Chapter 110

We get to Mike’s house at half past seven and it seems like all the boys are already here.

“Hey guys!” Lois strolls through the living room which Mike has just lead us to.

“Hey” everyone replies. I glance over at Conor who’s not even making eye contact with me right now. He’s sat on the single sofa whilst everyone else shares the three-seater. We go round giving people hugs and when I get to Conor and he’s not even making eye contact with me, I just move to sit on the final sofa with Lois and Leila. Liv and Char just sit on the floor, unbothered by their position.

“Oh god, what’s happened now?” Alex raises his eyebrow at me, referring to mine and Conor’s behaviour. I just look away trying to avoid any awkwardness but with everyone’s eyes in the room on Conor and I, my ‘no eye contact to avoid awkwardness’ scheme doesn’t exactly work.

“What do you mean?” I sigh, knowing exactly what he means but praying for Conor to say something. I should apologise for the way I acted but I’m so pissed off that he didn’t even tell me about his and my Dad’s chat.

“You two haven’t even looked at each other. Are we missing something?” he frowns, smirking slightly. I decide to be the bigger person, as usual, and admit to what’s gone on.

“We’ve just-“

“We had a small argument but we’re okay now, right Luce?” Conor interrupts me and I just shake my head, rolling my eyes slightly.

“You sure?” Mike asks.

I just sigh, “Yeah”

“Well make a bit of space and go sit on your boyfriends lap” Liv complains, pushing me off the sofa and taking my place, letting Charlotte sit on her lap. I groan and stomp over to Conor’s single seat. He looks pretty pissed off but I know he’s not going to complain about me sitting with him.

I stand in front of him, waiting for him to tell me where to sit. He has a beer bottle in his hand so it makes it awkward to even think about positioning myself next to him. He sighs and puts the beer bottle on the floor.

“Come here then” he says seriously, no sarcasm in his voice.

I mentally moan before sitting on his lap and letting my legs fall over the arm of the chair. He rests his arm on my lap and wraps his other arm around my waist slightly, pulling me closer towards him. I rest my head on his shoulder receiving a chorus of ‘aww’s from the group. I roll my eyes and sit up slightly from him.

I have never been in a more awkward situation in my life. Having to act ‘normal’ around everyone whilst sitting so uncomfortably on Conor’s lap. We’ve sat like this many times before but it’s never ever this uncomfortable. There’s literally no connection and it’s scaring me. We haven’t even spoken to each other.

All we’re doing is listening to everyone’s gossip. We spoke a little bit about Sweden before and my accident but they’ve heard about it a lot before today so there’s not too much to say.

I need to talk to Conor. He’s my boyfriend and it should never be this awkward between us, no matter what the argument is. It was literally such a stupid thing to argue about. I guess it was my fault for reacting the way I did but I can’t help but feel like Conor’s to blame for not telling me. I should have the right to know about these things, right?

“Who wants another drink?” I hear Mike ask. A chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘no’s are heard around the living room and after Mike counts the people wanting a drink, he starts to walk out of the room.

“Mike, I’ll help!” I jump off Conor’s lap as quickly as possible and scurry over to Mike.

“Lucy, it’s fine. I’m sure I can hold five cans of beer” he chuckles. I shoot him a glare.

“No, you won’t. Trust me” I smile awkwardly and he frowns before shrugging and walking out of the room. I follow after him, refusing to turn around and look at the probably confused group. We get to the kitchen and Mike shuts the door behind us.

“Okay, what’s going on between you and Conor?” he raises and eyebrow, walking over to the fridge. I’m guessing his parents are out seeing as I haven’t heard a peep from them all night. Mike clearly sees how awkward things are between us so I’m guessing the rest of the group do too.

“We’ve just had an argument” I huff, leaning on the kitchen counter.

“It must be serious. I’ve never seen you two so awkward around each other in my whole five months of knowing you” he counts his fingers, nodding to confirm it. “Woah, that seems like nothing. I feel like I’ve known you forever” he gets off topic and I laugh at how random this is.

