Chapter 44

Sophia's POV ~

Today i have a doctors appointment. Both Ryan and Dylan have been up my butt still. It is very annoying. I know it's because they care and blah blah blah... But i mean i guess the thing that really bothers me is Ryan being around so much. Because i feel so distance from Dylan because we can be all ya know like lovey dovey in front of Ryan because it would be weird. Literally the only time i was alone was a week ago when i sent then home and locked my door. Christmas is close which is exciting i guess, just a few more days and then a new year!

"Ready?" Dylan asked.

"Kinda..." I said. I looked around and realized Ryan wasn't in the room. "Where's Ryan?"

"Kinda? And he had to run home really quick he told you." Dylan chuckled. "I guess you weren't listening." He smirked. I stuck my tongue out at him and walked over to him. I pecked his lips and he smiled.

"I'm getting a baby bump." I sighed. My forehead was pressed against his. I didn't look up at his eyes.

"Soph," Dylan paused, i looked up into his eyes. "You're beautiful." He said placing one hand on my cheek, i chuckled.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Dylan said.

"Thank you for staying with me, through everything." I said.

"Sophia i've never met anyone like you before. I love you so much that i couldn't even begin to explain it to you. Every up and down i go through with you is worth it because you're perfect to me in every way. You're kind, smart, funny, corky, and the sweetes-" I cut him off.

I smashed my lips against his. His hands moved down to my hips. Then to under my butt on the back of my thighs. Dylan was leaning his back up against the wall. He picked me up and i wrapped my legs around his waist. My mini baby bump made a little bit of a distance between us. I realized i had gained some weight which sucks for Dyl having to pick me up. ;) He kissed down to my neck and i breathed heavily.

"Ya know soon we won't be able to do this anymore..." I breathed.

"We'll make it work." He said coming back up to me lips.

"That's good to here." I giggled against his lips.

My arms were wrapped around his neck and my legs still tightly around his waist. His hands exploring my back under my shirt. My door was closed and we were standing behind it. Next thing i knew i was hit on the back of my head by the door opening.

"Ouch!" I said.

"What the-" Ryan said coming in the room. Dylan put me down and we moved away from the door.

"Be careful when you open a door!" I said poking Ryan's chest with my finger.

"Be more careful where you're frantically making out!" He poked me back but on my shoulder. He wasn't being mean but i was annoyed.

"Maybe we wouldn't be frantically making out IF we had some time alone!" I yelled. Dylan just stood there staring at us. Ryan looked stumped.

"I..." Ryan opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Ryan," I sighed in frustration i felt bad i yelled at him. "You just, you don't... Ugh for get it!" I threw my hands up in aggravation.

"I think we should get going now." Dylan said.

"I'm going alone." I said crossing my arms.

"To the doctors?" Dylan asked.

"No to the store." I said sarcastically. "Yes the doctors!" I huffed. "My mom and i thats all i need a break!" I said.

I grabbed my bag and ran out of the house. I sat in the car waiting for my mom. I closed my eyes and let the tears just roll down my cheeks. The sound of the car door opening and closing filled the silence. I figured it was my mom, but the car never started. Opening my eyes i didn't see anyone in the car. Was i totally losing it? I looked in the backseat and saw Tara. She had her headphones in listening to music. She looked up at me and smiled, her smile slowly faded as she saw my tears.

"Talk to me." She said while taking out her headphones.

"Move over." I softly smiled. I got out of the front seat and got in the back next to Tara.

"What's bothering you?" Tara asked. I paused thinking for a second, then i broke down.

"I feel Dylan and I growing distant from each other. I haven't been alone with out Ryan or Dylan since i found out! I love Ryan being back to him old self be he needs to lay off! He's here too much! I need time with Dylan! I don't know who will always be here for me, i don't know who i can trust anymore. And i don't know what to do about the baby. I-i-I don't know if i want to keep it or if i want to give him or her up for adoption, i can't make that kind of choice. I just don't know what to do anymore!"I sobbed, i wanted to say more but i couldn't get my words out. Tara leaned over and hugged me.

