CH 37: Welcome Back

This Art for this chapter done by blushedseraph on tumblr 🖤

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As they're walking to the hotel the Seraphims arrange for them to stay in, the group passes by Adam and Lute in the town square. Their eyes go wide,

"Holy fuckin' shit balls, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"What is she doing here?"

As Esme and the woman continue to follow the group, Esme feels a strange sense of danger. She turns around and looks Adam in the eyes, pausing for a moment before she walks away.

"Who's the new chick?"

"Probably one of their filthy sinners."

"Mm, she's hot as fuck though." Adam's eyes roam the sinner's body, taking in every curve and detail. "Bet she would look hotter under me." He snickers before taking a slurp from his cup and being smacked in the arm by Lute.

~ Back to the rest of the group ~

The group soon reaches the hotel, Charlie and the others look up at the large building in awe. It was glorious.

Sera's eyes widen as she hears Adam talking in the distance, "Forgive me, but I must take care of my duties. Emily, I believe you can handle this yourself."

Emily smiles and nods in excitement, "Oh, I'm so excited for you!" She exclaims, taking Esme's hands.

"It was nice to meet you. I'll see you at the hearing." Sera disappears and Esme looks back at Emily,

"I don't understand, I'm here for the court. This meeting has nothing to do with me." She feels the small fawn tugging at her leg and picks her up, resting on her hip.

Emily smiles, "You're The Siren, correct?" Esme nods, rubbing the child's back as she nuzzles into her neck. "You're the one with the missing memory Lucifer was telling us about. We can help you! If you just allow me, I can restore everything you've lost. Just think about all that you've missed!"

Esme freezes at her words, her breath trembling softly, "B-But this was supposed to be..I...was this the plan the whole time?" She looks at Charlie and Vaggie who are both smiling at her.

"Esme.." Margo says softly, placing a small hand on her forearm. Her arm was slightly damp with a cold slick to it, holding none of the warmth she remember her sister by. Taking a staggering breath, Margo looked up into The Siren's eyes, desperate to find the light she once admired, "I don't want to think about what happened to you after I was gone, but I do know that the sister I remember was absolutely amazing. She was an amazing daughter, wife, and mother. You deserve to know her too."

Esme's eyes fill with tears as she feels the angel's chest rising and falling against hers. This baby, this little bundle, claimed to be the treasure she had lost for so long. If they were correct, and it appeared they had to be, she would be connected to the piece of her that she had been missing for so long. She gulps and looks at Emily, "What do I have to do?"

"For starters, why don't we give little Genny to Miss Abigail here." She smiles, passing the toddler away. "You can come with me." She extends her hand out in a friendly gesture. Esme is hesitant at first, but accepts her hand and begins to walk away. As much as she was usually brave and resilient, there was a tightness in her stomach that plagued her to no end. It was as if her body was warning her that whatever was to come ahead, wouldn't be so easy.

"Wait." She turns to Margo and reaches out for her, "Come with me." Margo smiles reassuringly and takes Esme's hand. The three walk into a beautiful room with lavish white and gold chairs. There's a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling with beautiful gems that no one in Hell has ever seen before. Esme is soon guided to a large white chair with a fluffy white throw over it. She sits down and squeezes Margo's hand as Emily walks away.

"Will it hurt?"

Emily doesn't answer at first, flipping through the pages of a large book with her tongue tightly in-between her teeth. "Hm?" She looks up, "Oh, well, no I would hope not. I haven't done this before, you're my first!" She smiles happily.

"Oh....goody..." Esme smiles nervously.

"Angelic magic should never hurt, but the memories coming back may be a little difficult to process." Emily finishes reading through the page and shuts the book closed, sending it to fly back on the shelf. She pivots to the two. "Now...are you ready?" Her eyes sparkled with hope. It was nice to see that at least someone had faith in this whole endeavor. It had been years, decades even, and without her beloved coming to rescue her, Esme had considered that she may never be reconnected with her past. It was now, or never. 

She takes a deep breath in and sighs, "Ready as I'll ever be..."

"Perfect!" Emily flies behind her, "Where did you smack your noodle anyway?"

Esme picks up her hands and parts her hair, revealing the gash behind it. Margo takes a sharp inhale, "Oh my god....Esme.." Her sister's tone was sympathetic, soft, nothing by how Esme wanted to be spoken to. She didn't want people to look down at her for what happened, she didn't want anyone to cry or pout. This was not a charity case, she was still strong despite everything that had happened. Perhaps, if she pushed the coldness of that feeling away, she would learn to have a stiffer upper lip - one that would not be spoken to in such a manner. 