That’s one thing I love about Mike. He knows how to find the funny side of a situation even if it’s completely off topic about something really serious. This argument isn’t serious but he’s still trying to make my happy by being so random, whether it’s accidental or on purpose. He never takes himself seriously.

“Sorry, getting a bit off topic” he laughs awkwardly. “So what’s happened?”

“Basically, in Sweden my Dad had a conversation with Conor behind my back and Conor didn’t tell me about it and it’s just been blown way out of proportion. I found out yesterday and had a go” I sigh.

“Lucy, how many times have I told you to try and think about Conor’s situation before you mess things up?” he moans.

He’s right. Whenever Conor and I argue he always gives me advice on it and the main thing he tells me is to think about Conor’s situation first if I’m going to ‘have a go’ at him.

“I know but I was just so mad. How would you feel if your Dad and your boyfriend- well, girlfriend in this matter – had kept a conversation from you?”

He shrugs, “Depends what it’s about”

“Your sex life” I raise an eyebrow and his eyes shoot open.

“I’d be pretty pissed” he frowns. “But then you have to think about what Conor was thinking. He obviously didn’t want to keep it from you but just thought it was for the best”

“Yeah, I guess” I shrug. “I just feel like our relationship isn’t working”

As soon as I say that, Conor strolls into the room and sits on the kitchen surface next to me. I shuffle away from him slightly and give Mike a mental cry for help.

“What you talking about?” he smiles widely, just to piss us off. I roll my eyes and look away. “I just find it funny how you shut up as soon as I walk in”

“Well this conversation doesn’t have anything to do with you” I speak up, not making eye contact with him.

“More lies, Lucy” he chuckles. I just sigh. “Oh, Mike. Everyone’s waiting for their drinks” Conor indicates for Mike to leave.

“Oh yeah” he nods, grabbing five cans from the fridge and leaving the room.

“I’m going too” I mutter, beginning to walk away before Conor jumps off the counter and grabs my arm, spinning me around slightly.

“No you’re not” he snaps.

“Don’t fucking touch me like that” I yank my arm away in pain. “Why do you want me to stay?” I hint at him to talk about this whole mess. He’s slightly drunk so I’m hoping he’s softer than he usually is but so far, he’s just been evil.

“I just wanted to get you away from Mike. Your conversation was getting a bit too heated in here for my liking” he shrugs, trailing his eyes around the small kitchen.

“You were listening” I almost gasp.

“I heard my fair share” he shrugs again. He wonders over to Mike’s fridge and pulls out a can of beer, popping it open and gulping what looks like half of it down his neck.

“Why are you so mad at me?” I sigh, watching him pace around the room.

“I’m not” he shrugs. “I just think we need to back off seeing as your parents don’t approve of what we do”

“So, a break?” I frown and he shrugs.

“I guess”

“Well does your Mum know about what we do?” I ask. I don’t understand why he wants a ‘break’ over this. My Mum and Dad are fine about the situation now I guess and Conor and I are usually on track of things after a little argument.

“She’s known about it since I was fourteen” he shrugs and my teeth clench together in anger. He doesn’t even realise what he’s said.

“Well at least my Mum cares about what I do” I snap, only realising how harsh what I just said was. Conor’s head snaps up to finally look me directly in the eyes.

“What, and my Mum doesn’t?” he raises his voice, taking a step towards me.

“I didn’t mean-“

“No you’re right. My family don’t give a shit about me” he forces the words out of his mouth. He knows his family loves him.

“You know you’re wrong” I mutter.

“Just fuck off, Lucy” he moans, storming out of the room. I groan, following after him, into the living room. When I get there, I see him sat back in his seat with the beer bottle back in his hand. He has a stern look on his face and is just glaring at the floor. Everyone realises I’m standing at the door and just stares at me.

“This is awkward” I hear Liv mutter. I turn to Mike who gives me a sympathetic look.

“Are you okay?” he mimes and I nod before sitting on the arm of the sofa he’s on.

