Epilogue

I'm sorry, thats all I have to say for this last chapter.

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1154 years later

Gawain's pov.:

I stand on a hill, the tall grass whipping at my legs and the wind howling around me, messing up my hair. But I didn't care. I didn't care that even now the wind called to me, music to my ears. I didn't care that my power rolled underneath my skin, the power begging to be released, but I denied it and the itching continued. A problem for another day. Footsteps sounded behind me and I wiped at my face, smearing the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. Lyla, the eldest of my sisters stepped beside me, starring at the same spot I had for the past three hours. I didn't need to look at her to know that tears were streaming down her face, her lip quivering as she clenched her hands. Lyla, born 30 years after me and although her power did not reach a magnitude similar to mine, she made up for it with her fighting skills. Even after all these years she manages to beat me every time we spare; much to uncle Cassian's delight.

Aella and Embla walk in soon after Lyla. Aella, 100 years younger than me and 70 years younger than Lyla but only 5 years older than Embla. A blessing everyone had said, to conceive a child so close together in years. Aella and Embla had been inseparable since. I wasn't as close to them as I was to Lyla, but where Lyla and I got in trouble, where we would go out at night drinking until the sun rose, where she was my wing woman and I was her wingman, Aella and Embla filled the other part of my heart. The part that would drag me out of bed before the sun rose on a particular day that our schedules were clear of training and schooling, blindfolding me until we were on one of the dozens of mountains in the night court and ripped off' my blindfold to a picnic on the lakeside. They were always in the garden with Elain, my sweet younger sisters but men learned the hard way that my sisters weren't all smiles and kindness. I was on a scouting mission with uncle Az when we were called back to Velaris. A group of men had attacked my two sisters when they were shopping, hopping to get a piece of them but by the time Az arrived to interrogate them with dad, there wasn't enough of them left to do much with them at all. At the end of it all there were 12 bodies, I knew that just like the rest of us they were trained by Cassian to fight physically but I had never thought they would put it to use; a part of me hoped that they never would have to. I went to grab my sisters, but they just shrugged me off, held their heads high, and walked home. They didn't say anything about the blood or body gore staining their pants or sweaters, they didn't even seem fazed by it, and I smiled because they reminded me so much of mother at that moment. Later that night I asked them why they didn't just use their powers, avoid the mess but Aella, daemati like me told me that she wanted to make sure they felt the pain, the pain they had no trouble thinking they were going to do to the both of them. Blind icy rage had coursed through me when I left them after that, it took a sparring session with dad to calm me down but I could tell he needed it just as much as me for when he had learned what happened, he misted their dead bodies then and there, as if he could enact one last bit of pain on them before they went to wherever the dead went to.

Aella held Theos hand in hers and Embla held Delia's. The twins, and as far as our parents' children line would go. Theo and Delia, Only 9 years old but both of them so brave. They each were a spitting image of mom and dad, even at 9. Theo had dad's inky hair and violet eyes, a trait the men possessed it seemed, but where my face curved in places unlike dads, Theo, he had the same structure; my little brother. And Delia, sweet Delia who was nothing but trouble and a pit full of fire had moms face. While all my other sisters had moms' blue grey eyes, Delia was the only one who actually looked like her. Even her attitude, much to Aunt Nesta's delight reminded me of mom. Looking at both of them was like a hit to the chest. I leaned down in front of them and they wrapped their tiny arms around my neck, crying into my shoulder. I almost broke there, but I had to keep strong, for the both of them. I looked up to Aella and Embla, both still in their black gowns. Their eyes were puffy and red and when Theo and Delia finally let go of me, they both gave me bone crushing hugs as well. Lyla though, she had changed from her black gown back to her Illyrian leathers, a comfort for her. She had told me once that taking them off was like taking off a layer of her skin. She didn't give me a hug though as I walked back to where I was standing, she wasn't like the others. I knew that for Lyla what she needed was space; she held in her emotions, much like dad. Cauldron she was a daddy's girl through and through. It caused us all hell when she was growing up, wouldn't listen to a thing any of us said, even mom unless it came from dad. She even has his personality. Each of my five siblings resembled my parents in some way or another but me.... Aside from dad's hair and eyes, aside from his power that I seemed to be the only one who inherited so much of when I was born, I didn't feel like I resembled any of my parents. It made me feel lost for a time but eventually I came to reasoning, I didn't have to resemble them to love them, to know that they love me; loved me. While I related to dad and got along with him just fine, wonderful actually, I was a mommies boy, much to Cassian's amusement; he spent countless hours teasing me about it growing up until I had knocked him so hard on the back with a training stick he wisely stopped running his mouth. Mom had laughed so hard after I told her what happened tears had sprung from her eyes.

