Joshua's Way

*"New York streets where killers'll walk like Pistol PeteAnd Pappy Mason, gave the young boys admirationPrince from Queens and Fritz from HarlemStreet legends, the drugs kept the hood from starvin'...Pushin' cars, Nicky Barnes was the 70'sBut there's a long list of high-profile celebrities."_Nas- Get Down*

Eyes of Joshua:

We pulled up to the docks in an all black Suburban around 9 sharp..Quan drove I sat passenger.. Nutty & Jonesy was right behind in the back seat..

"Ight I need this to go smooth, I don't want no mess.. get the shipment and be out!"I said looking back and over at Quan..It was a risk moving this kind of weight through the docks to our garage in Queens but it had to be done and we didn't trust anybody else to do it except us four.."Everybody strapped right?"They all nodded.."Ight this our first time workin' with these Italians mofuckas so we gotta be smart.. Quan if shit go down be ready to duck and punch it"

"On it."He said gripping the wheel..But something just felt off..We used to cop from the Haitians but ever since they mans went down they ain't been trusting to branch out with no New York or Jersey niggas so we didn't have a chose..One Mercedes pulled up from the distance..They pulled in the distance and turned off all the lights to the car..

"Sonny sunin' don't seem right"Jonesy said looking out the window clutching his piece..

"Yeah I feel that erie shit goin' on too but fuck it we just get to bussin' an dip out if shit go down."Nutty said as we all nodded in agreement..

"These Italians on some funny style shit why the shipment ain't hea'.. I don't see shit but empty docks and a old ass white Mercedes kid."Quan said as I shook my head.Something was definitely off..

My phone rang from a unknown number..I looked around and they shrugged..I hesitated but picked up..I cleared my voice.."Johnson's Alley pizza & wing delivery services, what can we get for you.."

There was silence then loud laughter on the other end..I squinted at the phone and put it on speaker.."You know what, if I didn't have this whole dock on surveillance cameras for a spilt second I would have really thought you were the pizza man.. you know what that made me laugh and since I'm in a great mood I'll cut yous moolies a deal.. I don't work with docks anymore it's way too risky you guys want the work my people will flash their headlights three times.. exchange the cash and this u-haul that's pulling up beside you now will be yours fully gassed up, figure out how you wanna get it out of here.. from now on if you want work from me we'll use that truck.. don't worry about anything else I'll take care of the politics.. we have a deal?"

I looked around at my boys and they all nodded as if to say let's just see where this goes..But I knew we just needed this last shipment to come up on this last couple million's so we could fully go clean and fully focus on our record label..

"Word is bond..."I said leaving it at that..

"HA! HA! HA!... I like you, we gotta do business more often kid you're quick on your feet, yous move smart and I like that.. hopefully I'll be hearing from you soon."With that being said he hung up and beyond our doubts everything went smoothly..I decided to drive the work back to Queens alone and have them meet me there at our spot..See I was a different type of nigga, I had a different frame of mind.. The way I seen it is if some shit popped off it would all fall back on me..I knew I had a support system in them to hold my baby girl down.. but I couldn't have my boys take the fall.. they never knew I felt that way or seen things like that and if they did they would smooth clean cuss me out which is why I made up some other shit as to why I wanted to take the work instead..Them niggas are way too loyal to me they'd do 100 years if it meant not ratting and coming between what we built.. But I'm a different type of head honcho and like I said my loyalty was a tad bit deeper than having my niggas take the fall for me.. That there concept has always been wack to me. But needless to say the man above must have a good one on my side cause we made it back to our building in Queens untouched and in one..

Once all our workers got the work and it was out on the streets I wanted to talk to my boys before we went back to Harlem about where we go from here..

"So as y'all know this gone be our last shipment once we done pushing this shit it's a done deal.. we goin' clean we got kids, families and shit we gotta start being smart about this shit.. can't be D boys faeva'.."I said as we all sat at the table..

