Chapter 4: Mario Learns the Truth

Tari: *humming*

*DOOR BANGING*

Tari: Huh?!

Mario: WHERE IS HE?!?!?! WHERE IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?!?!?!

Tari: What the hell?!

Mario stormed in.

Tari: Mario?! What's wrong?!

Mario: Where is he, Tari?!

Tari: Who?

Mario: DON'T YOU DO THIS TO ME, TARI!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!!!

Tari: What are you talking about?!

Mario searched her Cabin.

Tari: Mario! Chill out, mate! What's the matter?!

Mario: Who is he?!

Tari: Who?

Mario: I saw you with another man!!! I'M GETTING VIETNAM FLASHBACKS!!!

Tari: Another Man?! No, that was---

Mario: Is this other man's stuff also in one of these draws?!

Mario opened one of the Side-draws.

Mario: What... the... hell?!?!?!

Mario found... a sussy wrapper.

Tari: Are you OK?!

Mario: Is... this... a Condom?!

Tari: Um...

Mario: Oh... I see what's going on, here! This is one of SMG4's condoms, and you're gonna have sex with that other man!!!

Tari: Mario, listen!!! You gotta believe me!!!

Mario: I'M GONNA FIND THAT OTHER MAN, AND I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!

Mario stormed out.

Tari: MARIO, WAIT!!!

Outside...

Tari: MARIO!!! COME ON, PLEASE!!!

*TAP*

Mario: GET OFF ME, TARI!!!

Tari: This is just a big misunderstanding!!!

Mario: I'm not gonna let history repeat, just like back in the summer!!!

Tari: What do you mean; back in the summer?!

Mario: Remember when SMG4 had that affair with Melony?!

Tari: Um...

Mario: And, you nearly died of that overdose?!

Tari: *sigh* That was a nightmare...

Mario: I'm not gonna let you have that affair with some other random bloke!!!

Tari: I'm not doing that, Mario!!!

Mario: Then, where did you go with that man?!

Tari: Al Janoub...

Mario: Oh! How was that?

Tari: Cameroon 3 - 3 Serbia.

Mario: Anyways, where's that freaking idiot?!

...

Tari: Mario! Let me tell you something!!!

Mario: I can't wait to hear this!

Tari: That random bloke... IS SMG4!!!

Mario: BOLLOCKS!!!

Tari: It's true!!! He got stung by a Scorpion, this morning... and, the next minute... he transformed into this new body!

Mario: You don't transform into a new body when you get stung by a Scorpion! That might kill you!

Tari: Remember when Meggy transformed when that Ink machine exploded back in 2019?

Mario: Oh, God! That was a nightmare...

Tari: And when Saiko and Kaizo did that secret handshake or something... Saiko transformed into a new body!

Mario: I thought it was those Crack-heads... and one of them was you.

Tari: We recognised our friends in those new bodies... including your wife!

...

Mario: So... what you're saying is that other man you were with... is SMG4?!

Tari: I'm positive!

Mario: Well... where is he, now?

Tari: He's at the Supermarket.

Mario: Um... let's find him.

Later...

Tari: Mario... This is SMG4...

Mario: Did he get Plastic Surgery?! Because, he looks like Michael Jackson!!!

Tari: No! He's got a new body!

...

SMG4: Mario?

Mario: Hello, sir... How do you know my name?

Tari: Mario! It's really him!!!

SMG4: Tari is right, Mario! I got stung by a Scorpion and I turned into this new body!

Mario: If you are SMG4... what happened to your voice? You usually have a moustachey voice.

SMG4: For God's sake, Mario!!! It's me; SMG4!

Mario: ...

SMG4: Your best buddy?!

Mario: Prove it!

SMG4: Eh?

Mario: Prove that your my best buddy!

SMG4: Um... 

Mario: I'M WAITING!!!

SMG4: *gasp* I got it!

Mario: Well?

*CLEARS THROAT*

SMG4: Mario is the best person out of all of the SMG4 family members, and he is awesome at making Babies!

...

Mario: S- SMG4?!

Tari: You see?! It's him!

SMG4: You alright, Mario?

Mario: Wha- I... er... AM I HALLUCINATING?!?!?!

SMG4: No! It's really me.

Mario: Oh... My... God...

SMG4: Are you OK?

Mario: Why do you look like a 12-year-old Newspaper Boy?!

SMG4: I still sound like a 23-year-old!!!

Mario: You still act like a 12-year-old...

SMG4: SHUT UP, MARIO!!!

...

Mario: So... what the hell is going on?!

SMG4: *sigh* I'm sorry... it's just... I've had a miserable day, today... Nobody but you two recognises me...

Tari: It's OK... at least we know who you are. You're still my husband... and you still turn me on.

Mario: I'm sorry, what? Is he Gareth Southgate?

Tari: I was... talking about sex.

Mario: Bloody hell, SMG4! Are you actually gonna bang Tari, tonight?!

SMG4: Well... if this new body turns her on.

Mario: But... it's still November!

SMG4: Mario! I bloody know it's November!!!

Mario: Wow! I can't believe I'm about to tell you in your new body...

SMG4: What is it?

Mario: Go back to your Cabin and fill up that Condom!

SMG4: Oh... I will, alright!

Tari: Come here, you!

SMG4 and Tari were about to kiss.

???: TARI?!?!?!

SMG4: What the...

The others showed up.

Belle: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, TARI?!?!?!

Luigi: A- Are you---

Tari: Guys?! It's not what it looks like!!!

Bob: GET AWAY FROM OUR FRIEND, YOU PSYCHO-PATH!!!

Mario: BOB, GET AWAY!!!

Bob: OUTTA MY WAY, MARIO!!!

Mario: GUYS!!! PLEASE, CHILL!!!

...

Boopkins: Tari?! Are you seriously gonna repeat what happened, back in the summer?!

Tari: WHAT?!?!?! NO, I---

Belle: YOU'RE A GRASS, TARI!!!

Tari: I'M NOT A GRASS!!!

Mario: Everyone!!! This man right here IS SMG4!!!

Luigi: Mario, where did you bump your head at?!

SMG4: It's true!!!

Bob: Looks like we're gonna have to take him!!!

Belle: Yeah! Let's take him!!!

SMG4: *SCREAMS* AHH!!! 😱

SMG4 ran off.

Bob: GET THAT ASS-HOLE!!!

The others chased after him.

Tari: OMG!!! SMG4, RUN!!!

Mario: GUYS!!! GET BACK HERE!!!

Mario chased after the others.

Tari: OMG... I'm not even having an affair...

...

Tari: What's up with you?

Melony: What have I become?!?!?!