"It's okay sis, i'll always be here for you i can promise you that." She hugged me tight.

I sat there crying uncontrollably, i couldn't stop it. Looking up i saw Dylan and Ryan come out of the house. Ryan sat in the front seat and Dylan came in the back sitting next to me. He placed his hand on my back. I turned around and clung tight to Dylan from Tara.

"Shh... Your mom canceled your appointment you don't have to go today." Dylan whispered. I clasped my hands tight to the back of his shirt and sobbed, i was shaking. I just totally lost it and had no control anymore. Dylan was rubbing my back softly trying to relax me but it wasn't really working.

"Soph," Tara placed her hand on my back and i flinched.

Dylan's POV ~

I watched Ryan's reaction to when Soph flinched. He had hurt in his eyes, he knew it was from stuff thats happened in the past. She was all worked up, when Tara touched her she flinched because she was scared. I just couldn't get her to relax.

"Come on lets get you inside." I said. Tara got out of the car and ran to the front door. Ryan opened the backdoor for me and i slid out of the car with Soph in my arms. Her breathing was off and she was still crying. I felt her grip tighten on me.

"Dyl." She cried in pain.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked.

"My stomach hurts." She could barely speak.

"Ryan get Heather, i'm gonna go get her back in the car." I said, Ryan ran off up stairs to get Heather. I got Sophia in the car. I had her placed on my lap, we were sitting in the back. "Soph, baby listen to me. You need to calm down. Being this worked up isn't good for you or the baby." She finally looked up at me. Her eyes bright red from crying.

"I-can't-breathe." Soph gasped. I was stroking her cheek. I did the only thing i could think of, i kissed her. When i pulled back her breathing was slower. "Thank-you." She said closing her eyes.

"Soph stay awake, stay with me don't go to sleep okay." I said trying not to panic.

"I don't think i can Dyl." She spoke very quietly.

"Come on Ryan hurry up." I whispered. "Soph remember the first day i met you?" I asked, she nodded. "Tell me what we did." I said, i was trying to keep her responsive.

"W-went to the mall... Th-then back here." She said.

"Yeah we did, what else did we do?" I asked.

Sophia's POV ~

"I kissed you..." I said, my vision is blurry. I'm scared and don't know whats happening. "I love you Dyl..." i said faintly barely able to push the words from my mouth. I heard Dylan talking but couldn't make out the words anymore. Next thing i knew i passed out.

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Dylan's POV ~

When we got to the hospital they brought Sophia right back we didn't have to wait. We've been here about 45 and they are moving her to an actually room and not just a spot in the ER. She's still unconscious... The last thing she said to me before she passed out was i love you. And to be honest it ripped my heart out. She sounded so scared and helpless, then her body went limp and she had passed out. While they are settling her in a room the family and such has to stay in the waiting room. Jeff had gotten here a few minutes ago, he was at some last minute meeting or something but they let him leave. He's been very quiet about the whole pregnancy thing. At least to me i don't know about Ryan since he's the dad...

I was sitting on the windowsill with my knees tucked to my chest. From the floor we were on you could see a lot of the town we lived in. Tears were slowing running down my face but i left them. All i could think about was is Sophia okay? I felt a hand on my knee. I looked across to see Tara sitting on the opposite side of the windowsill from me. She looked like she had just stopped crying. Her cheeks a rosy pink, eyes all puffy, she was sniffling. She removed her hand a tucked back a piece of hair behind her ear, she smiled. I softly smiled back and let out a sigh. I looked at Tara who looked out the window, i also followed by looking back out the window.

"She's strong, she'll be fine." Tara said softly. She wiped under her eyes with her thumb. I nodded as she looked at me as for agreeance. "Sophia's one of the strongest people i know. It's why i look up to her so much. She's my hero." Tara paused. "Ya know in school when they have you write a paper or have you do a project on your hero in your life?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said faintly and nodded.

