Epilogue

Life had settled into a new rhythm, one Spencer had yet grown accustomed to. Things had morphed into a kind of normal that did not make sense. Everything had gone back to before the Cullens had left, but nothing was in the right place. Like they had stepped into a confusing alternate universe.

Spencer's life revolved around the hospital and her home. Nothing different than what it had been for the past year. Yet, it wasn't the same as when she had come back to La Push. She saw Carlisle every day at work, it was inevitable. But she didn't spend her leisure time in his office; she didn't call him when she couldn't sleep, she didn't spend the night in the bed he had bought for her at his house, she didn't talk to him about her most recent read. He was involved in a big part of her life, but not in the way he was meant to be.

And with the hurt she carried for Carlisle, she carried more for Sam and Paul. She didn't feel she had the strength to fix things with them just yet—or she just wanted them to try harder to beg for her forgiveness. Being the bigger person had only brought her heartache and pain. It was someone else's turn to bear that burden.

But there was a silver lining in all of the chaos.

"How does it feel to not have a summer break for the first time?" Eden teased as they got ready for another long day ahead. "Did it finally settle in that you're a full-fledged medical student with very little life?"

"I've never really had a summer break," she shrugged. "I've always been from internship to internship since high school. I thought you knew I'm not like other girls."

"Ooh, that was bad," he grimaced. "Are we in a cringy teenage movie?"

"It's true, though," Spencer grinned as she draped her stethoscope around her neck. "I'm used to not having enough free time to breathe. It seems to be how I thrive the most."

"Then you definitely chose the right career path," the man chuckled. "Though I do believe it is more than necessary for you to have normal teenage experiences. Like getting illegally hammered, for example—not that I would ever suggest that."

"Already done that, and I don't really want to try it again."

Eden stopped them in their tracks with an astonishing, surprised look on his face. "there's still a lot I don't know about you," he said. "Wouldn't have taken you for an underage drinker."

"Well, the last ten months were quite the lifetime," she sighed. "I've had enough experiences recently. I just want to focus on the hospital and my next exams."

"I will say you're a lot more committed than half of the people I studied with," Eden smiled. "But just promise you'll at least take some time to focus on your friends and family. You're gonna need them when things get harder."

As far as she felt from the man she was ready to give her life to, she was straying farther from her brother and her best friend. Sure, she was busy. Between work at the hospital and studying, Spencer had only a bit of time left for herself, and she didn't want to waste it fighting with them and pushing them away. Yet, she was tired of being the person that got screwed over, and she'd be the one to apologize.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Might have to expand my circle then."

"Well, you know I'm always here, and it just so happens I've already gone through all of this before and can help you."

"Aren't I lucky?" Spencer grinned. "Although you did just suggest I get drunk as an underage adult, so I'd have to question your judgment there."

"Hey, you're the one who said when's already done it. I was just..." His words died in his mouth as their steps halted. Carlisle stood in their way, his signature smile stretching the corners of his mouth. "Dr. Cullen."

"Dr. Mollins," the man nodded in acknowledgment. "Dr. Uley, good morning."

"Good morning."

His gaze softened for the split second he focused on Spencer, but his mask slipped on when he turned toward Eden. "I assume you're ready to relinquish Dr. Uley to my tutelage today," he said. "I thought I'd have her status reports in my office this morning, but I was surprised to see they weren't there."

"I was on my way to get them to you," Eden replied with a forced smile. He handed over the file he had in his hands, reluctant to pass over Spencer's schooling to the man. "Guess you beat me to it."

"Well, I do expect matters as important as this to be handled with their due diligence, but I guess I can't expect everyone to work like me," Carlisle shrugged. Eden set off to answer, but the vampire cut him to the chase. "Regardless of this small setback, we are still thankfully on schedule to start your general surgery rotation, Dr. Uley."

"You could say that," Spencer muttered, unable to stand the blatant competition between the men. "I'll see you later, Eden."

"Yeah," he said. "See you around."

Once the younger doctor was out of sight, she pulled Carlisle to a secluded corner. The hospital wasn't big, and there weren't many places they could be alone in. But Spencer needed to talk to the man before she burst. "Let's get one thing straight, Carlisle," she whispered, "this whole show needs to stop."