The smell of salt fills the air and I realize I'm crying again; I didn't bother to whip the tears off my face this time though.

'Sometimes, showing you care is not a weakness Gawain, but can actually be a powerful tool to get your message across.'

Mom's voice fills my head. A memory from one of the many, many schooling lessons from when I was just a child. A flick of my wrist and I grab the bundle of flowers I was holding in the dark portal. I grab and pass it down the line until we each hold two flowers. I step forward first and place a red rose on the freshly shoveled mound where mom's headstone lays. I bend down and place a kiss to the dirt, standing on shaky legs. Caldron they were going to collapse from under me at any second now, but I took the two steps it took to reach dad's grave, placing the black magic hollyhock on top, placing a kiss their too. The hollyhock was dads favorite flower he had told me once during a training session in the dark woods behind the Illyrian camps.

'Do not be afraid to know things others would tease you for. This flower' he said as he bent down placing a finger on a petal, 'it closes in on itself in times of danger' indeed, the flower's petals snapped over its center once by one until a shield was formed, protecting the heart. Just like father. I had cracked a smile, but he continued. 'this flower also can kill a man by eating a single petal. One petal and the victim will die a horrible slow death, the side effects not shown until a week later, giving the flower its nickname, the quiet killer. Take three petals however, and you'll be dead before you finish chewing. Now tell me if that's something any of those brutes would know' he said, nodding south the where the camp lies. 'or if they are too proud to learn something as silly as flowers.'

I stepped back and watched as my siblings followed, Lyla placing a long kiss on dad's grave and the twins... the twins collapsed before they even reached them and any part of my heart that wasn't broken, broke at the sight of my youngest siblings crying and clawing at the dirt. I had more than a thousand years with my parents, memories to last a lifetime but Theo and Delia were only 9, the memories of them would wash away after the next thousand years, and I would rather kill myself then let that happen, I'll show them, memories from my life I had with them, at bedtime. Yes, a final gift I can give to them from my parents. I can show them how excited mom was when she found out she was with a child; I could show them the joy and shock on dad's face when he told all of us waiting downstairs during their birth that it was twins. So rare with fae. Eyes blurry with tears I picked them both up, each one on a hip as I brought them to mom's grave first. They both kissed the rose before laying it down with such gentleness, when we got to dad's grave, they were shaking so hard. All I wanted to do was take them home, light the fire in their room and read them a bedtime story, pretend like this never happened, pretend like they will wake up tomorrow and come down stairs to where they would 'sneak up' on dad and scare him, where they would give mom a big kiss on her cheek and wrestle with uncle Cassian at training when they tag teamed him with the training sticks. But they needed to be here, they wouldn't get this moment again so for one day, I have to put them through this pain, then I can protect them.

