34 ~ What was right now?

Silence becomes loud when too many eyes are watching

Remus' POV:

     "I’m telling you, this year will be one of our best!" Sirius said and looked out of the window.

Yes, very dramatic.

     As almost always, he was wearing his joggers, nothing else. He had his hands planted on his hips and the rest of us were getting ready for bed.     "Why will this year be so different?" I asked while pulling off my white shirt.          "Padfoot made a list in his head over the summer," said Prongs.     "A shag list?" I joked and Sirius drew in a loud breath. From Peter we got an "Uhhh" and James laughed when he saw Sirius's face.          "What do you think of me?" asked Padfoot in mock outrage, but I merely shrugged my shoulders and pulled on a dark green shirt to sleep in.     "But watch it, Padfoot," laughed Prongs, "our dear Moony hasn't only grown taller over the summer."          He was not wrong, since I had put on some mass over the summer. It had bothered me that I had kept growing taller, so I had used the time to change that a bit. I had not done much with my family, so I was glad to be back at Hogwarts.     "If dear Moony even wants to take part in the game for the ladies? But you're right, Prongs, he's broader."          "Calling it a game is odd," I commented and sat down on my bed.     "Okay, then our dear Remus is out," Sirius stated, but suddenly he seemed to remember something, because he said: "Do you still remember in fifth year in the summer by the lake, when Prongs told us about his love for Evans-"          "I just think she's pretty!"     "When Prongs told us that he thought Evans was pretty, when I told you about our Marauders' Oath, remember?"          "How could I forget..." muttered Prongs, and Peter nodded vigorously as well.     "What are you getting at?" I asked, raising a brow.          "Well, partly you were right, because I do intend to stretch out my feelers in the ladies' world this year, expand the territory. For that reason, Evans is obviously off limits, because Prongs is trying his luck this year, so?"     "So you want to know who I declare off limits for you?"          "Exactly, Moony!"     "No one."          Confusion appeared on Padfoot's face. "What do you mean?", he asked and did not understand, even though it was simple, so I explained it to him: "Why should I start declaring certain girls now, when it's only in our so-called Marauders' Oath?" I looked at him, "What would it gain me? If you get closer to a girl and she wants something from you, go ahead. If a girl wants me, then she'll turn you down, understand? I don't need to declare anyone off limits."

It is strange to talk about it like this as well.

     "And logic gives Remus the victory," Wormtail said dramatically. Padfoot nodded.          "Likewise none of us would, for example, get close to Lily, because we know that Prongs, our friend, likes her. Common decency, you don't need an oath for that," I finished.     "Be that as it may," Sirius said and shrugged his shoulders, "but you might be right about something, as the head of the Marauders. I've already got my eye on Marlene McKinnon," he went on and threw himself onto his bed.          "Blonde, fits your pattern," James replied, but I said: "I'd be careful, she's a friend of Lily's."     "Why should I be careful because of that?"          "Lily threatened me on the Hogwarts Express."     "Threatened? You?" James could not believe his ears.     "But she likes you. You've studied together often," said Padfoot, seeming not to understand.          "I know, I was surprised as well," I admitted, "but I think it has something to do with Phil. In the train compartment, when we were with them, said that we wanted to greet Phil, as an excuse."     "I wouldn't call it an excuse, you wanted to see her."          "I did not want to see her," I corrected him, "I was surprised that she was on the train, that's all."     "Sure," came from Prongs, not sounding convinced, and I sighed.          "In any case, what I was getting at is that Lily then told me that you should stay away from her friends, Padfoot. That's why I said it."     "Her friends still have minds of their own, I assume," Sirius said carelessly. "Besides, McKinnon has a great body, okay, breasts."          "Going to write down your love for breasts again?" Peter asked and stretched.     "Who doesn't love breasts?", Sirius asked. "Unless you prefer arses, then you're forgiven, Wormtail."          After these words Peter murmured a sort of agreement and Padfoot laughed.     "But like I said, our sixth year will simply be brilliant, I can feel it in my little toe," Sirius declared his position.     After these words we talked for a while longer, but soon went to sleep, since tomorrow we had Divination and after that Herbology.

Lily's POV:

     "I'm tired," Mare complained, yawning to underline her words.          We were just leaving the greenhouse and had had Herbology with the Slytherins. Strangely enough, Phil had spoken with that Lestrange again, even if only briefly, I still found it odd. I knew that she was a good friend of Severus, but I did not understand why she was seeking contact with Phil. Yes, Phil was attending lessons for the first time this year, but I could not imagine that a Lestrange would do all this out of pure kindness.