"I can't say I know what you're speaking of, Spencer."

"Don't play stupid with me. It doesn't suit you," she scoffed. "You need to drop the superiority thing with Eden. He doesn't deserve your passive aggressiveness, and you know it. The only thing you should be focusing on is teaching me medicine—that's the extent of our relationship."

"It's not something I can just turn off, Spencer," Carlisle muttered, his eyes softening as they fell on hers. "I can't help how I feel about you."

"Then channel whatever you did in September last year and get it together," she instructed. "I can't go through this every single day. Eden is my friend. You're my boss."

"If that's what you want," he sighed, "then alright."

Spencer was surprised at the quick surrender. Maybe a part of her wanted him to fight a bit more, but she could admit she was relieved at his acceptance. In order to finally move on, she needed to decenter Carlisle from her heart, and she'd already started to take steps toward that end. "Thank you," she said with a pleased smile. "Now, general surgery. Let's get started, huh?"

Everything was good.

At least, it seemed to not be getting worse.

Carlisle had kept to his word—though it was hard not to when he never seemed to cross Eden's path. He would do just about anything to avoid his subordinate. And as frustrating as it could be for other co-workers, Spencer couldn't be more grateful that her work life had become bearable.

At home, on the other hand, she still lived in a battle with herself. No matter how many days passed, no one seemed to wave a white flag, and Allison Uley had started to notice.

"Honey, is everything okay with you and your brother?" the woman asked, forcing her daughter's sight away from her reading. "I mean, I know I'm at odds with him still, but you two were doing good."

"We had a fight," Spencer said as she put down her book. "And I'm tired of being the one to apologize for everything."

Allison studied her daughter's face, trying to find in her eyes the words she wasn't saying. "What was the fight about?" the woman inquired, sitting next to the girl on the couch. "I just don't see what could have gotten between you two after all this time... Was it about the doctor coming back?"

Spencer stiffened at the mention of the man, knowing her mother meant no ill will talking about him. The secrets that lingered between them made it impossible to be honest. As much as she wanted to crawl into her mother's arms and cry about all the problems that weighed on her mind, she could not do so without exposing the supernatural and possibly putting her in danger. And the worst part for the girl was watching the pain in her mother's eyes as she continued to push her away.

"It has nothing to do with Carlisle, mom," Spencer sighed. "I just don't want to be the bigger person anymore. I should be allowed to be angry and ignore him if I want to. He should act like the big brother and apologize instead of making things my fault."

"Have you given him a chance to apologize, though?" Allison asked, knowing to play devil's advocate with her children. "I haven't seen you leave this house for anything other than the hospital."

"And why can't he come here? He knows where I live," she pouted. "It's not like I'm the one that moved out."

"Well, you did for four years."

"Mom!" Spencer complained, trying to bite back a laugh just like her mother was. "That's different. He's basically down the road. If he really wanted to apologize, he could sneak in like he used to do when we were kids."

"So, you guys did sneak out when you were little," the woman grinned. "I thought you said there were raccoons living in our yard."

"Oh, well... you see."

"Honey, I always knew it was you two," she smiled, wrapping an arm around Spencer's shoulders. "You weren't good at lying back then."

"Mom..."

"I know it comes with the motherhood territory. At some point, your kids grow, and they don't need you as much anymore, and it's easier for them to keep things to themselves than tell you," Allison said sadly. Her voice wavered as she spoke, making Spencer's chest wrench tightly. "I guess I just don't want you to get to the point where you leave and never speak to me again. I can feel your brother getting further and further away, and there's nothing I can do about it. With you, I can only hope it hasn't gotten to that point."

"If only she knew," was all Spencer could think as she hugged Allison. Months before, she would have made that decision without giving it another thought. The soft sound of her mother's sniffles shattered her, and she couldn't help but remember Carlisle's cutting words. If she had gone with him, she would have become another person in her life who abandoned and disappointed her.

And for what seemed like the first time, she was grateful for Carlisle's betrayal. At that moment, she had been okay with leaving her mother behind, but she couldn't be sure she wouldn't have regretted the decision after or even grown to resent Carlisle and even herself.