Cauldron I can't do this, how am I supposed to raise them and rule at the same time. How am I supposed to do all that and learn how to control all this power mom and dad gave me? Because mom was high lady her power transferred to me too, not the same abilities per say but the amount. When the transfer happened, I felt like I was going to die, it hurt so bad that I collapsed to the floor. Dad had trained me for when this would happen, but it wasn't supposed to happen for another two thousand years. I hate this, I hate them for putting this all on me, on us. I hate them for making us go on without them. They broke their promise to me, the one that was etched on my wrist, shaped in an inky band. They promised that they would step down from the thrown and hand it to me when the time was right, they promised that we would do it together, that they would help me ease into the role and all the power. I want to hate them for breaking it, but I can't, all I feel is this gaping hole inside me. Now my wrist is empty, the band that wrapped around is nothing but skin.

When we all finish, we all lay down on the ground, unmoving and silent except for the occasional huff or sniffle from our crying. The stars still shine just as bright as they did yesterday and the week before. I don't know what I expected, for the world to stop turning? For the stars to just disappear? I don't know but it seems cruel, cruel that I am in so much pain, that my life has just shifted as my parents were ripped from this world by a damn coup, but the world goes on; has to go on. I still don't really know what happened, one minute I was walking down for the manors roof training ring with uncle Cass, and the next I was on the floor, clawing at my skin in pain. What felt like hours was only minutes and by the time we reached the living room down stairs, uncle Az appeared in the living room, tears streaking his face, I had never seen him cry before I didn't stare at him long, not as my parents laid at his feet, fae bane arrows protruding through their bodies but it was the one that went through mom's heart that killed them; dad died instantly with her, that stupid darn promise.

It had caused more trouble than it was worth over our adventures the past couple of years, both of them on the brink of death during some battles between courts, a mission, or especially a close call when the rebel group attacked our court when I was only a baby; but it had never actually killed them. I would have said it was useless, and reckless, but after the battle with autumn court, when we were forced to back Eris and help him revolt against his father, when mom was injured, and they were both taken to the healer I visited them. What I saw, it was a whirlwind of emotions, Embla was just a child then, only six years old, Aella only 11 and I could tell that they didn't want to leave them, didn't want to leave me, Lyla or anyone else in my family.... But I also saw peace between them. Mom had told me the Hybern story once during our schooling lessons, had told me when dad died and while she didn't go into detail about it, I could see the horror written across her face as she remembered it, could see it in her eyes. Even then she was different for the whole day, I had never seen my mom so defeated, as if just the memory made her go to a dark place. I realized then, that my parents could never live without each other. Doing that, it was like living with half a soul or half a brain, it was impossible, and I understood why they did it, why they made that promise after the war. It still doesn't stop it from hurting, from knowing that I have both my parents gone. They would never see me find my mate, never see me get married, never see my grandchildren or when I would take power.

We all spent hours under the stars, watching as some shot across the sky, watched as they moved as time passed, all our hands locked together. It was tradition for us to come here on our birthdays, all of us regardless of who's birthday it was or how old we were. As the family grew, we would just lay here and watch the stars, all night. They told us that when they died, they would want to be buried here, where a part of their heart already lays; I hope they found peace. Their story might be done, but ours is not. They gave us life, they gave us hope and laughter, they taught us what it is like to be kind and to live with happiness, to find the light even in the darkest of times. For them, I will rule with greatness, for them I will continue on their legacy. As the sun began to peak on the horizon, Theo and Delia yawned, their eyes shuttering. They have been up for almost 24 hours straight.... Cauldron has it already been a whole day since my parents died? I would have to return soon, to face the responsibilities of high lord now. I stood and reached for the twins but Aella beat me to it.

