77

-February 11th 1999-

    We are all at Monica and Rachel's eating some Chinese food.Phoebe is looking outside the window.

Phoebe:Oh hey you guys look!.Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!.

    Everyone but me all run and join her at the window.

Rachel:I'd say from the looks of it our naked buddy is moving.

Ross:Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.

Rachel:Oh I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt.

Chandler:And we're done with the chicken fried rice.

Ross:Hey!,Hey!.If he's moving maybe I should try to get his place!.

All:Good idea!.Yes!.

Ross:It would be so cool to live across from you guys!.

Joey:Hey yeah!.Then we could do that telephone thing!.Y'know you have a can,we have a can and it's connected by a string!.

Chandler:Or we can do the actual telephone thing.

    I put down my fried rice and a wave of nausea hits me and I get up and run to the bathroom throwing up.I feel someone hild my hair back and I look up to see my husband.I take some paper towel and I wipe my mouth...The next day at Central Perk Me,Joey and Cassius enter.

Cassius:Hey guys!.

Rachel:Tabitha,Joey,Cas!.Come here!,Come here!.

Joey:What?.

Tabitha:What?.

Rachel:Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.

Joey:You mean how they're friends and nothing more?."Glares at Rachel".

Rachel:No.Joey.she knows.We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window.

Me and Joey gasp.

Rachel:Actually we saw them doing it up against the window.

Phoebe:Okay so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?.

Cassius:Yes but y'know what?.It doesn't matter who knows what.Now enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know!.Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!.

Phoebe:Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.

Tabitha:W-what do you mean?.

Phoebe:Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.

Rachel:Oh I-I would enjoy that!.

Joey:No,no,no!.No,no wait Rach you know what would even be more fun?.Telling them.

Rachel:Eh no I wanna do Phoebe's thing.

Cassius:I can't take any…

Phoebe:No!.You don't have to do anything!. Just don't tell them that we know!.

Joey:No!.I can't take any more secrets!."To Rachel".I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets.I got secrets of my own y'know!.

Rachel:You don't have any secrets!.

Joey:Oh yeah?.Well you don't know about Hugsy my bedtime penguin pal."Shies away".

Rachel:"To Phoebe".So um how,how are we gonna mess with them?.

Cassius:Ugh.

Phoebe:Well you could use your position y'know as the roommate.

Rachel:Okay.

Phoebe:And then.I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal.My sexuality.

Chandler:"Enters".Hello children!.

All:Hey!.

Phoebe:Okay watch,learn and don't eat my cookie.

   Phoebe gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther.

Chandler:Hey.

Phoebe:Hey!.Oh wow that jacket looks great on you!.

Chandler:Really?.

Phoebe:"Feels his arm".Yeah the material feels so soft hello Mr.Bicep!.Have you been working out?.

Chandler:Well I try to y'know squeeze things.

Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.

Chandler:Are you okay?.

Phoebe:Well if you really wanna know I'm oh I can't tell you this.

Chandler:Phoebe it's me.You can tell me anything.

Phoebe:Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too.And the one person I want to the most.

Chandler:What's going on?.

Phoebe:I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don’t even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee Oh no have I said to much?.Well it's just something to think about.I know I will.

   Phoebe makes a show of bending over to get her coat and showing off her bum.She then walks out leaving....Later on at Me and Joey's apartment I enter the living room from my office to see Joey on the couch asleep holding his Hugsy his bedtime penguin pal.I smile and I see the TV is still on so I shut it off and I go back to my office closing the door and I look at my stomach in the mirror.I am almost to the point where i need maturity clothes.

*****************************************

   Later on the next day at Monica and Rachel's Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her fake date with Chandler.

Tabitha:Show time!.

Phoebe:Okay Rachel get me perfume!.

Rachel:Okay.

Rachel runs to get some.

Phoebe:And Joey get me a bottle of wine and glasses?.

    Joey does so as Rachel returns with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.Soon in the hallway Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel who is handing her the wine.

Tabitha:Okay honey now we're gonna try to listen from right here!.

Phoebe:Okay.

Rachel:Okay?.Whoa wait..

   Rachel undoes one button on Phoebe's dress.

Phoebe:Good idea!.

Rachel:Yeah oh wait!."Goes for another".

Phoebe:Oh now don't give away the farm.

   Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it as Me and Rachel hide next to the door.

Chandler:Phoebe.

Phoebe:Chandler.

Chandler:Come on in.

Phoebe:I was going too.

   They go inside and he closes the door...After a while in the hallway Phoebe is talking with Me,Rachel and Joey.

Phoebe:He's not backing down.He went to get lotion.

Cassius:"Entering hall".Oh man!.Aren't you guys done yet?!.I wanna sit in my chair!.

Tabitha:Cas look just look at it this way the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.

Joey:Oh!.

Rachel:Okay!.

Cassius:I like that!."To Phoebe".Oh okay. Show him your bra!.He's afraid of bras!. Can't work em!.

   Cassius rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.

Phoebe:Cassius!."Examining the dress". Wow you didn’t rip off any buttons.

Cassius:It's not my first time.

   Soon the four of us are listening into the apartment as Chandler and Phoebe talk.

Chandler:Oh you're,you're going?.

Phoebe:Um not without you lover...So this is my bra.

Chandler:It's very,very nice.Well come here.I'm very were gonna be having all the sex.

Phoebe:You should be.I'm very bendy...I'm gonna kiss you now.

Chandler:Not if I kiss you first.

Phoebe:Oh.

Chandler:Well I guess there's nothing left for us to do but,but kiss.

Phoebe:Here it comes.Our first kiss.

Chandler:Okay!,Okay!,Okay!.You win!,You win!.I can't have sex with ya!.

Phoebe:And why not?!.

Chandler:Because I'm in love with Monica!.

Phoebe:You're,you're what?!.

   Me,Joey,Rachel and Cassius enter the apartment as Monica comes out of the bathroom.

Chandler:Love her!.That's right I..Love..Her!,I love her!.

   Chandler and Monica walk together and hug.

Chandler:I love you Monica.

Monica:I love you too Chandler."Kisses him".

Phoebe:I just I thought you guys were doing it I didn't know you were in love!.

Cassius:Dude!.

Chandler:And hats off to Phoebe.Quite a competitor.And might I say your breasts are still showing.

Phoebe:God!."Turns and buttons up".

Cassius:All right!.So that's it!.It's over!. Everybody knows!.

Monica:Well actually Ross doesn't.

Chandler:Yes and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.

Cassius suddenly gets very angry at that.