"That's not gonna happen, mom," she cried, finding tears falling down her cheeks as she parted from the hug. "I'm nowhere near being a grown-up. I still need you."

"Well, you always have me, honey," Allison sniffled. "Always."

As Spencer opened her mouth to respond, a knock on the door startled them apart. They knew neither of them were expecting visitors. Allison got up from the couch, sending her daughter a questioning glance before opening the front entrance. "Sam," she exclaimed in surprise. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Spence," he answered. "Been a while since I've seen her."

"Yeah," the woman chuckled. "We were just talking about that. H-how have you been?"

"Uh, you know, I've been good," Sam stammered. "Been busy."

"Right, of course," Allison smiled. "Well, uh, send Emily my regards. I'll get your sister. It's good to see you, son."

"It's good to see you, too, mom," he said, a sad smile stretching across his face. Sam could see the pain his distance was creating, and he knew he could grant himself the same compassion he offered Embry. But just like the boy, Sam knew that bringing his mother into the light would only hurt her in the long run, and he couldn't put her in danger when there were bloodsuckers around.

Allison disappeared into the house, squeezing Spencer's arm in support as they passed each other. As much as she wanted to exchange more words with her son, she knew it was not her moment. And even if she lost Sam for the rest of time, she wanted her kids to always have each other.

"What do you need, Sam?" Spencer sighed, crossing her arms across her chest and sitting by his side on the stoop.

"I didn't come to fight, Spence," he said. "I just came to talk."

"Go ahead, then. Talk."

Sam ran his hands across his face in frustration, trying his best to keep his feelings in check. His sister was angry, and for good reason, but he couldn't help the explosion that was building inside him. "I just... I messed up, Bean," he started. "I know I had no business throwing out those letters and trying to intervene in your life that way. But you have to know I was doing what I thought I had to in order to protect you. When the letters started coming, I had no idea who was sending them. All I knew was that they started arriving at the house, and they reeked of vampire, and I couldn't know they meant no harm to you."

"And you never thought to ask me, Sam?" Spencer asked. "During the time I was getting those letters, you never thought to ask me if I knew the person sending them?"

"Even if you did, it wouldn't stop them from being a leech," he said. "When I first turned, I had no idea what was happening to me. I didn't even know how to turn back on my own. I mean, I spent two weeks in the woods as a wolf until one day, I eventually calmed down enough in my sleep to change back. If Old Quil hadn't come to visit mom, I would have probably grown to think I was dying. After I learned the truth, I understood just how important this job is. It's not about distinguishing which vampire is good or bad; it's about protecting humans from them—before something happens. "Imagine being me for just one second," Sam continued, his voice steadying as time passed and his anger dissolving as he watched his sister digest his words. "Imagine being told about these creatures that could end a human's life in a matter of seconds. A creature that only has two known predators in this world—you and themselves. Then, your sister, who is hours away from your protection, starts receiving letters that are drenched in the smell of one of those creatures. All I could think of was keeping you safe, Spence. If there's anything you take from this, it's that I wanted to keep you safe."

And, of course, she understood. How could she not? Sam was doing everything in his power to protect her—protect everyone. When it all started, he thought he was alone in the world. The only Quileute who had been given the task of shielding humans from the dangerous creatures who lived in their backyard and his own sister was being targeted by one. He must have been terrified. If she was honest, he probably still was.

"I'm sorry for taking the letters, Spencer," he sighed at her silence, not knowing that was exactly what she had been waiting for. "But I'm not sorry for trying to protect you. I will never apologize for what I have to do to keep you safe."

"I'm sorry, too, for what is worth," Spencer croaked, trying her best to keep her tears at bay. "I could never imagine what you could have gone through these past few years. When I found out all of this was real, I couldn't fathom any of it being real, and I'm as normal as they come. Learning that it's your job to protect everyone from things you didn't know existed until you turned into a gigantic dog? That would have probably sent me down a spiral I would still be in. I understand you did what you thought you had to do; I just hate that you didn't tell me after."

"I know. I just didn't know how much they would mean to you until after everything went down."

"In other words, you were hoping I never found out," she said. "Did you read them? O-or keep them?"

"No," Sam admitted. "Emily tried to make me keep the last ones, but I couldn't—not after I'd gotten rid of all the other ones."