"I've always put Sophia down as my hero. People often ask, aren't you and your sister fair apart because the age difference? I say no, because that 6 year age difference doesn't matter. She's always there when i need her." She had more and more tears running down her face. "I know i can be a nuisance to her sometimes but it's just because i want to be like her, be as awesome as her. I care about her so much that's why i'm so protective of her, because i love her."

"I love her too Tara." I said. We smiled at each other. "And you're not a nuisance Tar."

She reached out and hugged me, tight too. I knew she was hurting on the inside and just needed someone to listen to her. Not that everyone was ignoring her but her sister wasn't able to talk with her right now. The person she loves the most and has no clue what's wrong with her. None of us do... Our hug was interrupted.

"Family of Sophia Johnson?" A nurse came out asking for us. We all stood up and walked over to him. Heather, Jeff, Ryan, Tara and I.

"Yes?" Heather and Jeff said together.

"Your daughter is stable right now. She is still unconscious however responding well to treatment so far. You're allowed to come see her now but we don't want visitors long because they still have tests they are doing." He said.

"What about the baby?" Heather asked, Jeff pulled her close rubbing her arms up and down. The nurse checked over the paperwork. He sighed and flipped all of the papers back over, with a sadden look on his face he answered her.

"I'm afraid that she has lost the baby, a miscarriage. I'm so sorry." He put he head down and cleared his throat. I grabbed Tara and we hugged crying together, as did Jeff and Heather. Ryan walked quickly down the hall to the bathroom. The nurse left us and told us to go to the room when we were ready. Tara seemed really upset. I don't know if it was because she wasn't gonna be an aunt anymore or because she didn't know what this meant would happen to Soph.

Heather and Jeff wanted to go to the room alone first. Ryan still hasn't come out of the bathroom. I was sitting on the bench, Tara's head was on my lap and her legs spread out on the rest of the bench. I was stroking her cheek. She was still crying a little bit.

"You okay?" I asked. Tara just nodded, i couldn't tell if it was a yes or a no. I shut my eyes and leaned my head back on the wall. I wound up falling asleep.

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"Dylan.... Dylan. Dylan!" I heard someone saying my name. I woke up and saw Jeff holding Tara who was also still sleeping. Heather was next to me. "You can go see Sophia now." She smiled faintly.

"Thanks." I said.

"Do you know where Ryan is?" Jeff asked.

"No the last time i saw him he went to the bathroom. I haven't seen him since." I said, she nodded.

When i walked in the room Sophia had tubes and wires around her. Since she was having trouble breathing they had the little tube in her nose giving her oxygen. She had an IV in her hand again like last time. Along with that little clippy thing they put on your finger to know your heart rate or something like that. She had other things stuck in her. I'm guessing because of the miscarriage. I sat on the bed next to her.

I just sat there staring at her for a few minutes. It felt like forever. This wasn't how i was expecting us to get our alone time... Ryan came in and just kind of stood there.

"I umm i'm gonna g-go home..." Ryan said. He looked like he had been hit by a bus.

"Were you in the bathroom crying this whole time?" I asked. He shook his head yes.

"Call m-me when she wakes up please?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah i will." I said.

~Dinner Time~

"Dylan just come down and have dinner with us in the cafeteria it's not like we're leaving the hospital." Tara begged. It has been 15 minutes of begging. I finally gave in.

I got up and walked passed Tara and softly smiled. As i was walking away she jumped on my back. I laughed as did she. We have a great relationship, she's like my little sister too. Jeff was kinda pissed that Ryan left but i kind of understand why he did.

"Hospital food really isn't that bad." Tara laughed.

"Could be way worse." I chuckled.

"Did Ryan say why he left?" Jeff asked.

"No, but i have a feeling of why." I said.

"It's alright i was just wondering." Jeff said pushing his plate onto the tray.

"I think he's just overwhelmed, and feels bad." I said

"Well he should feel bad." Jeff said.

"I think you should give him a little break..." I said.

"Dylan you know what he did to my daughter." Jeff said in a stern voice.

