Chapter 52

Sophia's POV ~

"I'm sorry Sophia he's... Gone" Jackie (Ryan's mom) placed her shaky hand on my shoulder.

"H-he can't be.... Gone?" I stuttered and started to feel dizzy.

"Soph, he's gone." Dylan said walking up to me and hugging me tight. My lip was quivering. I looked Dylan in the eyes, he kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry Soph." Dylan whispered. I buried my head in Dylan's chest and cringed.

"He can't be dead, Ryan can't be dead!" I cried in emotional pain. Dylan's grip tightened as he rubbed my back.

"Come sit down," Dylan pulled me towards a chair. "Baby you gotta relax." He whispered in my ear.

"Ahh....." I cried.

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I shot up out of the bed screaming. Dylan was taken off guard and fell of the bed when he jolted wake. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, i felt like my breathing was delayed. I looked around to see where i was.

"Soph what happened?" Dylan got back on the bed and pulled me into his arms. I was shaking, he ran his thumb calmingly over my forehead.

"It was a dream-Ryan, he-I gotta call and see if he's okay!" I said frantically.

"First calm down and tell me what happened." Dylan said.

"I had a dream that.... Ryan died." I shut my eyes at the thought of that happening.

"Soph he's fine. He's not dead." Dylan said.

"How do you know that? You're here with me!" I said really upset.

"Soph i think if something happened that they would have called you." Dylan pressed his lips to my temple.

"I need to call and make sure he's okay." I said.

"Soph they're most likely sleeping it's 3 in the morning." Dylan said.

I didn't care what time it was. Pushing myself from Dylan's grasp i grabbed my phone. It rang for what seemed like ages... Finally Jackie answerd.

~Phone call~

"Hey Soph..." Jackie sounded upset; my heart fell into my stomach.

"Is Ryan okay?" I asked.

"Umm...." She um-ed for a second. "Yes, he's fine..." She said quietly.

"Are you sure? You don't sound sure." I said. She took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yes Sophia i'm sure." She said. "Question, why are you up at 3 worrying about him when you're in Disney with Dylan to get away from the drama."

"I had a dream... Th-that Ryan died. I woke up and i couldn't breathe like he explained to me how his breathing felt and that's what i felt. I couldn't breathe." I shut my eyes and Dylan pulled me close.

"Alright well you're fine, he's fine..." She paused. "Shake it off and get some sleep okay?"

"Okay, night..." I said.

"Night Sophia," Jackie then hung up.

"See i told you." Dylan said.

"Well she didn't sound to sure." I huffed. Dylan took the phone out of my hand. He kissed my forehead and pulled me down to lay closely next to him.

"Get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be fun." Dyl said. I kissed his nose and he shut his eyes. He fell back asleep but i never did. It felt so real; the breathing thing freaked me out. The sun started to come through the window so i decided to wake Dyl up.

"Hey wake up," I laughed. He stretched and opened his eyes looking at me.

"When did you get you?" He asked.

"Never went back to sleep." I said.

"Sophia." Dyl said 'sternly.' I laughed at him and pecked his lips.

"Lets go!!" I smiled getting out of the bed. Dylan jumped up and chased after me. He caught up to me and threw my over his shoulder. He laid me on the bed and passionately kissed me and then we got dressed.

~At Disney~

I'm having the best day ever. I can't thank Dylan enough for this. Today has been so much fun!! All the rides and games; all the "Magic". We're on line for another ride when Dylan got a phone call. I tried to listen in but he somehow prevented me from hearing. He's such a butt munch sometimes.

Dylan's POV ~

I had told Jackie not to call unless some terrible happens. Ryan's been doing better so i wasn't expecting a phone call. Also i told her to call me first before Soph so i knew the whole story. We're online for a ride when i got a phone call from Jackie. In all honesty my heart sank into my stomach at the thought of what happened and how it will effect Soph.

~Phone call~

"Dylan?" Jackie said.

