68

-October 29th 1998-

    At Monica and Rachel's Me,Joey,Chandler,Cassius and Phoebe are eating breakfast as Monica enters from her bedroom.

Monica:Hey guess what I'm doing this weekend.I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.

Phoebe:Oh weird Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!.

Monica:Oh now that,that,that's funny it seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.

Chandler:I'm not in charge of where the conference is held.Do you want people to think it's a fake conference?.It's a real conference.

Ross:"Enters".Hey.

Tabitha:Hey!.

Monica:Hey.

Ross:Is Rachel here?.I gotta talk to her.

Monica:No she's out shopping.

Ross:Damn!.

Cassius:What's going on?.

Ross:I told Emily to come here.And I just need to y'know talk to Rachel about it.

Phoebe:Wait a minute!.So when Emily comes you're just you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?.

Ross:Well look I'm just trying to focus on the I get to see my wife  part all right?.And not the part that makes me do this."Takes big swig of Pepto Bismol".

Monica:Wow so you guys are you're never gonna be in the same room together?.How is that even gonna work?.

Ross:I have no idea.I mean…But,but I assure you I will figure it out.

Joey:Doesn’t seem like it's going to work I mean…

Rachel:"Enters".Hi guys!.

Tabitha:Hi!.

Chandler:Uh hey!.

Rachel:What's going on?.

Chandler:We're flipping Monica's mattress.

Joey:So I'm thinking basically we pick it up and then we flip it.

Phoebe:Yeah that's better than my way.

    We all agree and head to Monica's room so Ross and Rachel can talk.

Rachel:Oh okay hey guys would you flip mine too?.

Chandler:Awe man!.

    We go into Monica's room as we are in there Chandler is trying to listen through the door.

Phoebe:"To Chandler".Can you hear anything?.

Chandler:Oh yes somebody just said Can you hear anything?.

    Cassius is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.

Monica:Hey Cas's ass!.What are you doing?.

Cassius:"Holding a box".

Joey:Well remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything?.Well when Ross said Rachel at the wedding I figured it was gonna happen again so me and Cas hid this in here.

Monica:Oh candy bars,crossword puzzles…

Phoebe:Oh Madlibs mine!."Grabs it".

Chandler:Condoms?.

Cassius:You don't know how long we're gonna be in here!.We may have to repopulate the Earth.

Chandler:And condoms are the way to do that?.

   After hearing Rachel crying we all come out from Monica's bedroom.

Rachel:Oh my God.

Monica:Sweetie we heard you crying. Please don't cry.

Rachel:It's Le Poo.

Phoebe:I know it's le poo right now but it'll get better.

*****************************************

-November 1st 1998-

    Me and Joey are at Chandler and Cassius's hanging out.We leave Cassius's bedroom to see Chandler and Cassius leaves the bathroom.

Chandler:Damn Rollos.

Cassius:Hey you're back!.

Chandler:Hey.

Tabitha:How was your conference?.

Chandler:It was terrible.I fought with my colleagues y'know the entire time.Are you kidding with this?."Throws away a Rollo".

Joey:Oh so your weekend was a total bust?.

Chandler:Uh no I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.

Monica:"Enters".Hi!.

Tabitha:Hey Mon you're back.

Monica:Yeah.Um Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?.

Cassius:Hey how was your chef thing?.

Monica:Oh it was awful...I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.

Chandler:Well maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.

Monica:Chandler!."Motions for him to go outside".

Chandler:Monica."Follows her out".

    Me and Joey decide to leave to our apartment and follow them going to it....Later on at Central Perk Ross is drinking some Alka Seltzer.As all of us minus Rachel are hanging out.

Ross:You should've seen the look on her face.I don't want Rachel to hate me!.I don't know what to do.

Cassius:You want my advice?.

Ross:Yes!.Please!.

Cassius:You're not gonna like it.

Ross:That's okay.

Cassius:You got married to fast.

Ross:That's not advice!.

Cassius:I told ya.

Ross:I'm going to the bathroom."Gets up,Leaves".

Tabitha:Man if anyone asked me to give up any of you I couldn't do it.

Chandler,Phoebe:Yeah me either.

Monica:Maybe I could do it.

Rachel:"Enters".Hi!.

Joey:Hi Rach.

Chandler:Hi!.

Cassius,Phoebe:Hey.

Monica:Hey.

Rachel:Look I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it.All right?.

Joey:I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category but uh Ross is right back there."Points over his shoulder".

Rachel:That's not Ross.

Phoebe:Oh no!.Not that guy!.He does look like him though.

Tabitha:Okay Ross is in the bathroom.

Rachel:Oh my God its happening.It's already started.I'm Kip.

Joey:Hey you're not Kip!.

Rachel:"To Joey".Do you even know who Kip is?.

Joey:Who cares?.You're Rachel."(To Chandler".Who's Kip?.

Chandler:Kip my old roommate y'know we all used to hang out together.

Joey:Oh that poor bastard.

Rachel:See?.Yeah you told me the story.He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened?.He got phased out!.

Monica:You're not gonna be phased out!.

Rachel:Well of course I am.It's not gonna happen to Ross!.He's your and Tabitha's brother."To Chandler".He's your old college roommate.Ugh it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group.I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.

Phoebe:Eh!.

Rachel:Honey come on!.You live far away!. You're not related.You lift right out.

    Later on at Chandler and Cassius's.Me,Joey and Cas are watching TV as Chandler enters the apartment.

Chandler;Hey!.

Cassius:Hey Mr.Bing.That uh hotel you stayed at called.Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.

Chandler:Yes that was mine.

Cassius:Cause me and Joey figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.

Chandler:Yes that would have made more sense.

Joey:Y'know I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man!.All right look I'm just gonna ask you this one time.And whatever you say I'll believe ya....Were you or were you not on a gay cruise?!.

    I leave the apartment and I find Monica in the hallway.

Tabitha:Monnie we need to talk.

Monica:About what?.

Tabitha:About You....Are you and Chandler seeing eachother.

Monica:"Nervously".W-why would you say that?.

Tabitha:Well I know you guys stayed in the same hotel.I think that Kissing thing he had after London was a cover up after seeing you two kiss...Both went to New Jersey.C'mon Monica you know you can tell me anything.

Monica:"Blushes". You can't tell anyone about us.

Tabitha:I promise."Smiles".I'm happy for you sis.

Monica:"Smiles".Thanks.