"I'm with that.."Jonesy said with his arms up..

"I mean I ain't got no shorties but I'm ready to get into this label shit and start putting out my music.. Harlem been missing it's touch and they need the kid."Quan said pointing at himself..

"No doubt, You the first one droppin' off the label son you already know that son.."I said as I dabbed him up and me and Jonesy laughed.."So what you plottin' on ova' there Nutty.. I haven't heard from you yet, not a peep.."

"I mean I'm sayin' B, that's cool goin' clean and allat but what we posta be all suit and tie and shit? Cause that ain't me, all I know is these hea' streets, so what we go get clean and act brand new cause I ain't on that son."Nutty said looking like he wasn't feeling none of this shit..

"Yo Nutt, what is you smokin' son?Do I look like the type of nigga that's gone go for that type of shit?You comin' at this situation all wrong my G.This gonna be OUR SHIT, we do, dress, talk, an run shit the only way we know how.. The gully Harlem Square way...We stay who we been, this money shit ain't nothin'.. Word life we always had bread since we started slangin' dime sacks back in 8th grade.. Just think of this as a hustle that's legit and gone keep Nisha from goin' off on ya goofball ass!"I held out my hand towards him to dab it.."Is you wit me or what?"

He looked at me crazy,it kind of had me shook like he wasn't feeling what I was on for a second like we ain't been talking about this shit for years already. Then he cracked a smile.."You know I'm on whateva' you on sonny! I just ain't with them ties and shit bro.."He said as we all laughed..

"Neither are we nigga, FUCK IS YOU SAYIN'!?My balls too big for that shit.."Jonesy said as I shook my head..

"Oh hold up I got some shit to lay on y'all.. memba' that arson detective that was over steppin' his boundaries on that case where we had to burn down that building in BX?" Quan asked us all and we all knew instantly who he was talking about.. That's the nigga that was tryna take us out the game but was denied because we were out of his range of limitations.. For some reason he was pressed and I think I know why..

"Yeah I memba' that mothafucka' I thought he retired two years ago!"Nutty asked as I sat back being quiet peeping what's up..

"I thought so too, but I been seein' him back around Harlem and last night I seen him when me and Tay Tay got done shootin' shit.. sunin' ain't right he might be gettin' that itch again, we gotta be on our shit.. Cause ain't nun worse than a bored, old ass retired ass cop, detective whateva' he wanna call his self.."Quan said as I rubbed my beard..

"Let me handle that.. It's deepa' than what ya think.. the nigga wants revenge cause of a beef him my old man and unc had back in the day.. He betta lay low if he don't wanna get popped.. I heard him and his people's stay in Jersey and I know all his dirt.. He ain't always been this good cop.. matter of fact he's always been a dirty cop, and when he couldn't take out unc and my pops he figured it was best to become an arson detective off the strength of him losin' his job from all of the evidence they had against him.. That's a nigga that got greedy, but he betta chill cause ain't no man comin' in between this.."I said sitting back thinking hard.

"What's the niggas name?"Jonesy asked looking my way..

"Preston.. that's his last name but they called him detective P.. and I know he had everything to do with my pops and unc gettin' set up and killed.. He's the worst kind of nigga.. We may be in the streets and do our dirt but him oh he the type of nigga that will shake hands wit his OWN people's and then walk you right to them white folks all for his personal gain.  It's like he gets off on that shit.. Niggas a pure weirdo and if any of ya see him around make sure we all on the up an up.."I said shaking my head tryna think of what could he possibly be up to now.. Didn't matter I was gonna get down to the reason one way or the next..

"On it."Quan said as Jonsey and Nutty nodded in agreement..

"Ight let's be outta hea' and lock up.. Ayo Jonsey call one of them young niggas and have them get rid of this u-haul.. I'ma take it to that abandoned alley on Parsons meet me a block up from there.."I said moving out .