"Yes, Speaking." I said.

"Ryan slipped into a coma right before Soph had called this morning. He was saying he was having trouble breathing...-i think Soph was feeling his pain of what was happening to him-They checked everything and wound area was infected. They were doing stuff and he was saying how he couldn't breathe. T-then he slipped into a coma. They thought he would be okay and come out of it but he's not looking to good right now. I think you guys need to get back here." She sounded heart broken.

"I'm-" I paused. Sophia kept trying to see who i was on the phone with and was like jumping on me. "Soph please stop i'm on the phone." I said, she frowned and apologized. "As soon as we can okay?" I said.

"Okay, i'm going to call Soph now..." She said.

"Okay, bye."

"Bye..."

~End of phone call~

The phone call was vague on my side because this news shouldn't come from me. Seconds after i hung up Sophia's phone rang. When she saw the name all the color drained from her face. As Jackie was telling her she started crying. I pulled her against my chest so other people wouldn't be rude and stare. When she hung up she couldn't even talk.

"Dyl-he's-Ryan-I-we...." Soph stuttered.

"Shh.... Baby i know." I said. "I'm taking you there now; okay? We'll go get our stuff and go."

"Th-ank you." She said.

Soph wiped her face and stopped crying long enough to get to the car. As soon as we were in the car she was crying again. It hurt me to see her like this. I know she felt hurt and broken. To her this is like her brother; at least that's how she explained it to me. She stayed in the car and i got out stuff from the hotel room and checked out. I've realized i thought my life used to be hard but Sophia... Even Ryan. I have such an easier life then either of them do. That hurts me to realize that.

~At the hospital~

Sophia's POV ~

Dylan grabbed my hand and we walked into the hospital. Sadly we knew where we were going. When we got in the room Jackie was sitting next to his bed holding his hand and Brian (his dad) was standing looking at his lifeless, non-responsive son. Jackie got up and hugged me tight.

"Right before he became non-responsive he asked me to tell you something. He said, 'please tell Sophia i'm sorry. That no matter what happens i'll be okay and she'll be okay too, with Dylan. And thank you for being the best first love and only love that someone could ever asked for. I love her and i always will.'" Both of our grips tightened.

To me that sounded like his fight was over. He didn't want to struggle anymore. He hasn't been able to breathe, it hurts him to move. Now they found of his wound was infected and was spreading to his lungs and possibly his heart which is why he was always hurting and couldn't breathe. If they had watched him more careful they could have stopped the infection or even prevented it but it was to late. They were trying everything but nothing had been helping. We pulled apart and she wiped her face of tears.

"Can i have a minute alone with him?" I asked.

"Of corse. Just one second, okay?" Jacked asked. I nodded and went over to Dylan. I know what they were doing. They were saying their goodbye incase if he didn't make it while i was in the room. Dylan was quiet and didn't say anything. When they finished they came over to me and hugged me. "Take as long as you need sweetie."

"Thank you..." I said.

Dylan went in the hallway with Ryan's parents. They closed to door so i had totally privacy. Slowly i walked over to Ryan and sat in the chair his mom had been in. Again he had the oxygen nubs in his nose because he couldn't breathe on his own. Wires and needles filling him with medications and fluids. He looked so thin and frail from not eating an actually meal in weeks and not working out besides some physical therapy. His hair was longer then he usually kept it; but they had shaved for him. I didn't even know if i should say anything to him. There was just so much that happened between us... I wasn't ready to let go of him like this. I carefully through and wires interlocked my hand with his.