"And Paul? How does he fit into any of this?"

"After you left, he would come over every week just to chat with mom," he said. "Once I met Emily and moved in with her, it started getting harder and harder for me to drop by the house unannounced, even more to be ruffling through our mail. So, when Paul shifted, one of the normal things he kept doing was coming through here every Wednesday after the mailman did his deliveries. He'd chat up mom for a bit, then slip the letter if he found one. It didn't really take much convincing him when I told him it was to keep you safe."

Slowly but surely, the knot in Spencer's chest loosened. She understood her brother's intentions. As much as they had hurt her, they had come from a good place. It didn't make him or Paul a bad person. They just made a bad decision. And who was she to be the judge of bad decisions? She had made so many herself and had no space to chastise others who made them as well.

"I never meant to hurt you, Bean," Sam sniffled. "I-I truly thought I was doing the right thing."

"I know," Spencer conceded with a smile, resting her head on his shoulder. "It hurt, but I can understand why you did it. We've spent enough time brewing in our anger. It's time to just get back to each other. I need my big brother."

"I'll always be here for you, Bean. Even when you're pissed at me and will only talk to my fiancé," he chuckled, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his embrace. "That one hurt, not gonna lie."

"Yeah, it was meant to sting," she laughed. "Needed to make sure you knew you screwed up."

"Oh, I knew. Emily wouldn't let me forget," Sam joined in her laughter. "You know, in this whole deal, I haven't asked you how you've been with everything—with them."

"I've been fine, I guess," she shrugged. "Haven't really seen the family since I came back, and I've learned to cope with working alongside Carlisle. Well, I've had help with the latter."

"Would Eden have anything to do with that?"

"What is with this weird obsession everyone has with Eden now?" she exclaimed jokingly. "I'll have you know he's just a friend."

"Yeah, friends don't look at friends like he did that day at the hospital."

"What're you talking about?"

"The day Harry died, right before you left, Eden came out to the waiting area," he said. "Not many would notice, but I could see it. The bright glint in his eyes—the shimmer of love. Then, he showed up at the funeral, and the person he was most worried about was you."

"I mean, I was the only person he would know there."

"You can try and rationalize it all you want, Spence, but I know what I saw in him," Sam muttered. "And I know what I see in you, too. You're allowed to pass the page, kid."

"I know, and I-I'm trying," she sighed. "But it's hard when..."

"Just because there is love in your heart for someone else doesn't mean you can't find space for someone new," he said. "You can allow yourself to open up to Eden, even when you're still in love with Carlisle."

"I know," she smiled defeatedly. "And I want to. Just need to figure out how."

"Well, I can help you with that," Sam grinned. "What's next, Dr. Uley?"

It had been a long and exhausting day at the hospital. Going from patient to patient while staying on top of a system that thrived under being outdated. From paper files to slow computers, it kept everyone on their toes to try and be the most efficient personnel to their patients. But they worked. Every single person was an essential piece to the oiled machine that was the hospital.

Spencer was just one of those parts, and she worked hard at her job. At least at learning everything well enough to one day make it a permanent one. But there were other aspects of her life she needed to invest in. She couldn't give her everything only to the hospital.

There would always be Carlisle, that much she knew. He was an ever-present presence she would never get rid of, and she had started to make peace with that. She could see him as her superior, as a brilliant mind she could learn from, as a doctor she could one day grow to emulate. Yet, that was all she could allow him to be. For the sake of her heart and her healing, Carlisle couldn't be anything more than a doctor she admired.

"You did well today," the doctor said as they removed their surgical gowns. "How did it feel to perform your first real surgery?"

"Is it bad that I'm shaking now?" Spencer chuckled. "I know I was only retracting an abdomen and cutting sutures, but still, it was one of the most exciting things I've ever done."

"It only gets better from here," Carlisle smiled. "One day, you'll be the one leading the surgery."

"That's the dream," she said. "Still a bit far from that, but I'll get there."

"I know you will," he muttered. "You're a very talented doctor, Spencer. I know you will be able to accomplish everything you set your mind to."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Spencer smiled, allowing herself a glance into his eyes and melting into the endless stream of gold that formed his irises. "It means a lot to me that you say that. You're a great doctor, and I hope I can one day emulate that."

