack groans. “I’m dreading it”

“Aw, babe. I’m still going to see you everyday” I frown, pulling my hair to one side whilst Sam starts writing on my back.

“Yeah but it’s only me, Mike and Ben now. Can’t be assed”

“School’s gonna be pretty boring with half of your group gone” Sam speaks up.

“What do you mean?” I raise an eyebrow.

“You lot always have something going around about you. There’ll be no more rumours for people to spread” he huffs.

“The best one was about Lucy moving in with us because she’s pregnant with Conor” Jack rolls his head back in laughter. Yeah, that actually went around about us. There’s plenty more where that came from.

“I still want to know who came up with that” I shake my head in amusement.

“I’d actually love that to happen. I’d be an uncle” he holds his heart, smiling proudly to himself.

“Don’t get your hopes up” I roll my eyes.

“Done” Sam smiles, passing me the pen back.

“It better not be a dirty note” I point my finger at him and give him a slight glare.

“Chill out, would you? I’m a decent guy” he holds his hands up in defence.

“Okay, okay” I smirk, walking back over to where the rest of the group are.

“Right, are we off?” Alex jumps up from his seat.

“I don’t want to leave!” Leila cries, holding onto him.

“At least stay until the actual day’s ended. We’ll leave together” Mike shrugs.

We eventually decide to stay for an extra hour until the rest of the school day’s finished. We’ve technically finished school now and can go whenever but we’re just sat talking on our part of the yard until Jack, Ben and Mike finish. To be honest, I don’t want to leave at all. I absolutely love this school.

The final bell of the day rings and the school begins to clear quickly. I stand on the yard with everyone and watch as they all leave, just thinking about this being the last time I can do this.

“Leila, calm down. We can come back whenever. And it’s not like we’re all going to stop being mates” Conor tries to comfort her. I laugh slightly, smiling at her in amusement.

“I know, it’s just all the memories” she wipes her cheeks, making her way towards the gate.

“Yeah, I’ll miss this hell hole” he shrugs. “But just think about the five years you’ve hated this place. Think about all the homework, coursework, exams, teachers... We’re away from it all and you’re leaving with all your mates”

He has a point, I’ll give him that.

“Yeah true” she nods.

“Now cheer up, you’ve got a party you need to be looking pretty for” he does a little dougie, making me chuckle slightly. He smirks at me before looking back at Leila.

God, that smirk.

“Okay, I can do this. I can always pick Jack up from school sometime, right?” she frowns and Conor starts laughing.

“If you insist”

“Alright, I think I’m good” she nods, making her way out of the school gate.

I expected to feel worse about leaving school but it’s not too bad. Conor’s advice to Leila’s made me think about this logically.

-

“It’s not even eight o’clock and there are about thirty people here” Charlotte panics. It’s 7:45pm and the party was only supposed to start at 8pm. I laugh as she paces around her living room in panic as random people from our year (I think) fill the house.

“Calm down. It’ll be a good party” I smile in amusement.

“I can’t calm down! My house is going to get trashed” she moans, slumping down onto the sofa. I chuckle, sitting down next to her.

“It’ll be fine. Any mess and we’ll all help you clean up” I gesture to the rest of the group stood with us who are eagerly nodding their heads. I’d doubt most of them will help to be honest. “And any trouble and we’ll sort them out”

“Hell yeah we will” Alex nods, tensing his muscles. I roll my eyes and turn to Charlotte.

“Okay, thanks guys. I appreciate it” she breathes.

“We’ll be security for the night” Jack smiles.

“Security shouldn’t be drinking then” I shrug, taking the beer can out of his hand.

“You can forget that” he scoffs, grabbing it back off me.

“Who’s ready to partaaay!?” Mike stumbles into the room, dancing around with a bottle of Vodka in his hand.

“It would be Mike that turns up off his head” Jack mutters. I start laughing and watch in amusement as he falls to the floor, hugging the bottle.

-

“Lois, are you alright?” I frown, sitting down next to my best friend who has tears streaming down her face.