"I never imagined this to happen Ryan. I never thought i would get you back and lose you again. But this time; there will be no chance of getting you back. Your mom told me what you said. I know we'll both be okay... Someday anyway. Even though we had our issues you always will be my first love and no one can replace that; not even Dylan. I will always love you too. That will never go away. I'm sorry too, sorry that i pushed you over the edge. But there's nothing i can do now... That's something i have to live with everyday. I hope you can forgive me as i've forgiven you." I paused because i was hysterical. "You were a great person Ryan. No matter whats happened. You're a phenomenal baseball player, a great friend, kind of a shitty boyfriend (I chuckled), but i love you. I don't want you to suffer anymore. I don't know if you're in pain or not. Or even if you can hear me but... It's okay to let go... We won't be mad at you. We all know you love us and that you aren't doing this to hurt us. Just as long as you know we will always love you. I love you Ryan John Logan, and i always will. That's a promise, that's a promise i will never break." I kissed his forehead. My hand never left his.

The room was silent as i cried. I watched the heart rate monitor line as it started to go flat and not peak anymore. I felt my heart broke and shatter to a thousand pieces. The silence became deafening. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me away from Ryan's body. They turned my towards their chest and i realized it was Dylan. He carried me to bathroom.

"H-h-he's gone Dylan! Ryan died..." I cried.

"I know Soph i know..." Dylan pulled me closer.

"B-bring me back out there please." I said.

Dylan let go of me and i left the bathroom. Ryan's door was shut with a nurse standing outside of it. I saw Jackie and ran to her.

"Please... Please tell me you just let him go." I said.

"Yeah, we did; we didn't want him to suffer anymore." Jackie cried. I cried hard and loudly which took some pain away. Dylan came over and took me from Jackie so she could be with Brian. I was sobbing hysterically almost in disbelief it happened. But i know it did because i watched it happen. I was sitting in a chair in the waiting room. Dylan was squatting in front of me with his hands on my thighs.

"Shh.... Soph it's okay. He's not in pain anymore. You told him to let go and that it would be okay. So he did." Dylan said.

"i-I don't think i was ready to let go Dyl..." I said.

"Yes you were or you wouldn't of told him it was okay." Dylan said.

"Take me home Dylan... Please just take me home."

Dylan picked me up. We went and said goodbye to Jackie and Brian whom were also a crying mess. We said how sorry we were and all that and then Dylan brought me home. I went took a long hot shower while Dylan told my parents and Tara what happened. When i got out of the shower Dylan wanted to leave so i had time to grieve but i didn't want him to leave. I needed him.

~Later that day (night time)~

Dylan had to go home so i was left alone in my room. I didn't want to eat dinner. I didn't have the tv on. I sat in utter silence and cried. Mourning over the loss of Ryan. I looked through old pictures of us. There was one from that day we went to the beach. When we went on the ferris wheel against my wishes. We were sitting on the beach. It was one of those 4 pictures in one. The first one we were just smiling, the second one i was kissing his cheek, the third one he was kissing my cheek, and last one we were making silly faces. Tara came in and hugged me and had so snacks for me.

"I'm sorry Soph." Tara said. "I have some food if you're hungry."

"Thanks Tar..." I sighed. She got up to leave but stopped and turned around.

"Do you really miss him that much already Soph?" She asked.

"Yeah Tara i do. I really really do." I pursed my lips together. She nodded and left.

I thought for a long time before falling asleep. Jackie said he was having trouble breathing right before i called. I was feeling what he was feeling. On some level Ryan and i had a special connection. That was something i always thought. There was also something special between us. I still can't actually believe that he's gone. Never again will his green eyes look at me again, i will never see the crocked smirk; his laugh is only a memory in my brain. There won't be anymore hugs, baseball/softball practices together, no jokes to be told. All i have left of Ryan John Logan is memories, the good and the bad.

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😭😭😭 I know a lot of you didn't like Ryan but here's to take a moment of silence (don't judge me). This is the hardest thing i've ever written. I cried hysterically while writing. I really liked the nice Ryan but a lot of you still didn't like him so i did for the story what i had to do. I don't know who writers *cough cough* "Jeff Davis" can just kill people off without crying!! Alright... I hope you like this chapter? Idk!! I'm a freaking mess. I love you guys bye.👼 Krissy

{ Not fully proof read because i couldn't get through it without crying so i'll fix it later. }