Chapter 30

Today was the day. I woke up less happy than I had ever been in the morning and I walked over to the window in James and mines bedroom. I opened the curtain and saw the sun rising above the horizon. The sky looked extra orange today, and I felt odd looking at it like it was looking back at me. I sighed and soon felt hands run down my arms and encasing me in a safe bliss.

"You okay babe?" James asked in my ear. I nodded and leaned into his chest.

"I'm okay for right now." I told James.

"I will go wake up John." James said kissing my cheek.

"You sure?" I asked as James let go of me and I turned to watch him. He nodded opening the door and walking into our hotel room. I grabbed my suitcase and scavenged for something funeral appropriate. I brought out a knee length black dress, with the leggings I wore yesterday, black knee height boots, and a black cardigan. I showered first of us all and changed into my outfit. Then I put on dark eyeshadow, and a dark maroon lip color. I blew my hair dry and curled it into a side bun. John came out of his room before James was finished in ours. John had on an actual tux, a black suit and a white shirt. I smiled as he had either end of the ties in his hands. I made a face.

"You'll have to wait for James for that one." I said as he nodded and sat quietly on the couch. I put down my lip stick and walked over to him.

"Hey." I said as he and I sat awkwardly.

"Hi." He said sitting quietly. His dark hair was a shaggy length and he looked like any other teen aged boy in a tux, a little uncomfortable.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I can see your tattoo." He said quietly making me laugh quietly. I looked down and sure enough my collar bone was revealed in this dress.

"Anything else?" I asked him. He shrugged again.

"Did he suffer?" John asked quietly. I shook my head as my eyes were blurred a little.

"No. He didn't." I told him. He nodded.

"Do you think he's in Heaven?" John asked looking at the ceiling. I nodded.

"I can almost guarantee he is." I whispered taking John's hand in mine. James opened the door and was in a dark charcoal suit and his hair shaggy as well. He however started to put product in it as he noticed me looking. He smiled sadly.

"Do you need some help there buddy?" James asked John. John nodded and stood up walking over to James. James explained how to tie a tie by showing John on himself first and then told John to try tying his own tie. He couldn't do it. "That's okay. You'll have plenty of time to practice that." James smiled tying John's tie for him.

"Thanks, James." John said sounding very sad.

"You alright, John?" James asked genuinely concerned. I then stood and walked into the bathroom Incase John had something he just needed to tell a male. And from the sound of it, he and James were talking. I stood in the bathroom awkwardly and looked at the mirror in there. I looked like someone going to a funeral, but I wasn't sure I should have been this depressing looking. I put up a good front in front of John, but when it was going to come down to it, I would be crying in James's arms later.

I opened the bathroom door to a scene I wish I hadn't seen for my makeup's sake. John was desperately crying in James's arms. James was holding him how I imagined he held me all the time, endearing and genuine. I let the tears fall as James looked at me from the corner of his eye and gave me a truly broken half smile before closing his eyes and shushing John. I walked back into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. My eyes started to water worse than ever and I cried hysterically. We had lost a part of us, although my father and I hadn't spoken in five years, the last two days of his life were his best. I felt so upset that John didn't get to have a proper goodbye with him. I clutched my chest and felt so upset I couldn't control it. I tried catching my breath but it only was causing more tears. After a few minutes, I calmed down and stood looking at the mirror. My makeup was decent for just balling my eyes out. I wiped away the tears, blew my nose, and then was calmed down enough to walk into the other room. John was sniffing as James had a hand on his shoulder speaking quietly to him.

"We're going to try, okay? Later today after the service." James whispered and then looked at me and stood up straight. "Elizabeth, we need to do it today." James said giving me a warning look. I didn't question him, I knew I needed to seek out helping John today, no matter what. I nodded and we were off after that. We drove to the cemetery and saw where we had picked out a plot for our dad to lay for all eternity. James took my hand and I took his and then took John's. We three walked down the isle of graves to the tent where chairs were set up. People were gathered, some I recognized from my dad's work or his friends and then my mom and Mike were in the front. My mother dared to wear all purple.

"Purple? Really mother?" I asked as John and James took a seat already. She stood in stilettos with her dresses hem almost close enough to be called a long shirt. Her hair was straightened and her makeup was trampy at best for her age. She looked almost happy. I glared at her as she removed her sunglasses.