The rest of the night is just horrible. Everyone’s having a laugh but Conor and I are just sat out watching the fun rather than actually joining in. I feel like I’m ruining the night but I’m literally not in the mood for anything and everyone seems to be having a good time anyway. I just want to go home. I’ve been looking forward to this all week but now I couldn’t think of anything better than going home. I’m fuming.

Conor’s just ruined my mood completely. If it was any other argument, we would’ve sorted it out as soon as this ‘party’ started but the fact that he still hates me and only glances at me every now and then is scaring me.

“What’s going on?” Ben snaps me out of my thoughts, sitting next to me on the sofa. Conor glares at me before looking away. If this doesn’t get his attention then I don’t know what will.

“It doesn’t matter” I sigh, shaking my head. I can’t be bothered explaining this, especially to Ben. I kind of feel like he likes it when Conor and I have arguments.

“Well, I’m always here to talk” he smiles and I just nod.

“You weren’t talking to me all week” I frown. This is probably the first time we’ve properly spoke since that day he came over when Eleanor left.

He sighs, “Yeah, it’s just a bit awkward with Conor and everything. I don’t know how to act”

“Which is why I invited you round last week” I look away awkwardly.

“You can’t help it if something’s awkward, Lucy. It just is” he mutters and I nod understandingly, knowing my temper’s rising and I need to calm down.

“Well why are you talking to me now then?” I ask out of curiosity, and not in some bitchy way like I usually do.

“You seem upset. I don’t want to have fun knowing you’re miserable” he chuckles and I just sigh.

“You can’t help it if you’re miserable. You just are” I mimic him, teasingly. He rolls his head back in laughter.

“But you can help it! You’ve got to think positive” he smirks.

“For example...”

“Flowers” he kicks it off.

“Okay” I chuckle. “How about sweets?”

“Yeah that could work. Rainbows” he shrugs and I nod. “How about a bit of alcohol?” he holds out his beer bottle to me.

“She’s not allowed to drink” Conor snaps and I only just realise that he’s moved onto the same sofa as Ben and I. I’m just thankful I’m in the middle of them because the way Ben and I were just acting together is not something Conor would be pleased about.

“She can speak for herself” Ben frowns, clenching his jaw together.

“I know she can, and I’m telling you that she’s not fucking drinking. Yes?” he raises his voice. I don’t know how Conor knows that I’m not allowed to drink. Jack must’ve told him or something.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that, you control freak”

“Or what? What the fuck is Ben going to do about it?” Conor almost laughs.

“Oh my god, stop” I snap at the two of them.

“Lucy, we’re going” Conor grabs my hand and attempts to pull me out of my seat when he’s stood up.

“I’m not a fucking dog. I’ll go when I want to go” I pull away from him. “The girls are staying at mine tonight anyway. I already told you” I frown.

“Oh yeah” he nods. “You can stay at mine instead. They can sleep at Lois’s or something”

“What the fuck? No. I’m not just going to change my plans with them just because you said so. You’ve been nasty to me all night” I raise my voice and he looks taken aback.

“Just calm down” he tries to relax me by putting his hand on my lap. I ignore his gesture and look at Ben.

“Should I go?” he asks me.

“Yes” Conor snaps. Ben just rolls his eyes and walks away. I’m kind of glad he’s left Conor and I alone but I’m dreading what Conor’s going to say to me now.

“Why are you being like this?” I sigh, turning to him.

“I’m not being like anything” he frowns.

“Yes you are. We would’ve sorted things out by now but you haven’t texted me or tried to have a conversation with me at all today”

“You’re making things awkward! And what’s there to talk about anyway?” he scoffs.

“Since when have things been awkward between us?” I frown and he smirks slightly. “We need to talk about this argument before things get more serious than what they are”

“Okay, talk to me” he shrugs, looking in a different direction. I’m thankful that everybody’s left us to our conversation and are just talking amongst themselves.

“Look, I know I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did but I’m obviously not going to take it easy. I just found out that you and my Dad have had a private conversation about our sex life for fuck sake” I breathe.