"Stay G" she placed a hand on my arm and her eyes glowed, it was always Aella out of all my siblings that knew what I was feeling, she knew I needed just a little more time with them, then I would face my responsibilities. She scooped up little Theo, his head resting on her shoulder just as Embla laid Delia against herself. They walked to the edge of the hill where a small drop awaited and out came their wings. We all inherited dad's ability to bring out our wings if and when we please. It was a gift I would say, especially when I saw uncle Cass and Az struggle with fitting them through doorways and seats sometimes. Without another word, my sisters fly off into the night towards Velaris, which glimmered with lights, the city slowly awakening as the day begun. The city mourned their high lord and high lady. I don't think it'll be the same as it was before, but I'll have to do my best. All of my family's training finally coming to use. I walked back over to where Lyla lays on the grass, almost covered by the small flowers blooming around on the hill. Her eyes are closed but she's not sleeping I know that for sure, especially as a silent tear slipped out from her eyes, dropping onto the earth. I sat down in front of her and crossed my legs, picking at the grass and playing with it around my fingers. Over a thousand years old and I still act like a child. I almost huffed a laugh.

"I told them not to go" Lyla's voice is quit but rough, as if she had been screaming for hours. "Dad told me he was going to the spring court with Feyre and uncle Az to negotiate with Brandr". Brandr, the hell spawn of Tamlin and his wife. Brandr murdered his own father and mother years ago and had cast the spring court into dark times. I had never really met Tamlin's wife, but I saw her a few times at high lord and high lady meetings. The woman was skinny and fragile, looked like she would break any moment, but I think in some way she loved Tamlin, and I think in a way he had loved her too; it didn't stop me from pitting her though.  "He told me they were just going to talk G but there was something behind his voice, he was worried, and I didn't push it. If I had maybe they wouldn't have gone, maybe they would still be here and all this shit wouldn't be happening, it's all my fault."

"Lyla you know it's not anymore you fault than it is one of the twins. You know dad, once he has an idea in his head you can't talk him out of it. There was nothing you could do, nothing you could have done to change this."

"I will kill him for this, I'll kill them all"

"I'll gladly help you". At this her eyes opened and softened, she patted the spot next to her and I moved there, watching as the sun rose over the horizon. As a child Lyla would always get on my nerves. I was only just beginning to find my foot in the family, and she would always hide in crevices of the house, jumping on me when I least expected it. But even then, I knew that she would be my best friend, she loved to scheme with me and pull pranks on uncle Cass, especially when him and aunt Nesta would share a moment. I was tempted to go the spring court and obliterate the whole manor in a blink. I knew I could, I knew what I could do even before I inherited more power, but when I saw my parents on the floor, the new power rolling fresh in my veins oh, I almost demolished that whole pathetic court, but aunt Mor and Amren grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to deal with it after, to mourn my parents now. It took all they had to calm me down, but I did, and I couldn't be more thankful, because those moments, they are some I'll never forget, some of the most vulnerable but precious moments I'll keep close to my heart.

"I'll go with you though, I know what you want, I'll give it to you, just let me get him first, then you can take your time with him." I didn't mind the killing most times, at this point it came naturally but Lyla, she had a calling for it. She didn't enjoy it, I knew ever torture she inflicted on a prisoner over the years took something from her but she was damn good at it, better than I ever was or will be, and while my darkness flowed through my veins, hers is part of her heart. "I'm going to carve him up nice and slow, make him forget his own name." I grabbed her hand, not caring to be gentle with her and I stared into her eyes. "Take as long as you want Lyla, but it won't bring them back. Don't do this for them because you know it's not what they would have wanted. Do what you want I don't blame you for it, hell I'm two seconds from going there myself and blowing his head off but I know what this means for you." For Lyla, although she hid her emotions more than anyone I have met, I think she feels the deepest. "Take your revenge Lyla but you know what mom said, what dad said all the time."

"Darkness is simply a tool to be used and not a one to be controlled by" we said together, and I nodded, releasing my grip on her hand.

"How are you handling things?" she asked, voice soft again.

I clenched my jaw. "I'm handling it"

"Don't do this alone G, follow your own advice sometimes. Stop worrying about everyone else and think about yourself. You might be high lord now but that doesn't mean you have to do this alone. You have a family, you have me, our uncles and aunts, our cousins, our siblings.... We do this together, all of us." I nodded and although tears came to my eyes, they didn't spill. Lyla clenched her hands and a thin layer of frost coated them. One of the powers she got from mom.

