Ch. 12 Flashbacks and Friends

You can play the video whenever you want, I listened to it while editing/writing this chapter. I recommend waiting until after Tubbo is brought up, but it's up to you if you just wanna play it on loop throughout the whole chapter or not play it at all.

Ghostbur's death affected everyone, even Dream, but no one was affected more than the child that clutched him as he dissolved in his arms. It was... too personal. It felt targeted. Though Tommy knew he wasn't meant to be the person of interest, he felt as though he was. He felt as though XD specifically sought him out to ruin his life and make him depressed, just for the god's leisure. I mean, what other kid had to go through all of this at 16?

Despite Ghostbur's comforting last words, He couldn't help but feel enraged. Furious with his brother's demise, the brother that wasn't afraid to show he actually cared.

Throughout his entire life, Wilbur was always there to help him. Scraped his knee while running around the garden? Wilbur was there to bandage it and soothe his little 5-year-old cries. Him and Tubbo had a small fight and now 8-year-old Tommy thought it was the end of their friendship? Wilbur was there to smack him back into reality and help them become friends again. Tommy wanted to learn how to fight? Techno- nope, he was too busy being with Phil. Wilbur brought books upon books and they both learned together. Heck, that's how they learned about potions! Even Ghostbur was there for him when he was in exile! Flip Phil, Wilbur was the closest thing to a father figure he had. And now he's gone. For the second time.

Tommy thought that the second time would've been a lot easier to handle. Turns out it's worse. At least then he knew he'd see his brother's ghost eventually. This was the end. He'd never get to see him again.

It'd only been a few days, or has it been a week? He wasn't sure. He'd been laying on his bed, curled into a ball on top of the red blanket that was carelessly placed back days prior. Days before he died. Again. His house was dark; not even the sun could pierce through the heavy wool he'd placed on the windows. He hated the sun. It reminded him of that yellow sweater he'd wear.

He barely lived anymore. Every day he would follow the same routine; sulk, grab a glass of water, cry, sleep, feed shroud, talk to shroud, cry some more, stay up later than he should due to nightmares, try to eat, fail to get up, repeat. It was torture; he couldn't stop thinking of all the things he is. He was.

Tommy clutched onto the singular piece of blue that had been given to him, well if he was being honest, he'd never let go of the stone in the first place. The other two pieces were given to Phil in a daze as he and Tommy had walked back to Tommy's place together. Both members were unable to process the horrible event that took place. He knew it wasn't working, the blue that is. He was given clear instructions, hold the stone, wait for it to turn black, drop the stone. But he couldn't find it in himself to release the black gem. By now he imagined the rock combining with his hand, even though he knew it not to be true.

He grabbed the red velvety sheets, watching it slip through his hand and flop back into a crinkled position next to him. His mind was a long, broken record. He cried as the thought of Wilbur, then his demise, Ghostbur, then his death. He slept through dreams of Wilbur, then his expiration, Ghostbur, then his end. He spoke to Shroud about Wilbur, then his passing, Ghostbur, then his murder.

"What do I do?" Tommy, in a fetal position sitting next to Shrouds cage, shook as he spoke. Shroud feebly scratched his glass enclosure, attempting to comfort his owner but ultimately failing. "Ghostbur was my only friend in exile, he's my only true friend and family and now- and n-now..." He drifted off.

The more he thought about exile the more his brain drifted. Ghostbur was the only person to visit me in exil...in exile. In exile two people wanted me. Two people visited me. It was Ghostbur.... and Dream!... But Dream's dead too... Tommy sulked. Dream didn't care. He manipulated me! He looked at Shroud. "But what if he does care..." Shroud looked at him with big, red eyes almost as if to ask for freedom from his glass cage. "I-I mean, since he's dead isn't he supposed to be like- like really genuine or some shit? And- and... He was really nice before..." He mumbled to the arachnid. He was going insane, he knew it. Anyone would be insane, talking to a spider.