Some kind of ulterior motive?

     In any case, I would keep an eye on Phil, because she often overlooked the bad in people. Not that she was naïve, because Phil was very reserved, but she did not know much about the wizarding world, or the normal world in general. For her, many things were new.     I knew that she had spent her entire childhood as well as her youth alone in the forest, with her mother and stepfather. Only at Hogwarts had she come into contact with people her own age. Even though she had made a lot of progress since then, many things were still unfamiliar to her. She struggled to understand the intentions of others if they were not direct. That was exactly why I wanted to protect her, from Lestrange.     At that moment Phil was walking beside me and the other girls were walking ahead of us. Phil now had free time until lunch, since we had a double lesson of Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Ravenclaws. I was just about to start a conversation with Phil when I heard a voice behind me: "Hey!"     I turned around. Mare, Alice and Dorcas stopped walking. In the next moment I spotted Marlene and beside her was a friend of hers, with whom she shared her dormitory. Her name was Tara Summer and she had dark skin and an afro, which she was wearing today in a high ponytail. She was very small, however she was incredibly kind.          "Oh, hey!" I greeted back.     The two of them also had Defence Against the Dark Arts now. For that reason a small round of greetings took place and together we continued on our way. We moved away from the greenhouse, but in the next moment Marlene's eyes darted to the side.          "Why is Black winking at me...?" she asked in confusion.     My head snapped to the side. Indeed I spotted the Marauders and Black clearly had his gaze fixed on Marlene. It was almost unbearable to watch, because of course everyone had noticed that Black was on a testosterone rollercoaster that only went uphill.

Yes, brilliant...No.

     Unfortunately I had heard from many girls that they fancied him, but now I had a problem, because this involved Marlene.          "He's thinking with his cock," I growled and looked at the boys, giving Black an especially nasty look.     But we were lucky, because they overtook our group, yet before that I had still had to endure a disgusting grin from Potter. The mere thought of that boy made me want to vomit on the spot. He was arrogant, conceited and just as Black played his games, Potter seemed to have jumped on that bandwagon as well.          "That does make sense..." Marlene muttered.     Her friend Tara nodded. Phil, however, watched the boys leave, seemed not to be following our conversation. Alice and Mare had resumed their earlier conversation and Dorcas had turned towards us.     "You're probably his newest victim, Marlene," she said. The expression that followed on Marlene's face did not please me at all.          "If Black plays his games, then I can play as well, can't I?" she asked, but I could not believe what I was hearing.     "McKinnon!" I snapped and she gave a small jump. "Don't fall for Black's games! He's an arse! Just think of poor Susan Brown."          "Yes, but I'm not Brown," Marlene said, "and maybe he's actually quite nice."     "Yes, so you can give him a punch in the face," I said, as we reached a fork in the corridor.          "We'll see each other at lunch," Phil said and we said goodbye to her, afterwards I turned back to the conversation.

Phil's POV:

     I moved away from the girls and to be honest I had not really understood much of what they had been talking about. I knew it had been about Black, but I had not wanted to take part in the conversation. Lately, the girls had often been talking about some boys. Slowly, this topic was becoming boring to me.     In my opinion it was simple; the boys were often stupid, but also kind; one did not have to get involved with Black, so everyone had a choice; and all these conclusions solved almost all problems for me. However, another problem that lived in my head did not disappear: my father.     I had already told Dumbledore about the anonymous transfer into my vault, also that I had felt watched in Diagon Alley. However, he had said that I should not worry, even though I believed that he had only said it to reassure me.     For me, my father was alive and he had learned about my existence in Hogwarts, just as about my mother's death. Back then during the separation he had wanted me to come with him. Now I was afraid that he wanted to put that into action.

Yes, I know that it will not happen, yet these thoughts have been keeping me awake for the last two days.

     I had not thought about him for a long time, and although I hated him, I had almost only good memories of him, even if he had always controlled everything. Compared to my mother and her new husband, he had been the only person I had known who had loved me.     Whether he had only loved the thought that I had become like him, or because I was his daughter, I did not know. I only knew that my father was a psychopath, had done terrible things.     So I found myself at a dead end with my thoughts and feelings, did not really know what I should feel.

