Chapter 118

Conor’s POV

I glance at myself one last time in the bathroom mirror, sorting my hair out slightly and straightening out my leather jacket. I’ve decided that before I go out with Zac, Adrian and Leo, I’m going to sort things out with Jack. He’s my brother for fuck sake and we used to get on so well. I’ve just thrown all that away.

I’m hoping that he can come to terms with me and realise that Zac is my mate, but Jack’s my brother and I want to be okay with both of them. I don’t want to leave Zac for Jack but I also don’t want to leave Jack for Zac.

It’s all a fucking mess to be honest. Everyone’s thought the worst of Zac and have just turned against me. Fuck them all. The only person I actually want to sort things out with is Jack because I can’t bear to have another argument with him. We’ve had 14 so far and yes, I’ve been counting.

I jog downstairs when I hear Jack end the call with who I presume is either Lucy or Eleanor. I stroll into the living room and instantly see Jack tense at the sight of me. He fucking hates me.

“Hey” I smile more to myself seeing as he’s not looking at me.

“Aren’t you going out?” he frowns at the TV.

“Yeah but I want to talk to you first” I say, sitting down on the same sofa as him.

“I’m not interested” he sighs, his voice full of boredom.

“I just thought we could sort this out seeing as you’re my brother” I shrug, running my fingers through my hair, a habit that Lucy picked up on. I’m trying my hardest to not think about her and the mess I’ve made but everything I do fucking reminds me of her.

“Just because we’re brothers, doesn’t mean that we have to sort things out. I hate you, end of” he says monotonously. My face drops slightly. I’ve fucked things up so badly.

“Come on, you don’t hate me” I try to joke but he just ignores me. “Jack, you don’t hate me” I say more sternly.

“Okay” he simply says.

“Look, can we at least try to sort this out?” I huff.

“Go on then, give me the best you’ve got” he turns off the TV and faces me. I didn’t realise he’d give in that easily...

“Well, um, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done” I try to start off the ‘chat’. He took me by surprise when he said that he actually wants to talk to me, so now I don’t really know what to say.

“Is that it?” he frowns.

“No. Look, I’ll just cut straight to the point. I want us to be okay but I still want to hang around with Zac so can you just accept that?” I say, sounding harsher than I actually am.

“Are you fucking joking? Let me remind you what that asshole has done” he raises his voice slightly. “He fucked you up last year and split up the whole family. He made you take his side when me and him had a fight. You started smoking, drinking every night and all this shit. He lead you into losing your virginity to a girl you don’t even know. You nearly got expelled from school-“

“He didn’t make me do any of that shit” I interrupt him before I lash out. He’s taking things too far now.

“Yes he did, Conor. And this is why I hate you so much. You take his side over anyone’s and don’t even believe that he’s fucking up your life, even when you can see it going downhill yourself” he shakes his head at me in disappointment and disgust.

“You’re only blaming him because you don’t like him” I roll my eyes.

“Okay, let me explain what he’s done so far. Not that it’s going to make you understand that all this is his fault” he shrugs. “He fucked up your relationship with Lucy. He’s made me and you like this. He’s got you into smoking again-“

“How do you know?” I frown. I feel slightly embarrassed that he knows I smoke. I feel like I’m setting a bad influence but I’m sure he knows not to follow my lead on anything.

“You fucking stink of smoke” he cringes. I’m tempted to smell my jacket but I think that’s a bit inappropriate right now. “I bet you still love Lucy, don’t you?” he shoots the question at me, his words taking me by complete shock. Of course I fucking do but I don’t want to admit that to him.

“No” I mutter.

“Conor, be honest with me” he frowns. “Do you still love her?”

I sigh, “I can’t imagine the day I won’t”

As cliché as it sound, it’s so true. I’ll love that girl till the day I die. I can’t even give a decent reason of why I split up with her. The only reason why we weren’t working was because I was being a complete asshole with her.

I snap out of my thoughts and look at Jack who’s staring at me in what I think is sympathy.

“You know how upset she is about all this?” he lowers his voice and I nod slightly.

I can imagine how upset she is but that’s another thing I’ve been choosing not to think about. Anything that involves her, I try to push it to the back of my mind. That’s the only way I’ve managed 37 days without crying in front of anyone.

“She’s fucking heartbroken. She’s coming over now just so I can take her mind off things” he frowns, ashamed of what I’ve done.

“There’s no need to make me feel guilty about it” I frown slightly. I already feel guilty about this whole thing but he’s just making me feel worse.

“Yes there is, Conor. I’m trying to make you realise how much you’ve fucked up because of Zac”

“Fucking hell, stop blaming everything on Zac” I snap.

“You’re defending him again! You know he’s fucked up your life again and you’re still defending him!” he raises his voice, sounding shocked.

I do know it’s because of Zac, I’d just never admit that. I don’t think Zac’s done anything wrong. Nobody just wants to give him a second chance, so they hate me for doing it.

“He hasn’t fucked up my life!” I almost shout in anger, standing up from my place on the sofa. This ‘chat’ isn’t working at all.

We both turn our heads to the front door when we hear it being knocked on.

“Oh well done! Now Lucy’s here, you dickhead!” he stands up next to me.

“Don’t worry, I’m going” I ball my fists together, storming towards the front door and swinging it open to see Lucy stood there in shock. I quickly look away and stride past her, bumping into her shoulder slightly and making my way to the park to meet the lads. I need to try and stay away from her at all times if I’m trying to keep up this ‘I don’t care’ act.

I’m fucking fuming at Jack. I actually sat down and was willing to sort things out with him and he just threw it all back in my face. That’s the last time I’m ever even making effort with him. He’s such a dickhead.

Lucy’s POV

Half an hour flies past and before I know it, I’m stood outside Jack’s house in my joggers and an oversized top. I look ridiculous.

I knock three times on the door and wait for Jack to swing open the door, but instead, I hear shouting. If Conor’s still in there I’m going-

Conor swings open the door, glances down at me for a split second, and storms off down the road.

“What the hell?” I mutter to myself, looking inside the house to see Jack walking over to me. “What just happened?” I ask, strolling into his house and shutting the door behind me.

“Another argument, woo!” he cheers sarcastically.

I moan, “What about this time?”

He leads me into the living room and I sit down on the sofa next to me.

“He was trying to sort things out with me but it turned into an argument” he frowns.

“And I bet it was because you were being stubborn” I tease making him roll his eyes.

“You can’t expect me to forgive him straight away after everything he’s done, Lucy” he sighs.

“Yeah, I know” I nod. I’m glad he’s standing his ground with Conor but I’m also happy that Conor’s trying to sort things out with Jack. Well, I’d doubt he’s going to try and sort things out with him now but all good things come to an end, right? “I still think you should talk to him” I admit, shrugging.

“What the hell? No way! I’m not talking to him about anything but a restraining order” he scoffs.

“He’s your brother!” I laugh at his comeback.

“So? Doesn’t mean we have to be mates. He’ll be moving out soon anyway” he shrugs and I frown in confusion.

“Jack, he’s sixteen”

“With any luck, we’ll only be waiting two years” he smiles widely.

I roll my eyes, “You don’t mean that”

“Don’t I?” he frowns. I just sigh and pull out my phone to check if Eleanor’s replied to my last text.

“Wow, you know you’re close when you automatically connect to each other’s Wi-Fi” I say when I realise I’m already connected to Jack’s internet. He rolls his head back in laughter, checking my phone in the process to see if I’m lying.

“Fucking hell” he breathes when we finally stop laughing at something so simple. We’re easily entertained.