"I'm on it now.."Jonesy said calling up are young d-boys as Quan hopped in drivers seat and Nutty hopped in the Suburban as well..

I dropped the u-haul truck off in the back alley I hopped out to walk up the block to meet them up the way when my main phone line was going off..I look down at my phone and it was my baby mom's Melissa.. I tried to always show her respect but I'm telling ya'll this girl was so damn ignorant nothing like the woman I first met.. only reason I haven't had her touched by one of my female goons yet is purely off the strength of our daughter.. but man it's getting harder and harder to keep a level head with her ass..I picked up watching my surroundings, not saying she would have me setup up but the way she been acting lately she's capable of ANYTHING!I felt for my 9 in my back pocket just in case but I seen Quan and them up the way so I wasn't too worried. Melissa may be alot of things but she ain't that stupid, at least I hoped she wasn't..

"Yo."I answered

"Yo, that's how you answer the phone when I call?"

I tried to count to ten before I said something I would regret.."Yo real shit Melissa unless you tellin' me you bringin' me back my daughter or come get her I ain't wit that dumb shit tonight.."I said looking around my surroundings..

"ACTUALLY that is what I was callin' about! I'm goin' on a cruise to Cancun and I had her long enough so you can come get her this Friday, I needa break!"

"Fuck is wrong wit you, that's ya daughter! She ain't ask to be hea', that's why I stopped fuckin' wit you cause you say shit like that! Yo real talk I'm comin' to get my shorty tonight and all them niggas you be havin' around, clear it out! Have her ready, and make sure her hair done..If you come to the door looking fly and she fucked up Melissa I SWEA'!.."I said getting in the door as all my niggas looked at me and shook their heads..

"Watch how you talkin' to me, I didn't ask for all of this, I always keep my baby fly who you think you comin' fa.."

"Once I get Marina back don't be askin' to see her no more she was posta been back, you be on some BULL SHIT MELISSA! I been callin' ya phone and her phone these past two months and NOTHIN'!Now ya hot tail ass wanna go on a cruise and you call me in the middle of the night!"

"Nigga you ain't doin' shit but runnin' the streets with Jones, Nutt, and Q.. and all that fussin' you doin' don't mean shit to me.. if anything it's makes my pussy wet papí!"

"WHAT!? Girl you wildn' the hell out stop talkin' that non sense in front of my daughter!"

"Yo calm down she knocked out! That's my daughter too!"

"Well act like it! Have her ready I'm on my way.."I said hanging up.."GET ON MY NERVES THIS BITCH.."

"Yo my house is closer to Melissa just take my drop top to go get shorty and ya can chill at the crib wit me and Nisha till the morning.. I'll drop y'all off"Nutty said looking over at me..

I grunted me teeth, I could feel the side of my veins popping out.."Preciate bro.."

"No doubt you know we got you, plus Jordenn been missing his buddy.. Buggin' me and Nisha about when he gone see him little cousin Rina.."Nutty said..And that made me laugh I could just picture little man saying that..Jordenn and Marina grew up together they were only three months apart and super close!Being that Nutty was basically my brother his son was like my nephew, so he called me unc and vice versa for my daughter...

"I could hear him now.. uncle Josh when Rina gone come beat me up again?"I said laughing anxious to get to my baby girl..I missed her terribly

"Ayo, Quan drop me and Josh at my crib and we'll get up wit ya little niggas lata'.."Nutty said..

"We got you... I ain't gone be no taxi all night I'm tryna slide in sunin' before the thots go in.. wea' you goin' Jonesy?"Quan said as we all laughed at his crazy ass..

"Nigga shut the fuck up! Thot's ain't neva' sleep you gone take me where eva' need be!"Jonesy said

"Yeah ight don't be surprised when you walkin' ya dumb ass down that 95!"Quan said..

"Ayo Rin and Stimpy! Can I get to my shorty first? DAMN!"I said shaking my head..