For once in the limbo of time that he was there, he looked at Shroud. He truly looked at his little eight legged friend. "Even if Dream did care, nobody can replace my best friend." A look of familiarity flashed across his face. A painful flashback of Tubbo crossed his mind, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

Once upon a time the two had been inseparable. According to Philza, their mothers once got along great before their demise, and they both bonded through the trauma of lost mother figures. Though Tommy had always been the bold charismatic child-like bundle of energy, Tubbo perfectly balanced it with his mature, quiet attitude, and tended to be the one that got them out of trouble. That didn't mean Tubbo didn't have a mischievous side as well.

As they grew older, they stayed just as close, though they were forced to go to different schools as Tubbo is a goat hybrid (which was frowned upon in the server they lived in at the time), it did little to stop them from seeing each other everyday, like two bees in a hive.

When they turned 9 and 10, they both moved to the Dream SMP, a server known for being a safe place for hybrids. This is where it all went wrong for Tommy. Wilbur had managed to get in an argument with Dream, the owner of the server, due to a conflict of drugs and thus the war for L'manburg's independence was born by the time he was 10. A year long war with a complicated history that Tommy didn't want to think about. So instead, he thought back to Tubbo. Tubbo loved the idea of a free country just as much as Tommy, so they fought for its rights. Tommy remembered building a bench with Tubbo, right over a cliff with a jukebox to play the discs Tommy loved so much. They would visit the bench every afternoon and just listen to music, chase some bee's, which Tubbo was obsessed with. He remembered the promise he made to Tubbo at one point, "Promise you'll never choose anything over our friendship?" "Only if you promise first." Though the war traumatized the children, they had each other, and that was all Tommy needed.

It was like this until after both Shlatt and Wilbur died, ending the feud of who would be president. The town still needed someone as however. Since Wilbur had been the best leader, they looked to his sibling for answers, but Tommy knew he couldn't run the country at eleven. He wasn't liked by many because he was "annoying", "loud", and his personal favorite, "too childish". He wouldn't be right to lead the people, but his best friend... Tubbo had always been his better half, and he deserved it more than Tommy did, in his opinion. So Tubbo stepped up as the next leader at twelve. He'd gotten awfully busy after that, never able to spend much time away from his office, but he'd still hang out with Tommy on the bench once in a while. Despite this, Tommy didn't fare well with the separation.

Having no one to distract his bubbling mind, he leaned into a telltale coping mechanism he'd developed when he was often ignored and somewhat isolated, acting out for attention. In this case it was through pranking, replacing flour with salt, salt with sugar, sugar with flower at the bakery, or blowing up a statue of something, or even writing a fake treasure map and hiding it under someone's pillow just to see if they'd be dumb enough to fall for it, which they never were, and he always got caught for it. 

Most of the people ignored it, a few talked to him about his behavior, his father had even managed to get Techno to watch over him for a bit like he used to before they moved servers (which proved to be quality bonding time for the two, where Tommy was able to open up a bit to his older brother about his past experience with school), but Dream was angry at the child as he kept causing messes on the server, some more harmful than others. Tommy wasn't one to like arguing, as he ended up getting defensive and that led to yelling, which Tommy didn't like, but at least this way people would talk to him instead of ignoring him.

Eventually another hybrid joined and was welcomed to the server with open arms. Tommy wasn't very interested in meeting him, but he'd heard of him several times: Ranboo. Tubbo and him had instantly clicked, this is what got Tommy intrigued. Eventually the bench became a safe place for Tommy to sit, while Tubbo spent his time with Ranboo, but it was okay because he was still Tommy's best friend. This didn't stop Tommy from feeling upset though, so he began planning another prank. Originally it was a prank on George, Dream's best friend. Tommy had found his summer home and decided to play a small prank to spook George. It was just some minor griefing, something George could fix with a few hours of effort, but the cherry on top was the trap Tommy had set, one that he was proud of because it took him a lot of time to properly set up. He created an elaborate system to where once George opened the door, a small firework would pop out from the floor and fly up to his head level, then pop and fizzle out. Nothing too major compared to his other pranks, but he was very proud of his progress in making fireworks, a skill he had always wanted to learn but never found the time to until Tubbo was too busy to talk.

But it quickly backfired when a few days later, Dream stormed the new country, looking for Tommy, as who else would've burnt down his best friend's home? The firework plan failed, lighting the house on fire before Dream had even reached the doorstep to investigate. Arson was a big issue to Dream, and arson on his best friend's property was an ever bigger problem. Though Tommy tried to explain, it was in vain; he'd royally screwed up now. Tubbo was quickly involved, and soon he was faced with a choice. Either exile Tommy for a second time, or Dream would block off the country from everything else, building sky high walls to keep anyone from going out or in.