"Yes i do Jeff but he's changed. I talked to him the other day and he was feeling really guilty about getting her pregnant. Now i think he feels worse that she has to go through the pain physically and emotionally of a miscarriage." I said.

"Dylan's right dear." Heather said placing her hand on his.

"I'm gonna head back up to the room." Jeff said.

Sophia's POV ~

When i finally came to i was freaked out. I woke up in a panic not knowing where i was. Tubes and wires attached to me. I screamed because i was scared. A bunch of nurses came running in, so i'm guessing now that i calmed down i realized i was in the hospital. I relaxed and they checked everything and made sure i was okay. All of the nurses but one left. They didn't want to leave me alone until one of my family members was back with me.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Eating dinner they'll be back soon." She said.

A few minutes passed and my dad walked in. He was all alone. When he saw me tears filled his eyes. He ran over to me and hugged me tight. I couldn't remember anything that had happened so i was worried he was alone. Did something happen to everyone else too? The nurse got up and left. My dad kissed my forehead.

"I was so worried." He said.

"What happened? I can't remember anything." I said still scared. He took a step back an looked at me.

"You can't remember anything at all?" He asked.

"No i don't know why i'm in here. The last thing i remember was i was making out with Dylan in my room and Ryan came back and i started yelling at him. Then i got in the car and talked with Tara. That's all i remember. Were we in an accident on the way to the doctors?" I asked.

"No baby girl you weren't you really don't remember?" He asked. I shook my head no. "Well everyone else is fine." He smiled this fake smile that didn't make me feel any better.

"What about the baby?" I asked. Just then Dylan, Tara and my mom came in. "Dylan!" I said. He ran over and hugged me.

"Oh my god you had me so worried." He paused. "I love you." Dylan whispered in my ear.

"I love you too, but what happened?" I asked. Dylan backed up and looked sad. He looked down and then to my dad who nodded allowing him to tell me.

"Umm... Well you were sitting in the car with Tara and i came in and you totally lost it and started crying really hard. You started shaking and breathing funny, your mom had moved your appointment till later in the week since there was a lot going on. I brought you inside to try and relax you and calm you down but you said your stomach hurt. So we took you here but you passed out before we got here. You've been unconscious for a couple hours. They've been doing tests and stuff. But um... Soph you l-lost the baby..." Dylan chocked on his words as he talked.

"What?" I asked, i was shocked.

"You had a miscarriage Soph, i'm sorry." Dylan said taking my hands in his. I was all over the place now. Did i i really lose the baby? Was this a joke?

"Dylan is this some kind of joke?" I asked hurt thinking he would lie about something like that.

"No sweetheart it's not." My mom said.

I was upset but also relieved. The feeling of relief made me feel guilty. Not that i didn't want a child but i wasn't ready. Maybe this was for the better. I'm still very upset, i lost my baby! I didn't realize it but i was crying.

"Dylan," I shut my eyes. "I wanna go home."

"I know Soph, i know." He kissed my forehead.

Ryan showed up and i had time to talk alone with him. We talked about the whole thing. We were both upset but relieved. I didn't tell him i felt guilty, i didn't want to talk with him about that. My mom said she was going to get me in therapy to help me get over my depression and guilt. I had to stay the night but can go home tomorrow morning.

~Next day (back home)~

Ryan's been acting really weird ever since he found out about the miscarriage. I felt funny still because now to finish the process of everything they gave me medication. Since Ryan left the hospital last night i haven't talked to him, text, phone call, he didn't stay over like he has been. Dylan was here with me and we were finally alone which was nice.

"Do you think he's okay?" I asked.

"Soph don't worry about him, just worry about yourself." Dylan kissed my nose.

"But Dylan he has me really worried. He was acting really weird when he came back to the hospital last night." I sighed.

"He's probably just letting it sink in Soph." Dylan said.

"Yeah i guess so..." I said.