An hour later Josh pulled up to the mother of his child's Brownstone that he payed off for her.. He made sure Melissa was well taken care of because he knew eventually his daughter would be there from time to time.. and he believed that where ever his daughter laid her head had to be tip top so despite how he felt about Melissa one thing he did was take care of her financially.. No matter if he had full custody of Marina or not.. His pops made sure his mom's was good always despite the way his mom was his pops was there for her as much as she let him be.. and Joshua was going to make sure he honored that same code.. But it was only so much Josh would tolerate..He took long breath's before he walked up to the door..

I knocked on the door and waited...I could hear fiddling around at the door..I could've just walked in I had the key but I left all that shit at the crib because I wasn't expecting to hear from her this fast since she's been dodging me these past two months..Finally it opened and all I see is a sloppy drunk Melissa smelling like a pound answering the door half naked in some boy shorts and nothing but a sheer bra that showed her nipples..I shook my head..

"Wea's Marina?"I said not in the mood to even go back and fourth with her tonight..

"She fell asleep waiting on you after I did ha' hair come in J.."I shook my head as I let out a long sigh stepping in..

"You got her bags packed already?"I asked looking at her irritated..

She just nodded.."They by ha' on the couch.."She said standing in front of me blocking everything but I just didn't find anything attractive about Melissa anymore..Though she was beautiful on the outside her insides made her far from that.. and her drinking and smoking was getting out of hand.. To top it all off her attitude was distasteful, she reminded me way too much of my mom.. The same thang that drew me to her to be there for her and save her pushed me away, I just couldn't handle it..I do my thing too but never around my daughter Marina.. Melissa just didn't give a fuck and didn't have any limits..

"Ight than I'ma grab her and be out.."I said not even looking her in the face..I walked over to the couch feeling whole again seeing my heart laid out looking so peaceful..I grabbed her things first and decided to take them to the car..After that I came back and could hear screaming and crying..I ran in and seen Melissa all over the floor going crazy..Here she goes tryna pull this shit again..I grabbed Marina and brought her back to her room laying her down and closing her door so she wouldn't wake up...I shook my head and brushed my hand down my face.."Yo Melissa what you going thru, what's wrong wit you?"

"Please just stay here, I wanna be a family again! JUST STAY THE NIGHT WITH ME!"She said crawling towards me holding my waist..

"Melissa get up from the floor have some respect for yourself show Marina what her Mommy post to look like!"I said trying stand her up..

"Marina THIS! Marina THAT! WHAT ABOUT ME, WHAT ABOUT US?! eva' since she came in this world you said fuck what WE HAD and she gets all ya time! How could you do that to ME!? TO US!?"She said just crying and snotting all over the place looking so damn crazy and sounding even more insane..I glanced over at the kitchen counter and seen the empty prescription bottle for perks.. I seen a little baggy on the floor and white residue on the counters by the bottle..

"You been snortin' that shit around Marina?"I asked backing away so I wouldn't black out on her..

"What I don't snort anything!"She said as her eyes went buck..

"How you wanna be with me, you need to work on you Melissa let me check you into rehab.. I'll call your mom and give her the money to take you there first thing in the morning.. don't you wanna get better for our daughter?"

"Just stay the night, I'll fuck you so good all night.. and suck you till ya eyes roll back, I know you miss my mouth and this pussy! I know you do!"

"Ayo, you bugged out like a straight fiend! I'm taken Marina and we out.. I'll get wit ya mom's in the morning.."

"So you choosin' that little bitch over me!"

"The FUCK DID YOU CALL HER!"I said about to cave her shit in when I heard..

"Daddy?!"

We both looked over..I seen my baby girl at the top of the steps wiping her face crying..I ran up the stairs and swooped her up.."I'm right hea' baby girl.. Daddy sorry we about to leave okay!"I said holding her close rocking her as I made my way down stairs...

