24. Falling

"What if I'm down? What if I'm out?What if I'm someone you won't talk about?I'm falling again, I'm falling again. I'm falling.And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again."- Falling by Harry Styles

•••

If you love someone, let them go.

Leaning on the the frame of bedroom door, a pair of eyes followed every movement of a tall man with white skin who was packing his things up.

The day almost came. On Monday, Win would fly abroad for workshop, reading sessions, and filming a movie. He decided to spend this weekend with his family at home. That meant, today was the last day he was with Bright before his departure.

Bright did not want to make this day like a farewell because it was not. He went out with Win this morning to have breakfast. He cooked for the younger man for lunch, and ordered him food for dinner. Even though Bright intended not to make today special, he surely did not let Win to take care of him. Bright was the one to do that.

"I will leave my toiletries here."

Bright nodded.

"I'm finished packing."

Bright nodded again.

Win stared at the man who seemed to keep his distance from Win since Win started packing up after dinner. He recalled their memories that made him understand his man better.

"This is the first time I want to make someone my possession. I want to spend more time with this particular person. When I am alone, he is the only one I allow to be by my side."

Bright stared back at Win for a moment and looked away immediately. "If you have finished, then take care. Be careful on your way home." Bright turned his back on Win, got into his bedroom.

Win smiled. He silently followed Bright. The man was standing near the bed, scrolling his phone screen up and down hastily, without purpose. Win took a deep breath. "P'Bright..." He called his Phi with his second voice. He put his chin on Bright's shoulder. "Please look at me before I go. I'm sad if you are avoiding me like this."

"I am not avoiding you." Bright replied shortly, but his attention was still on his phone. It was the way he distracted his mind and feeling.

Win lifted his chin right away. The view of Bright's back, the wide shoulder that had always been the place to his head leaning on, the arms which were bigger than his that always hugged him tight, all made his breath heavy. Win did not want to leave this man, too.

Bright stopped his fingers from scrolling the phone screen. He realized that the room was quiet. He turned his back immediately when he faintly heard the sound of someone sobbing.

Win was there, stopped making crying sound, and smiled widely. Before Bright escaped from him again, Win stepped forward, his arms surrounded Bright's neck. He leaned in as close as possible. "You finally look at me."

"How cruel can you be toward me?" Bright complained.

"Whatever to get your attention." Win hugged Bright tightly. He did not care if Bright did not hug him back. He wanted to comfort this man.

At the time Win felt two arms wrapping his waist, the table turned. Now, Win was the one being comforted. He was fearful about Bright. If it was true that Win was the only person Bright showing the defenseless side of him, he wondered what Bright would be when Win was not there. "I want you to stay healthy, get enough rest, not drinking with your friends too often when I am not here."

"Umm."

"I'll be back soon, you won't even feel it and I will be already here with you again." Win tightened his hug.

"Umm." Bright nodded. "You have to worry about yourself, Ai Win."

Win shook his head. "I don't want to let you go."

Bright stared blankly at the distance. What was Bright afraid of from the separation? Win treasured him and the feeling was mutual. It was just 3 to 4 months of meeting irregularly. They would meet again soon. What was the problem with Bright? He asked himself.

Slowly, Bright loosened his arms. It was time to let Win go.

Win held his breath when he knew Bright was releasing him.

Bright grabbed Win's arms who were still enveloping him, unfolded them. "You have to go now, Ai Win. Don't go too late." Bright broke the hug. "Your family is waiting for you."

Win smiled. He went out of the room, followed by Bright who stopped at the bedroom door.

Win took his bag and turned his head to look at Bright once again. "I'm going home na."

"Umm. Take care."

Win opened the front door slowly and paused before he stepped out. Without looking back at Bright, he said, "Whatever happened, Phi, you know I am always on your side. If you feel like you're gonna fall apart, please wait for me. I promise, I will fall apart with you."

Bright was about to reply Win, but Win already closed the door from outside. Bright pressed his forehead to the door. He did not expect the last night together before Win going abroad would be this sentimental.

"What the f*ck did you do, Ai Bright? You just made him worry more about you!" He hit his own head, blaming himself. He threw his body to the bed. His brain worked hard to find a solution and he ended up with unusual way.

•

On Monday, the news about Win going abroad for filming a movie was all over the media. The reporters interviewed him in the airport before he going in.

"It's not like I will be there for long khrab. I will still come back to do my job here. It will be like that for 3 or 4 months ahead. So, don't say goodbye to me na khrab."

A group of men who were watching Win's interview from big television screen in the free area was amazed.

"He really is leaving." Tay commented.

"Umm. He is."

Tay almost jump when he realized who was answering him. "AI BRIGHT?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"Huh? Why can't I?"

"AI WIN IS LEAVING!"

"I know. We are watching the news now."

Guy was confused, too. "Why don't you go to the airport with him?"

"He is with his family." Bright reasoned. "Not to mention, those reporters."

Guy and Tay nodded. They did not think Bright would be so calm. They doubted it, but Bright's emotionless face shut them up.

"Are you really ok, Nong?" Toy who just came and heard the end of their conversation, teased Bright. "Are you ok?"

"I'm ok."

"How about him?" Toy asked again. "Is he ok, too?" Toy pointed at Win who was still showed in the television screen.

Bright knitted his forehead while his lips shaping a small pout. He observed Win on the television screen for a moment, then giggled, making people around him curious with his answer.

"No worries. He is great."

•

The plane had not taken off yet, but Win who sat close to the window, already plugged his earphone in. His manager only shook her head, thinking that this man was sad because he had to leave his boyfriend alone.

As the representative of GTV, Day needed to go with Win and team. He was the first GTV actor who would play in C movie. When Day found Win staring at the window with a slight smile on his face, she thought this young man was weird and left him alone.

In fact, Win was busy replaying a voice note that Bright sent to him 3 days ago.

"Ai Win, can you hear me? Listen. I'm ok, don't worry about me. Remember that you have to take care of your health well. If you do that, I will take care, too. Umm... what else? Well, I won't tell you that I love you because you know I do, right? That's it. That's what I want to tell you."

Win curved a wide smile. It was unstoppable. He imagined what kind of face that Bright made when he recorded it. He chuckled to himself. "His face must be so red up to his ears."

•••

I can imagine how this story will end, so welcome to the beginning of the last conflict! *clapping hands*

How many conflict are there already? I forget :') I'm sorry for making you confused along the way na kha.

Please don't hate me and leave some comments. Please kindly vote for me, too 🎉

Thank you.

With love,

dedededeva 💋