“No” she shakes her head, sniffling.

I reckon half the reason she’s crying is down to how much alcohol she’s drank. Everyone’s getting pissed because it’s our last day of school but I’m being the good guy in all this. I decided to take one for the team and not get drunk tonight so I can make sure everyone’s alright. We do this a lot at the club because when we all get drunk, we usually can’t find a way home or something.

I’m not saying I won’t be drinking though! I’m such a scummy 15 year old. Nearly 16 actually! 19th August is coming up very soon... ish.

“What’s up?” I sigh.

“I was acting brave before but I can’t hide how I really feel” she pouts, staring off into the distance of the trashed living room. This party’s messier than I was expecting.

“Yeah? How do you feel?”

“I feel empty” she stutters. I frown in confusion and jump slightly when Conor comes and sits down at the other side of the sofa. I smile to myself slightly at the sight of him. Oh yeah, the feelings are still there.

“What’s up?” he frowns at me.

“She feels empty” I shrug.

“Oy, dickhead. What’s up?” he snaps.

“You know before when I was saying I was happy to leave school?” she breathes.

“Yeah” Conor and I say in sync, nodding slowly.

“I don’t want to leave” she shakes her head, bursting into tears again.

“Fucking hell” Conor rolls his head back in laughter. “You’re softer than I thought”

“Conor, don’t” I chuckle.

“Think about all the fuckers that you’ll be leaving behind. All those people you used to rant to me about. They’re all gone now” he shrugs, smirking in amusement as she cries on his chest.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve never like Bethany” she shivers, nodding towards the short, blonde haired girl in front of us.

“Why the fuck is she here?” Conor frowns in confusion. I don’t even know who she is. Shows how much attention I pay to people outside my friendship group.

“God knows” Lois shrugs, drying her face with the back of her hand.

“Are you good now?” I smirk.

“I’m better, yeah” she nods confidently. That didn’t take much.

“How about a game of ‘have you ever’?” Conor smirks, handing us both a cup from the table and filling it with some of his Vodka.

“I said I wouldn’t drink much” I frown.

“Well it depends on the questions” he shrugs. I smirk slightly as his smile grows, until Lois decides to ruin the moment.

“Guys, let’s play!” she squeals.

I knew I shouldn’t have played the damn game. My head is spinning, my eyes feel blurry and I can’t even sit up straight. I swear Conor was asking specific questions, knowing the answer from me, just so I can get drunk.

“No more now” I moan, holding onto Conor’s shoulder for support.

He rolls his head back in laughter, “Not my fault you’ve done all those things”

“You asked me them on purpose” I gasp.

“No I didn’t” he shrugs.

I frown, “I need some air”

I stand up from my place only to fall back down onto the sofa, almost squashing Lois.

“Woah, are you alright?” he looks at me in concern.

“I’m just dizzy” I huff. I also feel like I’m about to vomit but I’m sure I can hold that back. “Why isn’t Lois moving?” I frown as I see Lois slumped across the sofa with her eyes screwed shut and her mouth wide open.

“She’s just asleep. We’ll worry about her when she starts having a fit” he jokes.

“Conor, it’s not funny” I frown, looking at her in concern.

“Chill out, she knows her boundaries. She’s just asleep, alright?” he smirks, placing his hand on my thigh. My eyes shoot open as I look down at his hand then back up to him, smirking at me as usual.

“I need air” I breathe, managing to stand up in my place. Conor stands up in sync and grabs onto me, and it’s only then that I realise I was just about to fall over again.

“I think you better sit down” he frowns.

“Yeah, can I do it outside?” I almost pant. I’m so freaking hot in here.

“Sure” he shrugs, guiding me out of the room.

I need to play this cool. Conor and I are having alone time now and I’m drunk. These things don’t usually work out well. I need to push the fact that I’m drunk to the back of my mind and focus on not being awkward.

Yeah Lucy, like you can forget about the fact you’re drunk.

I sit out in Charlottes back garden on a deck chair whilst Conor sits on the small brick wall that blocks the patio off from the garden. This air feels heavenly.