"Noooo! JOSH I'M SORRY, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT MARINA.. Babygirl mommy loves you I'm so sorry OKAY see look happy face.."But all Marina did was tuck her face deeper in my shoulder..

"Melissa just go lay down you done enough for tonight I'm out!"I said heading for the door..

"NOOOO I'LL DIE! If you leave I'll kill myself right now! Just stay and let's be a family, I won't touch coke ever again I promise PLEASE!"She said running towards the knife and grabbing it. And I wasn't even mad at this point I just felt so bad and heart broken for Marina even though she's only 4 she knows when something ain't right.  And I knew at this point Melissa needed professional help and me being mad and going in on her wasn't gonna help..So I had to play this smart..I swallowed my pride..I had everything on the line..So I played along with her..

"Okay Melissa I'll stay just put the knife down and let's go to bed like old times ight?"I said holding Marina close..

"You mean it?"She asked, as grossed out and disappointed as I was I had to play this smartly..

"Yeah just calm down, I'm here come on and put down the knife.."I whispered something in my daughter's ear and she nodded as I put her down and she ran upstairs to her room locking the door.. she knew not to come to the door until she heard my special knock..

Melissa was so drunk and high off of everything she didn't even care or notice she just wanted me..She put down the knife and ran up to me and gave me a hug..I picked her up and kissed her on the forehead walking her to her room which was downstairs on the other side of the living room.."You gone sleep in the bed with me?"I nodded placing her in the bed..She tried to get up..

"Where you going sexy?"I asked trying to keep her at a steady mood.

She smiled.."I need my cigarettes on the living room table baby.."

"I'll go get them sexy, just lay back and relax.. I'ma get them, use the bathroom then come back so we can go to sleep okay.."

"Okay Joshua I really do love you, more than anything, more than life, more than myself.. more than Marina"She said that last part under her breath and it made my soul quiver in such disgust.. I couldn't believe my ears but I just had to keep it cool.. I pushed all my thoughts and emotions to the side for my daughter and Melissa.

"Yeah you too.."I walked out and group text her Mom, sister and best friend telling them to hurry and get here.. I also sent them the recording I had of the whole thing.. she so messed up she didn't know I had been recording her the whole time..I grabbed her cigarettes off the table and went into the guest bathroom by the kitchen getting a call from Melissa's mom..

"Hello"I spoke tryna to talk in a low tone..

"Me and Marissa are on our way.. Francesca will probably beat us there and if she does just take Marina and run out of there.."

"Ight mama Margy will do.. Just let me know about the cash and I'll wire it to you in the morning if she decides to go thru with the rehab.."

"Sweetheart I don't need your money.. you do enough for my grandbaby, I'm just sorry she can't have the mother she deserves right now.. I don't know what's going on with Melissa I didn't raise her this way.. But I wanna thank you for EVERYTHING!"

"It's nothing! I'll do anything when my daughter's involved.."

"No really THANK YOU.. I know what you went through so much pain with your mom and I just..(She paused and sighed) You could've just left her there or put you hands on her, anything..the way you handle her and take care of her despite all of what she takes you and my grandbaby through..I don't care what you do for a living, you're an angel in my book.."

I nodded.."I'm far from that mama Margy.."

"No ya not.. fallen angels exist, God just made you with and edge, a twist.. look Francesca should be there in no time and we're like 35 minutes away.."

"Ight ya be safe.. ight, bye"I said hanging up, this night was beyond me..

"JOSH BABY WHERE ARE YOU?"Melissa called to me..

"Hea' I come I had to drain the weasel.."I said coming around the corner making my way in her room giving her her cigarettes and lighter..She grabbed it taking on out and lighting it grabbing her ashtray. I got in the bed by here and held her..

"You could have used the bathroom right here in our room silly.."

This girl has to be certified schizo!And I know schizo when I'm around it, my mom was the definition.."I know sexy but it was closer just finish your cigarette and get some rest.."