"I don't need your pity." She hisses.

Margo bends down to Esme's eye level in front of her, "You can look at me the whole time, squeeze my hands if you have to."

"I'll hurt you."

"Seeing you in pain is the only thing that can hurt me." Margo says calmly.

"Ready?" The seraphim chirps.

"Go ahead."

Emily smiles brightly as an ocean of golden light poured from her hands. She carefully laid her hands over the mark on Esme's head, beginning to carefully enter her mind, unlocking all the tucked away pieces.

~ Esme's POV ~

At first I didn't feel anything, but then, oh my god but then did it burn.

It burnt so badly, as if someone was fusing my head back together with electricity. Every shock made me coil in my scales, "M-Margo.." I held tight to her. I didn't want to let go. I was terrified. My entire body felt like it was on fire. I had never felt such agony in my entire life. Angelic magic wasn't meant to hurt, but I guess sinners are designed to feel bad. We are to be punished after all.  My precious little sister tried to speak to me, but she quickly faded away and I found myself in an endless sea of white light. It was vast and there was no clear destinations, just an endless clear abyss. It was eerie and I found myself taking small timid steps around the space. 

"What is going on?" There was no answer, "Hello?!" I shouted. The sound of children laughing caught my attention and I followed its call. 

Two young girls run past me, one has short straight hair and the other has two long pigtails at the top of her head. Her curls descend her back and flow effortlessly behind her. They appear almost as if they're in an old black and white film. There's no color to either of them, except the taller one who has bright green eyes that lock with mine. She halts, the other running past her with a giggle. There is something within her that I recognize, something within those eyes. I feel that tunneling feeling again, similar to when I was dancing with Alastor that one night, being pulling into something - something I felt was calling me. I reached out to her and she smiles at me before,

"ANDIAMO BAMBINE!"

That was my mother's voice! Oh, she would shout from down the street block as we would trail after her to go do the shopping. Her voice still sounded as beautiful as ever. The little girl looks behind her shoulder and laughs as she runs off smiling.

I remember you know. Oh, we did have fun those summer days, didn't we? How could I forget that?

Margo....my little sister.

Suddenly there's a loud horn and I turn to see the smoke of a train rushing to my face. I was stuck in some old picture box film, having the scene cut quickly to another location. I cough and wave it away to reveal a rather busy station. Looking above me I can see streams of light coming from the windows and illuminating the people who were all scrambling to meet their rides. Oh, Grand Central Terminal. It always was such a busy place. 

"Now, my lovies, be careful. Call everyday!"

Mother...

"We will ma, I promise!"

God, I was so vibrant. Look at my skin, so much life.

"I love you very much, my darlings." I watch my mother wrap us both in her arms before we part. I see my younger self turn around. There was so much determination in her eyes and something in my stomach swirled in anticipation once again. There was something awaiting her, something she didn't know was to come, I sense it. 

"Don't worry, ma. The Big Easy has nuthin' on Manhattan." I blow a kiss. "Ti amo, Mamma!"

The train car speeds up and rushes past me, blowing my hair in the wind. I turn to my mother but she walks away from me.

Mamma? Please...come back....

I walk to her but soon the space is filled with lively music and crowds rushing past me. Everything was so vibrant in bright colors and sounds. I could smell bakeries with mouth watering scents of powdered sugar and chocolate. In the distance, I spot my young self walking down the streets with a long coat and a small purse. Margo follows closely behind me and we tuck away into an alleyway, dipping behind a small door and down some stairs.

Suddenly I'm surrounded by sultry jazz music and the scent of old liquor.  I wince as some prick pushes past me, almost knocking me clear on my rear. You know, this constant flipping through channels was getting to be quiet tiresome and rather annoying. However, this is an atmosphere I immediately recognize, the melodies finding my throat as I hum along quietly. The tables are filled with many different patrons, but I push my way through to walk to my younger self.  She is seated and appeared to be very unimpressed by the space, her eyes remaining on her glass as she swishes it in her hand. She is soon greeted by a man.

A handsome fellow, really, quiet a sight to see. He's tall, light mocha skin, with light brown hair that waved softly. He sits alongside her, sipping at a glass, before turning to her.

"Pardon me Miss, but I don't think I officially introduced myself..."

I take a step closer. He seems familiar.

"...I'm Alastor, dear, it's a pleasure to meet you."

My breath is stolen, there is nothing left within my lungs, as my jaw unhinges. That tightness in my belly soon releases itself and suddenly my throat feels like it is filling with acid. 

