108

-June 1st 2001-

   After putting Eliana to bed Ross explains his story and how he set up a camera and Rachel entered the apartment.

Ross:So when she came in I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera.It kept rolling and recorded everything.

Chandler:Yeah we’re gonna need to see that tape.

We all agree to Chandler's comment.

Monica:Yeah definitely.

Ross:"Sarcastically".What a great idea.That will get Rachel to forgive me.

Joey:Y’know what?.This is not fair to her. Let’s just forget the tape.

Ross:Thank you.

Cassius:"Mouths".You’ll show me right?.

Ross:No.

Cassius:You’re right."Mouths".I know you’ll show me right?.

Ross:Cas!.No!.

Cassius:Loud and clear!."Mouths".You’ll show me."Nods".

   Ross leaves and soon Me,Joey,Monica,Chandler,Cassius and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.

Monica:I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.

Tabitha:Y’know if they knew what they were doing they probably didn’t give you real names either.

Monica:Okay maybe people give out fake numbers but they don’t give out fake names.

Cassius:Oh yeah?."To Phoebe'.Hi Ken Adams nice to meet you.

Phoebe:Regina Philange."Shakes his hand".

Chandler:I still don’t get it we didn’t do anything wrong.

Monica:I know.Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes.

Chandler:I thought you said those jokes were funny.Joke,Joke,Joke.

Monica:"Rolling head side to side".Joke. Joke.Blah,Blah.

Me,Joey,Cassius and Phoebe laugh.

Chandler:Well maybe it was all of your questions.

Monica:What about my questions?.

Chandler:The sheer volume it was like flying with the Riddler.

Monica:Oh I’m sorry.Was that another joke?.

Chandler:Was that another question?.

Rachel:"Enters".Hey.Is Ross still here?.

Cassius:Uh no Rach he’s gone.But listen he told us what happened and it does it sounds like an honest mistake.

Rachel:Oh really?.Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?.

Cassius smiles.

Rachel:Oh forget it.

Ross enters.

Rachel:Oh there he is now the father of my child the porn king of the west village.

Ross:Look it was accident.Okay?.I-I feel bad that it happened but I swear I didn’t even watch it.Anyway here.

Ross takes the tape out of his coat pocket.

Ross:I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself."Tosses her tape".

Rachel:Thank you.

   Rachel sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when we jump up and yell.

Rachel:What?.

We all yell again.

Rachel:You don’t want to see this do you?.

Tabitha,Monica:Hell yeah.

Rachel:I am not gonna show you this.

Phoebe:No.Not the sex part just the stuff leading up to it.

Ross:Forget it she’s destroying it.

Phoebe:Okay fine.Fine.We’ll just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who thing to rest.Come on now think.

Ross:Look forget it Phoebe.Okay?.It’s Rachel’s tape and she can do whatever she wants with it.And she wants to destroy it. So end of story.

Rachel:I wanna see it.

Ross:What?!.

Rachel:Clearly you don’t want people to see this tape.Now I don’t want people to see this tape either but you so badly don’t people to see it makes me want to see it.You see?.

Joey:"Confused".Are we watching the tape or not?!.

Ross:I don’t want people to see it for your sake.

Rachel:Ah I don’t believe you.I think you don’t want them to see you begging me.

Rachel goes to put the tape in the VCR.

Ross:Rachel please…

Rachel:Ah a little preview.

Ross:Fine.Fine but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road because in about five minutes I’m gonna be saying.

    Ross laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.And they sit down joining us all.

Rachel:Okay here we go."Pushes play".

(Ross:Hello.Can I get you anything?.)

Cassius:"To Phoebe".I’m so happy.

(Rachel:Oh thank God you’re here.You have to help me.Were you just talking to yourself?.)

Rachel:There I am.

Phoebe:You’re gonna get pregnant.

(Rachel:I screwed up so bad I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I-

Ross:You didn’t do it?.

Rachel:I-I know.I had put them in,in,in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.)

   Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.

Monica:"Taking Rachel’s hand".Sweetie okay.It’s okay.Everybody made it to the wedding.I’m fine.

Rachel:Kinda hurting my hand though.

Monica:I know.

(Ross hands Rachel a glass of wine.

Rachel:I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it."Mimicking".Okay Rachel. Here are the invitations Rachel.Now be very careful Rachel.Please drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!.

   Rachel tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations.

Rachel:Whoa oh!.Oh-oh-oh!.Oh…oh-oh-oh…

   Rachel hits fast forward.Monica is completely shocked.

Chandler:Did you do it on our invitations?!.

Ross:Not on the ones we sent out.

Chandler:So just the ones gave back to us and we had framed.

   Chandler slams the framed invitation down onto the table and Rachel stops fast forwarding.

(Rachel:Can you believe this is already happening?.I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.

Ross:I know.Hey remember…remember the night they got engaged?.How uh you and I almost…

Rachel:Oh I remember how we almost.Do you think we would’ve gone through with it?.Y’know if we hadn’t gotten caught.Do you think we would’ve done it?.

Ross:I mean I-I know I wanted to.I just,I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to.

Rachel:Oh I wanted to.

Ross:So we,we both wanted to.

Rachel:Interesting.

Ross:Yeah...Anyway um it probably worked out for the best.

Rachel:Oh yeah sure.)

Rachel:Okay in about ten seconds you’re gonna see him kiss me.

Ross:And in about five seconds you’re gonna see why.

(Rachel:Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?.)

   Cassius is shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.

Rachel:Okay get ready to see some begging.

Tabitha:Oh you came on to Ross.

Rachel:What?!.

Ross:Now I’m so happy.

Rachel:What are you talking about?!.

Joey:You used the Europe story.

Chandler:That’s the magic story you use when you wanna have sex.

Rachel:How do you know about that story?!.

Cassius:How do you know about that story?!.

Rachel:I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy.

Cassius:"Raises hand".Some guy!."Points to himself".

Rachel:No.No she told me his name was Ken Adams.

Cassius:"Raises hand,points to himself".Ken Adams!.