"Okay Papi.."She said snuggling closer to me laying on my chest..At first I heard puffs.. than I heard nothing...I looked down and she fell asleep with the cigarette in her mouth..I shook my head slowly taking it out of her hand and ashing it..I just laid there and held her.. I wasn't sure what Melissa was battling in her mind but I know that at one point I loved her enough to create a whole human being with her.. And that's strong enough for me to care about her not harming herself that would just fuck my baby girl up completely...Something in me told me to hold her tight.  And I did just that...My mom dealt with bipolar depression she didn't have my dad to hold her tight he was way heavy in the streets with my uncle..I wanna move in a different manner..Not even about 10 minutes later Francesca let herself in the house..They all had a key..I made sure of it when I purchased this brownstone for Melissa just in case I wasn't around and they needed to get to Marina..

"Go get Marina"She mouthed to me

"Thanks Fran."I mouthed back as she nodded..

"No thank you.. ga'head I got Lissa'"She said softly..I slowly pulled from around Melissa but I guess she felt it and Francesca came over to hold her back..

"What the hell you doin' hea'?! Joshua wea' you goin' baby you set me up you lied to ME!?"She said moving side to side trying to escape Francesca..But she wasn't going anywhere..And a part of me felt bad but then I remembered how she just talked about our daughter and I shook it going up stairs to get Marina..I rushed up to her room doing the special knock and Marina came to the door crying..

"It's okay baby girl don't cry."I said picking her up "Daddy got you faeva' don't worry bout' nothin'!"I said kissing her cheeks making my way outside..I seen mama Margy and Marissa pulling up from down the street.I nodded their way getting Marina from out of the cold and into the car seat Nutty and Nish used for Jordenn..

I got a text..Don't worry about us get my grandbaby out the cold and in the warm safely I'll call you tomorrow.. Thanks again Josh..Without a text back I nodded, driving off back to Nuttys who wasn't too far from here..All I could think about my whole way there was how my mom would treat me when I was little...

Flashbacks to Joshua growing in Harlem Square Projects with his mom when he was around 7 or 8..He tries to block out that part of his life..But tonight brought each memory back..

"Josh wake up I made pancakes!"Jennifer called from the living room of their two bed room project apartment..Josh got up happy that his mom might be in a good mood, lately she had been cruel and abusive but he thought she was just sick she would get better..

"Good morning Mommy!"He said wiping his eyes going up to his mother hugging her..

"Mmhhmm go eat.."

"Yes ma'am."He said making his way to his pancakes, drowning them in syrup..He began to dig in, he hadn't ate in two days..

Little did he know his mom was looking at him in disgust.."Stop smacking when you chew! Look just like ya dumb ass daddy, you dumb as hell just like him!"

"I'm sorry mommy."A young Joshua felt bad for looking and acting like his father and having his ways.. he didn't want to be like the man who made his mommy so mad and sad all the time .

"Mmhhmm hurry up so I can take you to ya aunties or grandma's or some shit!"

"Yes ma'am.."Joshua noticed his mom get up and leave towards her room.."Mommy!?"

"What little boy that I'm forced to know, what!?"She turns around irritated by her son's presence..

"I love you always mommy!"Joshua said hoping his love would make her feel better but instead all she did was laugh and flick her cigarette out the window walking in her room slamming the door closed..

End of flashback..

Too.Be..Continued...

A/N: I really do hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.. It was kind of sad and intense for me to write but it will get better, see you in the next chapter..

How do you guys feel about Joshua so far?

Is there anything you would care to ask the character Josh or any other characters?If so comment in this section stating your question to the specific character and that character will answer your question..Ya'll know how I get down, I love my FreeSpirit Fam so much! Y'all are the best and ain't no readers like mine!And I dare anybody to say any different!

Stay Blessed,Remove Stress,         _Kells ✌🏾🖤😘