For the longest time we thought the only powers Lyla had were water and a small bit of dad's power. But then all of a sudden after 40 years, she froze something and out came her third and final power. We were the only family in all of Prythian to have more than one power, to have a power other than what is customary to our court. When I was born, all I had was dad's power but when Lyla was born and it was discovered that she inherited more of mom's power than dads, the tension between the courts was immense. It was one thing to have Mom with their power, it was another to have it passed down the family line; it took several meetings but soon enough they all relaxed and excepted the situation. When Aella was born we learned quickly that she had some of dad's power too, more than Lyla but she preferred the small amount of moms' power better. Aella loved her healing power and was a powerful healer at that, respected far passed the borders of the night court. Cauldron know she and mom healed our wounds after missions one too many times. Embla didn't have dad's power at all, we found it strange since mom had it too and she was an heir of the night court, the darkness should be in her blood but she thrived on the days court spell cleaving power, and her spring court shape shifting power. She was personally trained by aunt Amren, more than the rest of us and on more than one occasion when she was upset, she would turn into a bird or a cat and walk away, pretending she didn't hear us. Oh, it sent my mother fuming when she did that, then dad would laugh, and mom would get mad at him.... I smiled at the memory. None of my younger siblings inherited mom's dark creatures. The creatures were the cost of stopping the rebellion over a thousand years ago but mom being stubborn and the woman she was learned how to use them like another power, like a second skin. They were useful in the Illyrian camps; I had seen her use them to get men in line more than once.

"Did you see the twins" I asked Lyla. She had an unusual soft spot for them. Would take them out shopping and would spoil them with gifts and chocolates until they passed out from the sugar rush. She nodded; I could tell it was all she could muster.

"I don't know how we're going to train them Lyla. Dad trained all of us, and mom to.... They had only just begun to tap into their powers."

She let out a long sigh and sat up, putting her arms behind her to support her weight. "With Theo, I don't think we'll have a problem training. Aella, you and I can all help the both of them with their dark powers. I can help Theo with his water powers; Embla can help Theo with his wind powers and Delia with her spell cleaving powers but G, I don't know anything about fire. Delia is the only one of us with the power and mom spend over 100 years learning how to control it herself. She was the one who was supposed to train her." That was worry in Lyla's eyes. The possibility that those two had to go through more pain then they already had was troublesome on its own. The twins had been born strong; they had the most range of powers out of all of us and while none of my siblings power reached my level, I knew what it was like to live with so much power and I would not let the twins go through it alone. Speaking of all this power made the ball inside me roll. Dad had taught me how to deal with it, how to slowly release it.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a large breath, releasing my power in a wave as I breathed out. I struggled against how much wanted to come out but when I opened my eyes again the itch inside me lessoned and I relaxed my shoulders. Lyla looked unfazed but she looked around, saw the grass that was flowing in the wind now stiff as my power rolled around us. After a couple seconds the wave disappeared, and the grass continued it frenzy dance with the wind once more. "Is it bothering you?" she said. And I met her eyes, it was the only answer she needed. "We'll figure that out to G, I know dad kept some of his theories somewhere, an emergency plan if something like this happened. You know dad, always thinking one step ahead, he wouldn't leave you to do this alone." My eyes widened; I never knew that he kept an emergency journal but knowing dad.... I wasn't surprised honestly.

"Uncle Az spent a lot of time with mom and dad while they trained her with her fire powers, he has to remember something. And if worse comes to shove, our relations with the autumn court right now are strong. As much as I hate Eris maybe we could ask if he could come and train her." She made a face at Eris's name but said nothing. Eris was a complicated topic in the family. We all know what he did to aunt Mor, the snake he is, but ever since he took the throne, he has been fair, his court has prospered and business deals with him have been strong. He was an alley as much as we all hated it. Eris however hasn't pulled anymore stunts and his marriage with his wife, arranged and loveless but she was a strong woman, not empty and hollow like his own mother was in the marriage. Eris may not feel anything for the woman other than her being the mother of his heirs, but he took care of her.... Something we were all baffled to see.