“I did it for your own fucking good” he snaps.

“Are you really going to drag this argument out?”

“I’m not dragging it out. I’m making a fucking point. It’s about time you stop stressing at everyone every time you don’t get your own fucking way” he raises his voice, attracting all the attention to us. I look around the room and just freeze in embarrassment and shock at what Conor’s just said.

“You don’t need to shout” I mutter, trying to not ruin everybody’s night and trying to relax Conor as much as possible so this argument doesn’t blow out way more than it already has done. I feel like our relationship is at risk here but part of me’s just saying it’s only because Conor’s drunk.

“Like I said, I’m making a fucking point” he keeps his voice in the same tone.

“I’m not arguing with you if all you’re going to do is shout at me. What’s the point?” I shrug, turning away from him. He seriously needs to calm down and stop taking this whole thing so seriously.

“You’re the one that wanted to sort this shit out”

“So you don’t want to sort it out? You want to keep arguing constantly” I frown in confusion. I thought we could at least agree that we want to sort this out.

“I don’t give a fuck. It’ll stop one way or another” he lowers his voice.

“What do you mean by that?” I continue to frown. I can feel everyone’s eyes on us right now but I’m so deep into this conversation that I don’t even care. I’m worried with what Conor’s about to say next.

“Well we either split up or you just eventually get the fuck over yourself” he snaps and my eyes grow the size of golf balls. I hear a few gasps and mutters around the room and I find myself unable to speak.

“Conor, what the fuck? That’s unnecessary” Lois speaks up. Tears are filling my eyes up making my vision go blurry. I blink back a few and look down at my bracelet.

“Who asked you to talk? Keep the fuck out of it” he shouts at her.

“How much have you had to drink?” Jack frowns and Conor just rolls his eyes.

“Conor, if you’re being like this, just go. I’m not having you shouting at everyone” Mike tries to say in the nicest way possible.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go” I stand up from my seat. I couldn’t think of anything better than to get out of this house.

“Lucy, don’t” Liv sighs. If I go, that means the girls will have to go which would ruin the night. I can’t just leave now.

“Fuck it, I’m off” Conor shoots up out of his seat and storms out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

“I’m so sorry” I apologise to everyone.

“Don’t blame yourself, Lucy. Conor overreacts” Charlotte tries to make me feel better. I just nod.

“What’s happened between you two?” Leila frowns. They deserve the right to know. They are my best friends.

“Basically, my Dad spoke to Conor about ‘keeping safe’ with me and stuff and Conor didn’t tell me so we had an argument and now he’s not speaking to me” I breathe. “The argument was literally thirty seconds and he’s just blown it way out of proportion”

“You know what Conor’s like. He’ll come back around” Lois assures me and I just smile slightly.

“Yeah but he’s been with that Zac recently. You can tell he’s changing” Alex shrugs and my face drops.

“What?” Leila gasps, saying what the whole room is thinking.

“What? Didn’t he tell you all?” Alex frowns in confusion. “Conor’s been meeting up with him all week”

“What the fuck?” Lois snaps.

“I thought you knew” he says, a worried look written all over his face.

I cough, “He told me that he’s been speaking to him and he’d probably meet him but he didn’t tell me that he’s actually done it”

“I don’t believe it” Leila whispers.

“It makes sense. Why do you think he’s been such a dick all week? I mean, no offence Lucy but he has been treating you like shit” Lois says it how it is. I nod in agreement. He has been on and off with me all week but I just let it go.

“Yeah” I simply say.

“I can’t fucking believe it. I hate him” Jack grinds his teeth together. “Fuck sake. I didn’t think he was that fucking stupid”

Everyone stays silent, knowing not to push Jack. He can be as bad as Conor when he’s angry and it’s understandable that he’s mad at his brother for meeting up with what sounds like the devil himself.

“Lucy, how long have you known?” he asks me.