Alastor? But, how....how could we have possibly known one another?

"I'm Esme, the pleasure is all mine." I watch as she places her hand into his. He slowly raises it to his lips and kisses it lightly.

But, Alastor, if you....why didn't you say anything? All this time?

The two lock eyes with one another, and a familiar feeling returns to me. She's lost in his eyes, as he is in hers. It's clear at that moment, this was the beginning of a love story. One that I found myself reading from outside the pages this time. They waltz across the floor, and it's almost as if no one else is present. As soon as they connected, they parted, but the air around me fills with numerous different voices as she slowly walked away from him.

"I love you...." It's my own voice, "I'm so wildly in love with you."

It was him this whole time. This entire blasted time, he was right under my nose. I walk up to him and place a hand on his face, but my claws pass through his skin. It's useless as the scene once again passes by, his body was translucent, not meant for me to hold yet. Another voice speaks, one I've only recognized with an overlay of static before.

"I am yours, if you will have me..."

This is what you sound like without that blasted filter? God, talk to me everyday. Talk to me about everything, about nothing, about whatever you heart desires. Just talk to me.

The sun is bright again and I turn in a circle to observe...this...this is my living room. That was where he laid me on the couch that night, I remember! Those stairs where Margo would run up and down every morning for her breakfast before her classes. Upon hearing some shuffling, I realize I'm not alone. I twist and see the two standing before one another again. 

"Marry me."

"Come again?"

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about it before."

"Dearest, I've thought about it from the moment I heard your beautiful voice."

Hearing their words, seeing them embrace and worship one another, was the hardest pain I have had to face so far.

Marry him? No....there's no way in Hell...I, but why didn't he fucking say something?

Why did you abandon me? Why haven't you said anything?! Why did you leave me for years, decades, to be alone all by myself?!

I waited for you. I sat next to you during all those meetings - you never once looked at me! Was this a game? Some sick entertainment? All that time, I thought I was never good enough for any husband to find me. I had faith that someday, maybe by some grace, I would be wrong and he would come to me. And you knew the whole time? You left me to rot by myself in my own misery for ALL. THAT. TIME?!

I look down at my ring and tears soon meet my eyes as I clench my fingers. He put this on me. He wanted to protect me. Why then did he abandon me?

DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?!

A cafe, small whispers from behind my ear, "Who could be certain that it's even his?" There I stand, my skin is glowing and I look radiant. In a long gray dress with the tiniest bump stretched around my midriff.

It was all him, wasn't it?

A hospital room and the sound of small cries, "Geneviève Abigail..."

My life, my whole creation, my heart in a human form. How could I have ever forgotten about you? I could have never forgotten about you. My entire life, my whole existence, I was created to be your mother!

I - I was supposed to keep you safe! I was supposed to KEEP YOU SAFE!

I'm trembling and tears are streaming down my face as I hear those horrid haunting voices plague my mind, only this time screaming in my skull. The smell of the antiseptic hospital floors, the noises of children crying in the distance, the taste of that fucking seawater! My senses are on overdrive and my hands clench around my skull, trying to squeeze every word - every memory out! 

"SHE'S BURNING UP!"

"WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY BABY!?"

"ALASTOR, PLEASE! PLEASE, I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD!"

"ESME, DAMN YOU, ANSWER ME, I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Why, why did you grab my hair like that? Why did you have your shadow come after me and drag me like a ragdoll? Did you not see the fright in my eyes, or did you not care anymore? What took over you in that moment and why was I not enough for you? Why did you throw me into the river?

Why didn't you care for me anymore?

Suddenly the air returns to my lungs and I fall forward with a thud, hitting the ground underneath me. I'm shaking, barely able to hold myself up, and gasping for air as if I've never had oxygen before.  "Esme...hey it's alright, look at me." I look up to see Margo in the room we once were before. It's bright, and the light stings my eyes, but I can see clearly now. "Margo..." I whisper to her.

Emily helps me stand up from the chair, concern spread on both of their faces. The seraphim runs off to a nearby fridge and returns with a water bottle, holding it to my chest to settle me down. She nods her head and strokes my arm assuringly as I get my bearings. My head feels different, secure and safe. For once, I feel safe within my own mind. For someone who could easily enter the minds of others, the hidden secrets my own skull kept from me always frightened me to my very core.

I face Margo, my voice barely above a whisper, "Where's my baby? Where's Geneviève?"

She smiles at me, "Welcome back, Ezzy." 

🖤Words: 2852🖤

~ Artemis 🦌💗