“Is it Friday the thirteenth today?” I frown in confusion.

“No, it’s the fourteenth” he frowns, staring into the distance in deep thought. He does that a lot.

“Oh, have you had any bad luck yet?” I raise my eyebrows. He snaps out of his trance and stares at me in amusement.

“No” he chuckles. “I’ve left school and I’m getting drunk with you, what’s not to like?”

I chuckle, resting my head on the back of my chair and breathing in some more fresh air.

“It’s actually been one of the best days this year” he shrugs, staring back into the distance.

“Oh yeah, just because we’ve left school?” I smirk. “You know, Conor, you’ll be wishing you were still in school in another five years time”

“I really won’t” he shakes his head. “But that’s not the reason”

I frown in confusion, “You must’ve done something pretty exciting today to top off the rest of the days this year”

“Or my year’s just been shit” he shrugs.

“How come?”

“You know why” he frowns.

“Oh” my face drops when I realise what he’s talking about. His mood’s changed completely now. Well done, Lucy. “Well we did go skiing this year. That was pretty good”

He smiles slightly, “Yeah, I loved that”

“I still can’t believe we won that competition” I shake my head.

“Well, you have me to thank. My stunt was amazing”

“Oh shut up, Conor. I just felt a little dizzy that day from my fall” I lie.

“Don’t give me that bullshit” he rolls his eyes making me laugh. “I miss those times” he smiles slightly.

“What times?” I smile.

“Just the times we spent together” he shrugs. “Like when Jack and I would climb into your window. And when we went to London, and spent Christmas together. Even when we just stayed in all day doing absolutely nothing, it still managed to make me smile. I just miss it”

“Same” I mutter. Why is he saying all this? We agreed on being ‘just friends’ and I was kind of just getting used to the whole concept.

Who am I kidding? I don’t think I can ever stop loving this boy. We could not see each other for years and I could even be married with kids but as soon as he comes back, all my feelings for him will hit me in the face like a brick.

“Really? Doesn’t sound like it”

“I do” I nod truthfully. “I always have but I can’t change what happened”

“Yeah” he shrugs. “I know”

“It’s getting co-“

“I’m sorry” he interrupts me from finding an easy way out of this chat.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m kind of glad we’re having it but I’m way too drunk right now. There’s no way I can have a sensible conversation with him right now about what seems to be about our relationship.

“I know you can never forget what I’ve done and stuff but I just want you to know how sorry I am. I fucked up both our lives and I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am for it” he sighs, running his fingers through his hair.

“We’ve already spoke about this, Conor. We just decided to be friends” I shrug, trying to sound more confident about this than I actually am.

“Luce, as if we could ever just be-“

“You little fuckers!” Lois snaps, cutting Conor off mid-sentence and falling on the floor in the small space between us. I jump in shock and bend down quickly to help her up.

I force a chuckle, “What have we done now?”

Just act normal, Lucy. Forget about what we were just about to talk about. Just ignore it.

“You left me all on my own. Some fat guy farted in my face” she cries. She literally has tears falling down her cheeks right now.

“Just sit out here for a bit and cool down” I sigh, tucking my hair behind my ears and standing up with her to keep her balance. Conor sighs and stands up too. I feel his gaze on me but I force myself not to look at him.

“Sorry! Did I interrupt something?” she slurs, falling into my arms. Shit.

Conor’s face mirrors mine as he quickly pulls her off me and balances her on him before I fall over.

“Um, no don’t worry about it” I stutter.

“You know something?” she pauses for a while.

“What?” I break the seriously awkward silence. She’s literally just fallen to sleep. “Lois!” I snap.

“Oh shit” she shakes her head slightly. “You know something?”

“What?” I chuckle, glancing at Conor slightly to see him smirking down at her in amusement.

“I ship you two so hard. You both just- just need to g-get your act together and fuck already!” she bursts into uncontrollable giggles.

My eyes shoot open and Conor and I look at each other in sync. Oh my god, get me out of this conversation now.

“You’re pissed, Lois” Conor mutters.