“Um” I think back. “He told me on the first day back at school when we was late that time”

Leila sniggers slightly at what I assume is about what happened in the English lesson. She found it hilarious. I smirk slightly before returning my attention back to Jack who looks like he’s about to hit me in the face.

“And you didn’t think to fucking tell me!?” he shouts and my face drops yet again. “Do you know how much shit Zac’s put me through? Do you fucking know how much shit Conor’s going to get into now and how much he’s going to fucking destroy you? If you think you and Conor are staying together now that he’s meeting Zac you’re fucking dreaming big”

“Jack, calm the fuck down!” Mike gasps, coming over to me and wrapping his arm around me. I could cry right now at what Jack’s just said. I didn’t think Zac was this bad but by the sound of it, he’s worse.

“That’s uncalled for” Liv shakes her head at him.

“Everyone knows I’m fucking right so I don’t understand why you’re building her hopes up. You and Conor are fucking done” he shouts at me and I just cry on Mike’s chest. His words cut through me like knives. ‘You and Conor are fucking done’. He seems so sure about it.

“Shut the fuck up now or you’re going” Mike raises his voice and I hear Jack sigh.

“Alex you’re a fucking dickhead” Jack mutters, trying to control his temper. I lift my head up off Mike’s chest and look over at Alex who just has his head in his hands.

“I assumed you all knew” Alex mumbles.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done something if I fucking knew!?” Jack raises his voice again. “Who the fuck wouldn’t have done something? Why didn’t you do anything Alex? You fucking twat”

“Jack, shut the fuck up!” Lois snaps. “Look what you’re doing to everyone!”

I look around the room and see everyone staring at Jack like he’s literally just killed someone. They look at him in disgust and fear. Alex looks like he’s going to pounce on Jack any second but I know they’re too close to do that.

“You don’t know what he’s fucking put me through and the fact that Alex and Lucy have decided to just sit back and fucking watch this shit happen is stupid”

“We do know everything he’s done and I’m sure we all understand how you’re feeling but speaking to people the way you’re doing right now, especially to your best friends, is fucking unnecessary. Just calm down” she says as calmly as possible. I look over at Jack and see he’s just sat back in his seat, biting his nails.

“I didn’t think he’d actually go back to that shit” Jack mutters.

“None of us did but it’s happened now so all we can do is try and stop it from happening” she shrugs, slumping in her seat. I wipe away my tears and sit up from Mike. He rubs my back slightly before following the crowd and sitting back in his seat. I follow after, and eventually, the whole group’s just sat in silence, slumped back in their seats.

“I’m sorry everyone. I feel like this is my fault” I sigh, breaking the silence.

“Don’t be daft. Although it’s happened this way, I’m glad we’ve found out. Don’t blame yourself” Leila nods at me, smiling slightly. Everyone mumbles in agreement and I just smile slightly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too for shouting at everyone. I know it was unnecessary” Jack mutters and everyone stays silent. “Alex, I was just angry. I’m sorry mate. I know you’re not to blame for Conor’s fucking awful decisions”

“Na, it’s fine. It was stupid of me not to tell you all” Alex shrugs and I smile slightly.

“Lucy” Jack moans, standing up from his seat and walking over to me. He finds a space on the sofa next to me and pulls me in for a giant hug. “I’m so so sorry” he whispers.

“It’s fine” I nod, tears rolling down my cheeks again. I quickly wipe them away when he pulls away from me. He cups my face and looks me directly in the eyes.

“I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way and I feel awful for it. I know that saying sorry can’t fix half the things I said and if I could take everything back, I honestly would. I didn’t mean any of it and I’m so sorry” he says so only I and I guess Mike can hear seeing as he’s sat right next to me.

“No, I get it. It’s okay” I nod, assuring him. I take his apology but I know that everything he said is true. I don’t think there’s a way that Conor and I are going to stay together. The argument between me and him has gone too far as it is without Zac in the situation. I’m just praying we can string this together somehow. I love him after all.

“I love you” he whispers, pulling me in for another hug.

“I love you too” I sigh, wrapping my arms around his waist.