"Nice see you this morning too. How are you, Liz?" She asked me annoyed. I rolled my eyes. Mike then looked like a predator in his black suit jacket and blue jeans.

"How you holding up, honey?" Mike asked me. I smiled.

"James has helped me so much this morning. Thanks for asking." I said then glaring at him and taking a seat before I did anything else.

"Mike is still as creepy as ever." I whispered to John and James as I sat between them. James shifted nervously as I said that. "What's wrong?" I asked him. He pulled me close and had his lips close to my ear.

"Mike, isn't a nice guy. John freaked this morning because he's worried about life if we don't get to bring him back, he didn't freak because of the funeral." James whispered to me. I closed my eyes.

"Like what?" I mouthed and James put his lips to my ear.

"Nothing that you're thinking. But Mike has said a few rude things to John before and pushed him a few times. That's all John told me. I said we would try today. So he doesn't have to go home to that." James whispered. I took a shaky breath and looked up at where my mother and Mike stood. Mike was watching James and me.

"Son of a bitch." I said under my breath crossing my legs and feeling like I was going into momma bear mode.

"Everyone!" A pastor said coming out with a Bible in hand. My mom sat to John's right and then Mike on the end. The pastor read passages for a good hour and we all prayed. "Now, a word from Mr. Allen's children, Johnathan and Elizabeth Allen." The pastor said gesturing for us to stand up. I had written my speech last night and I persuaded John to write one too, but I hadn't the slightest idea if he did or not. I stood and John followed me.

"Thank you all for coming today. You may remember us." I nodded to the crowd of people. "I would just like to start out and talk about the good my father did for us, his children. Growing up was hard enough, but when you have a father to kiss your scraped knees, your upset tummy, or broken heart, it seems to be a little easier. I hadn't spoken to my father for five years before he passed. I did however come back just in time to learn the true him. I got to know him on a personal level rather a father-daughter level. I found that he was an honorable man. He loved those he loved and did anything for them. He made me realize life is short." I paused and looked at James. "He made me realize if you love someone, you should tell them, everyday, because you'll never know when they're gone." I said starting to cry as John's hand rested on my back. "You should always do what you want because life is crazy short. He asked me the day of his passing if I was going to be in good hands. At the time I said of course, I have an amazing boyfriend who means the world to me. But little did I know that I was going to grow so close to my brother again. Now I know, that he knew I was going to reconnect with my little brother, and he knew I'd be in the best hands in the world with John and James by my sides." I said choking up a little more. I took a deep breath. "Sorry, uh, anyway, enough about me. I loved my father as I'm sure some of you did. He was one of the sweetest and more honest souls on this Earth." I said taking a white rose out of the bundle on top of my father's casket. James wiped his eyes as I glanced back at him. John then spoke up.

"Thank you Elizabeth." John said as I smiled crying still. "As my sister said, in this untimely passing, we did grow close again. I feel like dad did that for us. I feel as if he wanted us to take care of each other from then on because he wouldn't be there for us physically anymore." John said glancing at me. He spoke so calmly and intelligently. "Although many of you knew him, some of you didn't get the blessing of meeting him when he was sick and in the hospital such as us. Our father was more kind in his numbered days than he had ever been our entire childhood, but I assume when you're sure you're going to pass away, you feel as if you have to be gentle and let people in. As my sister said, our father was honorable and honest, and I pray every evening that one day my sister and James can help me become half the man my father was because then, and only then will I feel like I succeeded in life." John said making me shed more tears. I glanced back at the audience to see my mother looking amused at what we said while Mike stared at me like I was prey and he was a hungry lion. I looked at James and he seemed to be very bothered with the face Mike was making and kept glancing at him. John finished with his favorite Bible verse which impressed me substantially.

Then, John took a white rose as well as they lowered our father in the grave and we went back to our seats. The pastor said one last passage and then that's when John and myself were tackled with people offering their condolences. We probably shook about fifty people's hands and got seventy hugs. Eventually, we three walked back down the graves and to my car.

"Are we ready to do this?" I asked once I saw Mike and my mom get into her car and pulled out of the cemetery.

"I'm ready." James said taking my hand in his. John touched my shoulder.

"I've been ready." He told me.