"I'm just glad you're okay." Dylan hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"Me too." I laid my head on his shoulder. I had texted Ryan and was waiting for him to answer. I kept swiping the unlock bar on my phone over even though i know he didn't answer. It was just hopeful thinking that maybe i just missed it. Dylan reached down and slipped the phone out of my hand. I looked at the top of my hand, it was all bruised from the needles and everything. "So i start therapy next Tuesday."

"After the new year?" He asked.

"Yea." Silence again filled the room. "I think i should go check on him." I went to get up but Dylan stopped me.

"Soph he's a big boy he's fine, you need to rest." Dylan said.

"I can't rest until i know he's okay Dylan." I said begging with puppy eyes. "Come with me, you can drive and then i promise i will come back here and take a nap or something."

"Fine..."

When we got to Ryan's house only his car was there. By the way if you're wondering my parents had the restraining order removed before i knew i was pregnant. I knocked on the front door but there was no answer. Dylan stayed in the car, he didn't want to come in. I turned the handle but the door was locked. I grabbed the extra key from in the potted plant on the porch and went inside.

"Ryan? Are you home?" I asked.

The house was quiet but i could hear someone talking. It actually sounded like a tv. No one was on the main floor so i made my way up stairs. It was weird being in his house after so long.

"Ry?" I asked again. Still nothing. I heard talking from his room, it wasn't a tv but i couldn't make out who was talking. I was trying to be quiet because if anyone was here they clearly didn't hear me yet. My phone rang and i jumped, quickly i started pushing buttons trying to stop it from ringing. Next thing i knew Ryan came out of his room. With a joint pressed between his lips. Oh god...

"Why are you here Soph?" He asked. Not nicely but not really meanly either.

"I-you- i was worried about you, you weren't answering my texts." I said, i felt scared. He had been smoking i didn't know how he would act.

"Well i didn't answer for a reason." He huffed, taking the joint from between his lips and breathing out. Smoke filled the air in the hallway.

"Why are you smoking? I thought you stopped. You were doing so good Ryan. Why are you doing this?" I asked with shaky words.

"Because i want to." He said. Then Vinnie walked into the hallway. Yeah VINNIE! Like as in Gracie's BOYFRIEND VINNIE!

"Vinnie what the hell?" I said shocked.

"Please don't tell Gracie it's the first time i've done anything in a long time." He begged.

"Are you scared of her telling?" Ryan asked him.

"Kind of." He replied.

"Don't be a little bitch Vin." Ryan huffed, oh no here we go what have i gotten myself into.

"Ryan you're better then this." I said. "You're stronger then your addiction, you don't need that joint. You were clean for months... The only reason you went back to it is because you don't want to confront the real problem; you're trying to escape it and that won't work." I said.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Ryan said.

"Yes i do." I said.

"No you don't you don't know what i'm feeling Soph!" He yelled. I tried staying calm.

"You're right Ryan, i don't know what you're feeling. So give me the joint and we can talk." I said sticking my hand out to take it.

Vinnie was just standing there watching us. Ryan was looking me straight in the eyes. I felt like i could hear my Ryan screaming for help on the inside but this monster had taken over his body. The difference between the look in his eyes and the way he was physically conducting himself made me kind of scared. I still had my hand out waiting for him to do the right thing. By now the joint had made its way back to being between his lips. I had gave him enough of a chance. I started to pull my hand away when he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I shut my eyes and screamed a little. My first thought was he was going to beat the crap out of me. Once i relaxed i realized it wasn't a hard grip he had. He wasn't trying to hurt me. But i had no clue what he was doing. I opened my eyes that were now filled with tears. Ryan had tears flooding his eyes too. He reached in his back pocket, again i closed my eyes. God knows what he was gonna pull out of his pocket.

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DUN DUN DUN!!!! Sorry for the cliffhanger! I actually didn't want to leave you with a cliffhanger so i kept writing and i got a really good idea. So i was writing and writing and writing and realized... HOLY CRAP THIS IS SUPER LONG! So you get a long chapter with a cliffhanger. What do you think Ryan's gonna do? What's in his back pocket? While Dylan come in too see what is happening? COMMENT!!!! Love ya peeps!💕 Krissy