Are there even right answers to these questions?

     "Where are you off to?" a voice startled me and I flinched.           I shook my head. With my heart beating fast, I returned to reality.     At that moment I was standing on one of Hogwarts' bridges. I had wanted to go into the other building complex to the moving staircases. In two hours there would be lunch and I wanted to work on my Herbology essay. Yes, I wanted to, because as fate would have it, an Elizabeth Lestrange had decided to startle me.     "Wow, you're very easy to scare," she laughed and I looked into her green eyes, which were at the same height as mine.          "Obviously..." I replied dryly.     Slowly my heart calmed down again. There were few people on the bridge and those who were there avoided us, although I was certain they were avoiding Lestrange. Unlike me, she did not only command respect among the Slytherins with her surname, perhaps even a trace of fear.     That was exactly why I did not know why she wanted to speak with an Aquila.

Sure, my father had served the Dark Arts, but he is also a mad werewolf. A psychopath who is wanted by the Ministry, and should he ever be found, a cell in Azkaban would await him.

     "What do you want?" I therefore asked Elizabeth cautiously, and although we had spoken a bit in Herbology, it was a strange experience outside of lessons.     "To talk with you," was her answer.          I nodded, started moving and she followed.     "Why exactly do you want to talk with me?" the next question came from my lips. Elizabeth let out a short laugh, as she seemed to understand where my questions came from.          "Quite simple, I'm bored and of course, it's no secret; I very much prefer my own company. Now, however, I wanted to talk and you offered yourself, you're also walking alone. And you're interesting."     "Interesting? But you've only been speaking to me since Potions, even though I've been here since fourth year."          "Questions upon questions, Phil," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. She shot a nasty look at a Hufflepuff boy and snapped: "Why are you standing on the stairs, other people want to get through as well!"     The boy picked up his pace and darted off, one of his shoes having loose laces. He stumbled, but did not fall.

Poor kid...

     "Yes, I know, you've been here longer, but I've only just become bored now.", once again she shrugged her shoulders.          "And why are you even talking to me as a-"     "Slytherin, Lestrange? " she finished and I nodded. She did not seem to have any problems with my direct questions, which surprised me. "Like I said, I was bored. Also, none of that bothers me. I'm a Lestrange and that's that. Houses are strange, because you're an Aquila and there's also a Black in Gryffindor, so surnames are unimportant. Anyone can be bad or good. Does that answer your questions?"     I nodded hesitantly; I still did not know what to think of her. Of course I did not know that apart from Severus she had no close friends. Nor could I look into Elizabeth's head and recognise that she was truly telling me the truth.     I did not know that Elizabeth Lestrange was a person who always stuck her nose into other people's affairs, which was also why she was at odds with the Marauders, although they were not any better. In my eyes Elizabeth was a Slytherin who could be just as annoying as the Marauders.     So I did not see any worsening for myself.

Annoying is annoying.

     "So, to repeat my question from the very beginning: where are you off to?" she asked.          "I wanted to go to my dormitory. I've got two free hours."     "Boring," she objected. "We should rather go into the courtyard. The weather is nice today."          "We?"     "Yes, we, don't be so difficult. I told you that I'm bored. So if you're not going to the dormitory right now, then you'll have to put up with me, so come on." She went down the stairs and I did not know what I should do.     In the end I perhaps made the wrong decision, because I followed Lestrange. Together we went into a courtyard.

     There I was able to start writing my essay as planned, while Elizabeth also wrote an essay. In between, however, I had to speak with her, but apart from strange looks from others we got nothing.     The looks reached their peak when we went to lunch. Quickly many eyes were on us, and when we walked to our tables, everyone looked at me as if I were naïve and mad to be speaking with a Lestrange.     Lestrange, however, received equally interesting looks, namely hostile ones from the Gryffindors, as if she as a Slytherin and Lestrange were plotting something nasty, wanted to take advantage of the new Aquila girl.     Perhaps that was exactly the truth, but I did not know. Lately I knew very little when it came to people. That was why I could listen to the girls giving me thousands of reasons why I should not speak with Elizabeth Lestrange, even though most of the girls had not spoken a single word with her.     The Marauders also looked at me as if I had lost my mind, yet I wondered who at that moment was standing on the right side. In any case, it became clear to me that the Gryffindors were in no way inferior to the Slytherins when it came to prejudice and hasty conclusions.