"do you remember" I began. "When it was Starfall, the year Embla was born?"

She laughed no doubt remembering.

"dad had thrown a lavish party in the manor but Aella was running around, knocking into people and ruining the decorations" she said continuing my story.

"And Embla wouldn't stop crying, the whole night was a disaster. But then they brought us up here, all of us. And the stars were especially close that night, we were attacked by the stars and by the time we got home we were covered in green sparkle goop."

She laughed. That was a good night, especially when Lyla and I went out after that and I met a particularly beautiful blond.

My sister's brunette hair was down for once, she let it flow behind her, merciless to the wind. All my sisters' had mom's brunette hair. "We should go home" she spoke quietly as if she didn't want to say it at all, but she was right; We had places to be and things to do. From here though, it could only get better, right?

"Yeah I guess so."

"Are you ready for it, for everything you'll have to face?"

"It's what I've been preparing for my whole life"

"That doesn't answer my question"

I paused.

"No, but that doesn't matter now, I have to be ready when I go home whether I like it or not."

She stood and let out a hand for me, I grabbed it and she hauled me up. We walked to the edge and although we could all winnow, I know we all preferred to fly, to feel our parents in the wind, to spend one more second in the sky rather than face reality. Our wings shot out of our back and with one final glance to the tombstones where my parents lay, I jumped into the sky.

It didn't take long to arrive, a swift wind current leading straight to the house like the mother put it there just for me. Lyla landed next to me on the patio and together we walked in the living room where my family waited. Uncle Cassian and aunt Nesta sat in the corner with their two children Marilla and Juno. Those two cousins.... Oh, we got into fun trouble over the years. It didn't matter what situation we got into; it was always those two who could talk us out of it. I don't know how they got us out of half of the things we got in to. Aunt Elain and uncle Azriel sat on the couch, their daughter Tana handing her mother a plate of food. She took after her dads' personality even if her love for dresses and flowers came from aunt Elain. It was Tana however that dad would send me on spy missions with; she had a way with shadows, not like her father but they seemed to protect her. She was shy to others, but once you knew her, she could make anyone laugh, especially me. Once during dinner, she said a comment that made my wine come out of my nose.

Mor was sitting on her mate's lap on one of the chairs, her black dress pooling around Hera. Mor had found her mate a little over 500 years ago and when she came out to us, I can't say I was all that surprised.

Amren was far away from everyone else, sitting on a windowsill as Varian massaged her feet. My sisters sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, talking among themselves, a plate of food at their feet but it seemed untouched. The twins were most likely asleep in their beds, they didn't need to be awake for this.

The energy in this room was weird to say the least. Uncle Cassian, always so strong and mighty, there was a light missing from his eyes. And uncle Az, his shadows whisked around him. He blames himself for what happened, despite all of our attempts to talk him out of it. He did what he could, they were ambushed, there were so many soldiers, mom was down before they even knew what was happening and uncle Az took injuries himself. Aunt Elain though, she blames herself for not seeing this with her seer powers. I don't know why she couldn't see it, and quite frankly, I didn't want to know. I just want to move forward.

My whole family stopped what they were doing upon my arrival though. As one they stood. As one they bowed on one knee, even Lyla and starred at me where I stood awkwardly in the entrance of the living room. As one they spoke:

"We are yours to use and loyal until death High lord Gawain"

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I can not believe that this story is finished. I honestly could lie and say I wrote this chapter in a day but I cant. it took a whole week for me to write this because every time I would start writing it i would cry and I needed it to be perfect. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for your support. I do have a new book out that takes place in the Night court so go make sure to check that out on my page.

I hope you guys love this ending,

xoxo,

-S

The end