Chapter 18

Later that night after I cried in Rhys arms, over my friend who died, I could not sleep. I laid in bed thinking about all the things I said to him. All the times I let my rage show. When was the last time I saw him? What was the last thing I said to him? What was his last memory of me? Rhys listened to all my worries and kissed them away before lulling me to sleep. I did, for about 5 minutes before I woke up and found myself unable to find sleep again.

I starred at the wood ceiling of the cabin in the room Rhys and I shared. The rest of the family in their own rooms. Gawain in his crib next to our bed. I counted every crack in the roof, in the walls, and when I was done, I starred at my two favorite boys, sleeping. That was before G began to awake with a vicious cry that began to stir those in the house. Rhys eyes fluttered open and I kissed the top of his head before he sat up. "I got him" "again?" He murmured. Voice deep, raspy and sleepy. I smiled as I began to climb out of bed. "Mhmm. I'll take him for some fresh air." "Be careful." "Mother hen" I said but I sent a feeling of love down the bond which sent him purring.

I slung on my winter coat and boots and grabbed an extra blanket, wrapping it around G. He began kicking in my arms in excitement and I smiled, drowning him in kisses as I stepped out the front door. I took one step before I saw Elain sitting out here by herself on the bench.

She looked up at me in surprise as if she had been caught in her own world to notice me coming and wiped her tears from her face. "Hey" she croaked out. "Hey" I replied. G continued to laugh as if the night sky, so close out here in the camps, called to him. I walked up to where Elain was sitting. "can I sit?" She nodded. "Are you ok?" She didn't reply. I let her take her time. Decide if she wanted to answer.

I looked at our surroundings. The Illyrian camp was quiet, peaceful, with no one around. It seemed even Illyrians could sleep. But the more I looked the more I saw the hidden Illyrians on patrol. I snorted at the fact that I didn't see them at first glance and threw up a sound barrier around us to give Elain privacy. After what felt like hours, my joints frozen, rocking G to give me some sense of movement in my bones, Elain responded.

"You know what's worse than anything?" She said. "That I feel free." She said and began to sob again. "I mean.... what kind of a heartless monster do I need to be to feel free over my mate's death?" "Elain...." "it's just...I just" I nodded in understanding and she leaned into my shoulder letting out more tears. We stayed like that for a little before she stood up. "I'm sorry Feyre I shouldn't have bothered you about this." "Elain you could never be a bother. Besides, we couldn't sleep anyways." I said motioning to G. I didn't tell her why though. "I think I'm going to go back to bed she mumbled. "Good night" I called to her as she stepped into the house and closed the door softly behind her. I stayed outside with G for a little while longer before Rhys called me down the bond to come back to bed. I complied.

The next morning was a blur as we skipped breakfast entirely. Elain and Nesta promised to watch over G while we went hunting for the dark creatures. The five of us were on our way to the edge of the woods before Cassian growled and turned around starring at the training ring filled with shirtless Illyrians.

Devlon stood at the edge and looked like he might want to kill someone then deal with Cassian right now who was indeed storming up to him. "The girls?" He forced out. "Doing their chores. They practice after." "That's not what we agreed on. That's not what your high lord commanded." Indeed, while Rhys had a face of calm, I could see underneath that mask that he always put on, and he was pissed.

"I'll make you a deal. If Feyre can beat one of my advisers in the ring, I'll let them train whenever they want, no chores for a month." It was a tease. They knew I couldn't beat any of them, even with Cass's training. They all growled. I could tell the debate that was about to erupt so I stepped in. "Fine." Everyone turned on me but devlon's eyes crinkled with amusement.

Feyre, you don't have to do this, I can just command him

I know, but that won't earn any respect. And caldron knows after the whole rebel groups after the war we need respect from them.

Very well.

You think I can beat him?

A smirk from him.

I know you can

I walked to the edge of the ring and began to take off some of my layers leaving me in my fighting leathers. I stretched my arms and legs as one of devlon's advisors stepped on the other side and began doing to same.

"One rule." Devlon said. "No magic." I tensed. They knew I was out of shape those bastards knew it and so did my family. They tried not to look worried, but I knew them well enough. I nodded to Cassian who pointed to his head. Telling me that I was smarter than my opponent. This was payback for yesterday. To see if I could actually follow through on my threat. For my family I would do this. For my title. For my city I loved so much. For G.

I went into fighting stance and he struck first. A swing to my right as he kicked with his left. I rolled and dodged him easily enough. The Illyrians cheered for my opponent. It sounded as if they were saying Nicholas. That was his name then, so be it. Before Nicholas could strike again, I went for his thigh to make him unbalanced, but he was expecting that. He grabbed my leg and flipped me on my side. His arm came up and before he could bring it down on my face, I kicked him in the middle of his legs and rolled to the side, quickly getting up again. We both were in fighting position again, circling each other in the ring.

"I need to say, your better than I expected, for a girl." My blood boiled, but that is what he wanted. Anger made you sloppy. Anger made you beatable. I plastered a smooth smirk on my face and thanked him. This made him upset and he struck again. It was minutes on the ring, us exchanging blows and dodging them. "Last night I wondered if you really could deliver on your threat. It seems as if I'll collect my debt since you can barely keep up." My family and I growled. I tried to disable him again, kicking high and punching low but he saw it coming. The bastard saw it coming.

He grabbed me by my throat and punched me across the face, then continued to kick me in the stomach and throw me across the ring. I panted and spit on the ground. Blood splattering across the ground. Nicholas laughed and so did all the Illyrian's. "You should send that boy of yours here. We'll show him true strength."

In the corner of my eye I saw Rhys take a step forward. At the threat made at our son, and my state. I knew he would mist him, and that would not go well with the rest of them. I needed to win this fair and square. Rhys took another step but before I could tell him to stop Cassian threw out a hand and grabbed his arm. Stopping him. He shook his head and turned to me. Eyes flaming. Like they did that day he rescued me in the ice. I could beat him.

I struggled to get up and rushed to Nicholas, faster than he detected and tackled him. It took all my strength, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and punched him across the face before grabbing his throat and bringing my mouth to his ear as he thrashed around. That was true panic in his eyes. "The next time you threaten me. The next time you threaten my family. The next time you threaten MY SON- "I made sure to spit in his face. "I will splatter you across the walls. And that is if my family does not do it first." I elbowed him in the temple, knocking him out and struggled to stand. I felt more than saw the blood on my face.

The Illyrians were quiet as I stood as straight as my back allowed. I stared them all down, holding their gazes, Devlon's the longest and walked off the ring. My family following me, except for Rhys. "Threaten my mate again and I will be the last of your problems Devlon." And caught up to my side, none of us looking back. The minute we were covered by the woods I let my shoulders slump and let Rhys caress my face.

Next time they lay a finger in you I won't hesitate to mist them

I held myself fine

That's not the point. And you know it.

A pause

I'm proud of you

Me kissed my head and took the lead with Amren who only gave me a nod. Mor quickly squeezed my arm and passed us as Cassian walked up to me. I stared into his eyes. I didn't need his approval. I didn't want it. I know he would have been proud of me even if I lost but the smile on his face as he hugged me in a bone crushing hug was more than enough to bring tears to my eyes. "I didn't think I could beat him." I whispered. "I know. But I believed. Never fail to impress high lady." I scoffed and pulled out of his embrace as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Let's go find these little bitches." He said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I'm currently dying in bed with the flu rn and decided to write this little thing so happy Sunday everyone. What do you all think?Xoxo-S