CH 49: Purpose

"I can't guarantee that I'll be willing to be here when you're ready..."

Esme returns to her room with a deep sense of guilt from allowing those words to come from her mouth, but she knows there is truth within them. She had waited so many years to find her love, and now he was being insanely difficult. Did he actually expect her to continue to swoon over him and wait diligently until he was good and ready to be open and honest with her? She knew that Alastor had always prioritized his ego, but damn, his pride must have been amplified the moment he entered this ring.

Esme didn't know what to expect from him, but she did know one thing - she needed to get to the water. She needed to release her mind and disconnect for a moment, and she always went to the water to just that. She unwraps her towel and gets changed into her green dress, making sure to put on her coat in an attempt to hide the stamp of ownership on her collarbone. She wraps her hair in a ponytail and begins to walk out her door. She sees Angel about to walk down the stairs and he turns to her,

"Hey Es, where you off to?"

"The shore, why? Do you want to come?"

He appears troubled, as if something is on his mind. He takes a moment before answering, "Yeah, why not? I could use the walk."

Esme doesn't question this, but instead holds her hand out and joins it with his. The two make their way out of the hotel and down to the shore.

As they're walking, Esme notices that Angel doesn't appear to be his usual talkative self. He has changed drastically from that night in his bedroom where the two stayed up for hours yapping about senseless nonsense. She turns to him, "What's eatin' you?"

"Huh? Me? Nuthin'..." He responds with a huff, looking away.

Great, another person who's lying to me...

As they approach the water, Esme takes off her coat and dives into her sanctuary. She sighs contently as she swims down, feeling her body slowly transforming into her siren self.

𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓱𝓲𝓶, 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽... It whispers, 𝓦𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓵, 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼.

What if I don't want that? She thinks.

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓻𝓮? It echoes.

There's a beat.

Esme pauses, being reminded of the peaceful feeling she had in that angelic hotel room with her little dove on her chest. The feeling of finally being able to see her smile, her bright eyes, and her chaotic but loving nature.

𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮. The voice snaps. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓼, 𝓨𝓞𝓤?! 𝓐 𝓼𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓷? 𝓐 𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓾𝓫𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓪𝓼 𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵f?

But what if it is.... Esme ponders.

Could she? Would it be possible? Why were the seraphims so intrigued by her, and why did Lucifer seem to take an immediate liking to her?

"ESME!" Angel shouts from above the water, causing her fins to twitch slightly on her head. She swims up and pops her head out with confusion spread on her face. "Phew, I know you like to explore, but don't fuckin' scare me like that I've had a-" He freezes as his eyes land on her collarbone, the bruise now exposed to his vision. "What is that?" He asks, his voice dark.

Esme looks down to see the mark on her skin, her hand flying to cover it.

Shit.

"None of your concern." She says sternly. Angel gets up from the dock and leans down to the water, his eyes shining a bright purple hue - obviously aggravated.

"You did not!" He shouts, "Tell me you weren't that fuckin' stupid!"

Esme eyes widen at his display, her voice shocked, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me!" He points his finger at her. "He's done how many things to you? You've waited for him for fuckin' years, Es! He DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU!"

Esme's eyes glow a bright green and she pulls herself up by the wood of the dock, her tail disappearing, "You have no right to speak to me that way!" She shouts, standing up and looking up at him. Despite their ridiculous height difference, she was not intimidated in the slightest.

"Is he like your fuck buddy now or something? How low are you going to go, Esme?" His voice is dripping with sarcasm and disrespect. "I know you're a Siren and all, but I didn't think you were a wh-"

In a moment of her anger getting a best of her, an emerald chain appears around Angel's neck and she roughly pulls him to her face, causing him to drop on his knees.

"You forget who you're speaking to." She hissed with a venom in her throat. Her voice was a sickening melody with a threatening echo.

The two pause and Esme's eyes quickly widen, her glow fading and becoming dim. She drops the chain and backs up as it dissipates. There's a silence between the two of them, both of them shocked at their own actions.

The silence breaks when she speaks, "You think you're any different? You're just doing it in secrecy." Angel stands up and pushes passed her, but she speaks again, harshly,

(I Didn't Plan It, Keala Settle 🎶)

"Go ahead! Throw your rocks at me." She pivots to face him, "From your little glass house, and then take off running."

She takes a step forward, maintaining eye contact with him, "You're no better than me! We've both made mistakes, haven't we?"

🎶 I won't undo what I'm doing to sit in judgment of what makes us human...🎶

Tears slowly begin to build in her eyes,

🎶I don't claim to be proud, but my head won't be hung in shame....🎶

I didn't plan it,

But the light turned red and I ran it,

And I'm still standing,

It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here.... 🎶

She puts her hands to her chest, singing in a desperate breathless whine,

I understand it,

A story written by my own hand, it's

Life biting right at your heels,

I didn't plan it,

But it's finally something to feel...🎶

Angel looks at her in disbelief, shaking his head and looking away. In his mind, she's weak, she has fallen just as hard as she had in her human life, but this time she was a fool if she was willing to let it happen all over again.

Esme steps closer to him, grabbing a hold of his hands to redirecting his attention down to her face. She waves her arm in the air,

Look around you,

Ain't no saints here, baby,

We're all just looking for a little less crazy...🎶

And sometimes,

It's a hard left turn down a road you never thought you'd see...🎶

She smacks her hand into her chest. She wasn't going to apologize for acting on what made her feel so incredibly fulfilled for the first time in her entire afterlife. Even though she didn't know where her and Alastor were in this moment, she knew that for that hour or so, she was just with him, with her husband, just as they usually were in their little house with the red shutters.