In their silence, Carlisle took a step toward her, closing the short distance that lived between them. His closeness thickened the air around them, stealing the oxygen from her lungs. The coldness of his body was familiar and pulled her in with a magnetism she didn't know if she had the strength to fight. His fingers took hold of a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear, forgetting all semblance of professionalism in the privacy of the surgical suite. Everything around them stopped, freezing them in the moment—a moment that wasn't entirely theirs.

Seconds felt like hours, and their bodies gravitated toward the other. Their minds had ceased to work, every hurtful word and painful memory dissipating into the air, every resolution and agreement forgotten. Their hearts decided their movements, pulling taut the invisible thread that still connected them. All they needed was a second more...

"Sorry," someone cleared their throat, startling them apart. "I was told the suite was empty. I was asked to clean up."

"It's quite alright, Dr. Mollins," Carlisle said, straightening out his scrubs. "We're just about done here. I know nurse Dalen is out today."

"I'll come back in a few minutes, then," Eden said. "Give you two some privacy."

"Eden, wait..." But before she could finish, the man had left her with Carlisle, making her heart hammer against her chest. "I'm gonna go on break now."

"Spencer..."

"Thanks for the lesson," she muttered. "I'm glad surgery went well."

Between her lunch break and other patients, Spencer wasn't able to steal Eden away to explain what happened—or what hadn't happened. It had been a moment of weakness, an easy slip into a time where everything was easy and natural. A second she didn't want to mean anything, even when her heart knew it was everything. She had to pass the page. As glued as she was to it, she needed to start a new chapter.

It was a long and hard day at the hospital, but Spencer knew Eden's schedule like the back of her hand. He was working a double shift, and he wouldn't be gone until the late hours of the night. She knew she needed to rectify her course, and she needed to do it before she lost the chance to. It was time for a fresh start, even if she had to force it.

Spencer searched the entire hospital for Eden before finally finding him in an empty office, his head buried in his laptop. Files were spread around him on the floor, his eyes diverting from the papers to his computer. He was distracted enough that she was able to slip into the room and close the door behind her.

"Hey," Eden smiled softly, wiping his nose nervously. "I thought you'd gone home already."

"I was supposed to," she said, taking a seat beside him. "But I had to find you first."

"Can't go a day without saying goodbye?"

"You know why."

"You don't have to explain anything, Spencer," he said, placing his laptop on the floor and clasping his hands on his lap. "Whatever happened is between you two. You don't owe me anything. I'm just sorry for interrupting."

"I know I don't have to, but I do want you to know that nothing happened," Spencer explained as she tried to win his gaze. "I'm glad you walked in when you did. I can't be sure what would have happened if you hadn't, but I don't want to think about that."

A bigger smile crept onto his tired face, his eyes finally finding hers. "Alright then," he said. "What do you want to think about?"

"I want to think about a fresh start," she breathed. "I want to think about medicine and patients. I want to think about new life experiences. I want to think about anything but the past and all that it cost me."

"Does that mean you're finally on board for some new experiences?" Eden chuckled.

"In a sense," she smiled. "I'm opening up to the idea."

"Well, I've had a long list of things to do down here, and I haven't been able to do a single one since moving," he said. "Maybe you can start with those."

"Of course you'd have a summer bucket list," she teased. "Are you sure you want me to have new experiences, or do you just want an excuse to act childish?"

"There is nothing wrong with making lists," Eden laughed. "I just like to be organized."

"I never said there was anything wrong with that," Spencer added. "I wouldn't hate taking a look at that list."

"You really wanna look at it?"

"Well, I do have an idea."

"What would that be?"

Spencer was filled with courage at that moment. Everything she had gone through in the past months had led her there, building new paths and roads for different futures. She could no longer be defined by the person she had been before, forgiving herself for any wrong choices she could have made. Meeting the Cullens was a chaotic collision she had not prepared herself for and had set off a domino effect that she had no control over. But over time, Spencer learned she didn't have to hold the reigns of everything. All that mattered were the decisions she made from that point forward. So, with a warm smile, she mustered all the sincerity she could and said, "Go on a date with me."

THE END

Spencer and Carlisle will be back...