“Shut up, Conor” she almost rolls her eyes, too drunk to do so. “You know the problem with you two? Lucy, you’re too stubborn to make the first move and Conor... You’re just a fuck up, constantly making mistakes. You both need to just calm the fuck down”

“She’s drunk” I say way too quickly to Conor. I am having strong words with Lois in the morning.

“I’m a fuck up?” Conor chuckles. How isn’t he angry at this? I’m embarrassed!

“Yes. Yeah. Yes you are, Maynard” she scoffs. “You need to be more like Jack”

“Haven’t heard that before” he shrugs.

“Listen to me a sec” she breathes, pulling herself up from Conor and balancing herself on the floor. “I’m sad, Lucy’s sad, you’re sad. Why don’t you just make life easier and get back together, hey? You two are my OTP and it ticks me off that you both want to get back together but are holding back for some sick reason. As if you two could be ‘just friends’. Fucking hell, you’re more delusional than I thought”

“She needs to go to bed” I smile slightly at Conor.

“Yeah, I agree” Conor thankfully agrees.

“Oh yeah, take me away because you know I’m right. Absolutely typical” she moans and we practically drag her through the house and upstairs to Charlotte’s room.

I jog in front of Conor and turn on the bedroom light, quickly opening the bed covers where Conor places her into bed and wraps the cover over her.

“Take off my shoes, would ya?” she mutters, half asleep. I roll my eyes and slide off her heels, placing them next to bed.

“Let’s go” Conor mumbles, turning out the light and strolling out of the room. I follow shortly behind and join him outside Charlotte’s room. “So, um. How you feeling?”

“What?”

“You were dizzy before” he shrugs awkwardly. God, this is so awkward. Wait till Lois is sober and I have enough strength to punch her.

“Oh, yeah I-I’m fine. I guess” I glance away from him.

“Good” he smirks. Oh my god, his smirk.

It’s only now I realise how small the space is between us and I’m slowly being backed up into the wall. He lightly places his hands on my waist and tilts his head to the right slightly, literally sending electricity through my body. I can’t even describe what my insides feel like now but I’m frozen on the outside. I can’t even move right now.

“Hey! I know we’re best mates but I thought I said no one’s allowed upstairs” Charlotte scares the hell out of both me and Conor as she slams the bathroom door shut, adjusting her short skirt. Conor quickly jumps back and looks at Charlotte in annoyance.

We were so close.

Did I want that to happen? Yes.

Should I? No.

Fuck it, I’ll just go with the flow. Well, Charlottes ruined the ‘flow’ now so there’s a fat chance we’ll get this chance again. Maybe it’s a sign.

It’s at this point where I realise that Conor and I are just staring at Charlotte with blank expressions on our faces and our mouths parted slightly in shock.

She moans, “Oh fine. Just go into my room and do what you gotta do. I’ll burn my sheets tomorrow”

“No!” I snap in sync with Conor and she stares at us in shock. “Um, Lois is asleep in there”

“Fucking hell, I knew she’d drink too much” she moans. “She ain’t staying, she can kip on the sofa”

“Yeah” I just nod, breaking the silence.

“What the hell is up with you two? You look like you’ve seen a ghost” she chuckles.

“No um, I just felt like I was going to be sick and Conor just came to check on me” I shrug, Conor nodding in agreement.

“Okay, that’s cute and everything but if you’re going to  be sick, please go to the toilet or do it in next door’s garden” she cringes. I chuckle slightly.

“No, I’m good” I force a smile.

“Well come downstairs then! I have shots down there with our names on them. They won’t drink themselves!” she smiles widely, grabbing my hand and practically pulling me downstairs.

“I think I saw Alex going out the back. I’ll stay with him” Conor clearly lies to get out of the awkward situation.

“Yeah okay” I smile slightly, kind of gutted but also kind of happy that he’s gone.

Everything is getting too awkward. I must’ve thought the word ‘awkward’ way too many times in my head in the past 10 minutes. Bring on these Vodka shots with Charlotte. I’m freaking ready.