I didn't plan it,

I'm takin' back what's been taken for granted,

And I can't stand it....🎶

Her hands form fists and she slams one into the side of the wooden dock.

I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free...

Oh, I needed saving,

And a good mistake needed making...🎶

She approaches Angel and goes on her tippy toes, reaching for his face and guiding it to look down at her.

Maybe you need the same thing,

Something to feel,

To race through your blood and remind you you're here...🎶

Angel's eyes fill with tears. He knows exactly what she is referring to, and to be honest that was the reason why he was so upset all evening. He had all these feelings building within him for someone he had just met, and didn't know what to do with them. For the first time, in a long time, it wasn't lust, it wasn't play, it was far more than that and he didn't know what to do.

Esme's eyes fill with her own tears seeing him debating with his thoughts. He didn't have to explain anything to her, she could feel him in her mind. She could sense that he was upset, but could also sense a feeling of affection within him. She wasn't a dumb woman, she knew who it was for, and if he would just allow himself to take a leap - perhaps he would see the sense in what she did.

To open your eyes and look around,

And see the sky when you're underground...🎶

She backs up and throws her hands in the air with a huff.

I didn't plan it, but that's life!

And I'm finally feeling alive,

It's not right, but it's mine

And it's finally something to feel....🎶

Esme sighs and looks at her reflection in the water, "You have no right to judge me..." She whispers, "And, I'm not a whore." She sniffles, sucking up some tears, "I think so highly of you, bambino, how could you say that about me?"

Angel sighs and takes a step forward, "I'm sorry, amore, I never should have said that." He didn't want to hurt her, but he was worried for her. All throughout his childhood, she had always been there for him, but now the roles were changed and he wanted to be there alongside her. He couldn't control her, no one would, but he didn't want her to self destruct waiting and wanting someone who was unhealthy for her.

But was he? Was he unhealthy? Alastor had spent centuries watching her closely and being in her life from the sidelines. His priority was to keep her safe. She was the last thing he had from his life, and if something were to happen to her he wouldn't forgive himself. He had casted that spell years ago to do just that, protect her. He knew that as long as she was shielded with his power, she would be okay.

He was proud of her, endlessly, and was just satisfied with her in the same space as him. She wanted more, she wanted much more, and he didn't know if he could give that to her just yet.

"I'm sorry too." Esme sighs, turning around to make eye contact with Angel, "I should've never used that against you." The two smile sadly at one another and embrace tightly. "I love you, Anthony." She whispered, the only one to use his actual name.

"I love you too, Es." He sighs before pulling back. The two begin to walk off the dock, and Esme grabs her coat, zipping it up to cover up her mark. They begin to walk back to the hotel, hand in hand. "I just want to protect you and keep you safe."

"That's sweet and all," She chuckles, "But I assure you, I'm fine." They pause before they enter the hotel, "You deserve to feel love." She says softly, squeezing his hands and holding her free one to the door, preventing him from going inside, "When I met...well, it felt like I was flying. Everything felt complete. I would have laid my life down for my family." She smiles sadly, "You know when it's different, because it feels whole."

Angel smiles at her sincerely.

"Make good choices." She winks as she walks inside.

The hotel is quiet, most people going to sleep as it was late in the evening. However, Esme sees Vaggie sitting on the couch deep in thought. She sighs, she didn't care for her, but she also didn't want Charlie and her relationship to suffer. She motions Angel to go up the stairs and walks over to her.

"Need a listening ear?" Esme says softly, sitting down.

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Vaggie says, turning her face. Esme sighs exasperated, she understood where she was coming from, but she also knew how betrayed Charlie must have felt. "I thought she would hate me if she knew the truth." Vaggie sniffles, rubbing her temples, "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You don't hold things from the one you love." Esme says softly, "Charlie trusts you..." She begins, "I mean, in my honest opinion, this is nothing." She waves her hand in the air and begins to laugh in amusement, "Try your serial killer husband hiding the fact that he is also a cannibal. Or, try him cheating on you while you grieve your daughter." She laughs, but finds Vaggie staring at her with a shocked and concerned expression, obviously taken back. "Aha..ha..erm.." She clears her throat, "I'm sorry."

Esme runs a hand through her hair, "But, this is a big deal to her." She looks into the fire in front of them, "The only thing you can do is to be there for her while she processes all of this."

"But, she hates me..."

"Oh, she may appear that way, but she loves you dearly you know that." Esme smiles, "She's going to push back, fight you, have a snippy attitude, but she wouldn't be so upset if she didn't love you so much."

Vaggie smirks and looks at her playfully, "Maybe you aren't so bad." The two stand up and look at one another, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were actually trying to be redeemed."

Esme chuckles, "I'm not a monster, dear, I'm a mother." She cups her face, "And I want you girls to be happy." She walks away, heading upstairs and retreating to her room...

Completely missing the sinister shadow lurking in the corner, watching and listening to everything she has said. 

~ Author's Note ~

We're officially on the last ten chapters of this book. Buckle up!

In the meantime, I have a few surprises for you all. 

First off, I've started planning the Geneviève AU book. Here's the book cover for you to gawk at! 🥰

Of course, the Spotify playlist has been created and is still in the works. Feel free to take a listen of the songs that I've selected so far to inspire her story (HEAVY ON THE 'LISTEN').

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ItHQhcqYVDvvgbhq0eFUw?si=9a3a6c0d9e0841c1 

Also.....😏

I may have already created the cover for BOOK THREE OF THE SIREN SERIES! 

Again, this book would be published following the debut of season 2 of Hazbin. 

Cover art by BlushedSeraph on Tumblr and IG

As for Esme's plot, well that is for me to know...

But please do guess, I'd love to know the theories ~

🖤Words: 2320🖤

~ Artemis 💗🦌