"Promise you'll never choose anything over our friendship?"

Tommy stared at Tubbo as he looked between the two, Dream had started building large obsidian walls to block the country, or anyone in it from leaving, proving that his threat wasn't a bluff. Tommy tried to beg for a compromise, but it fell on deaf ears. "Enough Tommy, the adults are speaking." Dream seemed to taunt. Finally, Tubbo made his decision.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise, to do what's best for this nation and right now YOU, Tommy, your presence here, is not the best for this nation." He looked straight into Tommy's eyes, without hesitation. He was cold. He was stern. He wasn't the Tubbo Tommy knew.

"Only if you promise first."

He shook his head. "My new best friend. You would never betray me like... that," he said as he gently pulled the latch to the occupants cage. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or the lack of food, but his everything deprived brain simply connected with the spider. He, too, felt as though he was constantly trapped in a glass cage, although his was very unstable and the slightest screw up would break it. 

As soon as the latch opened up, the spider immediately went to comfort the 16 year old, or at least Tommy would like to think that's why the spider jumped onto his hand and crawled up to his shoulder, where he rested just beside the green bandana Tommy normally wore. Shroud rubbed his head against the silk cloth, though it felt quite a bit rougher than silk due to the age of it. Tommy immediately went to shield the spider from harming itself, his right hand slightly releasing the Blue he'd been grasping for so  long while his left went to touch Shroud, hesitating as he wondered if Shroud was poisonous.

"Shroud! Where- why are you up here? Your not a parrot are you?" He said a bit jokingly, thinking distantly of an actual spider pirate and laughing a bit at the weird thought. Shroud seemed to laugh as well- err well, Tommy liked to of think he was. Regardless, Tommy prodded gently at his fuzzy friend as he began to worry. Almost all of his other public pets have died. Slayed by a messed up adult, or a father that forgot to feed the beta fish when he was six.

An image of Henry, his now dead cow, crossed his mind but he shook it out of his head. He wouldn't cry again, or at least not now. "Look Shroud-" He held his hand loosely in front of his shoulder, gently touching Shroud to let him know what he was doing. Shroud, being an untrained spider, simply crawled across his hand and up his arm. Tommy then had to catch the spider before it escaped. But just as he went to carefully swoop the spider into his grasp, Shroud would jump onto his hand and run along his arm, making its way back to Tommy's Green bandana. He gave it a few attempts, spinning in small circles to try and follow the spider but failed at every attempt as he was too gentle. "Wait Shroud!" He yelled. To his surprise, the arachnid did just that, staying put on his forearm, where the black spider had scurried to in a hurry due to the small feud between the two.

"Hey, hey. Look, I don't- I don't want you to get hurt okay? So- so please just go back to the glass cage?" Shroud seemed to respond to his voice as he carefully skittered across his arm and back onto his shoulder, where he reattached himself to the green cloth Tommy had been gifted long ago. Tommy wouldn't admit it, but he could be very clingy with friends because he's had very few of them and they all abandoned him.

"I guess that's a no." He sighed, pushing the door to Shrouds cage just enough to where it wouldn't get in the way of anything but still leaving it a bit open. Standing up, he went to go to his bed, still clutching the blackened stone that he now was starting to think he should let go of. Tommy hadn't even looked at it since Ghostbur had given it to him. His fist had locked around it like a totem and refused to give in, even when he was asleep. But perhaps with Shroud's help he could feel good enough to finally let the blue do its job. Only long enough for it to turn back. He almost never wanted to separate from it, and he wasn't sure if he was ready now.

I guess there is only one way to find o-

*Knock knock knock*

What was that?

*Knock knock*

Who would want to visit me? I thought no one cared about me...

Carefully, Tommy walked to the door. He wasn't quite sure why he was worried, and he would never admit to anyone if he was scared, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he shouldn't bother with the door.

But what if it's dad?

With that thought, and Shroud on his shoulder, he opened the door a bit.

"Dream?"

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